“Mr Darcy,” she answered, smiling when she saw Elizabeth’s cheeks become pink. “Mrs Darcy, his aunt, will be joining him, as well as a few friends, and he has assured us of his regard for their discretion.” Maddie looked over to Mary who was helping Henry cut up a roll. She reached over and gently placed her hand on Mary’s arm, drawing her attention. “Mary, he has assured us they are nothing like his other relations. I wish you to go as I know you will enjoy the flowers.”
Elizabeth looked at Mary pleadingly. She had always wanted to go to Vauxhall Gardens, but before now the opportunity never presented itself.
Mary looked between her aunt and her sister a few times before she finally gave a small smile and asked, “What time are we to leave?”
“Mr Darcy says he will send a carriage to pick you up at ten.”
““Does Mr Darcy indicate how large this party is to be?” Elizabeth asked.
“He says it will be only a few close friends, seven total, with you two included. His other guests will include Mr Charles Bingley and his sister, Miss Caroline Bingley, and possibly another couple, Mr and Mrs Gilbert Hurst, along with his aunt, Mrs Darcy.”
Maddie took Mary’s hand in hers, “You will be well, my dear. It is time you get out more. Who knows, maybe you will meet some new friends among Mr Darcy’s group. Have faith Mary—Mr Darcy knows of your difficulties, and he would not set out to humiliate you.”
Mary signed, “Yes, he has been solicitous of my needs.”
Elizabeth excitedly grabbed her sister’s hand. “We will have such fun.”
“I know you have wanted to go for ages,” Mary said to Elizabeth. “Is Mr Darcy’s cousin to be there as well?”
“The note did not say anything of the colonel or Miss Darcy joining the group.”
“Everything will be well, I know it will,” Elizabeth encouraged.
They will have fireworks once the sun has set, and I know you would enjoy the display.”
Mary nodded, “Yes, I have always wanted to see them.”
The two sisters soon left on their usual morning walk in the park, Elizabeth’s excitement over the invitation evident in her constant chattering to Mary. Maybe it will be as fun a day as Aunt Maddie says, Mary thought as she sat on the bench beside the pond. Fireworks—! Oh I cannot wait!
Friday arrived and the sisters were excited to join their host and his friends as they explored the many walks and exhibits.
Elizabeth looked over at Mary as they stopped to take in the exhibition in front of them. Catching Mary’s eye, Elizabeth gave a hand gesture asking if she was feeling well. The small nod she received was enough to calm her fears and she turned back to the others.
Mrs Darcy was an amiable lady, though her eyes were always carefully watching everything that took place. She did not have the disapproving glares of the Danvers, and for that Elizabeth was grateful. Mary seemed much more at ease in her presence. Mrs Darcy did not fawn over Mary either, which was another good mark of her character.
Mr Charles Bingley was a good-natured gentleman with a ready smile for everyone, so very different than their host, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy. Fitzwilliam... hmmmm, Elizabeth thought, that name seems to fit him. Her cheeks became a bright pink with embarrassment as the thought crossed her mind, especially when Mr Darcy chose that moment to turn and ask her a question. She stumbled with what must have been a decent enough answer, though she could not remember, even seconds afterward, what was said by either of them.
Her attention turned to the other three in their group—Mr Bingley’s two sisters and his brother—in—law. Mr and Mrs Hurst were a quiet couple, hardly saying ten words the whole of the day to anyone except Miss Bingley. Now there was an interesting lady indeed. Caroline Bingley was the younger of the two sisters, though she was older than their brother, by several years Elizabeth would guess. Miss Bingley latched onto Mr Darcy’s arm as often as she could, even pretending to sprain her ankle once just to have a reason to grasp his arm. Her brother quickly stepped up, offering to escort her back home, but she decided it was not necessary and a short walk with his escort seemed to work out the slight bit of pain she felt.
“Are you ready Miss Bennet?”
