A Light Within

by Darlene Mindrup

  Climbing the stairs to her bed chamber, Brianna went first to her knees to petition the Lord on Garek’s behalf, then she went to the box beside the fire where the puppy lay sleeping.

  She smiled as she listened to its little grunts. She hadn’t as yet named him, and decided perhaps that would be an appropriate name: Grunt.

  Laughing, she reached down to stroke the dog. “Nay,” she told it softly. “You must needs have a regal name to make up for your shortcomings in life.”

  The puppy woke and began nuzzling her hand. Lifting him from the box, Brianna took up the makeshift feeder and let him have his way with it. Milk drizzled down the sides of its mouth and onto her gunna.

  “Garek would call you merely ‘hound,’ but we know you are something special, do we not?”

  The pup continued to feed greedily at the glove finger, heedless of all else, while Brianna pondered a name for him.

  “I know. I shall call you Loup. Perhaps you will live up to your name and be a bold and cunning hunter.”

  It never occurred to her that she had chosen the French version of the word. What would Garek think of her naming the dog after the wolves that roamed the countryside? Perhaps he would never know. She again felt a pang at the thought that she might never see him again. What would happen to her then? Already she missed him unbearably, and he had only been gone moments.

  Days turned into weeks and still there was no word from Garek. Even Bolson began to fret at his delay in returning.

  “I was not meant to be lord of an English manor,” he told Brianna. “If anything, I would prefer my home in Normandy.”

  Brianna smiled as she laid a platter of meat before him. “Do you dislike us then so much, Sir Bolson?”

  His eyes went past her to Mary, who was serving the other men. “Nay. It is not the English I dislike, though there are some I could easily lay a sword to.”

  Brianna followed his look. Mary was laughing with a young man who had been conscripted to help Gaylan in the castle. His ruddy good looks and cheerful disposition had made him a favorite with both Brianna and Mary. The boy was eager to work and anxious to please.

  If one could call him a boy. At a score plus four he was a man, but to Brianna he still seemed a youth, though he was but two years younger than she—and the same age as Mary.

  Grinning, Brianna left the trencher on the table before Sir Bolson and returned to the kitchen. She opened the door that led outside to a back courtyard and descended the steps to where a small herb garden was located.

  Walking along the path, she stared up at the stars. A fortnight had come and gone, and still no word from Garek. Was he all right? Had William perhaps sent him off to battle some other enemy now that the English had been subdued?

  Pulling her shawl tightly about her, she sat down on a large stone. She sucked in her breath as the cold of the rock penetrated her clothes.

  Instead of returning to the warmth of the keep, she moved so that the breeze blowing from the north no longer hit her full force. She needed time to think, and this was the best place to do it.

  Lifting her eyes to the sky, she once again entreated the Lord on Garek’s behalf.

  “Wherever he is, Lord, keep him safe.”

  ❧

  Garek studied the same stars that night, in London. He missed Brianna more than he ever thought it was possible to miss anyone. He missed her soothing presence, her soft laugh, her gentle teasing. She was on his mind constantly. Especially since the dreams had returned.

  The balcony door opened behind him and King William walked out.

  “There you are, Garek. I have been looking for you.”

  Bowing low, Garek gave the man his attention. “I am sorry, Sire. I did not know.”

  “Come back inside, man; you will freeze to death out here.”

  Garek followed his king back inside. What was it William wanted from him? It had been over a fortnight and still he had no idea why he had been summoned.

  He followed the king across the lavishly decorated ballroom to the dais at the end. William seemed to be waiting for something, his eyes continually going to the room’s entrance.

  “Have a seat, Garek,” he told his knight, indicating the table to his right. “I have a surprise for you.”

  The sounds in the room jangled Garek’s nerves. He hated crowds, royal ones or not. He longed for the peace and quiet of his own hall.

  Smiling wryly, he shook his head slightly. How was it that he had changed so much in just the last few months? Several women had tried to strike up a conversation with him, but even the most beautiful had stirred only a passing interest in him. Instead, he continually saw huge, innocent blue eyes in his mind.

  A trumpeting fanfare brought the room to instant stillness.

  “His lord, the Earl of Waverly, and his lovely daughter Marie,” the herald intoned regally.

  Garek noticed the smile that lit William’s face when the man was announced. Earl Waverly made his way to the king’s throne, bowing low. His daughter dropped into a curtsy, her beguiling smile charming the king into returning it.

