Just to Hear 'I Love You': An Alternate Tale of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice'

by Sarah Johnson

  “Elizabeth?”

  She turned at the familiar voice and smiled, “Charlotte! I did not expect to see anyone, especially here.”

  “I saw you last night but did not get to speak with you before you left,” she explained, walking closer to the stile, but still keeping her distance.

  “Yes, I was not feeling well so we did not stay long. I am sorry I did not see you.”

  Charlotte’s face did not hold a smile and her hands trembled at her sides. “To tell you the truth, I did not wish to see you last night, so I avoided the room when I saw you within.”

  Elizabeth did not know what to say to such a confession, but she knew she had to know, so she finally asked, “Why? Why were you avoiding me?”

  “My husband and my father are important members of this community and neither of them would have wished me to speak with you. I thought you might be out this morning so I purposely walked this way in hopes of seeing you.”

  Elizabeth rushed back down the steps and ran to her friend, pulling her into an embrace. Charlotte reciprocated and the two took much comfort in their lost friendship being restored. When they separated Elizabeth asked, “You are married?”

  Charlotte smiled only a little, “Yes, I married Mr Collins three years ago.”

  “Mr Collins? My cousin, Mr Collins?”

  “Yes, Mr William Collins. I do not know if you would have heard, but his father passed away just a few months after taking possession of Longbourn. My husband took over and I am now the mistress. We have one daughter and, as you can tell,” she turned sideways showing off her protruding belly, “we are to have another child around Christmas.”

  Elizabeth smiled and reached for her friend’s hand, squeezing her fingers in a loving manner, “I am so happy to hear Longbourn has someone like you. It has lacked in many ways for years because of not having a mistress, and my own father’s penchant to avoid society did not make him the best of masters.”

  “My father said you are married as well?”

  “Yes, I was married just three months ago to Mr Darcy. We live in Derbyshire, but Mr Bingley is a close friend of my husband’s and we came to visit with him before we return to Town for Christmastime.”

  “Last night you looked very happy when you were dancing. Was that your husband?”

  “Yes,” she smiled. “He is a wonderful gentleman. You must come and meet him. Perhaps you can join me for tea later today? Mary is at Netherfield as well and I know she would love to see you.”

  “No,” Charlotte shook her head, “I cannot go there. I am sorry, but I cannot be seen with you. It would not please my husband or my father, and I must not anger the neighborhood.”

  Elizabeth’s face fell as she heard the pain in the words spoken. “Charlotte, in truth, we left last night because I was being shunned. What happened? Why am I being treated like this by the society in which I grew up?”

  Tears welled in Charlotte’s eyes, “Do you not remember that I lost my own brother that night—the dearest person in the world to me?”

  “I lost my family as well so I know what it feels like to lose someone so close to you. It might help us both if we take comfort in the friendship we have had since we were young.” Elizabeth again renewed her invitation, “Please come and visit me?”

  “No, I cannot. I do not wish to ever see your sister again after what she did!”

  “My sister? What has she to do with this?” Charlotte started to turn to walk away, but Elizabeth rushed forward, stopping her. “Talk to me—I do not understand.”

  Charlotte began to weep, her body trembling with the force of the emotions expended. Elizabeth led her over to the stile and helped her sit on the step, then waited patiently until Charlotte was composed again.

  “Will you tell me now?”

  “I am so sorry... I just cannot... I cannot face the person... who... who caused my... my brother’s death.”

  “Caused your brother’s death? Charlotte, whatever do you mean? Mary did not cause that fire,” Elizabeth said in shock.

  “But... but... everyone said she did. The whole neighborhood... it was discussed for... many months.” Charlotte was beginning to cry again and could not stop herself.

  Elizabeth pulled out her handkerchief and placed it in her friend’s hand, “Mary did not set that fire. I do not know who would say such a thing, but I know she did not—she could not.”

  “I am certain you are wrong, Elizabeth.” Charlotte replied. “Mrs Hill herself said... said that Mary was not... in her chambers when she checked on her that night.”

