DILF DIARIES_Oh Baby

by Stephanie St. Klaire

  “I could really go for a pizza,” she replied without hesitation. Jack was used to the type of women who didn’t eat at all or only ate salad — hold the dressing, cheese, croutons, and everything but the lettuce.

  “Pizza it is. I know a place.” His phone chimed as they approached a red light. Perfect time to check the text message he’d just received.

  He snickered. “Change of plans. You like tacos?”

  Only minutes later, he pulled his big red truck into the driveway at home. Several women rushed out of his house, open arms, smiles, and high-pitched chatter, mostly in Spanish.

  “Jack, they’re coming right at me. What’s going on?” Jules panicked.

  “They aren’t after you, they’re after the baby,” he laughed, unsurprised.

  Full of worry, she wrestled with her seatbelt, unsure what she should do. “What? Aren’t you going to stop them?”

  Jack just sat there, grin in place. “Nope! They brought tacos.”

  Confused, she remained in the truck while the women grabbed the baby seat and all the things they’d just purchased before heading straight back into the house. Jack was stopped at the front of the truck, apparently. He’d gotten out during the frenzy and Jules hadn’t noticed. An older woman pulled him into a big, warm embrace, despite how petite she was next to his oversized frame.

  When Jules got out of the truck, she caught the woman’s attention, who smiled just as big for her as she had Jack. “Oh, mijo, I am so proud of you. You will make a wonderful father.”

  Jules snickered at the woman’s declaration. She clearly didn’t know playboy Jack Decker and his pecker stories very well.

  “And what a lucky man to have such a beautiful woman to help you with that precious baby,” she said, grabbing Jules for hug.

  Stiff in the woman’s grip, Jules said, “Oh, we aren’t…together. I’m just his neighbor.”

  “I know, mija. His pretty neighbor. Felix told me everything.” The woman enlightened.

  Felix. Now this makes sense, she thought. Big family, lots of kids…this was his family. But why were they here? Time would likely reveal that story, but for now, Juliet needed to make one thing abundantly clear. “We barely get along, nothing in common…barely like each other.”

  As soon as she said it, she felt bad, especially given the wince Jack gave at her words.

  “I know, dear. Felix said that too. He was right about you. Feisty. Jack needs that.” And she walked off, leaving Jules looking like a deer in headlights.

  Jack laughed. “This is Felix’s family. They mean a lot to me. You get used to…all of this.”

  “I figured as much.” The woman disappeared into the house while Jules stood leaning against Jack’s truck with him.

  “They took me in when my mom died. Only family I have now.” The smile that followed was forced, masking something. It left a twinge in her chest.

  “They’re excited for you. That’s great. You’ll need a good support system, Jack.”

  Another laugh escaped him, thinking about how they support one another. “Yeah, I’m surprised they didn’t find us at the doctor’s office or while we were shopping.”

  Juliet laughed with him. The idea of that was funny to her. She came from a big family, but they weren’t close. She admired what she’d already witnessed from Felix’s family and wished she had an ounce of that too. Felix seemed like a good guy, and now she understood why. Maybe some of that had rubbed off on Jack, after all. Seeing their response to him, and his to them…perhaps he wasn’t as bad as she had thought.

  “Felix’s family owns the Mexican restaurant downtown—” he started, but she cut him off before he could finish.

  “Oh! Jalapenos? That’s actually my favorite restaurant! It’s right by the hospital!”

  “Then you’re in for a treat.” Jack slung an arm around her shoulders while walking up to the house, and this time, she didn’t shoo him off.

  Probably because Rosie brought tacos.

  When Felix said his sister was bringing a few odds and ends, he should have said your house is about to look like Babies R Us. There was baby stuff everywhere, and they were enjoying every minute of getting to know Ramsey and organizing her new little world. It was all over Jack’s head, though.

