Keeper of the Stars

by Robin Lee Hatcher

  Why didn’t she also admit that Trevor Reynolds wasn’t the bad, reckless, horrid, selfish so-and-so she’d made of him in her mind, both before and after her brother’s death? Why didn’t she admit that he was kind and thoughtful around her, even when she was thoroughly disagreeable? Why didn’t she admit that she was beginning to like him?

  Like him?

  “I’ll go feed the cows now,” he said. “Care to come along?”

  She didn’t answer. Do I like him?

  “Penny?” His eyes seemed to look beyond her expression and right into her heart.

  She turned away, lest he see her feelings. Feelings that she couldn’t yet reconcile. “Okay. That’s a good idea. Let’s get them fed.” She went to the entrance of the living room. “Dad, Trevor and I are going to feed the stock. I told Mrs. Reynolds to take her time settling in. Not sure how long it will be until she comes down.”

  Her dad nodded in response. “No worries. I’ll just wait here until she does.”

  A short while later, bundled against the cold, Penny and Trevor headed for the far side of the barn, where they loaded bales of hay onto the flatbed truck. They worked in silence, but it was a comfortable one. She expected to be surprised by that realization, but was surprised instead because she wasn’t surprised. She smiled at the silliness of that thought.

  After completing the feeding, Penny drove the truck back to its covered parking area beside the barn. When she got out of the cab, she heard Harmony’s nicker and looked toward the pasture where they kept their horses. The mare bobbed her head and nickered again.

  “I haven’t got anything for you,” Penny called to the horse as she walked in that direction.

  Two more horses strode through the packed snow toward the fence and an anticipated treat of some kind.

  “I should have brought carrots.” Penny stroked Harmony’s head. “Sorry about that. Next time.”

  “I could go get some if you want me to,” Trevor offered from a few feet behind her.

  She glanced over her shoulder. “No. It’s okay. They’ll survive.”

  “Every time I come out here, I think how nice it would be to own a horse again. I may have to give in to it when the snow starts to melt.”

  Her heart fluttered, an oddly disturbing sensation. “You’re planning to stay that long?”

  He closed the distance to stand at the fence, not far from her. “Would you mind so much if I did stay?”

  He’d misunderstood her question. She hadn’t meant she would mind if he stayed long enough to buy a horse, to still be here when the snow was gone. But was it any wonder he’d misunderstood, after the way she’d treated him so much of the time? But trying to explain, even trying to understand her own feelings, seemed beyond her ability at the moment. Finally, she shrugged, then turned and, holding the mare’s muzzle between her hands, pressed her forehead to Harmony’s forehead.

  Trevor stood there, watching Penny and her horse. He’d love to be an artist or a photographer. He’d love to capture with paint or with film what he saw in Penny’s expression right now—her vulnerability, her huge capacity to love.

  When Trevor had first arrived in Kings Meadow, his feelings for Penny had been heavily influenced by the stories Brad had told about his sister. But over the past three weeks he’d learned to see her with his own eyes. And he realized now how very much he’d like her to be able to see him the same way, to know and understand him. Could that ever happen? Or would Brad’s death always be a barrier between them?

  Penny patted the mare’s neck again before drawing back. “We’d better go inside. We don’t want your mother to feel like you’ve abandoned her.”

  “Your dad would never let that happen.”

  “You’re right.” She smiled tenderly. “He wouldn’t.”

  They turned in unison and started toward the house.

  Sticking his fingertips into the back pockets of his jeans, Trevor cleared his throat. “You know, it might help to know what the plans are while Mom’s here. I never have gotten much of an answer from your dad.”

  “It’s simple, Trevor. Dad expects you both—you and your mom—to be part of our Christmas. All of our Christmas. That doesn’t mean just Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. It means everything. Going caroling. Enjoying the annual sleigh ride. Taking communion at church on Christmas Eve, followed by classic Christmas movies at home. Opening gifts on Christmas morning and then dinner with family and friends. Everything.”

