Just to Hear 'I Love You': An Alternate Tale of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice'

by Sarah Johnson

  After a fitful night of sleep, Fitz set out for Brunswick Square at the earliest appropriate hour. When he arrived at the Gardiner’s residence he was informed that Mr Gardiner was at one of his warehouses, so he rode on to Cheapside to find him. He was impressed with the size as he followed an employee through the stacks of shipping crates and up the stairs that led to the office.

  Fitz thanked the man and watched as he walked back down the stairs and continued on with his work. After taking a deep breath, Fitz knocked solidly on the door, entering when he was bid so by the familiar voice inside.

  “Good morning, sir,” he bowed.

  Edward Gardiner stood and smiled, walking forward with his hand outstretched to shake his visitor’s hand. “Colonel, it is a pleasure to see you today. Please have a seat.” He indicated the chair beside the desk, ensuring Fitz was comfortable before sitting down himself. “I have not seen you in several months now.”

  “Yes sir; not since we traveled together through the Peaks after my cousin wed your niece. It is always nice to see you though.”

  “I know you are kept busy with your duties, and I am grateful you have taken the time to pay a call,” Edward replied.

  Fitz shifted in his seat, wishing he could stand to pace. “Actually, I am here on a matter of business.”

  “Oh? What business would bring a colonel to my door?”

  He cleared his throat, “It is more on a personal basis, not as a colonel.”

  Edward thought he had a small idea of why the slightly younger man in front of him could be here, but if he were correct then he would not make this easy. “You have intrigued me, sir. Please continue.”

  Fitz’s knee bounced in a nervous state as he began the speech he had practiced for days. “Mr Gardiner, it has been a great pleasure of mine to be intimately acquainted with your extended family since the spring. My cousin and your niece make a wonderful couple and I dare say they will one day make incredible parents.”

  Edward interrupted him, “Are you saying my niece is with child?”

  “What?... Ummmm...” Fitz could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. “I did not mean to imply... I just meant... when they are ready to say...” He quit talking immediately. Darcy is going to kill me for telling their news, he thought to himself.

  “Yes, of course.” Edward tried not to chuckle at the obviously flustered man. “Perhaps it is time we talk with our niece.”

  His cheeks turned scarlet, then he took a breath and tried again with his own plight. “Sir, it has been my pleasure to know your family.”

  “Yes, you stated as such already.”

  Fitz nodded, trying to get back on track with his speech. “These past few months I have come to accept something I have chosen to ignore before now.” He took a deep breath and quickly stated the rest. “I have come to ask for your niece Mary’s hand.”

  Edward did not move. He was leaned back, his arms resting across his chest as he steepled his fingers in front of his lips. His demeanor gave away nothing of the joy he felt on the inside. He knew how cruel this would be, but he could not resist the opportunity to tease the clearly rattled colonel. “As far as I am aware, my niece has no desire to ever marry. She has stated such many times over the years, and I doubt a handsome face could convince her otherwise so quickly.”

  Fitz felt his throat swell. He could barely breathe. “Sir, I can assure you of her acceptance of my suit.”

  Edward sat forward, “Oh? When exactly have you seen my niece since we parted ways?”

  “I have been visiting Bingley’s estate for the last week and a half.”

  “And in a week and a half you have come to this arrangement?”

  Fitz could hardly stay in his seat now, “Sir, I know you take great pleasure in this conversation, but I can honestly tell you if you continue on much longer without giving your consent I very well might need a bucket.”

  Edward could not help the laugh that escaped his lips. He leaned forward and patted the younger man’s shoulder, “All right, I will stop teasing you and give you my answer. I have seen you both with that look in your eye, and I am happy to see you have finally come to your senses. If she will have you, then you have my permission to marry my niece.”

  Fitz jumped up, eagerly shaking the man’s hand as he thanked him for his time. Mr Gardiner pulled out two cigars, offering one to Fitz. The men talked for another half an hour, Fitz telling Mr Gardiner of selling his commission easily and his new status in society. When the time came for him to take his leave, he promised to pass on a request for the residents of Darcy House to visit Brunswick Square for supper on Saturday evening.

