All That I Am (Men of Monroe Book 1)

by Rachel Brookes

  I couldn't believe this was happening again.

  Was I cursed?

  “What the hell? Again?” Missy said beside me, and she patted my arm as her hand moved to mine. “Let’s go.”

  After last time, I made sure I held on tight. Thankfully tonight there were fewer people, so it wasn’t as frantic to make our way to the front door. Ben had me in his sight, while Austin focused on Missy. There was no way anything was standing between me and getting to Ben tonight.

  I couldn’t believe it happened when I was so close to Ben. All I had to do was reach out, and he could have grabbed my hand, and now I’d be walking out with him whispering something dirty in my ear about how we were going to end the night. Instead, pain ricocheted through my head as I pulled away from Missy by someone ripping at my braid. I stumbled back through the darkness; I couldn’t see a thing. Whoever had me remained silent and their only concern was stealing me from the confines of safety. Panic crept through me, and the first thing I thought was that Edward had snuck in and grabbed had me. The more I struggled, the harder they pulled and the pain tearing through my skull was excruciating. I frantically tried to blink through the darkness. My only concern was finding Ben, Austin or Missy. As quickly as I was snatched and pulled away from Missy, I was let go and the tension in my head diminished to almost non-existent.

  Overhead blinding light illuminated Hamilton’s as the backup generator kicked in with a low groan. Gasps and cheers of celebration rang out from those people still inside, and most made their way back to the bar as if it was still a normal night out. But my body pinned to the spot. Unease crept over my skin and burrowed itself deep within me, as I saw for the first time who had ripped me from Missy grasp.

  Shelley’s eyes sliced to me, and her mouth twisted into a menacing grin. My brain screamed at me to run, but my feet refused to move. Her hand shot out and her fingers gripped my arm painfully before I was hurled toward her with enough force that my shoulder jarred, and I screamed out in agony. The intensity of my scream silenced the room.

  “Shelley, what—”

  The feel of something forced into my back silenced me. I’d never felt a gun pressed against any part of my body before, but something told me it was exactly what was happening. Fear trampled down my spine as I tried to wrap my head around what was going on. Why did my friend, someone I'd let into my circle, have a gun pressed into my back in the middle of my family’s bar? I'd never been more terrified yet furious in my life.

  “Shelley, what are you doi—,”

  “Shut up!” she screamed before whipping the side of my head with the butt of the gun. Pain flashed behind my eyes, and I swayed on my feet. “Do you every shut up?”

  “Put the gun down,” Austin yelled, edging toward us with his gun raised. “This doesn’t need to end like this.”

  “I didn’t think you’d last,” she said, ignoring Austin and redirecting her hateful gaze to a fuming Ben, who also had his gun ready and pointed at us. “Sasha never fucked men more than once, well, besides that poor excuse of a man, Danny. That was her rule. The whole don’t-get-attached-to-people rule. But then you kept sniffing around this place, she kept opening her legs, and you kept taking. I should have known. Sasha Hamilton can do no wrong. Even her pussy is perfect. You two screwed up our plans.”

  A shiver ran down my spine and I winced at her words. “Shell—”

  How was this happening? What was she saying? Shelley was meant to be my friend. I’d let her into my circle. She was a part of my life, and now she was saying these disgusting things in the middle of Hamilton’s and pressing a gun in my back.

  Panic roared through me as Ben started to move forward, and Shelley didn’t miss his approach.

  “You take one more step, and this will not end well.”

  Silently, I pleaded with Ben to stay away. The tension in the room was suffocating, but I had to find a way to breathe. I had to breathe to survive. I looked at the people in front of me. People who’d been in my life for years, people who’d I’d only just met, and people who’d been coming here for longer than I could remember. They all stared back, different levels of anger on their faces.

  “Looks like we have all the gang here tonight.”

  Behind me, Edward’s voice cursed the air, and my heart felt like it shattered.

  Edward and Shelley.

  In on this together?

  What the hell was happening?