  “Wow. I should have realized. I never meant to impose. I thought—”

  Penny stopped walking, at the same time touching his arm so that he stopped too. “Don’t misunderstand me, Trevor. Dad is happier than I’ve seen him since . . . since Brad died. He’s loved preparing for your mom’s visit. Thinking of ways to entertain her. And you. We weren’t going to have Christmas dinner at our house this year, but now we are. And you two aren’t our only guests. Dad’s invited others to join us. I can see how much pleasure that’s brought him, too, planning it all.” She tipped her head to one side as she looked up at him. Her expression was sad and yet not sad. “I’ve been trying so hard to protect him from any more pain. Both physical and emotional. Perhaps I went overboard.”

  He refrained from shaking his head, sensing that she was working things through in her mind and didn’t need his agreement or argument.

  A slight smile curved the corners of her mouth. “No. Not perhaps. I have gone overboard. Dad’s told me so more than once. I just haven’t wanted to believe him.” Her smile broadened a little. “I’m really glad you and your mom will be celebrating Christmas with us.”

  Her last words could have been little more than politeness, if not for the smile that included him. Something had changed between them today. Without fanfare. Without a lengthy conversation. Without any effort. They had turned a corner for the better. For real this time. What that meant for tomorrow, he couldn’t be sure, but he was learning to trust God to take care of the future.

  Penny tipped her head toward the house. “Come on. Let’s go find out what’s next on the agenda.”

  Caroling . . . sleigh ride . . . communion . . . Trevor had never looked forward to Christmas until now. Mostly because Penny Cartwright would be a part of it all.

  Chapter 12

  EVERY YEAR, IN THE DAYS LEADING UP TO CHRISTMAS, Rodney looked forward to caroling with other members of the Kings Meadow Methodist Church. And although he never would have pressured their houseguest to participate, he was delighted when Dot Reynolds agreed to join him and the others for this year’s Monday evening event.

  As the carolers congregated in the fellowship hall of the Methodist church, Rodney escorted Dot from one small cluster of people to another, making introductions. More than one person made a point of saying how much they liked her son, and each time it happened her face glowed with a mother’s pride. In his opinion, she had cause to be proud of Trevor, if for no other reason than his generous spirit.

  Glancing across the fellowship hall to where Trevor stood talking with a few others, Rodney said a quick prayer of thanks for the young man. He hadn’t realized what a difference it would make in how he felt, having the extra help that Trevor now provided daily. Help that Penny couldn’t always give. Or maybe he’d realized it and simply refused to accept it. Even he had to admit that stubbornness was one of his less admirable qualities. His orthopedist had suggested it might be time to give up ranching altogether. Either that or hire full-time help so that Rodney didn’t have to do any of the heavy manual labor that a cow-calf operation required. But he couldn’t bear the thought of the first and couldn’t afford the second. Not as things were right now.

  As he looked in Trevor’s direction, Rodney saw Penny enter through a nearby doorway. This was one of two nights a week that she worked until the library closed. He was glad she’d been able to get away in time to join in the fun.

  The thought of Penny having fun this Christmas season was another reason to be thankful. Only a few short weeks ago,
he wouldn’t have thought that possible, despite her efforts to hide the truth from him. But he’d witnessed something ease inside of her in recent days. An answer to prayer.

  Penny found him with her gaze, smiled, and waved. Then she started across the room in Rodney’s direction.

  At the same moment, the choir director, Hillary Mitchell—a statuesque woman in her early fifties with a no-nonsense attitude and, as everyone knew, perfect pitch—appeared on the small stage at the far end of the hall. “All right, everyone. Settle down. Settle down.” She motioned downward with the palms of both hands. When conversations finally ceased, she said, “We’ll be under way in about fifteen minutes. When the time comes, you will receive a flyer on your way out with all of the songs we will be singing tonight and the order in which they will be sung. Our route will be unchanged from the last few years. If you are new to us, don’t worry. Just stick with the crowd. There will be coffee and hot chocolate awaiting us when we return.”

