Trap

by Mary E. Twomey

  “It’s barely even snowing outside.”

  “But if it hails, you’ll thank me. If I haven’t told you before, you look incredible.” Allie lifted me to stand, checking my makeup and unbuttoning Ollie’s flannel I’d worn over my dress to keep from spilling anything on the pure white. I stood, my bare feet digging into the rug of the quaint church’s bridal room.

  I still couldn’t believe I was actually inside of the church. Our friends were all out in the pews, patiently waiting for hell to freeze over. My heart thudded at the thought that Ezra was standing at the front of the church, clutching a Bible and readying himself to marry us. The thumping organ in my chest nearly stopped when I pictured Von waiting with Levi and Mason at the altar for me.

  Me.

  The backs of my hands burned to be scratched, but I glued them in place. My stomach was in knots, and the nape of my neck was starting to sweat.

  I don’t know why they kept the thermostat turned up so high in here. And all those people out there, did they really need to be here? I mean, I could think of at least thirty better things to do with a Sunday afternoon than spend it watching me trip down the aisle.

  Tripping. I cringed as I pictured my foot catching on my way down the aisle. Von would be perfect, and I would be the kid who couldn’t walk in a straight line.

  I scratched the back of my hand to alleviate a little of my building anxiety. Allie put her fingers on mine to calm me, knowing exactly how to be the mama I needed in that moment.

  In the four months since Allie had woken, a lot had changed. No one was trying to kill me anymore, which was a totally new concept. The new ruler of Lumipad had actually done his job and cleaned house, locking up Sama’s sympathizers. Lang had taken over his family’s throne, and Sakuna had never known such prosperity. Lang had actually taken the day off for my wedding. He’d already poked his head in with Ruiz and Klark to send me their best wishes. They’d showered the mud off them, and even wore suits that Ezra had selected. I barely recognized them without the thick coating of mud.

  “What’s the holdup in here?” Danny’s voice was stern, and despite what was supposed to be a grand occasion, he remained ever his surly self. “People are starting to get restless. Mason sent me back here to make sure you hadn’t bolted on Von.” He jabbed his finger in accusation. “That’s not what’s happening, is it?”

  “Sheesh, a girl needs an extra few minutes to primp, and suddenly she’s a flight risk. Back off, Danny.”

  Danny narrowed his eyes at me, taking in my unsteady breathing and the panic in my eyes I’d never been able to hide from him. He shut the door behind him and cleared the gap between us, his voice low. “You need to calm down.”

  “I am calm!” I yelled, disproving my point.

  “Clearly. You said you didn’t want pulling, but you’re never going to make it through the ceremony without it.” He raised his hand to touch my arm, but I batted it away.

  “No. I told you all, no one’s pulling for Von or me today. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it in our right minds.”

  Danny’s eyes flickered, and for a second, he looked like a little boy who’d lost his mama in the park. “But it’s my job.”

  “Oh, Danny. I’m here, hun. You can pull for me first thing after the reception, okay?”

  “Promise?”

  “My very best promise.”

  He nodded, fingering the doorknob as he cast me a parting glance. “You look, you know, like a bride.”

  I guess that’s a compliment. “Thanks, Danny. You, too.” I leaned up and planted a kiss to his cheek, earning a sliver of a smile before he remembered he was pissed at me for making everyone wait.

  “Hurry it up in here. We don’t have all day,” he said, and then exited with a bang of the door.

  Danny’s changes had been slow, but steady. He was in therapy three days a week, and was actually starting to take ownership of his daughter, pitching in and not checking out quite as much. He kind of sucked at changing diapers, but part of me thought it might be because that was the least awesome part of the parenting job so far. Danny slept in my arms two nights a week, when Mason went back to Sombi to do his zombie-slaying thing. It was rough hearing Danny stifle his cries through the night, but I held him tight through the agony I feared might never fully go away.

  “You’re scratching your hands, sweetie,” she informed me gently.

  “Oh, sorry. Can we open a window or something? It’s too hot in here.”

  “We could always go into the church, you know,” she hinted. “I think it’s about time.”

  I shook my head too quickly. “Not yet. I, um, I just need a few minutes.”

