Just to Hear 'I Love You': An Alternate Tale of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice'

by Sarah Johnson

  By the time Elizabeth returned, Fitz had put the letters back in the trunk, and the two were awaiting her in the library once more. They told her what they found and the three of them were able to come up with a plan. Darcy wrote to his aunt, Edith Darcy, explaining the situation, and if all went well, Fitz would return to Town within the next week to deliver Georgiana to Mrs Darcy. They talked of a few contingencies in case they had to leave early.

  When they were done, Darcy said he needed to speak with Bingley about the maid mentioned in the letter, so he excused himself.

  Elizabeth was leaving the room when Fitz said, “Elizabeth, if you have a minute, I wish to speak with you?”

  “Of course; what is it?”

  “It is about your sister... Miss Mary.” He felt his throat grow tighter, so he cleared it and continued. “I... that is... I know it is not usually done as such, but I wish to receive your approval to ask for her hand... in marriage.”

  “You are right, it is not usually asked of a sister, but I appreciate the sentiment. Let us sit and we can talk about this, shall we?”

  Mary sat on the large swing that hung from a tree at the back of the gardens. She looked out over the fields beyond the gate, her mind wandering back to the words Fitz had used earlier when they spoke briefly. ‘I have some plans which I hope will make my future very bright.’ Just what did he mean? What plans did he have, and more importantly, how did she feel about those plans possibly taking him from her again?

  He is not here for me, she kept telling herself. He is only a friend. He does not wish to be more, and he deserves to have a wife one day. Perhaps one day soon. She could not help the sadness she felt when she thought of him being married to someone else.

  Her toes barely reached to the ground, pushing the swing ever so gently in the cool autumn breeze. I must be happy for him, no matter what these plans are, she told herself. He wishes to speak with me when he returns, so for today I still have my friend.

  Mary’s thoughts continued and time slowly slipped by. She did not even realize how long she had been outside until she looked up and saw the light beginning to fade in the sky. She was just about to stand when she felt a presence behind her and a familiar hand come around her shoulder, presenting her with a small bundle. She chuckled at such a gift and reached up to take the flowers from him, bringing the bright pink ivy geraniums to her nose. She breathed in the fragrant sweetness and smiled. She was just about to turn around when she realized what other items the bundle held as well. The geraniums meant ‘bridal favor’, and they were surrounded by linden leaves, which stood for ‘conjugal love’. Tied around the bundle was a vine of ivy, meaning ‘fidelity in marriage’.

  When what she held in her hand was realized, Fitz stepped around the swing. He reached for her empty hand as he dropped to one knee in front of her, drawing her hand to his lips and depositing a simple kiss there before releasing it again. He looked deep into her dark brown eyes and signed, “I have held you in a special place in my heart since my cousin told me of you before we even met. Then we became acquainted and that feeling quickly grew into a very special friendship. Being away from you the last few months has made me realize just how in love with you I am. I know such a path is truly frightening for you, and I understand all the obstacles in my way to such happiness, but I cannot go through life without you by my side. Please tell me you feel the same? Please marry me?” He then pulled out of his pocket plaited strands of straw, holding it out to her.

  ‘Agreement’. Slowly her hand reached up, her fingers lightly running over the woven texture. She looked up into his bright blue eyes and could not help the tears that welled up in her own. “You love me?”

  “How could I not?” He replied. “You are the most fascinating lady I have ever encountered. Your mixture of strength and vulnerability is ingrained into my heart, and I cannot go another day without you by my side.” He lifted the plaited straw between them, “So will you agree to marry me?”

  Mary reached out to take the strand from him, giving him a simple nod.

  Fitz slowly reached both of his hands up, taking her face in them as he drew closer to her mouth. When their lips touched it felt like fire kindled between the two and he could not break the bond they now shared. He felt Mary’s hands reach around his neck and her fingers tangle into his blonde hair as she pulled him closer ever so slightly. The kiss was slow and passionate, and when the need for air finally became too much for both of them, they separated. Fitz kept her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers, looking deep into her eyes. No words were needed—her eyes told him how much she returned his love.