  Penny reached Rodney’s side and slipped her arm through his. “I made it just in time. This is going to be fun.”

  Her comment confirmed his earlier thoughts, and that caused more thanksgiving to well up in his heart. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,” he quoted silently, “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction.” Amen.

  “Didn’t Trevor come?” she asked, her gaze shifting from him to Dot and back again.

  Perhaps that question revealed the biggest change of all, Rodney thought as he held back a smile.

  Dot answered, “He’s here somewhere. Talking to friends.”

  Tess’s gaze swept around the small group standing in a corner of the fellowship hall. “Why don’t you all plan to come back to my parents’ house when the caroling is over?” Her eyes settled on Trevor and seemed to hold a special invitation just for him.

  It wasn’t as if he hadn’t known from the day they first met that she was interested in him. He’d even enjoyed her company when they’d been together. It had been easy to go along whenever she’d invited him. But this time? It felt all wrong.

  “Trevor?” She slipped her arm through his. “What do you think?”

  “I don’t know. I—”

  She leaned a little closer and lowered her voice. “You can’t say no.”

  In that moment, he knew she wanted more than he could give in return. It wasn’t the right time or place. And she’s not the right girl. He looked away, over the heads of the crowd, looking—

  “Trevor?”

  “Sorry, Tess.” As gently as possible, he removed his arm from her grasp. “I’ll be going back to the Cartwright ranch with my mom when this is over.”

  Disappointment flittered across her face, and he was sorry to be the cause. It had been unfair of him to accept her other invitations. Not so much the game night party, with so many in attendance, but definitely meeting her for coffee at The Friendly Bean the previous week. Not once but twice.

  Truth was he’d always been reckless with the feelings of others. Especially the women he’d known. But he was changing. God was changing him. And he was going to have to be honest with Tess. He was going to have to let her know that he wasn’t interested in anything more than a casual friendship. No dates. No future plans. At least not with her.

  He glanced across the fellowship hall again.

  “If you’re looking for Penny—” Tess pointed. “She’s over there with her dad.”

  Surprised, his gaze flew back to Tess. Had he been looking for Penny?

  With a slight tip of her head, Tess gave him a knowing look. A look that said she understood something he hadn’t discovered yet.

  Penny Cartwright? No. He wasn’t interested in her. Not in that way.

  Was he?

  Hillary Mitchell returned to the stage and announced it was time to get started. Everyone began filing out of the fellowship hall, but before Penny, her dad, and Dot Reynolds had taken more than a few steps, Trevor arrived to take his place next to his mom.

  And Penny couldn’t help it—she felt a leap of pleasure at the sight of him. At the sight of him alone. She hated to admit it, but when she’d seen him talking to Tess, she’d been afraid Tess would join them. And, if she was honest with herself, she hadn’t wanted that.

  She frowned, bothered by her awareness of Tess’s attraction to Trevor. It wasn’t as if it was a new awareness. It had been obvious ever since the day Tess first saw him at the bazaar in this very same hall.

  Her dad leaned close. “Is something troubling you?”

  She gave her head a small shake, hoping to chase away her thoughts even as she answered, “No. Nothing.” She forced a smile as she looked up at him. “It’s a beautiful night for caroling.”

  “That’s what I thought when Dot and I drove into town.”

  “What did the two of you do all day?”

  “Not much. She and I sat and visited over coffee for a long time this morning. Trevor came over after getting off work at noon. When he and I were done feeding, he took his mom into town to do some shopping. And the three of us had a quick bite of supper before coming to the church. Did you have time to eat something?”

  She nodded, not bothering to tell him it was the other half of the sandwich she’d had for lunch.

  Outside, the inky night sky sparkled with stars, like diamonds on a jeweler’s velvet display cloth. The air was cold, and snow crunched beneath their feet as they made their way to Main Street. The instant Hillary Mitchell, walking at the front of the procession, saw the first Christmas shoppers, she stopped. In moments, the group had formed a half circle, three rows deep, and begun to sing “Joy to the World!”