  Slowly, I turned and as I did, a gut-wrenching cry tore out of me. Drew was hunched over beside Edward, clutching at his side and his white shirt was soaked with blood. The need to get to Drew overwhelmed me, and I clawed at Shelley’s arm, fighting to get out of her grip and not caring about anything besides getting to my brother. I was frantic and desperate. Her strength overcame my shock of seeing Drew, and her fist connected with my cheek, and I was momentarily stunned into submission. My cries of desperation became moans of hurt.

  “Edward, what have you done?” I cried out, anxious to get to Drew.

  “I took a little visit to see my old friend. He let me right in. Fuck, you Hamilton’s are way too trusting.”

  “You’re fucking insane.” Drew groaned. “I’d never let you in my house.”

  “Fine, I waited on your porch. Same, same.”

  Shelley dug her palm into my back after ignoring my pleas, and she pushed until I started walking. With each step we took through the eerily silent bar, I stared at Drew. Finally, his heavy eyes met mine before they ran over me, making sure I was okay. My big brother, always in protection mode.

  “Sasha, you look…mmm…. fantastic tonight,” Edward sneered with an ominous grin as his wicked eyes scanned me from head to toe. Bile rose up in my throat knowing that his gaze was penetrating my body. I felt dirty and like a piece of meat, and he hadn’t even touched me. Desperate for clean, I looked at the one person who could give me that. Ben. His stance was unwavering, gun raised and ready, a furious look masking his handsome face, and his eyes were fastened on the scene unfolding. But he gave soft when his eyes found mine, because he knew that’s what I needed. Even as the room around us was drowning with the unknown and the promise of danger, he still gave me what I needed.

  He always did.

  I was in deep with this man.

  And that thought alone meant I had something worth fighting for.

  “He isn't going to help you,” Edward seethed. “None of them will.”

  “Have you worked it out yet, Sasha?” Shelley asked, sounding giddy with excitement once we stopped in front of Edward and Drew.

  I barely heard a word she said because I was too focused on the blood covering Drew’s hand that was clutching his side. Slightly, he shook his head, and I didn’t know whether that meant he was okay, or that he was struggling to hang on.

  “Worked out what, Shelley? That you two are bat-shit crazy? That you fucked me over? What? What am I possibly meant to work out?” I was pissed, scared, and anxious, and I had no control on what I was saying. My emotions were running wild. It probably wasn’t the best thing to do to cuss at a woman holding a gun to me, or in front of a man that had obviously hurt my brother some how, but I couldn’t control it.

  “Look at me,” she demanded so low that I almost didn’t hear her. She forced me to stand in front of her, using me as a shield between her and Austin and Ben. “Really, look at me.”

  So, I did. She looked nothing like the woman I was having Wine Time Wednesday with just a few hours ago. Or the friend who’d been in my house, my store, in my life. She looked wired and had absolutely nothing behind her eyes besides evil.

  “Why are you doing this?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. “How do you honestly think this will end?”

  Her hysterical laugh startled me. “Why are we doing this?” she continued to laugh as she turned to Edward. “She wants to know why we are doing this!”

  I waited. What more could I do but wait? I had a gun pressed against my back, my brother was bleeding in front of me, and I had two mania
cs who were once classed as close family friends glaring at me.

  “I’ll give you a clue.” She leaned in until only an inch separated us and I could feel her breath on my lips. “My name isn't Shelley.”

  44

  SASHA

  Behind me, I heard murmurs and gasps, and beside me Edward’s low chuckle, but I kept staring at the woman who’d I known as Shelley.

  “Who are you?” I hissed, as my fear twisted into anger and began to rage through my bloodstream.

  “I’m shocked you don't remember me.” Her fake gasp hit the air. “That is just going to make our reunion even more special.”

  The more she spoke, the more out of control she became.

  “I’ll give you a few hints. You were Cinderella, and I was Snow White. We shared Barbie’s and dolls. We made mud pies, and you’d cry when your skirt got dirty.”

