by Lyssa Layne
“What is she talking about?” Olivia directed the question to Jason, as she reacted with a chuckle.
Jason shook his head, his eye straying to the ceiling at Cherie's comment, but explained nonetheless, “She's trying to tell you that she and I are seeing one another and plan to explore a possible future.”
Cherie slugged Jason's arm playfully, “Boy, you sure know how to spoil my fun.”
After a few minutes of updating Olivia on how their evening went, Jason elected to leave the two women to Cherie's silliness. Besides, he was still having a tough time coming to grips with his earlier admission to Cherie. It was the first time he'd ever even come close to even telling a woman he loved her.
##
The following day, over breakfast, Cherie again brought the subject of visiting Destiny.
Olivia excused herself to call the convalescent home to make sure they'd be expected.
When Olivia returned and told her they'd be going later in the day, Cherie brought up her conversation of the night before with Jason, which reminded her of Jason's experience during his last visit with Destiny. Just a tad nervous, Cherie asked; “How was she the last time you visited her?”
Olivia's response of “nothing has changed” again made her nervous about going.
Seeing the hesitation on Cherie's face, Olivia asked, “Would you like to see if Jason will accompany us? I'll be glad to call him if that will make you feel any better.”
“To tell you the truth, it would make me feel better. Right now I'm sort of afraid of what I'm going to see. I know she doesn't know me or even of my existence, but I'm really concerned about how I'll react seeing my mother acting childlike. But if Jason is there, he can take me out of the room before I make a mess of it by having an adverse reactionin front of her.”
“You don't have to explain anything to me, Sweetheart, I completely understand, it hasn't been easy for me either, seeing my daughter reduced to a waifish state, so I don't expect you to readily accept any of this either. Do you want me to call Jason or do you want to?”
Grateful for her grandmother’s understanding nature, Cherie responded, “That's okay, I'll call him myself.”
After placing the call to Jason, she hung up realizing that with Jason at her side, she wasn't nearly as frightened of being introduced to her mother.
The drive out to the White Oaks Convalescent Hospital seemed to take forever. Cherie felt her heartbeat speed up. Her palms were moist when Jason took her hand, trying to calm her fears. Fears she was sure were written in words across her forehead.
After being warned by Destiny's doctor that they were not to reveal Cherie's true identity, the nurse finally came for them. They were escorted to the solarium.
Olivia’s face light up.
Cherie followed her line of sight.
Olivia moved to a chair then leaned over and kissed her daughter's cheek. “Hello Sweetheart, how are you?”
Jason pulled a chair from a nearby table for Olivia to sit in then acquired two other chairs to seat them beside Olivia.
“Honey, I've brought some people who'd like to meet you.
Sweeping her arm toward Cherie she introduced her first, “This is my friend Cherie, and this is another friend, Jason.”
Cherie squatted down in front of her mother, taking the frail hand in hers, she looked up into her face. “Hi Destiny, I'm happy to meet you. I've heard so much about you from your mother. I just want you to know I hope we get to be good friends.
Cherie waited as she stared into the baby blue eyes of her mother. Eyes, amazingly similar to her own, only her mother's were empty, staring right through her.
The acknowledgment Cherie waited for never came, but the one thing she distinctly noticed was when she called her mother Desiree, she scowled as if the name hurt her in some way.
It was strange looking at someone she so closely mirrored in looks. Destiny's snowy white hair was neatly combed and braided, making her appearance much younger than her forty-two years. If Cherie hadn't known her age, she'd have guessed her to be no older than herself. The lack of daily stress in her mother's life left her face free from lines and wrinkles.
There was no response at all from Olivia's words to her daughter, much less recognition of Jason's name from her past. She was just a young woman, reacting for all intents and purposes like a six-year-old. Destiny sat in the stationery chair, rocking back and forth, with a rag doll across her shoulder like she was rocking a baby.
Cherie wondered about that action. Was it perhaps the only way she could deal with the loss of her beloved Jeff. She meant to speak to the doctor about it first chance she got.
Her grandmother brushed a stray strand of hair out of her mother's eyes, flipped both braids behind Destiny's shoulders all the while Destiny rocked and hummed a familiar lullaby.
Unable to sit and watch the scenario play itself out, Cherie got up and went in search of her mother's doctor. When she tracked him down, she hit him with a whole slew of questions.
Dr. Andrews sat behind his desk, casually leaning back, rocking his chair as Cherie tried to understand the reason for her mother's state of mind.
“Dr. Andrews, I'm sure my Grandmother conveyed to you that I have only just become aware of my parental origins. As Destiny's daughter, I'd like to have as much information as possible, so I can better understand what brought on this—uh—”
“Behavioral state?”
“Yes, that's about it.” Cherie hoped and prayed what he had to tell her would give her some promise.
“Miss?”
“Cherie Michaels,” she supplied.
“Miss Michaels, your mother suffered a shock when her young man died. I believe that her fear of how her family would react to her impending state of motherhood is what sent her into a safer and happier time in her life.”
“You mean she was afraid of how her father would react, don't you?” Cherie felt her blood pressure rising as she again silently swore at the old man who ruined so many lives.
