by Dylan Quinn
"Why won't you stand up and fight for what you want? How can you just walk away from Remie? From all of us?"
Phoebe glared, her mouth open and eyes wide, waiting for me to let go of my clenched fist.
I blew out a breath, puffing out my cheeks, then relaxed my hands on my knees. "I need you."
I waited for her to respond, but the usual loving Phoebe I’d always known didn’t answer.
"Everything can't always be about you, Zoe."
"Huh?"
"You really can be selfish. Ever since Eli left, everything's been about you. What you need. This club, your plans of touring and recording with Lucci. I mean, seriously. Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?"
My jaw dropped. "Excuse me?" I stood up and gripped my hips.
"So typical," she mumbled under her breath and shook her head.
"I'm right here, Phoebe."
"Good. Then listen closely." She turned toward me. "Daddy pulled some strings and got me into Columbia.”
No.
“I'm going home."
Phoebe got up from the bench and walked out.
Part of me wanted to chase after her, but I couldn’t make my butt move.
She was right.
Ever since Eli left, all I’d focused on was music. This dream. Even when Cade came along and informed me what this sacrifice was about, I still whined about me, about this career I’d never have. Like that was more important than saving an entire race. What the hell was wrong with me?
"Hey." Remie came in. "You okay? Phoebe said she told you her news."
I shook my head. "You're really going to let her go back to New York? Just like that?"
He ran his fingers through his messy, blond hair. "Phoebe’s a tough nut to crack. Despite what you think, though, she's no doormat. She stands up for what she believes, which is what makes her the most amazing soul I've ever known."
"Then please explain to me, how can you let her leave?"
"First of all, she has a choice. And the final decision was hers, not mine. But she's right. I've spent the past few days trying to figure this out. She’s in danger here. And she would never allow me to ignore this duty. We all have our roles to play. And for me to discount that would be more selfish than not letting her go."
"You really believe that?"
"Yeah." He pressed his lips together. "And if you spent more time with Phoebe, you would too." He closed his eyes. "I know this is gonna sound strange." He paused. "But I think a thank you is in order.”
"A what?”
"Deep down, I know somewhere inside of you is Chayah. The woman who has sacrificed many times over so I could be here."
"A lot of good it's done Phoebe."
"I wish you saw what we do. You still think all this is a burden, but it's not. It's this amazing gift you've been given. You know, when I met Phoebe, I was a mess. I’d just lost my parents, and I was alone except for Rainah. I had no idea what direction my life was heading. Then you showed up to my guitar class with all your natural talent and attitude. We clicked just like that, even before I knew you were Genesis. And the minute you introduced me to Phoebe, that was it. My heart recognized her soul immediately. She was the one."
His amber aura lit up the room. I’d never seen him so happy. Or in love.
"So why would you want to give her up?"
"Who says I'm giving her up?"
"Well, she's leaving.”
"Yeah, so she’ll be safe until this all passes. And besides, it's just geography. Raz says I'll be able to open portals to anywhere once my gifts are at full strength. Easy to visit girlfriends in New York." He nudged my shoulder.
"So you guys aren't breaking up?"
"Why would I do something that stupid?"
"Well I just figured since she's leaving."
"No way. She’s my Gemini, even if she is human. But I believe her, too. Phoebe believes there’s something in store for us. We have doors opened, and we walk through them. She may be going to New York for now, but this is just the beginning. All our lives are about to change."
"I don't know if I can do this without her." I sighed and lowered my head to stare at my ring. "You don't understand. I've already lost Sophie and Eli. Now to lose Phoebe, too? Who do I have left?"
"Oh, I don't know. Why don't you ask Cade?"
A strange tingle shot up my spine. I turned around and there he was, looking like I just killed his kitten.
Remie squeezed my shoulder, then walked out.
My heart sunk into my stomach.
"I heard about Phoebe. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I had to be sure you’re all right."
Something about all this released the floodgates. I couldn’t hold my emotions in any longer.
Cade sat beside me at the piano bench and pulled me into his lap.
I buried my head into his shirt, unintentionally soaking it with my tears. "I can't lose her. I can’t lose another person in my life."
"I know." He worked his hand through my knotty hair and moved it off my shoulders. "I'm here for you, love. You won't ever lose me."
I lifted my head, my cheeks heated. Chest tight. “That’s BS."
"I don't understand."
I narrowed my eyes. "You. How can you sit there and say I'll never lose you? If this Eternal Sacrifice is in fact, for Eternity, then I keep getting kicked off the island. Repeatedly. I will lose you. Again. How many times can one person go through this?"
I picked myself up from his lap and stood.
"Zoe." He reached for me.
"Don't.” I pushed my palm out. I had to get out of there. “I know you're only trying to help, but I need some air."
~Chapter Twenty-Five~
Zoe
“Zoe.” Lucci grabbed my arm as I stepped backstage after we finished the first set. “See if the others can take over. We have a contract to negotiate.”
My stomach twisted in knots. Holy crap.
I nodded, and ran to the dressing room. “Hey guys, can I talk to you for a sec?”
“What’s up?” Phoebe asked.