Elizabeth was torn from her reverie with the melodic sounds of Mr Darcy’s voice. She looked over and saw his hand held out to help her up a step. She reached out, stepped up, and then looked where he was leading her. Her heart stopped nearly as fast as her feet.
“Is something wrong, Miss Bennet?”
“Oh... no... I am sorry Mr Darcy... but I cannot... that it...”
He stepped into her line of sight, breaking her view of the large balloon behind him. “Are you well?”
Her voice was barely above a whisper, “I cannot...”
His answer in return was nearly as quiet as her own, with such tenderness that Elizabeth had to look into his eyes when he said, “Please have no fear; I will be right beside you.” The look in his dark gaze seemed to say to her, ‘please trust me’.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she answered with a nod, “You promise?”
The corner of his mouth rose just slightly, barely perceptible to anyone, even her, as he replied, “Yes, I give you my word.”
With a slight squeeze to her hand, he led her over to the basket where the others in their party awaited them. Mr Darcy placed Elizabeth’s hand on his arm and stepped just a bit closer to her side as the guide lines were unlatched and the basket lurched up, causing her stomach to object. She closed her eyes to keep from becoming sick.
It was Mr Darcy’s voice that drew her back to the moment when he said, “Open your eyes and see the world around you, Miss Bennet.”
She did as he suggested and was surprised at the beauty that lay in front of them. She started to look down until he said, “No, just look out, not down. Focus on something far in the distance.” She followed his long, slender finger as he pointed out to the miles that stretched in front of them, “Do you see the ships near the bridge? That one with the big white sail is just coming into port while the others are preparing to unload their cargo.” He turned her gaze to the left, “Over there we can see the church spires as they raise high above the townhouses. If you look this direction,” he leaned down to her level and pointed way off into the distance, “that tiny dot there is the square where you live.”
Elizabeth slowly felt the wild palpitations of her heart calm as London unfolded around them. She was not yet brave enough to move, but she needed to check on her sister. Closing her eyes once more, she quietly said, “Mr Darcy, I fear my turning around would cause an unpleasant experience for both of us. Would you please tell me how my sister is doing?”
Darcy turned and reported, “My aunt and Mr Bingley are standing beside her and she has a smile on her face as she gazes out over the landscape below.” He turned back to her, “I take it Miss Mary does not fear heights as you do?”
“No, she is much braver than I when it comes to activities such as this.”
“Did you never jump from the loft in the barn or climb trees when you were younger? I have to say, Miss Bennet, you struck me as someone who loved to live life on the edge of danger, especially after hearing of your heroic efforts to stop a particular carriage.”
“That was a very different situation,” she looked up into his eyes, a small smile just touching the corner of his mouth. “As for your other assumptions, a tree is much lower to the ground than this balloon, sir, and my mother would have been scandalized forever, even in her grave, if she found we were jumping from the hay loft,” she said with an arch of her brow and a lilt to her voice.
Caroline stood behind the couple and could not believe it when she heard Mr Darcy give out a low chuckle at the hoyden standing next to him. What did she do to garner such attention from the solemn bachelor? Caroline knew something must be done to separate Mr Darcy from this woman. Her eyes focused on the backs of the two as her mind began to form a plan. Surely his family would not approve of such attentio
n being fostered upon someone whose closest relations are in trade? I must find a way to speak with Lady Danver soon and apprise her of this unfortunate situation. The couple continued to talk as if they had not a care in the world.
“In truth, Mr Darcy, I have always been a bit of a cautious individual and that has saved me from many a broken bone or scraped knee. My sister Mary on the other hand was always found in trees before her accident. It made her change her ways, but she still retains her love for adventure.”
The basket jolted a bit and Elizabeth clutched his arm a little tighter. It was all Darcy could do not to wrap his arms around her shoulders to help ease her fears. “I believe you are braver than you think, Miss Bennet,” he said quietly in admiration.
