The Winter Boy

by Sally Wiener Grotta

  “Yes, he’s already done his harm.” Dov’s words were bitter, but his demeanor remained calm and sure, as though Mistral were distantly removed from him.

  “Dov, that’s not worthy of you. Your father honestly believed he was saving your life.”

  “Yes.” A flat acceptance of the facts.

  “Give yourself time, Dov. The wounds are still fresh.”

  “But I won’t really have that much time, will I? If they have their way, I’ll be sent out from here in a few weeks and right into the thick of it, with him.”

  “Not right away. You’ll have your apprenticeship. And if you work it well, it could give the two of you a chance to make your peace.”

  “It won’t be pleasant.”

  “That will be up to you.”

  “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? That it’s always been up to me. Not what I am or what others have done to bring me here, but what I will do about it.”

  “Yes, that’s true. I’m glad you finally understand.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. There’s a lot I don’t understand. But I don’t intend to follow blindly anymore.”

  “You weren’t exactly passive. “

  “I was a kid punching at shadows without knowing why I always felt so angry.” Even now, Dov’s voice was smooth, though he didn’t hide his chagrin.

  “I wonder which of this Season’s boys they trust enough to share your apprenticeship with you,” she reflected.

  “You mean Pa would have other apprentices?”

  “I’ve never heard of a sole apprenticeship. All Allemen are formed into Triads; you know that.”

  “Then I just won’t tell the other guys.”

  “You can’t start such an important relationship with a lie. The young Allemen you train with will become your two best friends and closest allies for the rest of your life, your Triats. You’ll need to be able to trust and depend on one another without reservation.”

  “Like Jared, Tedrac and Mistral. I wonder… how much did he tell them about me? How involved were they in his plans for me? How much farther does it go? Their Alleshi? And what of their Alleshi’s other Allemen?”

  “We must find out.”

  “Don’t you know?”

  “Until recently, I never realized how much I wasn’t told.”

  For some time, neither of them had bothered with the pretense of eating. Dov now pushed his plate away and leaned on his forearms toward her. “It hurts, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes. But in a strange way, it makes what I had even more precious. Have you ever had a dream so wondrous you didn’t want to wake up?” she asked.

  “Sounds to me like you really don’t want to learn the truth.”

  “What I want doesn’t seem to matter anymore.”

  “So what do we do now?”

  “Go forward. We have no other choice. But we’ll need to broaden your lessons, to safeguard you against whatever hazards lie ahead.”

  “Like what?”

  “How to take advantage of your new skills of perception so you can command effectively. We’ll work on your voice and posture, the subtleties that will affect people around you.”

  “It doesn’t sound like much in terms of protection.”

  “Oh, we’ll cover physical defense, too. However, sometimes the simplest craft applied in a timely manner can help divert all but the most necessary violence. For instance, on first greeting, willfully controlling what you think about the other person will affect how they will react to you for a long time.”

  “But not everyone can read the signs.”

  “Not consciously, as we do. Still, everyone reacts to nuances, even when they don’t understand why they feel a certain way about you.”

  “So, you control what you think.”

  “Not just control it, Dov. Create it, by forming specific sentences in your mind. Let me show you.” Tayar leaned back into her chair, lowered her head while she composed herself, then looked up, met Dov’s eyes directly and said, “Hello, Dov. Welcome to our Valley.” She paused, recomposed her face and then asked, “What did you feel when I said that?”

  “Happy, warm.”

  “That’s because I was thinking, ‘What a nice young man. I will enjoy knowing him.’ I said it to myself as full sentences, clearly formed.” Once more she withdrew into herself and when she looked up again, repeated the same phrase. “Hello, Dov. Welcome to our Valley.”

  “That time I felt threatened, like you were angry and wanted to tear me apart.”

  “I was saying in my mind ‘Don’t trust that boy. He’s dangerous.’”

  “So from the first moment you meet someone, you’re trying to manipulate him.”

