Just to Hear 'I Love You': An Alternate Tale of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice'

by Sarah Johnson

  “Yes, he knew of a couple, which is why he sent me this direction. One is just five miles down the road from here—Buckley Hall.”

  “Hmm, I had not heard it was to be sold.”

  “It is not officially on the market yet. The owner was visiting Darcy last week and mentioned his intention to sell. It is not a holding he is bound to keep as it came into his hands from his first wife. She died long ago, and they never had children, so it has just sat there for many years now. He visits only a few weeks of the year, but his wife and children do not join him.”

  “So your prior knowledge might give you the advantage.”

  “That is what Darcy was hoping. I am to meet with the solicitor and owner tomorrow morning. I must say, I was hoping to stay here for the night, if it is not a problem?”

  Fitz could not see a way to deny Bingley’s request without raising suspicion, so he replied, “Of course you are welcome. I just need to speak with my wife and have a room prepared.”

  “If you do not mind, I would like to stroll through the garden and take a look at this wonderful estate.”

  “Yes, of course; right this way.”

  Fitz showed him out, then went to find his wife, who was easily located in the sitting room. He told her of Bingley’s visit, apologizing for any burden it would put on her, but she assured him it would not be a problem.

  Bingley was happily walking along the garden path, whistling a tune, when he saw a tree branch on the other side of a tall stone wall move. He thought it was just the gardener, but when he heard a feminine voice say, “Oh, why must you cause me such grief?” his interest was piqued. The wall was too high to see over, so he called out, “May I be of assistance?”

  The tree’s movements ceased.

  “Madam? I am sorry to have startled you, but I heard you say something is causing you grief. Do you need help?”

  Maria sighed loudly. There was no way to avoid whoever this was. “My bonnet is caught on a tree branch, and I cannot seem to get this knot undone to remove it from my head.”

  Bingley was just tall enough to get his hands in a good position to pull himself up onto the wall. From a sitting position on top, he was able to reach out and grasp the tree branch, though he could not remove the hat from its hold. He looked through the limbs to the young lady below, “How did you get yourself in such a situation, madam?”

  “Well,” she tried to look up at him, but the bonnet would not allow her to do so, “I was trying to reach a flower, and somehow my bonnet became caught in the tree.”

  “Oh? Which flower was that?”

  She pointed to a vine that grew up the side of the wall, “Right there beside you—the honeysuckle. It looked so lovely growing in such a stark and lonely place there on the wall,” she said in a wistful tone.

  Bingley looked down to the vine within his reach. “Yes, it is quite breathtaking.” Plucking one of the small white flowers he reached through the branches to the young lady below him, “For you, madam.”

  Maria felt her cheeks flush and reached to take the tiny flower from him. “Thank you, sir.”

  He tried once again to get the hat, but it was in vain. “I fear it is hopeless. Perhaps it would be best if I climb down there and try to untie your bonnet instead.”

  “Oh no! I could not ask you to do that, sir. Why, there are brambles all around under this tree, and you would surely catch yourself on them.” When he reached through the tree branches instead, she sighed in relief. The last thing she wanted was to be seen in her condition by such an amiable gentleman.

  Bingley reached through the branches that held her bonnet captive, and to the ribbons tied next to her left ear. She was right; it was quite the knot. His own attempts to untie it only resulted in her sucking in her breath in pain from it tightening. “I am sorry.”

  “You do not happen to have a pen knife, do you?”

  “I do actually,” he said. “I was traveling today and thought it might come in handy, but my trunks were already fastened, so I stuck it in my pocket.” He pulled the forgotten item from his jacket pocket and unsheathed it. “Now please hold very still—I do not wish to injure you.” He worked the blade slowly under the ribbon, very close to her ear, slicing ever so gently into the ribbon until finally she was free.

  When she felt the release as the tie was cut, she took a deep breath. “Thank you, sir. I am forever in your debt.”

  Bingley sheathed the knife and put it back in his pocket, then turned back to look through the branches of the tree to the young lady beneath. Her red hair was very familiar. “Have we met before?”

  “I doubt it. I am not from here.”

  “Oh? Then what brings you to my friend’s garden?”

  She quickly reached for her bonnet, ripping it from the branch as she turned to leave. “I thank you, sir.”

  Before he could say anything else, she was gone. He shook his head, chuckling at the peculiarity of the situation. I know her from somewhere, but where could it be?

  Seeing the vine trailing up the wall, he plucked one of the buds and brought it to his nose. The honeysuckle smelled just as lovely as it looked. He climbed down from his perch on the wall and continued on his walk with a newfound energy.

  That evening at dinner he brought up what happened to his hosts, but they did not offer an explanation of who the young lady was. The next day he left for his meeting, hoping he would run into her again, but he did not.