  I stared at her for a beat before memories of two little girls, giggling and chasing their brothers, swapping dolls clothes and having sleepovers rolled through my head. In disbelief, my eyes bounced between Edward and Shelley

  There was no way this was possible.

  She couldn't be.

  Edward O’Leary’s sister, Holly?

  “Holly?” I gasped, as I tried to find any similarities between the girl who'd been my friend and neighbor, to the woman holding a gun to me. Nineteen years had passed since I’d seen her. We were ten when she left for New York to attend boarding school, and I never saw her again. How could she think that I’d recognize her?

  “Surprise!”

  “Shelley, I don’t...”

  I grimaced as she hit me again in the same spot, but this time a trickle of blood ran down the side of my face, and I swear I blacked out for a few seconds.

  “My name is Holly,” she stated while glaring at me.

  “Ease up, sis, we have plenty of time, well unless Drew bleeds out and then shit will really get real.”

  I looked at Missy and found her staring at the scene in complete disbelief. Austin and Ben had taken a step toward us and were now watching closely and completely on guard and at the ready. I wanted to say so much to Ben, but the risk was too great. One flick of Holly’s wrist and I could either be shot or someone I cared about could be shot. This was about me protecting those that meant something to me. I was angry because I’d been played, and now I found myself here. But I was more angry at the fact that I’d just opened myself up to the best possible chance of happiness that has ever appeared to me, I was ready to give my all to Ben, and I find myself here with two maniacs with God only knows what vendetta against my family.

  “Why?” I whispered. “Tell me why.”

  “Your family took from us, so now it’s time for us to take from you. That’s fair, isn’t it?”

  “We’ve taken nothing from you. Why the fuck would we want to?” Hostility rolled off Drew. “You’ve fucked yourself over one too many times, O’Leary. There is no fucking way you are walking out of here, and now you’ve dragged your sister into it? You’re an asshole.”

  Edward’s glare locked on Drew, and in a flash, his fist connected with Drew’s his bleeding side, and his roar of pain bounced off the walls. “It’s about time you learned some respect.”

  “Would you stop!” I cried out. “What could our family have possibly done?”

  “For six years your slut of a mother was fucking our father. We had the perfect family until she opened her legs, then our family turned to shit. Everything began to revolve around the Hamilton’s. Every holiday, every birthday, every weekend was spent with you. Because they wanted to see each other. Edward had already left home, but I was still there. Then I became an inconvenience to their affair, so I was shifted off to boarding school on the other side of the country. Dad wanted to get mom out of town, so he used me as an excuse, and off we went.”

  My gasp tore through the air, and I’m sure I also heard Missy’s.

  “Then when I would call Dad, all he would talk about were the Hamilton kids. Sasha this, Sasha that, Sasha, Sasha, Sasha. Drew this, Drew that, Drew, Drew, Drew. I was ten! Mom wasn’t stupid though. She knew what was going on and she decided to heal her wounds with booze. So, thanks to your mother, my mother was taking out her frustrations on me behind closed doors, while my father was practically replacing me with you.”

  I sucked in a broken breath as I tried to take in what she was saying.

  “Then my father got your mom pregnant. Paid her to leave town, bought a house for her a few towns over, promised her the world, as long as she said goodbye to her life in Monroe, including the precious Hamilton kids. That’s got to be tough knowing that she could get paid enough money to leave? That money was worth more than you. Talk about rejection.” She stopped for a moment as if she wanted to twist the knife that was sticking out of my heart in a little bit further. “But daddy dearest wasn’t the only one to make promises. She promised him Hamilton’s if they left town together. She was going to talk with her lawyers because now that they would have a kid together, that kid would have claim because she was equal owner.”

  I had another brother or a sister?

  My mother left for money.

  “You lying bitch!” I hissed, as anger pulsed through me. “You have no idea what you are saying.”

  “The truth hurts, doesn’t it? Especially after all these years of trying to work out why she left, when all it came down to is money. It’s always money Sasha. I bet I could offer you enjoy money right now to make you drop to your knees and suck my cock. There is always a price.” Edward stepped forward and got in my personal space, and he was all I could see, then he dropped his voice, declaring, “But I think it would be more fun if I forced you and got to see that fight in you.”