Mary stood with her face in the wind, her neck extended up and her chin stuck out as the balloon floated through the air. She could not believe the sights below and would turn this way and that looking at everything. A few times Mr Bingley pointed to something in particular and she would turn to see what he said. With a small nod of acknowledgement she would turn back to the breathtaking views all around. At one point she must have frightened him as she looked down at the ground directly below them, because he grabbed her arm to steady her. She thanked him with a nod, then slowly leaned over again, enjoying the rush through her body as the wind whipped around the ribbons of her bonnet. Their balloon ride ended all too soon for Mary, but her spirits soared the rest of the day with the memories and feelings she would never forget.
Darcy wearily sat in front of the fire; his head leaned back against the wings of his favorite chair, a book opened on his lap, and his nightly cup of tea cooling on the table beside him. He looked up when he heard the door open. “I did not expect to see you this evening,” he said as his cousin entered the library and sat in the chair opposite his.
“I did not expect to be here either, but I found myself in need of quiet and my parents were not as indulgent to my needs as I knew you would be.”
Noticing the strain in his features, Darcy asked, “Is there something troubling you?”
Fitz sighed, “Nothing you can help with, Darce.”
“You know you are like a brother to me. I would do just about anything for you.”
“I know you would, but it is not your place.” He stood to pour himself a drink before heavily sitting back down again. “No, what is troubling me is not in your control.”
Darcy asked barely above a whisper, “Are you being sent to the continent again?”
“No, not yet, but papers did come across my desk which would indicate my regiment is likely to go early next year.”
Darcy stiffened as he sat up. Putting the book on the table, he picked up his tea and stirred the tepid drink, his face contorting when the liquid touched his tongue.
Fitz chuckled, “If you hate the taste so much, why do you drink that horrid mixture every night?”
“Mrs Reynolds insists upon its health benefits.”
“I think I will stick to my scotch,” he held up his glass in salute before he drank the burning liquid down in one gulp. “So tell me about your day—how was your Vauxhall Gardens excursion?”
A smile crept over Darcy’s face as he set down his tea again and stared into the fire, telling Fitz about how Miss Bennet reacted to everything they saw. At Fitz’s prodding he also told about the others in the group, though Darcy did notice a certain interest when he mentioned Miss Mary. Soon, the highlights of the day’s events having been told, the cousins sat in silence, both taking comfort in the pleasant stillness surrounding them.
After several minutes, Darcy’s voice cut into the stillness, “Fitz, I know you have refused in the past, but I would like to give you...”
“No, as I have said every time you bring this up, I will not accept your charity, Darcy.”
“It is not charity! You are as close to a brother as I have ever had, and I only wish to give you what would rightly go to a brother if my parents had been so blessed. Rose Bluff is a nice piece of property and would provide you the means to leave the military.”
“I do not mind my service to the Crown. It is what is expected of an earl’s second son and what I have been raised all my life to do.”
“What of marriage though? Are you forever resigned to stay a bachelor because of the expectations placed on your shoulders?”
“You know nothing of expectations,” Fitz replied forcefully.
It took everything in him to not explode at such a statement, “I know nothing of expectations? Who do you think you are talking to here? I am not your brother Milton.”
Fitz sat forward, “I am sorry Darce; I should never have said such to you.” Standing, he began to pace. “If anyone understands expectations, it would be you. The idea of marrying a lady only for her wealth is distasteful to me and would most likely lead to an unhappy union, so what is the rush? I will earn my keep in the King’s Army until I am too old to do so.”
“I wish to help you Fitz. Not because I do not think you can handle the military life, but because I wish to see you happily married one day, with little ones running around here along with my own children.”
Fitz reached for the door handle, “Sorry Darcy. I know you mean well, but I cannot accept such a gift from you. Please do not bring it up again.” With that he retired for the night, hoping his cousin would respect his wishes. Until now he had resisted with much more ease. Since meeting Miss Mary Bennet he found he secretly longed for the life Darcy described tonight, but he knew it was not for him. He was raised to be in the military and would need to prepare himself mentally for the battlefield he was soon to face once again. Daydreaming of a life he could not have would not help.