  The gentle motion of the swing broke the moment and they realized their need to return inside before it became dark. Fitz stood and reached out his hand to her. When she took it and stood, he drew it to his lips, depositing a kiss before winding it around his arm and leading her through the garden and back inside. Fitz was excited to see the smile on Mary’s face and the simple pleasure in her eyes. When they parted at the stairs, he eagerly went to find his cousin and inform him of the good news.

  Mary nearly floated up the stairs to dress for the evening meal. She chose a simple white gown with a bright pink ribbon tied around her waist, the pink being repeated on her sleeves and on the hem of the dress. The ribbon matched so closely with the color of the geraniums the colonel had given her that she had asked her maid to weave a few of the flowers into her hair. The curls atop her head were encircled with a braid, and the geraniums woven within. Mary could not help but smile at the sentiment with which she had chosen such frivolous accoutrements tonight. Will he notice?

  When her sister came into her room she was seated at the dressing table, the straw plait in her hand as her fingers ran across the surface. She looked up into the mirror when she felt her sister’s familiar arms wrap around her.

  “You look lovely,” Elizabeth said. “He will be dazzled by your beauty.”

  Mary turned around, signing, “You know?”

  “Yes, he approached me earlier today. He said he knew it was not usually done, but he felt he must ask for my approval before he would speak with you,” Elizabeth signed. “When I saw you talking so easily with him that day in the park many months ago, I knew you two would find the love Fitzwilliam and I have found. I am so very happy for you!”

  Mary pulled her sister into a tight embrace as tears flowed from the eyes of both. When she finally let go, she told Elizabeth the details of the proposal, showing her the flowers and telling of their meanings. By the time they heard the chime of the clock indicating they should go downstairs, both had shed many tears and spoken of the love neither one ever truly thought they would find.

  Elizabeth inspected Mary’s hair, affixing one geranium that had come loose. “He will love it.”

  Mary blushed, “I hope so.”

  “Of course he will,” Elizabeth said with conviction. “Now come—we have two gentlemen awaiting us downstairs.” The two stood and left the room, joining the men and Georgiana already in the drawing room.

  Fitz was mesmerized when Mary walked in the room. She was glowing. He stood from his seat and walked over to her, taking her hand in his as he bowed and kissed the back of her fingers. He noticed the others were giving them a little privacy, and he grinned at his intended. When her cheeks became pink, he signed, “The rosiness of your cheeks and the flowers in your hair only add to the beauty you already possess.”

  Their moment was interrupted when Mrs Nichols entered, announcing that the meal was ready to be served. Fitz gladly led his lady to the dining room, sitting close to her in hopes of the small touches he wished to bestow upon her during the meal. He soon realized that her being left handed was a blessing indeed, as he was able to hold her right hand in his left under the table without anyone being the wiser—or so he thought. Nothing was unseen by Elizabeth, but she understood the need for such stolen caresses and would allow the breach in propriety for now.

  The two were also observed c
losely by Georgiana, who had not yet been told the news of their engagement. By the end of the evening she was more furious than ever. She came to the conclusion that the two would marry, and she had a feeling her cousin was doing so just to acquire the piece of property she thought would one day be hers. As soon as the meal ended she excused herself from the company and retired for the night.

  When she was dressed for bed and her maid dismissed, she pulled the trunk out from under her bed and opened it, reaching for the letter on the top. She opened it and read the first line, becoming a bit confused. I thought this one was at the bottom? She picked up the other letters, shuffling through the stack until she found the one she wanted, then put them away again, not giving another thought to her discovery.