  “I swear to God O’Leary, step the fuck back.” Ben’s voice was lethal, and the threat was not hidden.

  Edward swung around, and with venom in his tone, he declared war, “Would you shut the fuck up? I’ve been dealing with your bullshit for too many fucking years. Stole your cousin's woman, and now look where I find myself, getting ready to steal yours. You made it too easy when you started fucking her.” He looked between Ben and me. “I could deal with two pains in my ass in one go! Holly, if any one else talks or moves, silence them, I’m trying to tell a story, and I want no interruptions.”

  He was insane.

  It as a simple as that, and Drew and I, and every single person here was at his mercy.

  “Now, where were we? Oh yes, that’s right, your mother. It was so easy getting her back to Monroe, again, money worked a treat, but in your mother’s case, I had money and blackmail on my side. Boy, she has some secrets. It’s almost disappointing how easy everything has been. Getting the contracts from Sass - a piece of cake. Holly got the key from your spare set, and she walked right on in, and no one even questioned why her fingerprints were in your office because you two were friends,” he said smugly. “And getting drugs in here. Now that was even easier. I fucked a couple of young pussy, gave them a taste of some free shit, and they brought it here. I got pussy, they got free drugs, Hamilton’s got yet another black mark against its name, and you two started falling from the pedestal. Brilliant all around.”

  “Why the fuck did you need the contract?” Drew hissed from the floor. “It’s ironclad; you can’t do shit with it.”

  “That, I’ll give you.” Edward sneered. “Got to say I was mighty pissed when I saw your Dad had removed your mother from staking any claim. Your Dad was a smart man. If she’d still be on the deeds, it would have meant that our sister would have claim to this place, just as much as you two. Fuck, I was pissed when I found out. I’d been grooming our sister, fighting with that sassy mouth she has, to get her on board. Promising her the world, telling her she could run it when she turned twenty-one, fuck; I’d promised to buy her an apartment, basically whatever she wanted. One thing her and Sasha share, they are both stubborn as fuck.” I had a sister? “Holly and I had big plans for this place. There would no longer be a
nything family-friendly about Hamilton’s once I got my hands on it. Monroe wouldn’t know what hit it. Our sister was the stepping-stone to getting it, and you two were in my way. So, I decided I’d get it another way, by chipping away slowly and bringing in the drugs, the women, and scandal. Fuck, the shit with the mayor’s daughter was just an added bonus. I didn’t even know that was going to happen, but it worked a treat.”

  “You are a piece of shit.”

  “You really need to get your anger in check, Drew.”

  “You will never get this place,” I said confidently even though inside I was freaking out like never before. I had a sister. I couldn’t wrap my head around that. A sister I shared with the vilest people in the world. My mother left us because she got paid enough. I was so done. So fucking done. “There is no way Drew and I would ever sell this place, so how did you honestly think you’d get it?”

  “I have my ways, Sasha. Look at what’s happening now. You’ve got a gun pointed at you, and I gotta say, Holly has some mega issues when it comes to you, so I’d be really fucking careful, and Drew here, well he’s bleeding pretty heavily, and your mother? She’s currently working out how she’ll spend her share of the sale of this place, so shit’s not looking good in respect to you two. Also, I’m also sure your cop boyfriend has told you all about poor Jacqueline,” His smirk twisted into an evil grin. “She said no to me once, and look where it got her. If you’d said no about this place, I would have made sure you never spoke, fucked, or walked again. Then your hero brother would have gone off seeking revenge on the men who brutalized you, and I would have come right on in and bought the place. The perfect plan really.”

  I turned to Holly. “Did you just hear what he said? He organized a woman to be raped, and he just insinuated that he would get someone to rape me. You're okay with that? As a woman, as a human being, you are okay with that?” I screeched.

  She rolled her eyes. “Paybacks a bitch, Sasha.”

  “This is all because you want revenge on something neither one of us had any say in. You two are fucked.”