  It was late that evening when Bingley returned, and, the household not expecting him, Maria was dining with Fitz and Mary. When Fitz heard his friend speaking with the housekeeper, he quickly excused himself from the ladies, saying he would see Mr Bingley in his study. He slipped out into the hall and thought he had closed the door in time, but when they were in his study, Bingley’s words made him realize he was mistaken.

  “I believe I asked you just yesterday about the young lady with red hair whom I met in your garden, and your answer was to avoid the subject. Now I see her once again, eating at your table no less, so you cannot deny the acquaintance.”

  Even though the words were spoken in a jovial manner, it was the harshest tone Fitz could ever imagine Bingley using. He knew they were caught. He sighed heavily and replied, “She is a guest in our home.”

  “Why not tell me that when I asked before?”

  “I know you want to know with the purest of intentions, but you must understand that I simply am not at liberty to discuss Miss Lucas’ situation.”

  Suddenly he realized where he had seen that red hair before. “Miss Lucas? From Meryton?”

  Fitz realized his mistake, again all too late. Frustrated with himself, he spun around and poured himself a drink, swallowing the burning liquid in one gulp.

  Bingley came up beside him, patting him on the shoulder, “Just what have you gotten yourself involved in here, my friend? Is it truly so bad that you cannot tell me?”

  “No, Bingley, I cannot tell you.” Fitz still had his back to the room and he did not realize Bingley had left until he heard the door down the hall open up and his friend give a greeting to the ladies. He rushed from the room and entered the dining room just after him.

  “Miss Lucas! I knew I recognized you yesterday, but I could not remember where we had met. It is a pleasure to see you again, and here in my friend’s home.”

  Maria looked to Mary, then to Fitz, not knowing what to do. Tears welled in her eyes and she stood and bolted from the room.

  Fitz closed the door quickly and turned to Bingley, “You must leave her be. She is in no condition to see others like this, and as you can tell, she is quite emotional.”

  It took a few seconds, but Bingley realize that the girl who ran from this room was with child. He did not see it yesterday, as she was mostly hidden from his view by the tree branches, but it was clear today that she was expecting. “She was sent here to be hidden away by her family.”

  “In a way; her father would never agree to such a scheme, but she had nowhere to go and Mrs Colli
ns wrote to Mrs Darcy...”

  He understood now. “I am truly sorry if I have upset her. Please offer my apologies.”

  Mary nodded at his request and excused herself to check on Maria, leaving the two gentlemen alone. She went upstairs and knocked on the girl’s door. When the maid let her in, she dismissed her and went to sit next to the distraught girl. She embraced her and the two sat as such for a while.

  When she had finally calmed, Maria let go and signed, “I am sorry for bringing such shame to your home.”

  “Oh, no, my dear, it is Mr Bingley who offers his most sincere regrets. He only wished to continue the acquaintance and did not realize it would upset you.”

  She lifted the handkerchief to dry her eyes and smiled a little when she said, “He is a most amiable gentleman. I cannot place the blame on him. He came upon me yesterday when I was in the garden and my bonnet became stuck in a tree. He helped free me, and then before he could offer a proper greeting, I ran off.” She reached over to the nightstand and picked up the honeysuckle flower he had given her, fingering the drying petals. “If only I had not...”

  Mary reached for her hand, squeezing the shaking fingers with her own, “You are not the first to make such a mistake. I know it is difficult to not know what the future will bring, but look around you. We will not turn our backs on you. Whatever comes will come, but we will stay right here beside you.”

  “Why? Why do you do this for me after all my father has said and done to you?”

  “I have always found my strength comes in knowing what God would have me do, and doing it. One of my favorite passages in the Good Book is found in Luke chapter 6.

  ‘But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.’”

  Mary looked directly in the younger girl’s teary eyes when she said, “I am doing just as it says—blessing your father who has cursed me. Treating you as I myself would wish to be treated. I will not hold you in judgment or condemnation, for it is not my place to do so. It is my place to love you and to show you mercy.

  Maria wiped the tears that ran down her cheeks. “Thank you. It is through you that I have learned what compassion truly is.”

  “I am not the only one who cares for you—we all do.”

  “Yes, I know, but you and your family are a rarity in our society. I know I will have to be hidden away from everyone for a long time. It is the punishment I must bear.”

  “Only if you wish it.” Mary saw Maria look back down to the flower still lying in her palm. “If it means anything to you, I would trust Mr Bingley with the knowledge of your situation. He will not tell anyone.”

  “Are you certain?”

  “Yes. Every family has their secrets, and Mr Bingley has been privy to a few in my husband’s family that could have brought ruin to them all, and yet he has honoured their friendship above all else,” Mary explained.

  Maria blushed, “He is a good man.”

  Mary smiled, “Yes he is.” She then stood to leave.

  “Will you please give him a message for me?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  She reached out and placed the flower in Mary’s hand. “Tell him I am sorry to have run away from him—twice now—and if he wishes to make my acquaintance again tomorrow, I will await him in the garden.”