  Elizabeth closed her eyes as the realization came to her. She felt weak and leaned heavily on the stile. “Hill was right, she was not in her chambers that night—she was with me. We went swimming at the pond and returned late. I went down to the kitchens to get us something to eat and when I returned upstairs I saw the light coming from my mother’s chamber. My father would often sit in there. When I opened the door to tell him good night the flames were engulfing the entire room.” Her voice was shaky and it dropped to a near whisper as she continued, “I think it might have started because of the candle being set too close to the bed curtains.”

  Charlotte saw the anguish on her friend’s face and placed her arm around her shoulders, “Oh Elizabeth, I am so very sorry. All these years I blamed Mary. The whole neighborhood blames her.”

  “I am sorry for anyone who has suffered because of the events of that night, but no one has lost more than my sister and I did. We would not have done anything to cause such grief in our own lives, or that of our friends. You must believe me, Charlotte.”

  “I do... I do believe you. Perhaps my telling the neighborhood what really happened will soften them to your presence here.” She squeezed Elizabeth’s hand, “I will do what I can, but I cannot promise anything. My father and Mrs Goulding are both very prominent in the sitting rooms of Meryton and they will not be won over easily by anyone, even me.”

  “Thank you for trying; that is all you can do.”

  Charlotte stood, “I... I am sorry, but I cannot visit you at Netherfield. I will try to walk out every Wednesday morning though if you wish to meet here again?”

  Elizabeth smiled, “I will be here each Wednesday as the weather allows.”

  The two left, Charlotte to dress for morning calls to the neighbors and Elizabeth to tell her husband about her early morning walk. He was just as heartbroken as she was to learn what the neighbors thought of Mary. They both agreed she did not need to know they were being shunned. Elizabeth doubted Mary would leave Netherfield anyway while they were here, so it was not as if someone would come here to purposely treat her badly. The neighbors would avoid Netherfield, and Mary would be none the wiser.

  Darcy wrote to Fitz, telling him about their trip and how the visit was going so far. He told of Mary’s seclusion to the estate but did not include the information Elizabeth found out this morning.

  Later in the day, when Fitz received the letter, he decided he needed to visit Netherfield and be assured his family was well. Really it had more to do with Miss Mary than his cousin, but he was not willing to admit that just yet. He spoke with his commander about taking some time off and it was decided he would deliver some papers to Colonel Forster in Meryton, then he was free for three weeks.

  Fitz left his commander’s office with a lightness to his step—he would see Miss Mary again in just three days.

  “Oh, there you are Miss Bingley.” Georgiana came into the drawing room. She sighed heavily as she sat primly on the edge of the seat nearby.

  “Is there something the matter, Miss Darcy?” Caroline asked when she heard the woeful sighs coming from the girl.

  “Oh, it is nothing, Miss Bingley. Please do not let me interrupt your activities.”

  She now set her embroidery aside, lifting the girl’s hand in hers, “No, no. It is clear that something is amiss, and as the mistress for my brother I must know how to assist you.”

  She knew just how to manipulate Miss
Bingley into getting exactly what she wanted. Sighing heavily once again, she replied, “My companion was unable to travel with us and my brother has been so busy with his wife that I hardly have the time to see him. I thought, if only I could go to the town nearby, perhaps I could find a small trinket or book he might like. However, it seems I am forever doomed to stay here within these walls as there is no one to go with me.”

  Even though Caroline could not stand the young girl in front of her, she put on airs nicely and replied, “Why, that is no great problem as my sister and I were curious to visit the local establishments as well. Perhaps you could accompany us?”

  Georgiana drew her hand up in a semi—shocked way, her acting skills clearly on display still. “Oh, would you do that for me? Why, I must thank you, Miss Bingley. I never would have thought of such a scheme myself.”

  “It is no trouble—no trouble at all. Come, we shall find my sister and be off at once.”

