The Winter Boy

by Sally Wiener Grotta

  Jinet trembled with fear and, she had to admit, anger, too. “Don’t you see that’s wrong?”

  “Of course it is, dear.”

  “No, I don’t just mean Kiv. If the Alleshi can’t mitigate their own disagreements”

  “Yes, I see what you mean.”

  “But, Savah, you were just talking like Dara.”

  “Would you rather I speak as Kiv would?”

  “Of course not. But does it have to be either/or? Aren’t we the Alleshi, the Peacekeepers?”

  “Does that make us any less human?” Savah asked. “Any less fallible?”

  “No, but it should make us that much more accountable for our own actions and responses.”

  “Do you see how Kiv has already affected you, made you question your most fundamental truths? You must not listen to her.”

  “It isn’t only Kiv.”

  “No, you’re correct. The more the Mwertik raid and kill, the more people Kiv may persuade to her way of thinking.”

  “That isn’t what I meant, Savah. Kiv is an Allesha, no less than you or Dara or any of us.”

  “Jinet, dear, there are things you don’t yet understand.”

  “I wonder… the more I learn, will I understand even less?”

  Chapter 42

  Evanya found the unsigned note from Karinne under her gatepost lantern. “We must talk. Come to the library immediately.”

  Heading for the library, Evanya set a steady, heightened pace that would not seem untoward to anyone who watched her. Her mind raced, imagining scenarios of danger, despair, destruction, one after another. Only after a few moments did she realize that in each she was picturing Karinne, not as the old retired Allesha she was now, with her thick, round body and tightly coifed grey hair, but as the young woman Karinne had been when they had met, decades ago, as Allemen brides.

  How simple their lives had been when their greatest concerns had been little more than being good Allemen wives, maintaining their homesteads, caring for their children, helping their neighbors. Perhaps that was why the two of them still clung to the names of their youth — Evanya and Karinne — in the privacy of their friendship, in a vain attempt to invoke a time of innocence and faith.

  Inside the library, Evanya found Karinne in her private study. “She’s seen the brand,” Karinne said without preliminary greeting.

  Evanya nodded. “As we knew she would.”

  “But we didn’t prepare her for it.”

  “How could we without telling her the entire story?”

  “Evanya, we don’t dare wait any longer. His Season must be turned.”

  “Not until I know how much damage Kiv has done,” Evanya insisted. “If Kiv has succeeded in seeding enough doubt that we can’t predict how Rishana will react, then we’ll need the remainder of the Awakening Stage to solidify her bond with her boy.”

  Karinne’s frown creased her face even more deeply. She gestured for Evanya to sit. “The brand isn’t our only problem. Rishana is beginning to doubt you, and maybe even me.”

  “Tell me.”

  “You allowed her to see your hate and fear.”

  “My what? I don’t hate anyone.”

  “Even Kiv?”

  “Ah, yes.”

  “It can become a wedge, separating her from us.”

  “Never, Karinne. Whatever else she feels or thinks, she would never turn from you.”

  “Evanya, how can we be sure of that? Yes, she will always love me, because it’s ingrained in her as part of her love for her dead husband. But should she ever realize that I’ve deceived her by withholding the truth, what is it that she would be turning from, other than a phantom of lost faith?”

  “You’ve always been true to yourself. How could she not see that?”

  “I didn’t tell her the truth about the brand; she’ll remember that. She came to me with questions, important ones that cut to her heart, and I diverted the conversation.” Karinne’s voice trailed off. “Once she realizes that I’m more than her Savah and much less, too, she won’t be easy to control.”

  “She never has been. If she were, she wouldn’t have been the right instrument for us.”

  “True,” Karinne said, a glint of pride softening her voice only briefly before it turned to ice. “I knew when we started the sacrifice it would require: to be willing to gamble losing the full faith of one of my own. Now, it’s beginning to happen, and I fear everything may unravel at the smallest pinprick.”

  Evanya was silent for a few moments, weighing what Karinne had said. “How do I regain her trust?”