“Lucci brought a rep from Infinity Records to come see us tonight. He wants to talk about a contract.” Blank stares all around. Here we go. “I know what you’re thinking, but just hear me out. I kinda talked to Cade already. He agrees that if I need closure, I should have it. So, I’m going to talk to them. Just see what they’re thinking.”
“Is that really a good idea?” Phoebe narrowed her eyes. “I mean, getting your hopes up?”
“We’re just talking, Phoebe. I’m not saying I’m going to take it, but I am going to hear them out.”
“Cade’s really okay with this?” Remie asked. “What about Raz?”
“Um—” Neither knew, but Cade did sort of say it was okay. “First, Cade doesn’t own me. I’m still free to make my own decisions. And second, I’m just going to talk to them.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “What’s the big deal?”
“You’re opening up Pandora’s Box.” Rainah glared and put her hands on her hips.
“She’s right, Zoe.” Phoebe said. “This is a bad idea.”
“Stop worrying, it’ll be fine. I need you guys to support me on this. One last time.”
Phoebe pursed her lips.
Remie and the others looked to each other with narrowed glares.
“Just do this one thing for me. Please. We’ll talk later.” I resisted rolling my eyes. Not an easy task. “It’ll be fine. Promise.”
I turned around and headed out to the Infinity table. I wasn’t going to stand there and endure more of their disapproving looks. This was supposed to be a pivotal night, and I wasn’t about to let them ruin it for me.
I crossed the room to Lucci and Sam Gaits’ table.
Sam and another guy stood. “Zoe, good to see you again. This is Chase Cirrus, one of the producers here at our Chicago studio.”
They each held out their hands, and I shook them.
Warm fingers lightly wrapped around my arm. I turned t
o see Cade standing there.
Seriously? I pressed my lips together and sucked in a breath through my nose.
“I’m Cade.” He ignored my dirty look and reached his hand out to Sam and Chase. “How do you know Zoe?”
Lucci glared at me, then Cade. She could be anyone's worst nightmare, but she'd always been there for me.
“I’m Dr. Lucci, Zoe’s adviser at Northwestern. This is Sam and Chase from Infinity Records. They’re here to make Zoe an offer.”
Cade gave me an accusatory glare then turned to them. “Then you won’t mind if I join you.” He grabbed a chair from the table beside me, never taking his gaze from Lucci.
“By all means.” She gestured toward the table then sat across from him.
Everyone sat down while I stood for a second, holding in my imminent explosion.
Cade and Lucci engaged in a staring contest: Cade with his thick arms over his chest, and Lucci with her back against her chair.
“You were amazing,” Sam broke the silence. “And we want to make you an offer.”
“What kind of offer?” Cade remained focused on Lucci. His chest pushed out like he was claiming his territory over me.
Annoying, but still kind of hot.
“We believe you’re ready for the next step, and we’d like to sign you to the Infinity label. Initially, just for an EP, but we can extend it if sales are good.”
While Sam and Chase went on about the deal, Cade’s attention never strayed from Lucci. My excitement was overshadowed by the tension radiating around me. The negative energy at this table was palpable.
“We’ll consider your offer.” Cade stood the moment Sam stopped talking. “For now, we must go.” He looked down and reached his hand toward me. “Zoe?”
I narrowed my eyes.
His eyebrows pulled together and wrinkles crossed his forehead.
I’d never seen him angry.
He pressed his hand toward me again, determined not to leave without me.
I growled under my breath and stood from my chair without taking his hand, then turned to Sam.
“Thank you. I’ll let you know soon.”
“Of course,” Sam said. “We’d like to know by next week. We’re anxious to get started, ideally, after Labor Day.”
I nodded, then shook his hand, and then Chase’s.
“Walk me out?” Lucci nodded toward the door.
“Sure.”
I turned to Cade, who grabbed my arm and shook his head, no. Ignoring his directive, I pulled free then went to follow Lucci.
Cade grabbed my hand again. “Zoe, we need to speak privately for a moment.”
I huffed, and Lucci shook her head.
“Fine.” I grabbed his hand and sifted through the room toward the exit. We walked down the corridor to the foyer of the lounge, where it was quiet. “What is it?”
“You tell me.” He glared. “What’s this about? And why didn’t you tell me?”
I leaned back against the wall beside my picture, crossed my arms over my chest, and stuck my foot up behind me.
“Because I didn’t know if they were going to offer anything or even what I thought about it. I wanted to wait until I knew for sure.”
“You can’t keep things from me, Zoe.” He growled.
Man, was he pissed.
“I wasn’t trying to hide anything, I just wanted to know what the offer was, or if there even was one before I brought it up. Besides, you said if I needed this, I could do it.” I put my foot down and stepped closer. “Well I need it.”
Raz came through the doorway. “How’s it going here?”
I rolled my eyes.
“Zoe failed to mention she’s being offered a recording contract. And that she intends on accepting.”
Raz lifted his eyebrows. “How do you plan to pursue that and your duties at the same time?”
“I was just thinking about it, that’s all. Cade said it could happen, so I agreed to meet them. That’s it.”