  As Fitz rode through the streets of London, slowly making his way back to the Mayfair district where Darcy House was located, he could not help but smile at all he passed. He chuckled at two little girls in a park who were in a squabble over a doll, their nursemaid stepping in to quell the fighting. One couple nearby tried to hide their amorous embrace behind some bushes, and he could not help but think of Mary and his desire to do just that with her. The crisp autumn air filled his chest, invigorating him on his excursion. The only thing that could take the joy of the moment from him was the knowledge that he and Darcy would be visiting his mother this afternoon to apprise her of his recent decision to sell his commission and marry someone of whom his parents would never approve.

  Fitz and Darcy stood before the door to the Earl and Countess Danver’s house. Fitz could not stand still and continually fussed with his waistcoat, “I would be more comfortable telling my parents of selling my commission and my plan to marry if I were in my uniform, but instead I have to be in this blasted coat and cravat.” He pulled at the tight material around his neck.

  “Whether you are in your uniform or not, you are still the same man with the same authority over his future. Do not forget that,” Darcy encouraged.

  The butler answered the door and led them to the sitting room where the countess was receiving callers this afternoon. She stood as they were announced.

  “I did not know you were back in Town, Darcy,” the countess replied, giving him a kiss on his cheek. She then turned to her youngest son, “And you! I know not why you have kept yourself away for so long. I pray your duties have not been too taxing of late?”

  “I have been kept rather busy,” Fitz replied, sitting beside Darcy where his mother indicated.

  The countess took her own seat looking like the queen herself receiving visitors to her court. They exchanged pleasantries usual to the sitting rooms all around London as they waited for their hostess to complete her preparation of the tea. She finally poured it for the two cousins, handing them each a cup. Fitz was just clearing his throat to begin when another visitor was announced. They all stood as Lady Beaumont, Lady Danver’s dearest friend, was announced. Greetings were exchanged and they were soon seated again, Lady Beaumont, as was her usual way, taking over the conversation.

  “I am surprised to see you, Mr Darcy. I was unaware of your return to Town.”

  “We arrived just yesterday, my lady,” he answered.

  “Yesterday! My,” she looked at her friend, “you have not wasted any time in paying your dear aunt a call then. I am certain she appreciates your eagerness to see her as soon as may be.”

  “Why, yes, of course. I could not wish for a more considerate nephew. He has always been so intimate with our family.” Lady Danver knew this was not true, but she would use every opportunity presented to her to further her place in society.

  Lady Beaumont turned now to Fitz, “My husband tells me your regiment will be leaving again early next year. I do pray you will be safe in your travels.”

  Fitz tried to answer, “Yes, I believe they will...”

  The lady drew her hand to her heart in an exaggerated flourish as she turned back to her friend, “Oh I cannot imagine being in your situation, my dear. My own sons are, luckily, not drawn into this dreadful war which seems to never end. I cannot imagine having one of them leave me so often for—w
hat is it, his third trip to the continent?”

  “Yes; how dreadful each of these trips has proven to be for me,” Countess Danver was putting on quite a show for her friend, waving her handkerchief and patting the corners of her perfectly dry eyes.

  “You are very blessed to have had your son return to you. We will all pray for his safety once again.”

  “Actually, I will be perfectly safe...” Fitz started to say, but was again interrupted.

  “Now, now, I know you only wish to impede any distress for your mother, so we will change the subject.”

  Fitz sighed. He knew he would never be able to tell his mother anything with Lady Beaumont here, and as the two were good friends, it was likely she would be here for quite a while with his mother.

  “Mr Darcy,” Lady Beaumont now turned back to the other gentleman, “I have been privileged to hear your aunt mention often of your recent marriage.”

  “Yes, my lady. We were married a few months ago.”