  “She’ll be watching for signs of dissembling now.” Karinne paused, then said, even more adamantly, “Only honesty will win her trust now, Evanya. That includes the truth of your complicity in all this. And mine. The sooner, the better, if we want her to not only understand, but accept.”

  “I need a bit more time, Karinne. Time to find the right way.”

  “You’re trying to avoid what must be. I’ve never seen you like this. If one of your problem boys had behaved in such a manner—”

  “Yes, I know. I know. As soon as I’m sure the bond between them is strong enough to withstand whatever might come…” Evanya sighed. “It’s been so pleasant these past few weeks, watching them, remembering the wonder and joy. I miss those days, Karinne. How alive we once were. How innocent.”

  “Our innocence died years ago, by our own hands. You can’t allow yourself to become soft now, Evanya, not after everything we have done to get to this juncture. The boy is here, and Rishana is the Allesha we shaped for him. If we weaken when we are so close, it will all have been for nothing. How many deaths would then be piled on our heads?”

  “I’m not saying I won’t do what must be done. Just that I wish—”

  “As we all wish. But only action will save us, not dreams.”

  Evanya nodded. “Soon, Karinne. Soon.”

  “What will you do if she asks you directly?”

  “I’ll deal with that when it happens.”

  “No, Evanya! You must be prepared. Should she ask you directly — and I am convinced that she will, and soon — you must tell her the truth.”

  “And if she doesn’t ask?”

  “Then we will know that the damage is greater than we thought.”

  “Soon, I promise. But it must be gradual, so we don’t overwhelm her or damage her Season.”

  “This is one promise you must not break.”

  Evanya stood suddenly. “Karinne, how could you? You know I never willingly—”

  Karinne didn’t move, nor did she adjust her position in any way. She just glared at Evanya, allowing her eyes to cut through to the core, where memories welled up between them. “Your will is your own and ever has been,” she said in a steely quiet voice.

  Evanya felt the weight of years and guilt descend, and she stood not quite as tall. “Karinne. I will do my best.”

  “Your best is better than that of anyone I’ve ever known, dear.”

  But Evanya knew that more than Karinne or even Rishana was depending on her. If she failed, how would they ever salvage the Peace?

  Chapter 43

  Dara/Le’a allowed herself the guilty pleasure of watching her two charges as they blossomed during the Awakening Stage. She observed Rishana carefully, almost convincing herself that the young woman’s Season remained untainted. Was it so wrong to squirrel away this bit of joy against what was to come?

  Rishana had her own style for teaching the sense-awakening lessons. And the boy responded to them with intoxication, like a blind man whose eyes were suddenly opened to colors and light. Of course, his habit of lashing out whenever he felt uncertain or threatened was so ingrained that he was still reactive and often rebellious. He was.however, trying hard to learn and master his temper.

  A few days into the Awakening Stage, Dara knew she could delay the inevitable no longer. At the end of Dov’s visit with her, she decided to walk back with the boy. Rishana/Tayar had a right to learn the tr
uth.

  The sky was heavy with winter clouds and the promise of more snow. Le’a and Dov were approaching Tayar’s house when the young Allesha strolled toward them, her arms filled with wicker boxes and mesh bags from the storehouse.

  “Hello! Here.” Tayar thrust most of the packages at Dov.

  He grunted, but said nothing; he was too busy juggling the various strange shapes that didn’t fit into a neat pile in his arms.

  When everything was balanced, Tayar stroked Dov’s hair. She knew the effect to be one of unconscious familiarity, which is why she had started with such gestures. Now it was as natural and heart-born as she would have it appear. She hoped that Le’a didn’t notice how stiffly she held herself as she leaned in to embrace her mentor.

  Once inside, the young Allesha asked Dov to put the food away and prepare the vegetables for dinner. The two women went into her bedroom and closed the door.

  Dara sat in the upholstered armchair while Rishana perched on the edge of her bed. Rishana finally broke the tense silence. “Dara, are you just going to sit there and not say anything?”

