Learning to Be Little Again

by Meredith O'Reilly

  “Gatorade?” she asked with a nasty look on her face. “It’ll hurt my stomach!”

  “Sweetie, your tummy is just upset because you haven’t put any food in it. It’ll suck up this Gatorade and be very happy. Come on, hop into bed,” I said, sitting down on the right side of her bed as she got into the left side.

  She lay down and just looked at me, and I positioned her so we were perpendicular, cradling her neck in the crook of my left elbow. Basically, I was holding her like a baby as I brought the bottle to her lips. She took it and hesitantly began to suck. After a few seconds, she got the hang of sucking from a bottle and started to drink normally.

  She must have been more tired than I thought because she fell sound asleep after only finishing about a fourth of the bottle. I would have really liked her to drink more, but I didn’t want to force her to stay awake.

  I pulled the bottle out of her mouth carefully, then placed it on the nightstand and gently shifted her so she was lying on her pillow. I pulled the covers up to her chin and placed a goodnight kiss on the top of her head.

  Grabbing the bottle of Gatorade, I walked out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly so she wouldn’t be disturbed by me. Then I went into the kitchen and placed the bottle in the refrigerator. She can drink it later.

  I then headed into the family room, sat down on her couch, and dialed Mark’s cell phone number.

  “Hey. How’s Juliana? I just got off work and I’m going to run home, change, and I’ll be right over.”

  “Hey. Slow down, man. I just put her to sleep for the night, so could you wait to come over until tomorrow?”

  “Fine, but can you tell me how she is?”

  “Something happened to her. I came over and she looked so sick. She hasn’t been eating or sleeping. I’m about ninety-five percent sure she lost all the weight she gained since I’ve known her.”

  I sat back on the couch and pinched the bridge of my nose, as Mark let out several curse words. “Do you know what brought this all on?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t want to talk about it tonight with her. But if I were a betting man, I’d say it has to have something to do with her ex-boyfriend, Boyle. I won’t know for sure though until I talk to her.”

  “I want to be there with you when you do.”

  I wasn’t so sure that was a smart idea. All the times I had tried to broach the topic of Boyle with Juliana, she changed the subject so fast. I didn’t want too many people to be there and make her even more skittish about it. But Mark had been the one who found and took care of her, so maybe she would be alright with him there.

  “If she’s okay with it, then I’m okay with it too.”

  “That’s fair. I’ll be over first thing in the morning.”

  “Alright, bye.”

  “Bye.”

  I hung up and put my cell phone back in my pocket. I closed my eyes, thinking about tonight. I knew in my gut that Juliana’s behavior had something to do with Boyle. She wouldn’t have just decided to stop eating and sleeping for no reason. I decided I could figure it out tomorrow.

  I went upstairs, got ready for bed, and headed into the bedroom, then changed into my pajamas and got underneath the covers, pulling Juliana close to me. I gave her another kiss on the forehead right before I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

  * * *

  I woke up at my usual time, six o’clock, and yawned, feeling like I had barely gotten a wink of sleep last night. My poor baby girl woke up screaming five times from nightmares. Each time I comforted her and got her to go back to sleep. Her last nightmare had been at three thirty in the morning, so I was happy that she was having her longest stretch of sleep now.

  I got out of bed, grabbed a new pair of clothes, my razor, shaving cream, and a baby monitor. I placed the baby monitor on Juliana’s nightstand and then carried the other one along with all of my stuff into the bathroom.

  I took a long shower, letting the warm water ease my tired muscles. When I finished, I got dressed, shaved, combed my hair, and carried the baby monitor with me towards the kitchen.

  “What the hell?” I shouted and jumped when I saw Mark just sitting at the kitchen table and drinking a cup of coffee.

  I walked to Juliana’s bedroom door to see that my outburst hadn’t woken her up, thankfully. I shut the door so Mark and I wouldn’t disturb her, then walked across the family room and into the kitchen.

  “What are you doing here? You practically gave me a heart attack, man,” I said, placing the baby monitor on the kitchen table and then going to the cabinets to get myself a coffee cup. I poured myself a hot cup, added some milk and sugar, and sat down across from Mark.

  “It’s six thirty. I know you always get up at six. I didn’t realize you’d be in the shower.”

  “It’s fine. I’m just tired. Juliana kept having nightmares last night.”

  “Is that what that’s for?” he asked, gesturing towards the baby monitor.

  “Yes. All her nightmares started with her whimpering and ended with her screaming ‘No!’ I want to wake her up before she starts screaming. I’m worried about her, Mark,” I admitted, glad that I finally had someone to talk to about this.

  “Me too. I checked up on Boyle last night to see if anyone heard about him. Turns out, he skipped bail and there is a warrant out for his arrest.”

  “Well, that’s just fantastic,” I said, taking a big gulp of coffee. Why couldn’t this scumbag just leave my poor baby girl alone?

  “Do you think we should tell Juliana? I hate the thought of making her worry more than she needs to.”

  I took another sip of coffee, thinking about that. Mark was right. On one hand, I didn’t want to worry her because it would only hurt her. On the other hand, I thought she had the right to know. Also, if she knew, it would make her more cautious.