“Yes, I do believe that's why she left us, mentally. However, it doesn't explain why she is remaining at the same childhood age she's in. I've been trying to convince Mrs. Alexander to tell Desiree that her father has passed away, hoping that somewhere in her subconscious she'll realize it's safe to come back to us.”
“Do you really think it's possible? Could that pull her out of it?”
“I honestly don't know, but I think it's worth giving some serious thought to. I've been in touch with several doctors on the east coast, and they all say they can't guarantee it will work, but say that it can't hurt if that is what her biggest fear is.”
“I hear a but coming on.”
“Yes, you do. If she sent herself back to a time in her life where she last felt safe, I don't know if her mind is too young to understand what her father passing truly means. For all we know, she may just take that as him being out of town, and if that's the case, then I highly doubt that this will work.” The doctor sat up straight, looking her in the eye. “Another thing that must be considered is that if she does come out of it, she will most likely be the same age as when she left.”
“Meaning that she'll still be unaware of my existence, right?”
“Yes, that's right, Miss Michaels. I'm sorry.”
“Will her mind allow her to remember my father is dead and will her mind be able to handle the knowledge that she has a grown daughter or is this whole thing just a pipe dream?”
“At this point in time, I can't state anything emphatically.”
“So even if we tell her Lawrence is gone and she understands it, we can't be guaranteed she'll come back to the present?”
“That's about it. You need to understand how delicate the mind is. Hers in particular. She obviously couldn't stand the loss of her young man and the knowledge that she was pregnant. But my biggest fear right now is not that she'll come back but how she'll handle the news when she discovers that you were taken from her and put up for adoption because she was
n't mentally sound at the time. I fear the guilt will be more than she can handle and may send her back permanently.”
“Thank you, doctor, for your candidness, but I must tell you that I plan to discuss other options with my grandmother. After all, Destiny’s care and possible recovery are my chief concerns. I have a great deal at stake here and there is no way I want to hurt her, but if I do manage to have a chance of having a relationship with her, I dearly want to try.”
“Miss Michaels, may I say that you have taken the news of your parentage much better than I would have suspected. That is a tremendous compliment to the parents who raised you. I'd have to say they did an excellent job bringing you up as an independent, strong young woman. Had your mother had that same opportunity, this whole situation might never have happened.”
“Don't get me started on that subject. Lawrence Alexander is not a man I have a very high opinion of.”
“It sounds like we're in agreement there.”
“Well then, you can't be all bad, if Lawrence wasn't able to convince you of his greatness.”
“On the contrary, he and I butted heads the majority of the time. I am responsible for removing her from the first facility, because I didn't trust that doctor he had in charge of her care.”
“Excuse me?”
“I shouldn't be talking out of turn, but I sincerely doubted that doctor's qualifications. I came on the scene right after your mother delivered you. That arrogant S.O.B. marched around that place like a prancing peacock on parade, reminding anyone who would listen that he was hired to care for the great Alexander Lawrence's daughter.”
“Was he just arrogant in his bedside manner or was it more than that?”
“I have nothing to substantiate my beliefs, but I don't think he was exactly on the up and up.”
“What do you mean by that?” Cherie sat perched on the edge of the chair, eagerly wanting more details.
“Well, I started at the hospital just before your birth. Our initial meeting was not the best, he apparently felt threatened by me, since I had credentials he didn't have. He made it a real point of not letting me see your mother, until after your birth, and even then he was as smug as could be, acting like he'd just pulled the biggest con and gotten away with it. Mind you, that’s my take on it. I know all about the HIPPA laws, but they weren’t in effect back then.”
“I managed to get your grandmother to let me see Desiree shortly after she gave birth, but by that time she was well established in the other world, the one she's currently in. It is my opinion that the other doctor’s lack of skills or his manipulations through shock therapy are what have your mother so indelibly engaged in that other world.”
“Did you actively pursue the other doctor's ethics at that time or what?”
“That's just it, as soon as I took over the case, he left the hospital, and may I say, that he departed that facility in a brand new car. Now, I know your grandfather was paying him well, but not that well.”
“Do you recall his name? I'd like to do some investigating.”
“I'll never forget his name; it's Dr. George Benson. His wife, June, was his nurse at that time as well. I didn’t think much of her either.”
“Thank you very much, Dr. Andrews, for taking the time to talk to me. I'll speak to my grandmother and let you know what she decides to do about treatment for my mother.”
Armed with this new information, she rejoined Jason and her grandmother. While Olivia finished her visit, she held tightly onto Jason's hand for strength. She needed him now, glad he was there beside her.
On the way home, she relayed all the information to Jason and her grandmother. Everything, including Dr. Andrew’s suspicions about Dr. Benson’s moral conduct.
Olivia invited Jason to dinner so they could continue the conversation.
“I hope you don’t mind if I take a few liberties, but I’d like to be put in charge of Destiny’s medical care?” Cherie had no idea how her suggestion would be met.
“What do you have in mind?” Olivia put her fork down, clasped her hands and listened.