  “Pemberley, I am sure, is more than ready for a new mistress, and dare I say a new heir soon?” She smiled and turned to her friend, “I cannot tell you how wonderful a new babe can be for a family.” She clasped her hands together and drew them to her chest, “It is a feeling like no other to see the next generation, and I am grateful daily for having my grandchildren so near.” She gave a contented sigh, then turned back to Darcy, “But sir, I was surprised to hear from your aunt that your wife was not known among our society. Wherever did you meet her?”

  “No, I do not believe she has made your acquaintance,” he offered, trying to stop the direction he knew this conversation was going. “We met when she was on holiday in Ramsgate with her family.”

  “Am I also correct in that you have not yet been to Town with your bride before now?”

  “Mrs Darcy and her sister, Miss Bennet, have lived here with their relations for the last few years, so we felt the need to stay in the country immediately following the wedding,” he answered.

  Fitz saw his mother’s jaw tighten and her shoulders stiffen at the mention of Mary, but she said nothing.

  “Bennet... hmmm, Bennet... I cannot say I recognize that name. You say they have been here in Town the last few Seasons?”

  “Their father kept his family from much of society, so I doubt you would know of him. He held land in Hertfordshire. When tragedy took their family from them, my wife and her sister came here to stay with relations.”

  Lady Danver now played with the lace half—gloves on her hands, trying not to show too much disdain, though she felt it rising in her chest.

  Lady Beaumont was shocked to hear such news of the ladies’ family. She drew her hand to her chest, “Oh my! What a tale. It is settled then—your wife must be introduced to our society, and I will personally do so this evening. I am certain you would not deny me the pleasure of escorting your wife around my ball this evening, would you, sir?”

  He looked to his cousin, who only lifted his eyebrow in amusement. Turning back, he tried to decline the invitation, but was interrupted once again by the persistent lady.

  “Nonsense, my dear—I will not take no for an answer. I will expect to see you and Mrs Darcy there, as well as Miss Bennet. Your sister is not yet out, is she?”

  “No, she is not.” He looked to Fitz, then back Lady Beaumont, “I am not certain we are available at such short notice,” he tried to say.

  She leaned over and patted his hand, “Your wife has yet to be introduced to anyone, and as this is the largest ball of the Little Season, it is the perfect opportunity. Now that we know you are back in Town and are calling on others,” she said, lifting her hand to indicate Lady Danver, “you simply must come.” She nodded in determination, “We will expect you and your lovely wife, as well as her sister, at nine this evening.”

  “Well, I am not certain my wife has something appropriate to wear as we just arrived,” he tried to get out of it again.

  “Oh my! Do not tell me Mrs Darcy does not have something she could wear to such an occasion. It would not do your reputation well to have your wife in rags, sir.”

  He mumbled, “That... that is not what I meant.”

  “I am sure you do your best as a husband, unlike some of our set who are chintzy over the tiniest charge for necessary accoutrements.” She looked to the Lady Danver with a knowing look.

  Darcy’s aunt blushed slightly under such scrutiny of her husband’s known habits.

  Lady Beaumont turned back to Darcy, “No, no, you must come! I insist.”

  The clock chimed in the background and he knew the time for their call had come to an end. When they stood, Lady Beaumont addressed Fitz, insisting on his presence at the ball this evening as well. Neither one gave any indication they would attend, but they both knew there was no getting out of it.

  They took their leave and both climbed back into the carriage. “You know your wife will not take too kindly to such an underhanded scheme?” Fitz said with a smirk.

  “Yes, I know.” Darcy rubbed his face wearily and leaned back into the cushioned seat. “While Lady Beaumont is quite assertive in her insistence, she is also correct. Elizabeth must be introduced as my wife, and there is no better time during the Little Season than at the Beaumont’s ball.”

  “Well then, let us dig out our dancing shoes and convince our ladies what fun we will have,” Fitz replied.

  Darcy chuckled, “I think convincing Elizabeth will be easier than convincing Mary.”

  “You might be right there,” Fitz replied. “Do you mind if we stop somewhere first?”

  “What are you thinking?”

