Barely Human

by Dhtreichler

“Then put me on the list. Landon will be my husband. He will be the father of my children. And then I will need to be like you to be able to stay one step ahead of my family.”

  I can only think this is going to be so hard. I like Mindi and depend upon her. But she has no idea what she is asking. “What is Landon saying about your decision to transition?”

  “He does not want me to.”

  “Is he going to transition?” I ask aloud as I scan the list in my head. “He’s not currently asked to do so.”

  Mindi can’t look at me now. “Landon says that creativity can’t be computerized. Either you are, or you aren’t. Landon thinks being like you would make it harder for him to be creative.”

  I don’t understand this argument. I’ve not seen anything that would affect or limit creativity. But then again, I’ve not seen anything that enhances it either other than the speed at which connections are made. “But Landon doesn’t have any idea what I’m like.”

  “No, he does, actually. From what I’ve told him about observing you every day. And that’s why I have to transition. I see what it has done for and to you. I have to be like you to be successful.”

  “What is it you think you’ve observed?” I have to ask.

  Mindi has to think for a moment, but then she responds, “You made a quantum leap.”

  Not what I expected from someone who is non-technical. “Can you say a little more?”

  “You were always one step ahead of Oriana and Jermaine and your team leaders. But only one step. They pushed back on you a lot. Questioned things. You usually, but not always, seemed to have a direction in mind that they needed to come back into alignment with.”

  I wasn’t aware that Mindi had such a good understanding of what was going on with the teams. “You’re talking about when I was sick.”

  Mindi seems apologetic, “Before you were sick, you were a half dozen steps ahead. But not at the end. That’s why so many thought you were going to retire or be asked to leave. The rumor was everywhere. Even I believed you wouldn’t make it to the end of the year.”

  “And now? What do you think?”

  “You’re superwoman. What every one of us wants to be. You can do anything. We talk about women who have to raise families, take care of elderly parents, and manage a full-time job. Well, you haven’t had to do all those things, but there’s no question you could if you needed to. Much better than I could as I am. And I will have to manage all those things.”

  “But you also live forever.” I point out. “Your parents and family will all pass on and yet you will still be here for thousands of years afterwards. Have you thought about that? You won’t die like your family. Even your son or daughter will have their lives and die and you’re still here. What about Landon? If he doesn’t transition you’re still here for thousands of years after he has left you. Have you thought about that?”

  “I have.” Mindi wants me to know she’s not going into this frivolously. “Landon and my children will transition at some point. And that’s not really important, as to when they transition. So, I will have them with me. My children will also wait until their children are borne to transition. So, my family will continue with each parent transitioning once their children have been borne. Does that make sense to you?”

  I nod in understanding. An optimistic assumption that she will have access to the ability to transition for her whole family forever. She is assuming I’ll always be in this role and she will always be able to ask me to schedule her descendent for a transition at the right time. Will I be able to do that? I don’t know. I’ve not given the subject any thought.

  I come face-to-face with the assumptions people around me are making. These are the people who have the most information. What is it like for those who don’t have direct contact with me and A’zam? What are they assuming about how the new world order will evolve? People are making assumptions and most of them are based on news or fake news accounts of what the immortal revolution actually means. If A’zam is successful in cornering the market beyond his first year, very few who aren’t important to AppleCore will transition. Mindi is AppleCore, but can I schedule her and Landon and her kids over product development and manufacturing personnel who deliver more value to the company in terms of output and sales? I don’t know how I will handle that at the time. Putting Landon on the list is probably easy. I can defend that. But Mindi and her children? Not so easy.

  “I suggest that you come back to talk about transitioning once your child has been borne. Quite frankly there are a number of things I’m concerned about.”

  “You already have what you want.” Mindi is angry. “Why would you try to limit me and Landon and our family?”

  “Mindi. Calm down. I’m not trying to limit anyone.” I reach across the desk to touch her arm and calm her down. It doesn’t seem to have much effect. She’s still angry, disappointed and confused all at the same time.

  “You have to transition us. And our family. You can. I want you to guarantee me you will do that. Transition us. Give us a chance.”

  I shake my head involuntarily and Mindi picks up on it.

  “Why not? Because we are Hindu? Because we are Indian? Because we’re not like you? You’re black, you know what it’s like to be discriminated against. You should be more sympathetic to our cause than the average person.”

  “I haven’t said I won’t. In time. I’m just not sure how I agree to do something you can’t tell me when I need to do it. I’m working on the next class. They go through next week. You’re not going to be ready for a year or more. Maybe never if the numbers aren’t favorable to your marriage to Landon. I simply can’t tell you what I’ll be dealing with at that point. If it comes down to transitioning you or someone I need to ensure Symbol Ventures doesn’t catch up to us on one product line or another? That’s not going to be a hard decision for me. It won’t be you or Landon or one of your kids. I have an obligation to do what’s best for the company. And quite frankly, although you are indispensable to me, to the company as a whole a semantic natural language processing expert might be more important to sales in the next quarter than you will be.”