“I’d like to have Mark, Jason’s private investigator do some research on the Dr. Benson and his wife. At the same time, I plan to put my own investigative skills to find the right doctor and get a second opinion of Destiny’s condition. To do that it means I need your approval for the home to release her medical records. I have a feeling the answer is in the history of the time Dr. Benson handled her case.” Cherie took a deep breath, then asked the question that had dug a pit in her brain and began to grow, dastardly roots. “By the way, can you tell me how Dr. Benson came to be the physician handling her case?” There, she said it and managed to keep her tone relatively calm.
“Lawrence found him. I’m not sure where, but he swore to me he was the best in the field.” Olivia’s sat back, her shoulders drooped. Toying with her napkin, she admitted, “I never liked him very much, but I remained silent because I wanted the best for my daughter.” Olivia sat up straight and tall in her chair. “I’d appreciate any help you can be in regard to my daughter. I’ll phone the home tomorrow and request you be added to the case and that they release her full history to you. Thank you.”
Cherie nodded. She appreciated that Olivia wasn’t saying your mother, but rather my daughter. The respect she had for the woman who was her grandmother continued to grow. Even now all these years later, her daughter was her first concern. She had her doubts that Lawrence ever felt the same way. She wouldn’t speak her mind now, but she’d talk to Jason and Mark later. No way did she want to hurt Olivia with the suspicions burrowing in her brain.
No one seemed to have much of an appetite, especially after the dinner conversation.
After Jason had left that evening, Olivia and Cherie talked about how their visit that day had affected Cherie.
“I’ll admit, I can see a substantial amount of resemblance between Destiny and me, but it’s difficult to reconcile seeing a grown woman behaving like a child. My heart aches for her. I want to know what ran through her mind all those years ago, to make her fear the outcome of her life so much that her brain took her to a different place.” Cherie sniffed and looked away. Taking a deep breath she went on to say, “After speaking to Dr. Andrews, I think if we proceed with caution, we might just bring her back.”
“Why do you believe that, when nothing has happened all these years?”
“I’ve done a lot of research and made some contacts in the field of psychiatry, and believe me I’m not afraid to reach out to them.” Since they were on the subject, Cherie brought up the pained expression on Destiny's face when she called her by name at their introduction.
“That's because she doesn't remember being called Destiny at that age. That didn't happen until Jeff came along, so she probably didn't understand that you were talking to her.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but what if she did recognize that name and it made her remember a different time…a time when she did remember that name? In fact, her reaction was so strong that I'm going to talk to Dr. Andrews about it next time I see him.”
Olivia seemed to contemplate Cherie's idea, and giving it merit she replied, “If you're right, then maybe she's not stuck in the past as deeply as I thought. If she did recognize that name, maybe I'll even get my daughter back.”
“It's worth a try. My theory on the subject after seeing her react that way is that everyone is treating her like a six-year-old child, and in doing do, it’s keeping her in that world.”
“Just promise me that you won't do anything without consulting her doctors first. I trust Dr. Andrews, and I know he has her best interests at heart.”
“I’d never do anything to hurt her.” Cherie nodded, covering her mouth to stifle a yawn.
“I think you've had about as much as you can handle for one day, young lady. Why don't you turn in? We can continue this discussion in the morning after you've had some rest.”
Agreeing with her grandmother, Cherie kissed her goodnight
then climbed the stairs to her room. Her thoughts were centered on all that she'd seen and heard today. A small part of her blamed life in general for what her mother became. But her grandfather and his role in the tragedy lingered in her thoughts. She was just so angry with him for being so rigid and unbending toward the people he claimed to love. A tiny part of her blamed herself for being born. She blamed her impending arrival on what sent her mother so deeply into the other world. If her mother hadn't been pregnant, Destiny would only have had to overcome the loss of the man she loved. But, by being pregnant, she couldn't face her father, knowing how he'd react.
Logically, she knew she wasn't responsible for getting Destiny pregnant, but that didn't diminish the hurt that defied logic.
By the time she stopped in front of her bed, she was so angry all she could think about was kicking the damn bed frame. She fully expected the pain in her foot when it connected with what she thought was a metal frame. What she didn't expect was for her foot to become lodged between wooden planks of the raised bed.
When she was finally able to get her foot loose, she bent over and raised the dust ruffle of the bed. Removing the broken boards, she looked to see why the boards had broken. What she found instead was a book, resting just inside the frame. When she pulled the book free, she realized it was a diary. She dusted off the cover and opened it. It was her mother's.
She clutched it tightly to her chest. Her eyes filled with tears as it dawned on her, the tremendous gift she'd just been given. A chance to have a first-hand glimpse into her mother's past.
Changing her clothes in record time, she donned her nightgown and slid between the sheets. As tired as she had been only moments before, she was wide-awake now. She planned to read page-by-page, word after precious word, cover-to-cover.
The first twenty pages or so were filled with the usual events of a young girl’s life. Destiny, or Desiree as she was still called then, wrote about her grades, straight A's. She wrote about her friend’s antics, antics she wasn't able to join due to her curfew.