  He couldn’t decide why the kid needed more than a place to sleep, poop, and eat. The rest of the stuff they brought was just nonsense. At least, that’s what he thought. A diaper pail? What was wrong with the garbage? A baby bath? He had three perfectly good bathrooms, two of which had bath tubs big enough for full-sized people. A swing…now that one really got his goat. She couldn’t even sit up, how the hell was she supposed to use that? It wasn’t like she was going to tell him she wanted to swing. He just kicked back and let them have their fun while he got used to the whole idea.

  The best part was they brought books. Baby books. Like how to be a parent and take care of a baby type books. Jack just referred back to his earlier assessment — what was there to learn other than she needed to sleep, eat, and poop? How hard could it be? Maybe when she was older, and dating was an issue, someone would like books on how to deal with that, but he laughed them off, because this could still be temporary. And because he had more help than he really needed.

  The group ate, had fun, and passed Ramsey around so she could get to know her extended family. She was happy and did a lot more of that smiling thing — the dimple got him every time. She didn’t have to be his to see she was a cute kid. It also wasn’t lost on him that Juliet was immediately treated like family. That pleased him just as much as how much they already adored Ramsey, though he wasn’t sure why. It seemed to please her too.

  “I better get going,” Jules said. “Thank you for the food. It was amazing. I really loved getting to know all of you.”

  “You come see us at the restaurant and I’ll make you a real meal,” Rosie said, hugging her until it hurt.

  “I just may take you up on that. Thank you.” Apparently, the Munoz family was full of huggers. Jules wasn’t get out of there until everyone said goodbye with the same big, warm embrace.

  After the longest goodbye she’d ever experienced, Jack finally walked her to the door. “You sure you gotta go? There’s more food, and Ramsey seems to really like you.” He was stalling. He didn’t want her to leave him alone, and quickly decided it was only because he didn’t want to be alone with the baby — nothing more.

  “I have to work. You’ll be fine. Ramsey is a good baby and you have plenty of help in there.” She placed a reassuring hand on his strong arm, then immediately pulled it away when she felt him flex and a low burning fluttered through her belly. “Make sure you read all those books they brought while you have extra hands around. There’s a lot to learn about babies.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that. Uh…thanks for everything today.” His appreciation was genuine.

  With a quick smile, she stepped out onto the porch. “You bet. Have a good night. I hope Ramsey goes easy on you.”

  “Oh, Rosie has an overnight bag. Said she’d stay and help me and Ramsey…get acquainted and on a schedule or something.” Jack had a lackadaisical demeanor, which earned him a concerned vibe from Jules.

  “That’s great…that you have help, I mean.” The shrug of his shoulders and cocky grin felt too detached and easy going. This guy just didn’t get it. “Don’t waste it. Learn everything you can, because the help, it’s all temporary. Don’t blow it, Jack.”

  Plunging his hands into his pockets, he crossed one ankle over the other and leaned into the doorframe with an unconcerned and overly relaxed look about him. “I’m not worried about it. They’ve got my back, and Ramsey’s now too.”

  The wink he ended with did it for her. “Jack, they all have lives. Family or not, they—”

  “That stick bugging you, Jules? Getting a little bossy again. Thought we were past that.” His words carried a sudden edge that caught Jules by surprise.

  “Pffft. Are you serious?” Jules felt used. Now that
he had what he needed, and the reinforcements were there, he went back to being a dick. “Once a frat boy, always a frat boy. Good luck, Pecker.”

  Jules stormed off and didn’t look back.

  CHAPTER 4

  “I just can’t believe it, man,” Rafe said as the guys sat around a table at the firehouse. “It’s like the stork thing is real, bro.”

  “Believe it,” Jack said. “When they teach you where babies come from in school, they don’t mention the front porch.”

  Jack and his crew filled the mess hall, ready to devour dinner while waiting for their next call. He’d been a maybe dad for a few days now, and everything was going great. He had no idea why people complained so much and needed breaks from their kids. Ramsey was easy. Maybe he just got lucky. While he was at work, Rosie and her daughters helped watch Ramsey. Since this was all still potentially temporary, Jack hadn’t looked for a more permanent child care solution. He really didn’t need to — he already had ‘round the clock care.