  She held up her hands in surrender, leaving the pushing to Danny. “Whatever you say, babe. You sure you don’t want me to get one of the guys in here to pull for you?”

  I scratched the back of my neck. “I just need them to turn down the thermostat. No pulling.”

  Allie had worked hard at physical therapy, blooming and coming alive as she learned the ins and outs of Omen duties. Between the two of us, we’d already reaped enough souls for two entire years. Our goal was to reap so many that Anastasia would never have to be awakened. My sister was finding her groove with Graham and Boston, who rose to their posts with surprising grace. Boston stopped being such a jackweed all the time, and had settled into a quieter rhythm of work during the day and hanging out with Danny and Anastasia in the evening. Boston was actually pretty decent at changing diapers. Who knew?

  Things had slowed down for me so much that I didn’t know what to do with all the free time when we took days off. Ollie, Allie and I had done a fair bit of house hunting, but finally decided to move in with Ezra when we realized that if we got a place of our own that would fit all our Reapers and Levi, it would leave Ezra in an empty house. I couldn’t handle leaving Ezra by himself with only Lynna to care for him, so we’d decided to move into the mansion for the time being. The plan after today was supposed to be that Von and I were going to take the house for the first year so we could have a bit of newlywed privacy, with Mason staying with us two weeks out of every month.

  I’d very much looked forward to that privacy. Then Danny had thrown the biggest fit about it, claiming we wouldn’t have enough security with only Von there to guard the place half the month when Mason was in Sombi. His trump card was that Omens live longer with a double pull at night. It was only when we told him he could bring Anastasia and stay one week out of every month that he calmed down. Danny had been my shadow for a while now, unsure what to do with his life if it didn’t revolve around pulling. He was anxious when I left the mansion for too long. I wasn’t sure how he was going to handle Von and me going away on our honeymoon. I was anticipating a lot of phone calls.

  My hands were clammy as Allie placed the bouquet of long-stemmed flowers in them. I worried I would drop the white lilies that were wrapped in their blue bow. Von had planned everything with Ollie and Allie, knowing I would cut and run, or insist on City Hall if I was given too many details to ponder. I blew out a breath of fear and tried to center myself, picturing Bruce Campbell urging me on so I wouldn’t chicken out. My liberal use of my favorite superhero had taken a departure from his original role, but whatever. Bruce is so talented, he could play any part I cast him in.

  Allie straightened her cheery yellow cocktail dress, shifting the blue ribbon that wrapped just under her bust so that the pearl buckle was in the center. She was a vision – exactly how I’d pictured her in the satin dress she’d made.

  I felt like a kid playing dress-up in her mother’s clothes. The white gown was gorgeous – simple and elegant, showing off my curves on top and swooping down in dramatic fashion to my feet, with probably too many layers of satin. The luxurious material made me feel like a princess, like a woman, which instantly made me consider taking it off. I wasn’t a princess or even a real woman. I mean, come on. My nickname is ‘kid’. The tiara affixed atop my head mocked me, telling me I was playing pretend wi
th the delicate piece Ezra insisted was tradition for Omens. In the bridal store Gabby and Allie dragged me to, this was the dress I’d chosen. Now that it was on me, my hair done, tiara in place, and the piano playing in the small auditorium that was packed with the council and our friends and family, the dress felt too tight, making it hard to breathe. My hands were clammy, and I worried that all of this was just too adult for me. Marriage was a terrifyingly big deal, and my flight mode tapped me on the shoulder like a forbidden lover.

  Graham poked his head in, his hand over his eyes. “Anyone still changing, or are we good to go? The natives are getting restless.”

  My mouth went dry as the panic set in deep, crawling through my veins and spindling around my spine. “I... Um...”

  “We’re decent, and just about ready.” Allie glanced to Graham over her shoulder, smiling demurely at his dropped open jaw when he opened his eyes and took in her striking beauty. “And you can tell the natives that the bride will be there when she’s good and ready.”

  “You look incredible,” Graham marveled, looking at Allie as he always did – like she was all the suns and all the moons on earth and in Terraway. His eyes flickered to me and his smile fell. “You alright, kid? You look pale.”