“It is not a good idea,” Raz said. “I understand your need for closure, but this is not closure, it’s an opening to a situation you won’t be able to resist.”
“So you think once I get a taste of humanity, I won’t be able to give it up?”
“Yes,” Raz said, matter-of-fact.
“That’s exactly what I think, too,” Cade agreed.
“Why does everyone think I have no self control?” I stomped my foot. “Unbelievable,” I huffed, and turned to Cade.
“So you didn’t mean it at all, did you? When you said my happiness meant something to you, and that I deserved closure.” I stepped closer to him. “You don’t trust me.”
Lucci showed up then. "I’m off, Zoe. Walk me out?”
I shot Cade a dirty look then took off with Lucci toward the parking lot.
Cade followed close behind.
Lucci pulled me into a hug. "I'm so proud of you. This is your moment, don't let anyone—I mean anything ruin it for you." She nodded at Cade and then got in her BMW and sped away from the Lighthouse.
I turned to Cade. “Okay, spill. Whatever you’re going to say, just say it.”
"I don't know what to say except this is something we need to discuss."
"What's there to talk about? You said I had time for closure. I want my closure.”
“I’ve always supported you in everything, but this is unwise.”
“Why? Because it’s counterproductive to what you want? To keep me in bubble wrap, locked up in your tower like some fragile princess? This helicopter routine is getting old, Cade. You need to decide which side of the fence you’re on. Either you support me and my happiness, or you don’t.”
He reached for me, but I stepped back.
“I support you. I want you to be happy, to find this closure you seek, but Lilith is a constant threat, and we need to be on guard. I’m not sure this kind of distraction is safe.”
“I’m a big girl. I handled my business just fine before you came along. Sophie left me for a reason. You need to trust me.”
“It’s not you I don’t trust.”
“About that. What’s up with you and Lucci? There was obvious tension between you two.”
“I’m unsure, but—there’s something not quite right about her.”
“Lucci’s been like a surrogate mom to me since Sophie and Eli left. If you guys didn’t want me to depend on someone, then maybe she shouldn’t have left.”
“Zoe, there are things at play here you don’t understand.”
“Enlighten me, then.” I widened my eyes, waiting for Cade to say something. Anything that would make sense, but he didn’t. He just stood there in silence, as always.
“That’s what I thought. When you’re ready to trust me with your intel, you let me know. Until then, leave me alone.”
I turned around and started to walk away when Cade called behind me. “We’re running out of time.”
I stopped in my tracks and spun around on my toes. “What does that mean, running out of time?”
He hesitated, like he said something he shouldn’t have.
“Cade? What aren’t you telling me?”
“There’s a deadline.”
“My birthday, I know.”
“No, Zoe. A different deadline. Sooner.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What kind of deadline?”
“To make your intentions known.”
“So? I never said I wasn’t going to do this, I just said I needed time to get this out of my system. You said that was cool, now you’ve changed your mind?”
“It’s more complicated than that.” He hesitantly moved closer, hands behind his back.
“Okay, then tell me. Uncomplicate it.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at his feet. “I must consult Raz first.”
“Are you serious?” I gripped my hips. “You need permission to tell me something that directly affects my life? Again? I thought we were past all that.” I shook my head. “You know what? No. I’m no
t doing this now.” I pointed at Cade. “You should’ve told me.”
“Zoe, you cannot leave. It’s not safe,” his voice trailed off as I ran down the pier in my three-inch heels.
How could he keep that from me?
I wouldn’t get to graduate. I’d never tour, never record.
My life is over.
How did this even happen? Did Eve really do all this for Cade? I got the refilling the souls thing, I had no problem doing that, but Eve sacrificed any chance at happiness of her own. For him.
So he’d have her another thousand years.
And okay, I can understand doing it once, maybe even twice, but how long of a commitment did she sign up for? Two terms? Five? Eternity?
This really was an Eternal Sacrifice. Infinite.
What the hell was Eve thinking?
Cade kept saying it was my choice, but in the reality of it all, Eve never had a choice to begin with. At least not one she could live with.
And neither do I.
I’ll have to choose Cade, this life, and this never-ending sacrifice. Not because I want him, although I do, but because the alternative is an impossible choice to live with.
My heart raced, and every bone in my body longed to punch Cade in the face.
Eve chose this. Not me.
Her choice didn't make any of this fair, and it sure as hell didn't make me, this Zoe, want to run into Cade's arms, declaring my undying love for him with intentions of Eternity—or another thousand years until I had to do this again.
So much of me wanted—no, needed to stop.
To be done with all of it once and for all.
After ditching Cade, I slowed my pace and strolled along the pier. It was peaceful and for the briefest of moments, a calming vibe hung in the air.
A few stragglers strolled along, but not many, since it was almost midnight.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Cade:It’s not safe to be wandering alone this late.
Please tell me where you are and that you’re all right. I’m sorry.
Did I want to text him back?
I chose to ignore him, stuck the phone back into my pocket, and returned to my people watching. I missed this, the stillness of the pier at night.
I sat on the same bench where Cade cleaned up my knee.