  “When necessary, yes. Given the dangers you face, I’d prefer you have some power over how people react to you rather than needing to resort to more extreme measures.”

  “And when it doesn’t work?”

  “Then you’ll have to defend yourself in other ways. We’ll prepare you for that, too.”

  “You mean you want to teach me how to fight?”

  “No, you already know how to fight. I’m going to teach you how to win your fights.”

  “I usually win my fights.”

  “No doubt. But before coming here, your contests were with boys you knew, who had been taught to think and fight as you do. It’s much more difficult when you don’t know what to expect from your opponent.”

  “This is amazing. I thought the Alleshi were all about love and sex and understanding.”

  “So did I once. Now, I realize that power sometimes requires physical force and the willingness to use it.”

  “So, what makes us different from them? From the Mwertik?”

  “I pray that we aren’t very different from them, or that they aren’t that different from us. Because then we can hope that this can end well.”

  “Then you agree with Le’a and Pa and that other Allesha? You want to use me just like they do.”

  “I plan to protect you, and teach you how to survive. The rest will be up to you, when you decide what you want. But if you choose to help save our Peace, you will end up putting yourself in the middle of a battlefield of wills and arms, and you’ll need all the skills and help you can muster.”

  “Okay, let’s get started.” Dov stood, picking up the dishes to discard their uneaten breakfast into the scraps bin. “The goats are going to have a nice dinner,” he said as he proceeded to wash up.

  Chapter 66

  After three days of neither seeing nor hearing from Tayar and Dov, Dara/Le’a decided she’d been patient enough. She found them in Tayar’s barn. Sweaty and disheveled, the young Allesha and her boy were so intent on their grappling that they didn’t notice her standing in the doorway.

  Tayar lunged at Dov, throwing a powerful punch directly at his face. Grabbing her fist with his right hand, he turned his body to block her with his side and hip. Within the blink of an eye, she was behind him, flat on her face on a pile of hay. Dov leaned down to help pull his Allesha back up to her feet.

  “Yes, but you’re still expending too much energy.” Tayar brushed hay from her clothes and reset the band holding her braid in place. “Let my momentum do the work for you.”

  “That leaves too much to chance. What if the other guy is stronger than me and resists?”

  “If he’s stronger, his blow will be that much more powerful and his fall surer, usually.”

  “It’s that ‘usually’ I don’t like.”

  “Adjust your actions according to your opponent’s size and ability. You already know how to use force. What you need to learn is how to conserve your energy while impressing your opponent with your ease in defeating him.”

  “I’m not looking to impress him. Just beat him.”

  Tayar shook her head. “That’s not always so. For some villages, the value of a man rests in his skill in hand-to-hand combat. Can you imagine how much more respect you’d win by deflecting a flying fist effortlessly? And if it’s a fi
ght for survival, you’ll want to marshal your strength for the long battle.”

  “Okay, try me again.”

  Without pause, and taking him by surprise with her speed, Tayar threw herself at Dov. He pulled her fist past him, while blocking her body with his leg, his foot in front of her forward one, so that she fell to the ground. From her prone position, she smiled while reaching for his hand to pull her back up.

  Just as Tayar reached her feet, Le’a applauded their performance, exclaiming, “Well done!”

  Tayar spun around at the unexpected sound. “Le’a!” An unguarded edge of annoyance slipped into her voice.

  At the same time, Dov stumbled back a step, stopped himself, and crossed his arms over his chest, planting his feet firmly where he stood. “How long have you been watching us?” He didn’t exactly glare at the older Allesha, but the freeze in his tone was unmistakable.

  “Only long enough to see that smooth move of yours, Dov.” Le’a strolled toward them. “But you’re leaving yourself open at the end. Let me show you. Tayar, if you will.” Le’a motioned to the younger Allesha to come at her. “But slowly, please.”