  “Ask whatever you will, and I’ll do my best to answer.”

  “You hate Kiv,” Rishana said. “And you fear her, too.”

  “Yes,” Dara said, but she didn’t lower her gaze in shame. “Have you listened to Kiv? Do you understand what she’s trying to do to us?”

  “Does that give you the liberty to turn from all that we are, all we must do and teach?”

  “It’s Kiv who has turned. She doesn’t believe our ways can hold our Peace in the face of the Mwertik.” Dara’s hands tightened into fists. Seeing what she was doing, she deliberately opened them, and slowly smoothed the black wool of her trousers with her flat palms.

  “But to hate one of our sisters.”

  “I apologize to you; I have allowed my fears to gain a foothold and turn bitter; it may have affected your Season.”

  “I don’t want or need your apology.”

  “What is it you do need?” Dara asked.

  “Do you know that’s the first time any Allesha has ever asked me that? You always do or tell, never ask.”

  “Perhaps you can teach us to ask more often. So now I’m asking you, Rishana, what do you want?”

  “The truth.”

  “The truth is a large and complex thing.”

  “Let’s start with just one portion of it. Why do you hate Kiv? Why do you fear her?”

  “That she will change everything I have ever loved and believed in. Change it so fully that I will no longer recognize my own world, my own people.”

  “Is she that powerful, then?”

  “No, not personally. But she has a powerful ally — our great terror of the Mwertik. When people are so frightened by the unknown, they will listen to even a madwoman.”

  “Kiv isn’t a madwoman. She’s an Allesha who is trying to find solutions, as we have all been taught to do.”

  “But her solutions are unacceptable.”

  “Nothing seems acceptable. It’s either war or our old ways.” Rishana saw a glint in Dara’s eyes. “Or do you have some other plan?”

  “What if we could find someone the Mwertik would listen to?”

  “Have you?”

  “Not yet, but we’re working on it.”

  “An intermediary?”

  “Of sorts.”

  “Who?”

  “Whom do you think?”

  Possibilities whirled in Rishana’s mind. But a part of her had no doubt once the question was asked. Who else could it be that she would know? “Dov?” she asked reluctantly.

  “Yes. Dov.”

  “But why? How?” Rishana paused, suddenly seeing the answer as clearly as the drawing on the paper she had taken to Savah. “The scar on his foot!” She shot up onto her feet.

  “Yes, the brand,” Dara said, measuring out the words. “The Mwertik mark their own.”

  Rishana pictured Jared, mutilated just as her Winter Boy had been, and was certain Dara couldn’t possibly mean what she was saying. “We know they mark their victims.”

  “Yes, but in a different way; they carve into their victim’s flesh with their knives.”

  Rishana felt numb, as though her skin had suddenly become a dead shell. “What are you implying? That Dov is Mwertik? Fire and Stones! How is that possible?”

  “Mistral…” Dara hesitated, choosing her words, “…found him as an infant.”

  Rishana whirled to stand over Dara. “Found him? Are you saying he isn’t Mistral’s and Shria’s son?”

  “Not by blood.”

  “But how?” Tayar pictured her Winter Boy, so raw and open, so ready to love and learn. “Damn! He doesn’t know, does he?”

  Dara shook her head. “It’s a complicated story, which I promise to tell you some day, but we haven’t the time right now.”

  “Another promise, Dara? Why should I believe you?”

  “Because you now know enough that you will seek the truth, with or without my help. I’d rather it be with.” Dara pulled her shoulders back, making Rishana realize how hunched over the older woman had been. “Rishana, your boy will be looking for you soon. When we have the time, we’ll sit together, and I’ll answer all your questions as completely as I can.”

  Rishana nodded once, in acceptance of the promise she no longer needed or trusted, knowing she wouldn’t rest until it was fulfilled. “Tell me one thing: do you have a valid reason to believe that the Mwertik will listen to him?”

  “We think so. Everything will depend on his training. On you.”