  Coming to a decision, I said, “I think we should tell her. It’ll make her more cautious and she has the right to know.”

  He was about to object, but I held up my hand to silence him as I continued, “With that being said, I will tell her boss so he can make sure to keep an eye on her. I know that you and Juliana have mentioned in the past that he is an older man who has daughters around Juliana’s age and so he’s extra protective of her. Let’s use that to our advantage.”

  “What about when she isn’t at work? Her boss can’t be with her all the time, and you and I work.”

  “True, but that’s the beauty of being in a practice with three other doctors. I only work one weekend a month, and I always get Mondays off. On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I work from nine in the morning to five at night. Then on Thursdays I work from one in the afternoon to nine at night. Juliana works from eight thirty in the morning to five fifteen in the evenings, Monday thru Friday. I’m close enough to drop her off and pick her up four out of the five days in the business week.”

  A grin flashed across Mark’s face as he said, “I have Thursdays off, so I can watch her then. But I work most weekends. What are you going to do with her when you have to work that one weekend a month?”

  That made me pause to think. The weekends were going to be tough. Thankfully, I only worked one a month, but it was going to be tricky. Then the solution hit me.

  “I can bring her to work with me. She can stay in my office. Besides, on weekends the practice is only open from ten in the morning to two in the afternoon. If she doesn’t want to stay with me for those four hours, then I could have her hang out with Samantha or Joey. I know that Juliana has been talking to both of them a lot.”

  “That sounds like a good plan. I just hope Juliana will like it and her finding out about Boyle won’t hurt her health anymore.”

  I took a sip of coffee before I answered him. The caffeine finally started to work its way through my system and wake me up.

  “As crazy as this sounds, I think it will help her out tremendously. She will always be with someone, and I’ll quite enjoy being able to feed her and instill plenty of nap times so she’ll gain
some weight and get rid of the dark circles under her eyes.”

  “You’ve got a good point there, my friend,” Mark said, raising his coffee cup towards me and then taking a drink.

  For about an hour, Mark and I sat at the table talking about work and sports. I’d drunk another three cups of coffee when I heard Juliana starting to wake up over the baby monitor.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said, standing and bringing the baby monitor with me. I quietly opened her bedroom door, walked in, and closed it right away. I could see that she hadn’t quite woken up yet, but she was getting there. I walked across the room and sat down on the side of her bed.

  Pushing her hair out of her face, I gave her a kiss on the forehead and said, “Good morning, baby girl.”

  Her eyes fluttered open and she momentarily looked confused, but then smiled at me and said, “Good morning, Daddy.” Her little fists went up to her face and rubbed her eyes.

  “I would ask how you slept last night, pumpkin, but I know the answer to that.”

  “Sorry,” she said, casting her eyes downward as if in shame.

  “Hey, it’s okay, baby girl. Everyone has nightmares sometimes. Now, can I see that smile of yours again, please?”

  She gave me a halfhearted one so, I tickled her stomach and made her giggle until she begged me to stop.

  “There’s that smile. Now let’s hurry up and get you changed. Mark is here to see you.”

  “What?” she asked, sitting up quickly. “He didn’t see me, did he?” She sounded panicked.

  “No, baby, he didn’t. I wouldn’t allow that because I know you aren’t comfortable with it.”

  “Good.” Her entire body sagged in relief. “Can we change my pajamas too? I don’t want him to see these,” she said, gesturing towards her footie pajamas.

  “That’s fine with me, Princess. Let me pull out some clothes for you to change into and then we can take your jammies and diaper off.”

  “Okay.”

  I stood up, walked over to her dresser, and pulled out a blue sports bra, a blue pair of cotton panties, and some gray sweatpants. I walked over to her closet and took out a blue long sleeve shirt.

  “Alright little one, lie back please.”

  She did and I had her out of her jammies and diaper in under a minute. I helped her into her new clothes and said, “Okay, let’s go see Mark.” Hand in hand, we walked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Robert and I were walking into the kitchen when I said, “I’ll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom.”

  I let go of his hand and went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and hair, and then went to find Robert and Mark. They were both sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and talking.

  “What’s going on, Mark? Why are you here so early?” I asked, sitting down next to Robert.

  “Robert called me last night about you being sick. I wanted to come over right away to check on you myself, but he told me that you were too tired and so I said I’d come over today.”

  “Oh.” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to have to tell them about Boyle, but it looked like I was going to have to.

  “You do look like you haven’t been feeling well. The dark circles are back under your eyes.”

  I brought my hand up to my eyes, as if I would be able to feel the dark circles.

  “Can you tell us why you started having nightmares again and decided that eating wasn’t a smart thing to do?”

  I felt my heart speed up at the thought of having to tell them.

  Robert must have noticed my problem because he jumped in and said, “How about if I make us some breakfast first? Though I don’t know what’s in the refrigerator.”

  He stood up and walked over to the refrigerator as Mark said, “I brought groceries over for you guys. I figured you could use them.”

  “Thanks,” Robert said as he pulled out a bunch of food. “How do big fluffy omelets sound?”

  “Delicious,” Mark replied.