  Tayar moved with exaggerated deliberateness, feigning an attack that allowed Le’a to easily catch Tayar’s hand in hers. “This is the critical point, when Tayar trips against my foot. As soon as I am certain of her fall…” As Tayar mimed a fall, Le’a held onto her hand a little longer than necessary. “I use her momentum to pivot me around so I can check the surrounding area for other dangers.” She turned as she spoke. “It’s a quick circle that brings me to rest above her as soon as she is fully on the ground.” Le’a gently rested her foot on Tayar’s shoulder. “Now I’m in control. My fallen opponent can’t get up, and no one can catch me by surprise.”

  Both Le’a and Dov reached to help Tayar up. Though Dov was a bit slower, being several paces away, Tayar clasped his hands and bounced onto her feet.

  Le’a chose to not allow herself to be bothered by such a minor slight. “When you fight, it’s too easy to focus only on the person closest to you. True, he may represent your most immediate danger, but not necessarily the greatest. Keep your eyes moving in a wide arc, but never lose sight of your direct opponent for longer than it takes to blink.”

  “Sure. It’s how we run in the forest, sweeping our eyes to see roots or rocks in our path, animals and branches to the side.”

  “Exactly. Why don’t you try it, Dov?”

  He braced himself in front of Le’a.

  “No, Dov. I don’t have the flexibility or strength of our Tayar.” Le’a sat down on a bale of hay. “I’ll watch safely from here, where my old bones and joints can be comfortably immobile.”

  While Dov was distracted by Le’a, Tayar rushed at him. Her fist was only a breath from his jaw when he caught it and twisted it behind him, throwing his leg in front of her, pivoting, and coming to a stop just above her, his heel resting lightly on the flesh below her shoulder. But just as he was about to lift his foot, Tayar grabbed it in both hands, and shoved upward with all her might, felling him.

  “Every maneuver has hazards.” Tayar said, looking pointedly at Le’a.

  Dov scooched over to sit next to his Allesha.

  “Yes, learn to anticipate the unexpected.” Le’a paused, waiting for Dov or Tayar to fill the silence. When they didn’t, she continued, “I wonder if you realize how unusual it is to find an Allesha and her boy of the Season practicing defense. We usually leave such matters to the Alleman who will take you on as his apprentice.”

  “It’s necessary.” Tayar’s eyes drilled into Le’a’s, daring the older woman to challenge her authority as the boy’s Allesha.

  “But to take time away from other lessons, when he has so little left in his Season.”

  “Dov knows.”

  Le’a nodded.

  “Don’t you have anything to say to me?” Dov demanded.

  “What would you have me say?”

  “You could start by apologizing.”

  “Apologize? For training an Alleman with such a good heart he couldn’t ignore an infant’s cries of terror? For allowing Mistral and Shria to keep you as their son after the three of you had bonded so deeply that you would have remained a family even if we had separated you? For praying that you might somehow help us save our Peace?”

  “No. For deceiving me. For letting me believe that after all this is over,” he gestured with a sweep of his arm at the barn and The Valley beyond it, “I could return to a normal life.”

  “Dov…” Le’a’ said softly.

  “What right do you have? “

  “Dov,” Le’a implored.

  “Sitting here so safely in this Valley, weaving your webs.”

  “Dov!” Le’a commanded his attention. “Dov, I do apologize. I wish none of this had happened. But we have to deal with whatever life brings us. Your life brought you here just when we need you.”

  “When you need me. When did you ever think about what I need? What I want?”

  “What you want? Is that really all that matters?”

  “Not the way you make it sound. But it should have counted for something. Besides, lying to me was a rotten way to start if you want me on your side.”

  “Dov, would you have come to The Valley, if you had known earlier?”

  “Probably not.”

  “Then how could we have taken that chance? Are you sorry you are here, or that Tayar is your Allesha?”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “But it’s precisely the point. Tell me, do you like the man you’ve become? Do you really think you would have been better off without our training, without Tayar’s and my guidance?”

  “You’re twisting everything around again so I’ll agree with you and think the way you want me to.”