  “I think if we show up with the perfect blossoms in our hands we may have an easier time of convincing them.”

  Darcy smiled, “That is very true. To the flower shop it is,” he said as he opened the door to inform the driver, then they were off.

  Mary was delighted when Fitz came back from visiting her uncle with the good news of his approval. Now, as he and Darcy were visiting Countess Danver to apprise her of the news, she and Elizabeth sat talking of their plans over the next few months, including their planned visit to the Gardiners on Saturday.

  Elizabeth was insisting upon Mary getting a new gown when the two gentlemen returned, each bearing a small bundle of flowers. Mary blushed when Fitz took her hand and kissed the back before giving her the blossoms—oak leafed geraniums, meaning ‘true friendship’, and a few lemon geranium leaves mixed in. Their meaning of ‘unexpected meeting’ piqued her interest and she looked at him questioningly.

  Elizabeth asked, “Did it go so well as to put you in such a gay mood?”

  Fitz took the seat nearest Mary, “Actually, I was not able to speak with my mother on the matter as she had another visitor—Lady Beaumont.”

  Darcy sighed. “Yes, and there is something else we must apprise you of, my love,” he said to his wife. “Lady Beaumont is to have a ball this evening, and she insists we attend. While I would normally not have a problem denying her request after just arriving in Town yesterday, she was correct in saying I will have to introduce you to society as my wife, and this ball is the perfect opportunity to do so.”

  Fitz saw Mary tense at the talk of a ball. He reached for her hand, gently squeezing her fingers.

  Elizabeth smiled, “So we are to go to a ball tonight? Is that what you are trying to tell me?”

  “Only if you wish it?”

  “I see no reason not to go. As you say, I will need to be introduced, and that is why we have come back to Town instead of staying at Pemberley, so I see no need to put off the inevitable.” She smirked at her husband, “I only hope to fill my dance card adequately as I dearly love the exercise.”

  Darcy stood and bowed to her, “Madam, may I take this opportunity to ask for your first set?”

  “Why, of course, sir,” she teased as he kissed the back of her hand.

  “And your supper set as well?”

  She giggled, “Yes, of course.”

  He leaned cl
oser as he whispered, “I dare not ask for your last set, but perhaps when we return...” he did not finish as he once again drew her hand to his lips, this time for a slower, more intimate exchange.

  Fitz turned to Mary, giving the other couple a moment of privacy. “You need not be worried—I will stay by your side the entire evening.”

  “You know you will have to dance at least once,” she replied.

  “Not at all; unless it is with you?”

  Mary blushed, remembering the note he sent her many months ago before he escorted her to her first ball. He had said that his dearest wish was to dance with her, but not being able to hear the music made such an activity nearly impossible for Mary. “Perhaps one day, but not with so many others around to witness my clumsy attempts,” she answered.

  He smiled, “I will one day have my dearest wish fulfilled, of that I am certain. Until then, I can wait with the promise of it being satisfied sometime in the future.”

  Elizabeth stood and reached for Mary’s hand, “Come,” she said, “we have great deal to accomplish if we are to be presented on the arms of these fine gentlemen tonight.” The sisters walked out of the room and up to their rooms.

  “My wife is the most gracious lady I have ever known,” Darcy said in complete admiration as he watched his wife walk away.

  “Yes, she is quite the catch,” Fitz smirked. “I will be forever thankful she caught your eye, as it allowed me to find my heart’s desire as well.”

  It was clear from the moment they stepped out of Darcy House that they were back in London. Mary could feel her chest tighten with the familiar fog that eerily hung over the city as she was handed into the carriage. Though she did not wish to ruin everyone’s evening, she was not feeling her best.

  She could just make out the face of her intended across from her with the small tendrils of light from the carriage lamps. His eyes bore into hers with an intensity that made her blush. She turned to gaze out at the city that unfolded around them. Though the sights they passed were not those of Brunswick Square, where her relations had lived for the last few years, there was still a basic familiarity in the streets and people she viewed through the window. London, truly, was an interesting and diverse city.