With his resolve set, Fitz gladly accompanied his cousin to the Gardiner residence the following morning. Not long after their arrival he found himself walking through the nearby park with Miss Mary on his arm, Darcy and Miss Bennet having walked a little faster, separating themselves from the group. Turning to face Miss Mary, he asked, “Did you have a pleasant trip to the Gardens yesterday?”
Mary nodded.
Fitz looked around and saw his cousin circling the duck pond. He indicated the bench where they could wait, sitting in such a way as to easily converse with Miss Mary. “So tell me, was my cousin as exclusionary yesterday as he is today?”
Mary looked at the couple walking slowly around the water and a small smile played on her lips. When she looked back to Fitz she noticed he was watching her mouth intently. With a blush she looked down at her lap. His movement brought her eyes back up to his lips as he continued to talk.
“What was your favorite part of the Gardens, Miss Mary?”
She immediately withdrew a map from the previous day out of her reticule, and with a big smile she pointed to the brightly colored balloon display.
“Ahhh, a woman of great brevity, indeed. I would have thought the flowers would be your favorite part. Was this your first time going up in a balloon?”
She nodded yes as she drew out her ever present notebook and a pencil from her reticule, writing down something before she handed it to him. “The view from up there was breathtaking!”
He chuckled, “I would have to agree with you there. I only wish I would have been available to escort you myself as I dearly wished to see your face as you took in the stunning sights. I hope your escort was solicitous of your needs?”
Mary blushed as she nodded. A little too solicitous at times, she thought to herself.
Fitz felt his stomach tighten at her reaction. Was she affected by Bingley? It would be rude of him to ask, but that is exactly what he wanted to know—needed to know. Noticing his cousin and Miss Bennet as they completed their trek around the pond, he stood and held out his arm to Miss Mary. As they silently walked back to the Gardiners’ house his heart began to ache for what he knew he could never have.
The cousins stayed for tea and Fitz enjoyed talking with Mr and Mrs Gardiner while Darcy spoke exclusively with Miss Bennet, Miss Mary only mak
ing small gestures with her fingers when she was asked a direct question. Fitz was intrigued by the smooth and effortless way in which she spoke. When Mr Gardiner indicated he must return to his paperwork, Fitz asked if he could have a moment of his time. The two excused themselves and Fitz followed their host to his study at the back of the house.
“What is it you need Colonel?”
“Sir, I was just curious about your niece.”
“Ahhh, you too have noticed the particular attention your cousin is paying to her lately,” he sat, indicating the chair opposite for his guest.
“Well, yes sir, I have. It was not that niece of which I was speaking though. Actually, I wished to ask you something of Miss Mary.”
“Oh? Please go on Colonel,” the slightly older man tried to look intimidating, but he doubted it affected the war—hardened soldier in front of him.
“I am curious about the hand gestures she uses to speak. Is it something she was taught, or something she came up with herself?”
Edward looked at the gentleman across from him. After assessing him, he stood and took a book from his shelf, holding it out, “This is the book from which she learned her signs. Perhaps you wish to borrow it?”
Fitz stood and took it, looking down at the well—worn leather binding. “Thank you, sir. I will leave you to your business.”
“Colonel, I have only one request.”
He turned back, “Yes sir?”
“Do not raise her expectations.”
“Sir, while I understand your caution, I know my own situation all too well. It is obvious to me where my cousin’s attentions are paid, and I only wish to make Miss Mary as comfortable around my family as she is around yours.”
“You believe Mr Darcy’s attentions are honourable?”
Fitz squared his shoulders and looked directly into the man’s eyes. “Sir, my cousin has never given his affections lightly nor bandied about Town as others of his set often do. I know him better than anyone else, and I know he is losing his heart to your niece. I doubt he is even aware of the depth of his feelings yet, but I would not be surprised if he is soon asking for an audience with you.”
Just to Hear 'I Love You': An Alternate Tale of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice' Page 7