  Mrs Hurst was found and soon the three ladies were transported to Meryton in Bingley’s carriage. Miss Bingley was not impressed with the furriers and refused to stay any longer in such a place, so they quickly walked down the street to the next shop. The book shop was not large, but Georgiana did find something small to purchase for her brother. Even though that was not her intended reason for coming, she had to make it look as if it was. Her real destination was the milliner’s, where the three went next. They found the shelves full of bonnets and hats that Georgiana longed to wear, but again Miss Bingley was not interested in staying there.

  “Perhaps you can go to the other shops and come back for me?” Georgiana suggested.

  “Yes, we can do that,” Caroline said, looking at her sister.

  Mrs Hurst was not completely at ease with this decision, but other than looking askance at her sister and jingling her bracelets, she did nothing. The two left the shop promising to be back in a quarter of an hour for the younger girl.

  Georgiana was in a dream world—oh how she loved hats. The other accoutrements ladies of society accumulated—reticules, fans, handkerchiefs, vinaigrettes, and other such items—meant nothing to a wonderfully designed bonnet. She lovingly ran her fingers over the velvets and silks on each masterpiece. The colors of each were well thought out and Georgiana did not remember seeing such mastery of artistry even at some shops in Town.

  She made her way around the shelves slowly, finally coming to the few bonnets on display in the window. The bright blue silk ties drew her attention and she lifted it to the light to see how it shone. Something caught her eye and she looked out the window towards several officers on the other side of the street. One with his back to her looked very familiar. His stance and the way he tilted his head ever so slightly—even the color of his hair and the manner in which it was pulled back and tied reminded her of someone. She would know him anywhere—George Wickham.

  She drew her breath in when the man in uniform turned around. Yes, it is George! What is he doing here, and in a uniform? He must have joined the Army. She stepped closer to the window, hoping he would see her. He looked across the street in her direction, the twitch of his eyebrow, so familiar, making her heart beat wildly. She was sure he saw her as he always looked at her in that way in Ramsgate.

  The jingle of a bell drew her attention and she looked to the door, seeing Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst return to the store.

  “Oh Miss Darcy, you would not believe the shops here—not one can match those on Bond Street, or even Cheapside,” she cackled in that annoying laugh of hers.

  “Oh? I am sorry you think so,” she replied nonchalantly.

  Caroline walked over and picked up the blue silk ribbon Georgiana had been admiring, flicking it out of her hand after looking at it for a few seconds. Her nose in the air and a general appearance of haughtiness on her face, she said, “I cannot think of anyone who would wear these colors. Come, there is nothing worth our time here in this shop.”

  Georgiana looked back out the window and noticed the group of soldiers was still standing there, but George was no longer with them.

  As they walked to the carriage she looked all around, but he was nowhere to be seen. She kept watch out her window the whole way through the small town, but she did not see him again. She would have to investigate further.

  The following day she talked Miss Bingley into returning to Meryton, hoping she would see George again. Just as she hoped, Miss Bingley was so distracted by the products that she did not pay much attention to the people congregating in the streets.

  Georgiana saw George standing with some of the locals. She continued down the street next to Miss Bingley, and when they were close enough, she cleared her throat. He looked at her—oh how her heart soared when his piercing eyes met hers and that smile appeared on his lips. She fluttered her eyelashes when he tipped his hat to the two ladies. When they were finally to the milliner’s shop once again, Georgiana asked if she could meet Miss Bingley at the tea shop in half an hour. She agreed and walked away, leaving the young girl, once again, on her own.

  Georgiana walked down the street looking for him, but she did not see him. Just then she heard a noise and turned to look down the alley between two buildings. There he stood, his distinguished red uniform and polished buttons shining brightly. Her heart beat wildly as she rushed to him, following him further back from the street so they would not be seen.

  “I did not expect to see you here in Meryton,” he whispered very near to her ear.

  “My brother’s friend, Mr Bingley, has leased Netherfield and we are visiting him.” She reached her hand up to cup his cheek as she smiled, “Oh George, I thought I would never see you again after my brother dragged me away from you on that terrible day in London!”