  “No, I’m trying to help you understand.”

  “I don’t believe you care a fig for my understanding. You just want me to accept whatever you say, so you can use me as your tool.”

  “If that is what you think, then you’ve made two major mistakes.” Le’a countered. “The first was allowing me to see your antagonism and anger, forfeiting key information without getting any in exchange. The second was to confront me about it. Never back your enemy into a corner unless you have no other choice, and only after you have amassed all the ammunition you might need.”

  “Are you my enemy?” Dov asked.

  “If I were, do you think I would answer that honestly?”

  Dov stared at her without responding. Tayar rested her hand on his thigh, and he covered it with his palm. But he didn’t break his concentration. Dov sat tall and watchful, studying Le’a’s every move. Even so, his back was curved, and his limbs were draped comfortably. Everything about him displayed an intentional ease. Everything but his eyes.

  Only then did Le’a realize his question hadn’t been for the sake of answers, but to find out how she would respond. With a single decisive nod, she stood. “I’ll expect to see you tomorrow afternoon. You can ask any questions you have then.”

  “You’re leaving so readily?” Dov was still seated, though he had curled his legs under him, in an unconscious fight-or-flight posture.

  “What would you have me do?”

  “What you usually do. Argue, explain, try to shape my thoughts.”

  “Why waste my energy and your time on what would be fruitless for both of us?” Le’a offered him her hand. “Tomorrow, then.”

  After a moment’s hesitation, he clasped it and stood. “Tomorrow.” He didn’t give or accept their usual embrace.

  Tayar walked Le’a to the door, but the young Allesha said nothing as she accepted Le’a’s brushed lips on her cheeks. Le’a clamped down on her disappointment, refusing to indulge in such a trivial emotion as sadness. Still, how painful it was to recognize the end of joy in this Season. New lines of allegiance had been drawn, leaving her out in the cold.

  Chapter 67

  For four days, grey skies glowered, erupting with daily c
loudbursts that became snow at night. Muddy paths turned to treacherous ice soon after sunset, then remelted with the first daytime downpour. The mounds of shoveled snow and white field cover shrank into themselves, splattered and ugly.

  Deeply chilled, Tayar ached for the long bright days of summer. Yet she dreaded the end of winter. Dov would be gone, out into a world that was much more treacherous than she had ever imagined. Struggling against time and her own visceral distaste for violence, Tayar spent nearly every waking moment researching, developing and working new lessons on defense, strategy and tactics. Whatever happened, she was determined Dov would be armed with every tool she had within her power to give him.

  Dov returned to his daily visits to Le’a, though he no longer did it happily. Then again, these days Dov did nothing happily. Even in the inner room, he was solemn and deliberate, absorbing everything he saw, moving and speaking with care. Not that he wasn’t tender and loving. With all the shared turmoil of the past days, the sex had become even more poignant. But Tayar missed his innocent wonder — and the laughter.

  After a hearty lunch, Tayar and Dov slogged through the mud to the barn to practice yet another style of hand-to-hand combat. Their heads were down, trying to keep the rain out of their faces, so neither heard nor saw Le’a approach until she was standing in their path. Wet strings of hair were plastered to her face; her eyes were red and swollen. Grabbing Tayar by the arm, she spoke in staccato gasps. “Caith… She’ s dead.”

  Tayar staggered. “Caith?”

  Le’a nodded, tears and rain streaking her face.

  Tayar pictured the impish caretaker. The title meant more than her responsibilities for the storehouse. Caith had watched over all of them. How could she be gone? Then Tayar remembered their last conversation. “The guns!” she gasped, unaware that she had spoken out loud. The young Allesha ran toward the storehouse. Realizing Dov was following her, she yelled over her shoulder. “Stay here,” without looking back to see if he obeyed.

  Le’a/ Dara caught up with Tayar/Rishana only after the young Allesha slipped and fell in the mud. Though Rishana wasn’t injured, she slowed down to avoid another fall.