  Rishana wanted to shout, to explode with anger, but she was trapped. The only way out for her, for Dov, was to do exactly what Dara expected of her. “Yes, I see that now.” She paced about the room, back and forth, measuring the limits of her life, so completely delineated by all that had been decided for her and for him.

  “Will you accept my apology?” Dara asked tentatively.

  Rishana glared at Dara over her shoulder, then quickly turned away. “No,” she said. “No, I can’t. But I won’t cheat the boy of his Season. Especially now.”

  “And you’ll work with me to shape it?”

  “Do I have any choice?”

  “Not unless you want to turn to Kiv’s ways.”

  “Damn it, Dara!”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “Do you? Do you understand how betrayed I feel right now? You were my mentor. I thought you were my friend.”

  “I am and always will be.”

  “But you lied to me, manipulated me.”

  “I didn’t lie so much as not tell you the truth.”

  Rishana felt as if she were seeing Dara for the first time, and she didn’t like what she saw. “And you hate, Dara.”

  “Don’t you?”

  Rishana was thrown by the question, because she did feel hate welling up in her heart. “No, I won’t become as you are. I won’t hate — not Kiv or you — or anyone.”

  “And the Mwertik?”

  The Mwertik. It always came back to them, and to the memory of Jared’s beautiful flesh slashed by Mwertik knives; the same pattern seared into the sole of a child’s foot. “I haven’t won that battle yet,” Rishana admitted.

  “But you can win it. Work with me to mold the boy into what he could be, what he must be.”

  Rishana stared at Dara, and her perception shifted once more, forcing her to see through her own illusions. Dara was nothing more than a woman struggling and sometimes failing. And that was the greatest betrayal of all — that the older Allesha was not the embodiment of wisdom and experience that Rishana had once believed her to be.

  “Yes, I will work with you because Dov will need all we can give him if he is to survive your machinations.” Rishana closed her eyes and took two cleansing breaths. However, when she looked at Dara again, she didn’t feel any calmer. “I must go out to Dov,” she said. “He’s certainly finished his chores.”

  As Rishana reached for the doorknob, Dara said, “Kiv must not
find out about the boy.”

  Rishana turned to Dara. “Why not? If she knew you have an alternative, perhaps she’d stop pushing for war.”

  “We can’t know what she might do about him… or to him.” Dara hesitated, then said in a whisper, “Some wonder about the timing of Jared’s murder and how it might have fit into Kiv’s plans.”

  “This is too much! Don’t you dare use my memories of Jared to try to control me!”

  “I’m not saying I know anything of the kind; only that we have very good reason to be wary of her. Please, Rishana, help me keep the boy’s secret.”

  “For Dov’s sake, not yours.”

  “Of course. I understand. But—”

  “No! Don’t ask anything more of me right now. I’ve had enough of your intrigues for one day.”

  Dara nodded and said no more.

  Chapter 44

  Evanya found Karinne in her library sanctuary, still lying on her makeshift bed, though fully awake. Books were spread everywhere, tucked around her legs, stacked on tables and piled on the floor. Obviously, Karinne had spent another sleepless night trying to drown her worries in her studies.

  “Rishana knows,” Evanya said without preamble or greeting.

  Karinne put down the ancient hide-bound book she had been reading. “How much?”

  “That the boy is Mwertik.” Evanya sat in a nearby chair.

  “And the rest?”

  “Only that we plan to use him as a bridge to the Mwertik.”

  “You told her?”

  Evanya shook her head. “I helped her recognize the brand.” She sighed. “How could any people be so barbaric, branding an infant as you would cattle? No wonder Mistral reacted as he did.”

  “Your Mistral always was a hothead.”

  “True, but can you imagine any Alleman, any civilized person, sitting still while a baby is being tortured? Not even your precious Jared.”

  Karinne ignored the taunt. “I’m not sure that I believe it was torture, any more than a tribal tattoo is. We must learn more about them before we can judge their ways.” Karinne waved her hand between them, as though to dismiss the direction of their conversation. “So, will Rishana continue?”