  She smiled at the spark in the girl’s eye. “I will tell him. Now you rest.”

  Mary returned downstairs and found the gentlemen in the sitting room. As soon as she entered the room, Mr Bingley rose and asked after Miss Lucas.

  “She is well,” she signed, letting her husband translate for her. “She said to tell you she is sorry to have not given you the opportunity to greet her properly.” She then offered the small white flower to him. “If you still wish to make her acquaintance after seeing what condition she is in, she will await you in the garden tomorrow.”

  He reached out for the gift and smiled, grateful for the chance to apologize in person, “Yes, thank you. I will do that.”

  “Mr Bingley, I only ask one thing of you—do not raise her expectations. She is young and has had her heart broken by both her beau and her family. She has a harsh life to look forward to if she chooses to keep her child, and an even harder one if she chooses to give the babe away. It is a decision she is not making lightly, and I do not wish to see her hurt again.”

  He fingered the delicate petals, “I promise to keep your reproach in mind. It has been many months since we were last in company, and I only wish to offer my friendship.”

  “If it ever becomes more than that, please remember all she has been through.”

  “I will. Now, if you do not mind, I will retire.”

  Fitz watched as Bingley walked from the room. When the door was closed, he went over to his wife, putting his arms around her expanding waist and drawing her closer. “You are very protective of Miss Lucas. I must say, it is a quality I find quite charming and one I expect to see on display more often when our own child is born.” She smiled, her eyebrow arching in a particular manner he had learned to always question. “What is it?”

  She spoke softly, “Honeysuckle—its meaning is ‘generous and devoted affection’.”

  He smiled, “Do you think those two...”

  “Perhaps, but we will leave that for them to work out.” She leaned up on her toes to place a simple kiss on his chin before she laid her head against his chest, enjoying the slight beat of his heart she could feel against her cheek.

  Finally Fitz pulled back, “Come, it is time we retire as well.”

  Bingley was to meet with the owner of Buckley Hall again in a week. He offered to go to a nearby inn, but Fitz and Mary insisted he stay with them. He and Miss Lucas met in the garden and he apologized for all he had done, but when his excuse was simply that he wished to renew the acquaintance she could easily forgive his eagerness.

  Over the coming week they were often found in each other’s company, usually in the garden. Fitz had to laugh at the sight of them. Miss Lucas was the only young lady he had ever met who could talk just as much as Bingley, and amazingly enough, they both enjoyed the constant chatter.

  When it came time for the meeting, Bingley left. It was not two hours later when Darcy arrived, surprising Fitz. When they were alone, Darcy pulled a letter from his pocket and gave it to Fitz, watching the reaction as his cousin read it.

  “He cannot think he will get away with this,” Fitz threw the note into the table and stomped across the room.

  “Of course he will get away with it. What proof have we to offer other than the word of a young lady not even of age and in such a condition? Even this letter is not specific enough to force his hand in the matter. I will not offer my sister’s own reputation to bring him around.” He sighed heavily. “He will not marry without being paid off, and her family can hard
ly put together such an amount as he desires.”

  “No, you are right; it is quite the number.”

  Darcy sat down in the chair, “Has she decided what she will do with the child?”

  “No, not yet. She is a confused young girl and should never have to make such a decision as this.”

  “I can only be grateful it was not Georgiana. She was in the hands of that rogue, and we were lucky to not have the same consequences thrust upon her.”

  “Yes, well, in that I cannot but agree. I would have given anything to keep Wickham from marrying Georgiana, and here we sit enraged at his refusal to marry Miss Lucas. Perhaps this is a blessing instead.”

  “Perhaps it is.”

  “How is Georgiana? Has she behaved since returning from your aunt’s?”

  He accepted the tea his cousin poured, saying, “She has decided she likes the office of an aunt and has taken it upon herself to teach Rose all she knows of Pemberley House and its history. She is beginning to warm to Elizabeth more, and they have a few cheery conversations a week without issue. I think she prefers to be at Pemberley and knows now that I will send her to live with Aunt Edith permanently if it ever becomes necessary.”

  “That is good, though I would like her to be back to her old self. Still, it is progress.”

  “Mrs Annesley still thinks it would do her good to meet Miss Lucas, but I cannot bring myself to agree with such a plan. I do not want someone else to be hurt because of my sister’s schemes, and who is to say she will not say something about Miss Lucas in retaliation, just as she orchestrated for Mary last year?”

  Fitz sipped his tea. “Hmmm... at first I thought she was not ready for such an action, but now I actually agree with Mrs Annesley. I have a feeling it is the connection to Wickham that has kept Georgiana going so long in this direction, but if she sees the results of such a decision, and is made aware that Wickham is the father of Miss Lucas’ child and yet still he refuses to do the right thing and marry her, it is possible she will begin to change.