  I just shrugged my shoulders, sure that I wasn’t going to be able to eat much. Ever since Boyle called, my stomach was just not in the mood for food. Even the thought of food made me feel ill.

  So as Robert made omelets for all of us, Mark and I talked about the weather and how my work was going.

  About fifteen minutes later, Robert placed three plates of omelets on the table, along with two buttered pieces of toast on mine and a big glass of orange juice for me to drink. I started to take small forkfuls of the omelet and when I got through about a fourth of it, I put my fork down because I was full.

  “Juliana, you need to eat more,” Robert said.

  “I’m full,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “Come on, Juliana. Just eat a few more bites for me.”

  “Fine. Just a few more,” I said, picking up my fork again and taking another bite.

  After three more bites, I put my fork down as I was officially stuffed. I pushed my plate away from me and looked up at Robert and Mark, who were both watching me. I looked at their plates and shockingly, they were empty. How do they both eat that fast?

  “Now that you’re done eating, why don’t you tell us what upset you so much,” Mark said.

  “I’m actually feeling hungry again,” I said, reaching for my plate.

  “No, baby girl, it’s time for you to talk to us. Trust me, if you talk to us about what happened, it will make you feel so much better,” Robert said, grabbing my left hand and giving it a squeeze.

  “Fine. I—on Tuesday, I got a call.”

  “From Boyle?” Mark asked.

  I nodded.

  “What did he say?” Robert asked, giving my hand another squeeze.

  “He knew about you and said… and said I’d b-be… p-punished.” The feeling that I was about to be sick came back with a vengeance. I closed my eyes, trying to take deep breathes so I wouldn’t embarrass myself by getting sick in front of them.

  “Easy, little one. Here, take a little sip of your orange juice,” Robert said as he brought the glass to my lips.

  I took a little sip and it helped. I took a few more until I felt better and opened my eyes to see both men looking at me with concern. “I’m sorry, you guys. I know that I’m not handling this well.” That’s an understatement.

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for, sweetie. I’m sorry for what we have to tell you next.”

  “What?” I asked, automatically knowing I wasn’t going to like the news.

  “Boyle skipped his bail. We have a warrant out for his arrest, but as of right now, we don’t know where he is,” Mark said.

  Before I had a chance to panic, Robert jumped in and said, “Mark and I came up with a plan to keep you safe. On Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, you’ll stay with me and I’ll drop you off and pick you up from work. Then on Thursdays, Mark will pick you up and you’ll spend the night with him until I can pick you up. Weekends we’ll spend together, and on the weekends I work, you can come to my office or you can hang out with Joey or Samantha.”

  That all sounded great to me, but I didn’t want to make Mark and Robert feel like they had to be with me every second of every day. That would take its toll on them and probably make them resent me.

  “No, you guys can’t do that. I won’t make you babysit me like that.”

  “Juliana, I say this with love, sweetie, but you don’t have a choice in the matter. Neither Robert nor I will leave you alone. I refuse to let that leech get his hands on you ever again,” Mark declared, crossing his arms over his chest, which meant that was his final word on the subject.

  “I have to agree with Mark, baby. You mean too much to us to let you get hurt. Besides, it won’t be babysitting to us.”

  “But—”

  “Juliana, enough,” Mark said, staring me down and squashing my protests. I envy the bravery of the girl who becomes Mark’s wife, I chuckled to myself.

  “Okay, okay. You guys win,” I s
aid, holding my hands up in defeat.

  “Good. Now on that note, I hate to eat and run, but I have to go get ready for work,” Mark said, standing and reaching for his winter coat.

  “Thanks for coming, man.” Robert stood and gave Mark a hug.

  I got up next and gave him a hug too and whispered in his ear, “Thanks for coming.”

  “Don’t mention it. Be safe, kid.”

  “Bye.” I waved to him as he walked out the door.

  Robert walked over to the door and locked it, then turned around and faced me. “How are you feeling, little one?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Okay. Now that I ate, I don’t feel like I’m going to be sick anymore.”

  “Great. Now is as good a time as any for your punishment.”

  “Punishment?” I asked, alarmed. I’d forgotten about that. I tried to scramble for an excuse to get out of it, but Robert was talking before I had a chance to.

  “Yes. Remember, I told you since you lied to me about being sick and why you were sick, you would get a punishment. Now I want you to stand right here and I’ll go and get the first part of your punishment,” he said, turning and walking into my bedroom.

  First part? How many parts were going to be in this punishment? Why didn’t he just spank me like he did before? I wondered as he came back with a notebook and pen.

  He handed both items to me and said, “You are going to sit at this kitchen table and write out in very neat handwriting, I will not lie to my Daddy, one hundred times. Once that is done, we’ll do the second part of your punishment.”

  Sighing, I sat down at the kitchen table as he began to clean up the breakfast dishes. I opened the first page of the notebook to see that he’d labeled the hundred lines for me and that at the top he’d what I was supposed to write. It was going to take two pages front and back to completely write out all the lines.

  I couldn’t help the groan that came out of my lips.

  “Problem, sweetie? Do you need your bottom warmed up to get your hand moving?” Robert asked, drying one of the dirty plates.