  Marty chimed in from behind them where she was preparing to serve the dinner she made, buffet style, “How about you just focus on keepin’ it in your pants next time and you won’t have to worry about babies being delivered to your door. That goes for all you boys — unless you’re married, then you’ll wanna let it out or you won’t stay married.”

  Marty handled administrative tasks at the house. She also served as more of a den mother type to the men, making sure they always had what they needed. Marty kept them in check and took care of them — even on her days off. Like today, when she decided to come in and make her famous cornbread and chili for the crew.

  “You better get your shit together, boy.” With the knife she used to cut the cornbread still in her hand, she aimed it at Jack. “You may be cute and charming, but babies don’t buy that crap. It’s time you finally grew up and set an example for these young hotshots so they don’t find themselves with babies on their doorstep too.”

  Jack had been walking around the table, showing the guys pictures of Ramsey on his cell phone. Ramsey didn’t have to be his to think she was cute and show off the dimple so much like his. When he got to Marty, he slung an arm over her shoulder and held the phone out in front of her with his other hand. With her glasses perched at the end of her nose, she tilted her head back and looked down through the thick lenses at the screen. Marty started to grin, but caught herself. “You’ve seen one baby, you’ve seen them all. Now, clean this place up — looks like a tornado passed through here. Just because I cooked a decent meal for ya, doesn’t mean I’m cleanin’ for ya too. No food until it’s done.”

  “Ah, Marty,” Rafe whined, hoping to charm his way out of cleaning and get straight to eating. “You do it better than we do.”

  “I’m only feeding you because someone had to. Can’t have a bunch of pussy firemen fainting on the job because they binged on cupcakes and twinkies then pumped too much iron to look good for the ladies,” Marty lit in. “Unless your mammies are here, you’re cleanin’ up after yourselves, ya hooligans. And, Jack, you bring that baby around, don’t you be expecting me to watch it.”

  Jack just grinned as he dished up his food. Spoiled.

  Days had passed since Jules’ broody encounter with Jack, and he hadn’t been kidding. He had help. A lot of help. The Munoz family had been taking turns helping with Ramsey, day in and day out, while they waited for answers and the dust to settle. Rosie stayed over for the nightshift without fail. It seemed Jack’s life hadn’t changed much at all.

  Jules would see him outside washing his truck — no baby.

  She witnessed him going to work — no baby. Obviously.

  He was even making his daily runs without missing a beat — no baby. Sure, that would be weird unless he had one of those fancy strollers all the mommy walkers had, and he clearly didn’t, but that was beside the point. The point was: Jack found out he fathered a child, a surprise baby, and his world wasn’t rocked and shook upside down. He went from playboy gigolo to Mr. Dad overnight — that should have constituted a drunken fit, mental breakdown, or at least a panic attack. A few nerves aside on what Jules liked to call delivery day, he was normal, chill Jack. Probably a male slut still, because that just doesn’t go away.

  He had people doing him favors. Lots and lots of favors, because poor playboy had a little surprise and everyone wanted to fix it for him. Hell, even she was repaying favors for Jack and had gone to coffee with Dr. Detweiler a few times and had dinner once, albeit in the hospital food court. Detweiler was good to Jack and Ramsey, even squeezed her in and helped locate medical records, which was a great help. He was pretty to look at, but he liked to talk medicine — probably because they were both in the field and he assumed it was their thing. Not Jules. She left work at work — for a reason.

  It wasn’t all bad. Jase Detweiler was kind, attentive, and genuinely cared about what she had to say, no matter what she discussed. Maybe he was worth pursuing. He was hot husband material and making the national average of two and three-quarter babies with him couldn’t be that bad. Plus, he kept her mind off Jack. Sort of.

  She found herself comparing the two often, always negotiating why Detweiler was the better pick. As if Jack was an option to begin with. The idea of him made the vein in her forehead pop so much, she decided it deserved its own identity. Jackass was the only name that seemed to stick, though, because it had his name written all over it.