  Penny felt a twinge of sorrow, remembering that last Christmas Brad had stood between her and their father as they’d sung this same song in this same location. But then her thoughts were pulled to the present by a voice she hadn’t heard before. A male voice, not overly loud but strong. Rich timbre. Smooth, with just a hint of a Western twang. She guessed who it was, of course, but turned her head to confirm it. Yes, it was Trevor, and she found herself leaning ever so slightly toward him, trying to hear even better. She envisioned her brother, his arm around her shoulders, whispering in her ear, “See, didn’t I tell you he’s great?” Tears welled in her eyes. Her throat closed, stopping the words of the song from escaping. Thankful for the darkness, she tugged on her knit hat, pulling it lower on her forehead.

  As the last strains of the carol drifted upward on the cold night air, Trevor looked in her direction. When their gazes met, he smiled at her. But then he must have seen her sorrow, perhaps even guessed why it was there. His smile faded. She was sorry to see it go. Sorry to be the cause of it going.

  Their audience applauded, and Hillary motioned for the band of carolers to follow her farther down the street, looking for more shoppers to serenade. All around Penny, her friends and neighbors talked with one another, their voices merry, befitting the evening and the season. Her heart lifted a little.

  “Are you okay?” Trevor asked.

  She wasn’t sure how it had happened, but Dot and her father were now walking side by side and Trevor was next to her.

  “Penny?”

  “I’m fine. I was just . . . just . . .” Her words trailed away.

  “Thinking of Brad,” he finished for her, barely loud enough for her to hear.

  She nodded.

  “He told me about this tradition.”

  “He did?” It seemed an odd thing for two guys to talk about.

  “Yeah. When you’re in a band that tours, there’s lots of downtime, lots of hours in a car or a bus or a van. Talking helps stave off boredom. Brad liked to talk about Kings Meadow and his family.”

  She knew that already, but still she said, “He did?”

  “He did. I felt like I knew you and your dad long before I got to meet you.”

  She drew in a shuddery breath. “I was so angry at him when he left.”

  “Yeah.”


  “I said things I shouldn’t have said.”

  “He didn’t blame you, Penny. He understood why you were upset. Really, he did.”

  “Don’t be an idiot, Brad. You’re throwing your life away. All that schooling. All that money to pay for your education.”

  “I have to do it. It’s what I’m supposed to do, Penny.”

  “You spoiled, selfish . . . selfish . . .” She’d floundered for the perfect word to call him, and when it came, it was one that would have gotten her behind tanned if her dad had heard.

  Brad had stared at her in stunned silence for a long while, and when he spoke at last, all he said was her name. “Pen.”

  “You’re never going to amount to anything. Not anything.”

  She heard the slamming door to her bedroom as clearly now as the day she’d screamed those words. “I was so hateful to him. I wish I could tell him I’m sorry. All of those months . . . I never told him I was sorry.”

  “He knew. He loved you.”

  Silent tears tracked down her cheeks. Tears that she’d worked so hard to keep in check. There was no stopping them now.

  “Come on.” Trevor took her by the arm and gently led her through the group of carolers, not stopping until they were away from lampposts wrapped with twinkling Christmas lights and bright storefronts that invited shoppers to come in from the cold. Not stopping until they were alone in their own little patch of darkness. “It’s okay to cry, you know.”

  He couldn’t have known how wrong he was. It wasn’t okay to cry, because there was a reservoir full of unshed tears just waiting for the dam to burst. A sob escaped her, then another. She covered her face with her mittens and sobbed again. And again. And again.

  Slowly, tenderly, he wrapped her in his arms, her hands and face pressed against his chest. She hadn’t the strength to resist, even if she’d wanted to. His kindness no longer surprised her. He patted her back with one hand and murmured soothing sounds near her ear. There was no reason she should be comforted—and yet she was. The broken sobs began to subside, although the tears continued to flow for a while.