  She sat at the desk for the next hour penning a missive to George with several ideas of how she could sneak away to join him and they could finally be married. Then she sneaked down the back stairs to the place she would hide her letters for the maid to deliver them. She knew the maid’s schedule would take her to Meryton tomorrow, and she hoped George would write her back soon, as she was becoming exasperated with being separated from the love of her life. Sneaking back to her room once again, she could not help but wish for George’s arms around her.

  She sat in her bed late into the night reading through the love letters she had collected from him over the last few months. Finally, exhaustion overtook her and she went to sleep, dreaming of a life she dearly wished she could have with her love.

  When it came time for everyone to retire, Fitz asked Darcy and Elizabeth if they would mind him walking Mary to her room. Darcy, now in a position of power over his cousin, smirked as he answered, “I think that would be a decent idea. I am sure my wife wishes to walk Mary to her door as well, so we will make it a group effort.”

  Fitz rolled his eyes, but he knew he would get no time alone with Mary tonight so he put out his arm and smiled when she wrapped her hand around it. As an annoyance to his cousin, Fitz walked as slowly as he could.

  Elizabeth held onto her husband’s arm as they made their way up the stairs. Being more than a few paces behind the newly engaged couple, she knew she would not be heard if she whispered, so she leaned closer to her husband, “You know he will pay you back for such a stunt.”

  “Of course he will; I expect nothing less.”

  She chuckled, “As long as I do not have to pay for it as well.”

  Darcy stopped walking at the corner of the hallway, giving the couple ahead of them time at Mary’s door alone. He turned to his wife and drew his arms around her expanding frame, his hands loving the soft form. “I know all too well what he wishes, and I have no problem giving my cousin time to woo his intended, but I take my job as her protector very seriously.”

  Elizabeth smiled, “Are you going to be this protective of our own daughter.” Her hands wove around his neck as she played with the dark curls that lay there.

  Darcy slowly lowered his face, their lips nearly touching, “I love it when you talk of our children.”

  “How many do you wish to have?”

  Darcy pulled away just a little to peek around the corner, happy to see that his cousin was keeping to an appropriate distance. When he turned back to his wife, he smiled, “I always wished for a house full of children. I was a single child for 12 years, and Pemberley was very lonely. Even when Georgiana was born the house still seemed so empty since she was so much younger than me. Fitz’s presence there when he was younger helped give us the bond we now possess, and I dearly wish that for my own family.” He saw her thinking, so he quietly asked, “How many do you wish to have?”

  “Well, as you know, I grew up in a much larger family, but it was always me and Mary alone in the world. My mother and youngest sister died when I was only five, and after that my father secluded himself in his study and left the rest of us to our own devices. I have always wondered what our family would have been like if such tragedy did not strike.”

  Darcy took her hands in his and rested them both on her abdomen, “Elizabeth, whether we have just this one child or a dozen, you and I are not our parents. If tragedy strikes our family... not that I want it to, but if it does, we will not react as our parents did by pushing our own children away. It is not who we are. We both know to live each day as it is given to us, and I expect our days, no matter the size of our family, to be filled with laughter and joy.” He let go of her hands and drew his arms around her in a tight embrace, she resting her cheek on his chest.

  When they felt it necessary to release each other, Elizabeth quietly replied, “Thank you Fitzwilliam. I cannot but agree with you about our household.”

  Darcy took a step backwards and brought both of her hands to his lips, depositing a kiss on the back of each, then smiled, “I think they have had enough time alone.”

  She chuckled, “Yes, quite so.”

  He wrapped his wife’s hand around his arm once more as they rounded the corner and walked up to the couple.

  Fitz saw them coming and drew his intended’s hand to his lips giving a chaste kiss, though the look in his eye was anything but chaste. He then looked to his cousin, “Darcy, Miss Mary wishes to go for a ride tomorrow and I have offered my services in accompanying her, if that meets with your approval?”

  “The weather today was quite nice,” Elizabeth answered, “so perhaps it would be a good day for us to take a picnic and explore the trails around the area?”