  Mindi looks at me as if I am a visitor from another galaxy. I instantly know her priority list looks nothing like mine and she has just come to the realization that my priority list will win out every time over hers.

  “I am not important to you,” Mindi realizes aloud.

  “No.” I shake my head to emphasize the point. “You are very important to me. Landon is important to me. But to be in this position I have to look broadly. What are the competing interests of the company as a whole? We are only a small part of the whole. In order to keep my leadership team engaged in dominating our markets I have to give them the tools, resources and people they need to execute the plan we put in place.”

  “And that means moving people with specific skills ahead of Landon and me on your list.” Mindi has come to an understanding of the situation.

  “Yes.” I’m not going to give her false hope.

  Mindi stands and bolts for the door.

  “Mindi.” I call her back. “Please sit with me a bit longer.”

  “Why? What else can you say to kill my hope?”

  “Sit down. Please.”

  Mindi sits, but she is very upset.

  “Landon doesn’t want to transition, does he?” I ask her.

  Mindi looks at me the same way she did before as if I knew what she was thinking or a conversation she had recently had. Her voice is very quiet as she answers. “No.”

  “You’re trying to force something even though the person you’re trying to protect doesn’t want protection.”

  Mindi’s lower lip quivers. “He will come around when he understands what’s at stake.”

  Again, I reach across my desk and touch her arm, “And I’ll encourage him when the time is right.”

  Mindi seems surprised after the nature of the conversation to this point. “You would do that?”

  “Mi
ndi, I always try to protect and advance my teams. You know that.”

  Mindi nods barely perceptibly. “That’s Landon. What about me?”

  “I will do what is best for the company first and if I have discretion you will be at the top of the list. You okay with that?”

  Mindi nods but doesn’t say anything.

  “What if you transition and have a child. You no longer have feelings other than the memories of them you have from this life. What’s the impact on your child?”

  “Impact? Why would it be any different?” Mindi wants to know.

  “You won’t react the same way you would if you stay as you are. You react from memories, but if you’ve not been a mother before you have no memories. What do you do? Your child does something you should react to emotionally. But you don’t. You have no feelings sending you signals. How do you react? Not as you would today. Not as your parents did when you were a baby. The child isn’t sure how to react when they’re in a similar situation whether biologic or mechanical. Don’t you see what I’m saying? If you transition when your child is small you will change dramatically how they perceive the world and how they will react to it. The further we get from our emotions and reactions of today, the more we become different. Less human.” And the less human phrase hits me hard given Rocky’s depiction of me as barely human.

  “Why is it you see this and yet no one else is talking about it?” Mindi demands to know.

  “Mindi. The press conference was yesterday. No one has had time to think this through, including me. And I’ve had more time than anyone except Dr. Woodall.”

  “Who is he?” Mindi hasn’t heard that name before.

  “He transitioned me. But even he was more focused on how the mechanical parts of my body worked than the emotional or psychological aspects of transitioning.”

  Mindi lowers her head, “What do you suggest?”

  “Patience,” is my one-word answer.

  “But that means I need to trust that you will take care of Landon and my family.”

  I’m confronted with faith. What do I think about faith? I don’t know. Is what is happening to me part of some cosmic design? That I have trouble accepting. I was destined to be the first to transition? I don’t think so. It was a matter of being presented to the right people at the right time. Nothing more. But Mindi has raised an interesting question. Why me? Why not someone else? I have no answer to that question.

  I try to put the situation into perspective. “Mindi, I will take care of you and Landon and your family to whatever extent I can as long as I can. But that doesn’t give you preference.”

  PANDORA

  A’zam wants me to come to his office. Not something I really want to do, but I’m sure A’zam will not be happy or content to let me not come. So, I wander down the hallway to his large corner office that has teak furniture and the best view of the coy pond in the atrium. Brit, his way too attractive new admin nods as I come in. My first impression is that A’zam has found someone attractive enough to keep him happy, but only if she is as interested in his advances as he will be in making them.

  “You wanted to see me?” I ask as I enter.

  “A’zam is working at immortal speed. “Sage. Yes, yes. Sit.” A’zam points to a chair as I come in, even though he doesn’t look up.

  He finishes what he was working on in his mind, then his eyes turn to look at me. I see him evaluating what he sees. Some thoughts are going through his mind as a response that he doesn’t share. I wonder what he’s thinking, but I’m also sure he’s not going to share with me. “What are you doing to get Dr. Woodall’s team transitioned? We need them to do more than two a day.” A’zam goes right to the essence of his concerns.

  “Dr. Woodall owes me a schedule,” I respond neutrally.

  “Not good enough.” A’zam sounds eerily as I did just a few minutes ago. “I need to know now. From what I see, he should be able to transition eight in a day, not two like he has so far.”

  “Mortals aren’t able to process as quickly as we are.” I push back.