  “I need a minute.” I took a step back, spooking when my shoulders hit the wall. “It’s hot in here. Maybe I should take a walk.” My voice choked to a whisper on the last word, which I knew no real live wife would do. A wife would look confident in a dress. She would walk down the aisle instead of running away from it.

  Graham’s eyes widened as he shut himself in the room with us and locked the door. “What’s wrong? Did something happen in the last hour since I dropped off the flowers?”

  “No, I just... I can’t do this! I’m twenty-three! What if I’m too young for this? What if we get married, and Von finds out that I’m a sucky wife? I don’t know how to cook salmon, Graham! I don’t know how to make a decent cocktail. I don’t even know how... I don’t...” My ribs expanded and contracted too violently, and I knew I was on the verge of hyperventilating. “This dress is too tight!”

  Graham and Allie lowered me to the white chair in front of the giant, mocking mirror. The fancy seat was lined in lace. That was a wedding chair that deserved to be here. It looked the part. I knew that no matter how much I dressed myself up, I was still Bait. I was the kid who’d grown up in trash, and no doubt the people in the pews out there would smell it on me the second I walked down the aisle. Allie knelt in front of me, her gentle expression telling me that she wasn’t freaking out, so I didn’t need to. Nothing was all that wrong, or she would be on high alert. “Baby, it’s alright. I can teach you how to cook salmon.”

  Graham stood over us, his arms crossed over his chest as he surveyed my impending freak-out. “And Von knows how to make cocktails, so I wouldn’t worry about that.”

  Allie reached out to hold my hands, but I recoiled. “My hands are dirty!” I shrieked, popping up out of my chair and racing to the bathroom. There wasn’t enough soap in the world as I scrubbed my knuckles, recalling all the people I’d killed, the zombies I’d slaughtered. I didn’t belong in a white dress. I ignored Allie’s fist on the door as she beckoned me to come back out.

  Allie’s voice reached me from the other side of the bathroom door I’d slammed shut. “I thought she was cured from this, Graham. The stone’s gone, so why is her OCD still here?”

  Graham was frustrated as he tried the knob again. “Because she’s panicking, that’s why. It’s learned behavior. I’ll go get Ollie.”

  When Graham returned a minute later with my brother, I was no closer to getting my hands clean. It was all that time I spent not washing my hands while traveling through Terraway. I’d been so cocky, thinking the germs wouldn’t get me.

  I heard them fiddling with the door’s handle, but couldn’t take my hands from the water’s stream to open it. When the door popped open, I jumped. “What’s going on?” Ollie asked, placing the bobby pin he’d used to pick the lock onto the sink.

  “I can’t get married today. Another day maybe, but not today. My hands are dirty.”

  Ollie took in my frazzled state and nodded. “Okay. Mine too. Move over.”

  “What? No. Get your own sink. I was here first.”

  “I need to wash my hands. They’re dirty.”

  “Your hands don’t matter in this equation. You’re not the one in the white dress. You don’t have to be the perfect wife.”

  “Neither do you. Life isn’t about being the perfect anything.” He cast around the small bathroom and picked up the brown eye liner Allie had left on the counter. “See, even with this, I can still walk you down the aisle.” He opened up his tuxedo jacket and drew a line with the pencil from his left breast to the waist of his crisp, white shirt.

  I gasped, scandalized. “Ollie, why’d you do that? Now I really can’t get married today! Get it off!”

  “Do you want me to go home and miss your wedding?”

  “Of course not, but you can’t...”

  “So you want me to stay, even though I’m not perfect?”

  “I just... And you...” I stomped my foot to the floor. “Stop mind-gaming me! You have to change your shirt. We can come back tomorrow and try again. Tomorrow is a much better day for a wedding.” I scratched the nape of my neck, feeling the sweat beading there. “Why is it so hot in here?” I demanded, sounding like a lunatic.

  “I have plans tomorrow.”

  “Oh, you have plans tomorrow? Tell me these all-important plans.”

  “Well, I have to return this tuxedo, for one. Not sure I’ll get my deposit back. Then I have a lot of TV to get through. It’s been a while, and my shows are stacking up.”