  Jack was cocky, arrogant, and a total playboy who wouldn’t get out of her head and leave her alone. Maybe, subconsciously, she didn’t want him to leave her alone. He was dirty, filthy, and rumors of Jack Decker’s famous pecker were what medical journals on infectious disease were built on. It was only a matter of time before his pecker landed him in her emergency room looking for antibiotics.

  Turned out, he was also a DILF, according to Stormy. Jules made the mistake of bringing it up over coffee after yoga. Apparently, when a single man had a child, he was a dad, Stormy had said. Duh. And when he was a hot dad, he was a DILF. Jules stomach turned when Stormy spelled it out for her — Dad I’d Like to Fuck. As if he weren’t already every woman in town’s dirty dream, he was now the DILF of their dreams.

  She didn’t care how hot he was, or how good he was with his legendary member. Juliet Walker wasn’t going for a ride on his screamin’ engine or using his hose for anything. There weren’t enough antibiotics in the world to convince her otherwise.

  “I’ve already got Jesus, and I bought too many cookies from the last little group of girls,” Jules hollered at whoever was on the other side of her door. When the knocking continued, she swung the door open, and said, “The sign says no soli­citing.” Jules’ jaw dropped when she saw just who her solicitor was.

  “Jules, I’ve been such an ass.” Jack stood on her front porch, his head hung low and hands shoved deep in his pockets. “I think the shock of finding out Ramsey is my daughter — that I even had a daughter — got the best of me. I’m not trying to make excuses, I just want to apologize.”

  “Wow. Um…I really don’t know what to say,” Jules replied. The last thing she thought she would find on the other side of the door was Jack and an apology. “Thank you?”

  “You were good to me, helped us when you didn’t have to, and I just…took it all for granted,” he admitted.

  “I suppose something as big as finding out you’re a dad would make a person act out of character.” She shrugged, her forgiveness genuine. She did, however, wonder where all of this was coming from.

  “Truth is, I respect you. I always have, and maybe I was a little intimidated. All those other women just don’t compare to you, and definitely do nothing for the craving I have, no matter how many of them I bang.” Jack’s words were an odd choice, but stole her breath just the same. He wasn’t a whore, he just liked…sex. “The parties…well, they always got you outside. I was kind of hoping I’d be brave enough to ask you out or at least invite you in.”

  “Wow, Jack. I had no idea.” Jules was floor
ed. His tactics were nothing more than misguided flirting. He wasn’t provoking her, pining for her, and currently pouring his heart out. He needed to work on that; it wasn’t very becoming. She was intrigued, though, willing to listen to more. “Come inside. It’s hot out there. Let’s…talk.”

  A Cheshire cat grin draped across his smug jaw. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Jack was so quick to step inside, she was barely able to clear the doorway. Their proximity was so narrow, she could smell the mingling of his cologne and hot musky man. Those deep belly flutters returned. Jules looked up, meeting his menacing stare that suggested anything but talking. With each step she took back, he matched by keeping the space between them tight enough to feel each other’s pulse racing and almost hear each other’s dirty thoughts.

  With her back to the wall, and Jack pressed firmly against her, his hard length resting across her belly. She kicked the door closed with her foot, disconnecting the view they had been giving the neighbors before it became X-rated.

  That’s where this day was going, Jules had no doubt. As it turned out, she wasn’t immune to his charm after all. It was one thing to say and think the things she had about the hard-bodied man pinning her to the wall in her foyer, but who the hell was she kidding? Jack “The Pecker” Decker wanted to show her his hose. And for some reason, referring to it as his hose no longer sounded cute, funny, or sexy. She was about to ride his cock. And given the bulge against her belly, it was going to be a long, broad, and bouncing ride. If she could still walk the next day, she’d know she didn’t bounce nearly hard enough to truly experience the legend.

  Jules wrapped her arms around Jack’s neck and slid her leg up his thigh, tilting her hips just enough to feel all the right things in all the right places. Dropping his mouth to hers, Jack dragged his hands down her body to the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head, briefly breaking their kiss. He smiled at the sight of her braless, and filled his mouth with each of her breasts, one at a time. Odd, she could have sworn she’d put one on when she got dressed.