  He drew her palm to his lips, kissing it several times before whispering, “My affection is not so fickle. If not for your brother, we would be married right now and I would not have needed to join the Army to find my way in this world.”

  “So you have joined?” She stepped back, keeping his hands in her own as she looked him over, “The uniform gives you a very illustrious look. I think I like it.”

  He lifted his eyebrow in a flirty manner, “I think I like that you are here. We must meet again—how long will you be in the neighborhood?”

  “Our plans are to stay for two months then we will return to Town.”

  “Well then we must find some way to communicate.” He thought for a minute, “Hmmm, Netherfield you say?” At her nod he continued, “I think I can get a note to you through a maid named Becky. I have seen her a few times... when the housekeeper sends her for supplies at the butcher. Do you know of her?”

  “No, but I will find her.”

  “Good. When you know you will be visiting Meryton or out on a ride alone, let me know through her and I will meet you.” He looked down the alley to ensure they were still not seen. Assured of their privacy, he drew her closely to himself and kissed her with all the passion he could garner.

  Georgiana was so taken aback at his lips, once again, on hers that she closed her eyes to revel in the moment. When she opened them again, he was gone. She smiled and hugged her arms around herself, “He loves me—I just knew he did.”

  She slowly made her way back to the street and found the tea shop where she was to meet Miss Bingley. She was a little early, so she stood off to the side. Some local ladies entered and were talking about a scandal—something about a fire years ago. She did not pay much attention until she heard one lady say, “Say what you will, but that girl should have been put in an institution years ago. No matter what Mrs Collins claims, I know Mary Bennet set the fire that led to the deaths of six people, three of which were her own family.”

  The two ladies continued on as they looked at the items on the shelves. Georgiana could not believe what she had just heard—Mary Bennet! She immediately began trying to figure out how she could best use this information to hurt the Bennet sisters. Oh but I cannot make it so obvious to Fitzwilliam. I do not wish to be sen
t away, and he has already threatened to do so. Miss Bingley... that is how I will pass this information along. I need only mention what I heard out of concern for our own safety as Mary Bennet is staying at Netherfield. She will inevitably choose the perfect time to tell the others. If there is anything in which Miss Bingley excels, it is being spiteful. She cannot pass up any gossip, and has no guilt in using what she can to her own best interest.

  Miss Bingley joined her and the two purchased some tea before they left. On the ride back to Netherfield, Georgiana told what she heard, saying how frightened she was to learn such news. The false shock and nearly present tears helped to garner Miss Bingley’s support, and she said she would take care of the situation herself. Georgiana even went as far as to say it would not be necessary, but of course Miss Bingley insisted it was for the best. Georgiana was happy knowing she would have her revenge upon the Bennet sisters and it would not even be from her own mouth.

  After questioning her maid, Georgiana was able to determine which maid was Becky, and with some subterfuge, she was able to speak with the girl, introducing herself as a friend of George Wickham’s. Becky agreed to pass along any letters between the two, saying she would go to Meryton again tomorrow. Georgiana thanked her and said she would get a letter to her in time, then she went to her room to pour her feelings out in a missive that turned out to be five pages in length. She sealed it but did not use her own ring in the wax, then wrote on the outside, ‘G. Wickham’. Placing it in her pocket, she made her way quietly down the stairs and found Becky again to deliver the note.

  When she returned to her room it was time to dress for dinner. Tonight she would stay downstairs in the sitting room after the meal in hopes that Miss Bingley would decide to pass along the information she overheard in town today.

  As it turned out, it was a perfectly boring evening, and Georgiana retired late, thinking about the love of her life, the man who held her heart in his wonderful hands—George Wickham.

  Elizabeth was again not feeling well when she awoke, but as was typical, within a few hours she was ready for some fresh air. Since her husband and Mr Bingley were fishing, she went in search of her sister to see if she wished to join her in the garden. Mary agreed to the need for some exercise and the two were on their way out when Miss Darcy and Miss Bingley came down the stairs laughing together about something.