  “You’re being a jerk.”

  “You’re being a coward. You said yes to the ring. You said yes to the wedding. Von’s actually been an adult about it, too. He did everything you said you wanted, short of getting Kabayo here. Don’t do this to him. Don’t run out on him. Not like this.”

  My lower lip quivered, and I knew I was about five seconds away from losing it. “Ollie, what happens when I suck at being a wife? What then?”

  Ollie was unperturbed by my question. “Then you learn to be better. You didn’t know how to be a nurse, but you learned. You didn’t know how to be an Omen, but you’re the best one they’ve ever seen. I know you. If you put your mind to something, you conquer. Put your focus into being good for Von. He’s patient. He doesn’t have it all together either, but he’s willing to gamble on you.” Ollie gripped my shoulders and looked me dead in the eye. “I’ll always gamble on you. Every single time, kid. You’ve got this.”

  The germs that had been stuck to my hands started to fade away as Ollie dried them off with a paper towel. I nodded, sucking in my tears and breathing out my anxiety. “You’re sure I won’t blow it?”

  “More than sure. But hey, if you really want to leave, I’ll drive you out of here myself right now.” He bent his knees slightly so he could get in my eye line. “But if I do, we’re not coming back. In or out, kid. It’s your call.”

  I leaned my forehead to Ollie’s chest, centering myself with closed eyes as I considered walking out on the life I knew I didn’t deserve. It was too wonderful, too filled with romance, possibilities and real, actual love. I knew for certain I didn’t deserve it... but I wanted it. I wanted it enough to work hard to be the person who deserved a bliss like that.

  I wanted to wake up next to Von and make pancakes with him on Sundays. I wanted to watch cheesy horror movies and stay up late playing cards and making love with him. I wanted a future, and I knew that I wanted it all with Von.

  Right then I made a vow to myself that I would work to one day be the kind of woman who deserved the gift he’d been to me. He’d been patient with my neurosis and overlooked my glaring flaws that even I couldn’t see past. He loved me, plain and simple.

  I swallowed hard, rolling my shoulders back. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

&nbs
p; Ollie opened the door with a calm smile that told Graham and Allie not to push me, lest I lose my fragile nerve and bolt again. “Everything good to go, then?” Graham asked, treating me with kid gloves I’d well earned with my panic attack.

  I nodded. “Please don’t tell Von. I’m a little more nervous than I thought I’d be.”

  “You don’t say. I’d be nervous too if I was about to get four new older brothers.” He extended his arm to Allie. “Shall we?”

  I waited in the bride room with Ollie after Allie left to walk down the aisle. I could hear the piano wafting in with a delicate rendition of Canon in D. Von had originally suggested I walk down the aisle to I’ll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men, but I had a feeling that was only so Levi would turn purple again. Now that it was just me and Ollie in the room, I twiddled the long-stemmed lilies at my side, still feeling like a child in a woman’s dress. “Hey Ollie?”

  “Yeah, kid?”

  “This next phase of life’s gotta be easier than the last one, right?”

  “I don’t know. None of the zombies we invited RSVP’d, so I’d say we’re off to a decent start.” He straightened his tie and buttoned up his tuxedo jacket. He pulled out a thin box from the inside pocket and handed it to me. “Fair warning, Judge insisted you wear this. Allie picked it out, but he paid for it. Said it was bad luck if you didn’t have your something old, something new, something stolen and something blue.”

  My hand flew to my forehead. “I don’t have any of those things! I’m screwing this up already! See? I knew I would suck at this!”

  He lifted my bouquet, tapping the ribbon. “Something blue.” Then he motioned to the box from Judge. I knew it would have a piece of jewelry that would be too extravagant for me to keep. “Something new. Levi can be your something old. He’s like, over a hundred or something.” Ollie searched his pockets for something borrowed, pausing when a smile came over his face. “I’ve got just the thing.” He reached under his sleeve and pulled off the rubber band from Anger Management that had seen him through many a difficult moment. He slid it onto my hand, snapping the rubber as it dangled on my wrist. “Something borrowed. Now you’re the perfect bride.”