Paranormal is Relative

by S.J. Drew

Hag.”

  “That's actually a good idea. Alright, humans, we're going to see the weird crow. But follow me closely and be quiet.”

  They nodded and followed Templeton while the rabbit hopped ahead. After about fifteen minutes, the rabbit came back at full speed.

  “They must hide! Now!” it said, shaking with terror. “The Hag is coming!”

  “Quick, get in that bush,” Templeton ordered.

  The band dropped to their knees and crawled into a thicket of bushes which were luckily enough more flexible than the types of bushes used for hedges. Templeton ran around to some of the nearby flowers and hit them, which caused pollen to fly in the air. Both he and the rabbit then hid under some of those flowers and tried to look like they were asleep.

  “What are we doing?” Nora whispered irritably. “Why are we listening to animals?”

  Then they felt the temperature drop so quickly they could see their breath condensing in the air. They heard something that sounded like an insect skittering in the dirt coming towards them, only this was much louder than an insect and they assumed much larger. It was difficult to see much through the leaves, but what they did see was something quite monstrous. They could see a large, hooded and cloaked creature that was probably eight to nine feet tall. The overlarge black garment hid the thing's shape, but they could see dozens of insect-like legs sticking out from the bottom. It looked up and around, but they couldn't see its face. There were tendrils of darkness emanating from the sleeves, although they could see no hands. After a few heart-thumping moments it slowly walked away. The warmth returned to the area.

  Templeton opened one eye slowly, then jumped up and ran to them, followed by the rabbit. “That was close!”

  “What was that?” Maryann exclaimed.

  “The Hag! The Hag!” answered the rabbit.

  “That thing is terrifying! Why do you stay down here?” Isabella asked.

  “We don't stay down here all the time,” Templeton said, “and start walking. It will probably find you next time. I just come down here to get away from danger. And the Hag doesn't hurt us and usually isn't like that. It's angry, you see, and that's a problem.”

  The rabbit followed them as well, looking nervous.

  “Can I call you Pipkin?” Maryann asked.

  “Sure, sure, if you like,” it said.

  Templeton rolled its eyes.

  “That one must be from Watership Down,” Isabella commented after a few minutes.

  “That's right!”

  They followed Templeton to a sort of side alcove in the garden. “The crow's up there,” it said, gesturing up to a small nest in the mossy tunnel-face. “I'll be right back.” Templeton had no problem climbing up the uneven wall with the plants to cling to while the rabbit waited on the ground.

  “So that's why we're following the animals,” Maryann said to Nora.

  Nora still looked upset. “Yeah, I know, it's just this is one of the weirder things we've come across, and that's saying something, and I'm trying to figure it all out.”

  “I wonder what the rat meant by a 'weird crow,'” Leah said.

  In a minute, her question was answered as a crow walked out of the nest and then proceeded to walk down the wall as though it was a horizontal surface while Templeton had to navigate the moss and cliffs. While it walked, it almost seemed as though it had three legs, but they could only see two as it stood there. It looked different than the rabbit or rat with spirit sight, but none of them knew how to interpret what they were seeing.

  “Well, well, this explains both how they got here and why they can't be here,” the crow said with a very odd accent. “But how to get them out again?”

  “I was hoping I'd think of something before we got back around again,” Templeton answered.

  “You have good instincts, but there needs to be a bit more to it, I'm afraid.”

  “Can you help? The Hag just barely missed them once because of all the pollen. It won't miss them again.”

  The crow walked in a circle around them, and again appeared to have three legs. “I can. But you'll have to get them back around.”

  “What did you do?” Isabella asked, seeing their auras fade in the spirit sight.

  “I have made you less obvious to the Hag's senses. It does not see, but it does smell and it does hear. You will still need to be cautious, and perhaps clever, and possibly lucky. You do not want to get caught.”

  “What happens if we do?” Maryann asked.

  The crow blinked at them. “Just don't.”

  “Why do you stay down here with that terrible thing? Don't you want someone to try to get rid of it for you?”

  “We aren't 'someone,'” Nora said sternly.

  “Your heart is in the right place,” the crow said to Maryann, “but your friend is right. This place and the creatures in it are not your concern. I do not believe many humans could have found their way here, and should it happen again, I will try to see them back. But it is not for you to upset the order.” The crow walked up the wall again with three legs.