  Darcy looked to his wife, “Are you certain you wish to ride? I know you do not enjoy the activity.”

  Elizabeth just smiled broadly, “What I enjoy is being with my family, and I will be well enough riding, though we may have to take it slow.”

  Mary signed to her sister, “Only if you promise I can ride across one field at top speed?”

  Elizabeth reached for Mary’s hands, squeezing them, “I promise, as long as you promise not to get hurt.”

  Fitz chimed in, “I will, of course, offer my services in accompanying her across the field.”

  “Of course you will,” Darcy replied. “Hmmmm...” he thought, “I am certain Bingley and Georgiana will agree to such a plan. Perhaps it will be a day of fun and celebration.”

  Fitz took Mary’s hand once more, looking deep into her eyes, “Any day with Mary by my side is cause for celebration.”

  The gentlemen took their leave of the ladies. Elizabeth slipping into her sister’s room with her, to speak for just a moment, before she too retired.

  As they walked towards Fitz’s room, Darcy asked, “Are you certain you wish to go off the property?”

  “No, perhaps it would be best to stick to Netherfield’s lands. With Bingley along it should be easy to determine just when we should turn back.”

  Darcy thought for a few seconds before he replied, “We will need to tell Georgiana of your plans soon.”

  “Not until after I speak with Mr Gardiner. I do not need this getting back to my parents before I go tell them myself.”

  Darcy nodded, “Yes, I can see how that could turn into a very harsh situation for you. If I can do anything...”

  “I will let you know.”

  “Until tomorrow,” then he took his leave and went to his own room to await his wife.

  Fitz came bounding down the stairs with a light step, surprised to see Bingley in the hall. “Isn’t it a bit early for you?”

  Bingley drew his hand over his face as he sighed heavily, “Yes, but there was a matter I had to see to personally this morning. I tell you, Darcy is much better suited to being the master of an estate than I will ever be.”

  Fitz now stood beside him in the front hall. “Believe me, of that I know all too well. Nothing compares to the size of Pemberley.”

  Bingley’s eyes grew larger, “Yes, Pemberley would certainly send me into apoplexy. Is it too early for you to join me in a drink?”

  Fitz shrugged, “Does that offer come with a cigar as well?”

  “Yes of course,” Bingley smiled.

 
“Then lead the way, my good man, lead the way.”

  When the two were seated in Bingley’s study, Bingley nursing a drink and Fitz puffing happily on his cigar, Fitz finally broke the silence. “So tell me, what is it that has you wishing for such strong spirits so early in the day?”

  “I followed the maid this morning and found that she was, indeed, delivering a message to Wickham. Who it was from I know not, but I am sure you can easily guess who I think it is. So my day started with my having to dismiss the girl without reference and come up with a reason to give the housekeeper when I returned. With everything else going around the neighborhood, Darcy and I thought it best to keep this from even Mrs Nichols. She was not pleased with my decision, but she would never risk her own employment to say as such to me.”

  Fitz sighed heavily, “I am truly sorry for the upset my young cousin has caused to your household.”

  “As long as she is safe—that is all that matters.”

  “Well, for now she is. Hopefully within the week she will be on her way to the north with Mrs Darcy and Mrs Annesley, then we can be more easily assured of her safety.”

  Bingley stood and went to pour another drink from the sideboard, slowly sipping it. “What is it about that cad that draws ladies’ interest? Do they not see that he is nothing but a rake?”

  “I am sure you have heard the many rumors about my own brother over the years, and I have often wondered the same about him. Unfortunately, both he and Wickham were born with good looks and charming smiles, and the ladies do not see the deceptiveness of their schemes until it is too late. I know for my brother it is all about the conquest; the chase. Once he has his prize he no longer sees a need to continue and he breaks the poor lady’s heart, leaving her to the contrition of society. Perhaps Georgiana has not yet seen this side of Wickham, but he is just the same as my brother. Neither can be trusted.”