  “Bullshit, Sage. Step up. Show me what you’ve got. I’ve been willing to give you some leeway given you were the first to transition. But you better get a handle on things. Make sure we get the most out of every member of our teams. You used to be the best at that. But now? I don’t know any more. You seem to be willing to let people off rather than holding them accountable.”

  Where is he getting this? The only thing I can see is he is making assumptions to push me as far as he can, even if he has no tangible evidence I’ve done anything different. I make a decision. “I’ll give you a schedule tomorrow.”

  A’zam has an amused look. “You think you can manage me?”

  “Don’t need to manage you. All I have to do is be realistic with you and if that means lowering your expectations, well so be it.”

  A’zam smiles. “Glad we have that straight.”

  “You put me in charge, so now you have to let me do what’s necessary to get the results our shareholders, employees and customers expect.”

  “I couldn’t have said it better myself.” A’zam isn’t smiling now. “I’m not happy. I know you’ve just started, but we have no time. And the fact you’re now what? Six times human speed? You need to start getting results six times faster.”

  I shake my head, “You couldn’t even if you’d stayed in your former role. So why do you think I can do what you couldn’t?”

  “You’re smarter than I am. Down in the trenches. You see what people are doing. Get them motivated to do what we need them to do.”

  “But they’re still working at human speed. I’ve pushed technology as far as they can go until we transition at least a core of folks. That takes time. And I know you’re not big on giving folks time. But it’s what it is A’zam. I can’t magically push them to superhuman speeds when they’re still human.”

  “Exactly why you need to convince the good doctor to transition his teams. Accelerate the pace. Get more through quickly.”

  “That’s in process.” I inform him. “I just don’t have the final schedule.”

  “Really? That’s not what I hear.” A’zam is baiting me and it’s too transparent. Why would he do that?

  “Then those who are informing you have a different agenda then we do.”

  “Do you even know what the agenda is?” A’zam is smiling again thinking he has me.

  My mind quickly reviews all of the conversations A’zam and I have had since I transitioned. The agenda had to be formulated after I became immortal. And then my mind serves up the conversation where A’zam offered me this position. If I would help him create a new cadre of superhuman programmers and systems designers. But he also said he would keep the most capable chips for himself and me. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He actually was using me to create a race of super humans and he would be the most super of them all. If I would help him, he would let me be as super as he will be. More capable than anyone else. But there was something about the plan, almost as if there was more to it than he shared with me. The fact he’s been off making deals that don’t go through the management team means I have no idea what he’s actually doing.

  I look back up at him, “I get the impression you have more than one agenda. Which one are you referring to?”

  “Very good. There’s hope for you yet.” A’zam seems to be thinking about something else as I know I don’t have his full attention.

  “You didn’t answer my question,” I push. “Is there something I should know about?”

  A’zam shakes his head. “You need to talk to Woodall.”

  “Consider it done. What else is on your mind?”

  “Priorities Sage. I have one set and you have another. But my priorities can’t progress unless you ramp up the transitions and deliver a team of immortals that the rest of the industry can’t touch in terms of innovation and capability.”

  “And the orgasm update?” I don’t like how he is limiting what he’s telli
ng me. Something is going on that he doesn’t want me to see. Why?

  “That’s your second priority, but when will I get an update?”

  I knew that would get his attention.

  By early afternoon I’m sitting in Dr. Woodall’s office waiting for him to join me. I have a few minutes to think while I wait. I think about seeing my biologic body through the window the last time I was here. It was surreal to think that was what most considered to be me, but I wasn’t a part of it any more. And when Dr. Woodall said I’d not live long enough in that body to carry to term that had been the reality check I needed.

  I’m musing about life and death when Dr. Woodall enters the room, distracted but clearly trying to reorient to meet with me. He comes across the room and sits on the desk across from me.

  “Great to see you, Sage.” He is smiling but he isn’t looking at me. His eyes and thoughts are still somewhere else.

  I give him a minute, not wishing to disturb his thoughts, let him come to a conclusion. He seems to notice and finally engages me with his eyes. He’s now ready to chat.

  “How are you?” Best to start off on a personal note.

  “Busy,” he has to collect his thoughts, probably censoring what he was thinking. I wonder why.

  “A good busy?”

  “Absolutely. This is what we hoped for all those years while we were perfecting the procedure.”

  “But you still don’t intend to transition,” I seek to confirm his earlier position. I see the change in his eyes. I’ve hit on something that is deeply felt by him.

  “Dr. Frankenstein never wanted to be his creation.”

  “Are you saying I’m a monster?” I think I know where he’s going, but I need to be sure.

  “Not at all. You’re not my creation either. You are still you, just with a new lease on life.”

  I have to ask the question again, that he never answered the last time. “What if I want to transition back now? How long could I expect to live?”

  Dr. Woodall seems surprised by my question. His expression hardens. “I thought I was very clear about that. You made your decision and we have taken the actions to complete your transition.”