  The redhead looked upset, but she didn't reply.

  The crow paused at the entrance to its nest. “You should go now. My spell won't last forever. Follow the rat and the rabbit and do not touch anything unless they tell you it's safe.”

  “We weren't planning on touching anything at all,” Leah said dryly.

  “Good.” It walked back into its nest and disappeared.

  “Well, let's get going,” Templeton said. “You too, rabbit, because the crow said so.”

  Pipkin hopped nervously from one foot to the other. “Oh, that's what I get for being curious. Come on, humans. Be as fast and quiet as you can.”

  Nonplussed, the band followed the two animals, and Pipkin got more and more agitated.

  “That is neither fast nor quiet, and the crow is helping you. What is wrong with you?” it hissed at one point.

  “We don't have to be fast and quiet to survive,” Leah answered.

  Pipkin paused.

  “That's a fair point to the human,” Templeton said.

  “I suppose I can't blame them for being loud and slow,” the rabbit replied grudgingly.

  “What's the time?” Maryann said in a low voice.

  Isabella, as the only one who wore a watch because she had been in too many places without cell phone reception, answered, “It's been an hour. I mean, assuming time doesn't flow differently down here.”

  “What part of 'quiet' don't you humans understand?” Templeton snapped.

  “Sorry,” the redhead said.

  “Don't be sorry; be quiet.”

  “Sorry,” she said again.

  Templeton rolled his eyes and Pipkin shook its head. Twice more they heard the terrible wailing, but it seemed to be at quite the distance. Abruptly the ill-lit grassy tunnel turned into an ill-lit snow-covered tunnel.

  “What the hell?” Leah said as snowflakes fell from the top of the tunnel.

  The plants changed to stunted pines and other evergreens with the odd rosemary bush. There were more plants that they didn't recognize, although many seemed evergreen-like. The temperature, however, was not much colder, for which they were grateful.

  “It's just the winter garden,” Templeton said dismissively. “Hurry up. Rabbit, try to hide those prints.”

  Pipkin grabbed a fern branch in its teeth and started to sweep behind the band as the rat took the lead, although that just made a messy track instead of clean footprints.

  “This is just getting weirder,” Leah murmured.

  “And you're not getting any quieter,” Templeton retorted.

  They heard the wailing again and it seemed closer this time so they tried to hurry up. The snow-covered ground was slippery and after Maryann fell down twice, once onto a rosemary bush, they decided going faster wasn't really helping matters.

  Pipkin's whiskers quivered. “They need to hide,” it said.

 
“Quick, under this bush,” Templeton ordered.

  The band crawled under a tough, ferny bush.

  “Do you have another one of those granola things?”

  “This is no time to eat!” Maryann exclaimed.

  “No time to argue!”

  Isabella hastily pulled a bar out of her purse and gave it to the rat.

  “Come on, rabbit, and brush those tracks!” Templeton lead Pipkin to the other side of the tunnel with Pipkin hastily trying to scratch out the tracks with the branch. “Drop it and help me open this thing!” Pipkin dropped the branch and started fighting with the granola bar wrapper. Their struggle made a lot of noise.

  Fog crept down the tunnel, the temperature dropped again, and the band saw their breath condense. Then they heard the skittering sound again as the Hag walked down the hallway. Through the branches they could see the hood turn this way and that. It was distracted by the crinkling of the granola bar packaging and walked over to the side with Templeton and Pipkin. It seemed sniff the air, shake its head, and then soon moved on.

  When the Hag was a good distance away from the band, Templeton and Pipkin returned with Pipkin chewing on the granola.

  “Mmm, is this all natural?” Pipkin asked.

  “Of course!” Maryann said.

  “Ugh. You're such a granola-loving hoppy,” Templeton said with disgust.

  Leah raised an eyebrow. “I am liking this rat as much Remy.”

  The rat winked at her. “Well, we're getting there. I don't think you'll be lucky three times, so let's move.”

  Then the winter garden turned into an overgrown jungle with thick vines and brightly colored flowers.

  “Curiouser and curiouser,” Isabella commented.

  Nora raised her eyebrow.

  “You brought it up,”