  They began an animated conversation that held no interest for Garek. He lifted his cup and began to study the people around him.

  When a shadow fell over him, he lifted his eyes to encounter William’s smiling face.

  “Garek, come with us. We have something to discuss with you.”

  The “us” in question seemed to include the earl and his young daughter.

  Rising to his feet, Garek followed them from the ballroom to the king’s counsel chambers. The king motioned for them to be seated.

  “Garek, my friend, I have talked with my oldest and dearest friend, Earl Waverly, and he has agreed. . .”

  Garek frowned in confusion. “Sire?”

  William laughed. “I am sorry, Garek, you have no idea of the plans we have been hatching, have you?”

  Garek looked from one man to the other. William was pleased with whatever plan he had devised, but the earl’s look could only be described as smug.

  And the girl? What had she to do with anything? She looked perfectly content, her beautiful face devoid of any emotion.

  William continued. “The earl has agreed to allow you to marry his daughter.”

  seven

  Garek paced up and down in the antechamber, slamming his fist into his palm. Never in his wildest imaginings could he have expected this from William.

  There was something in William’s voice that convinced Garek that this was no request. Obviously, there was a purpose behind this marriage proposal, but he had yet to find out what it was.

  He glared around him at the rich surroundings. Gritting his teeth, he jerked a beautiful brocade tapestry from the wall where it hung, flinging it to the floor. Perhaps that was not wise, but it had given him immeasurable satisfaction.

  What excuse had he given William before he fled the room? He couldn’t remember, but he knew William would expect him to return, and in a timely manner. It would not do to offend the earl and his beautiful daughter.

  Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself. He must have his wits about him, and his anger did little toward achieving that goal. If he wanted to know the king’s reasoning, then he had better return to the king’s counsel chambers. He could always say no.

  Garek laughed without mirth. Indeed he could say no, offending the earl, losing favor with the king, and in all likelihood winding up a pauper with no country to speak of. Either that or lose his head.

  He knew his reasoning must be faulty, for William was a rational man not prone to imprudent decisions. Which brought his thoughts full circle to the objective for this marriage.

  Swallowing his rage and frustration, Garek returned to the king and his companions.

  The earl was studying him through narrowed eyes, probably wondering if the king had chosen rightly.

  As for William, he continued much as though the conversation had never ceased.

  “Jonathan has been a good friend to m
e, Garek. Loyal beyond most, even though that loyalty cost him his lands in England.”

  Garek waited for him to continue, his look settling on the earl’s daughter. What was her name? Ah, yes, Marie. She sat with lowered lashes, a picture of genteel innocence. Garek wondered just how innocent she was in the scheme of things.

  “Jonathan’s lands were given by Harold to another English lord, therefore he has no more lands to call his own,” William continued. “His daughter’s marriage to you would serve two purposes. One, he would be assured that his children and grandchildren would have their rightful inheritance. Second, he would have the protection of one of my finest knights, as well as a bond between one of France’s finest families and one of England’s.”

  William certainly was logical. Garek couldn’t fault his reasoning. Many a knight would jump at the chance, and it was true the damsel was fair to look upon. Rarely had he seen such a beautiful woman.

  When she looked up at him, her green eyes were vacant, and Garek knew she was hiding her own feelings in the matter. Such women made him uncomfortable. He much preferred Brianna’s open honesty.

  He couldn’t tell her hair color, it being hidden beneath her cloth wimple, but her lashes were a dark auburn, highlighting her creamy white complexion.

  When she dropped her lashes, Garek turned back to the king. “Am I then to suppose that the lands your majesty has deeded to me are those belonging to Earl Waverly?”

  “Nay, Garek,” William answered. “Jonathan’s lands were deeded to some of the barons and earls of Harold’s choice. Those lands I cannot give back to him for they were part of the agreement made with these men to lay down their arms.”

  “I see.”

  Indeed he did. He understood William’s reasoning, but why had he chosen Garek? Other knights had families just as noble, if not more so.

  “Yours is not the only marriage being arranged, Garek. I need trusted men in strategic places. For the security of France. For the security of England. Do you understand?”

  Garek understood. This was a royal command, not a choice. He owed William his allegiance. He had sworn it to him. But did this include a choice of a life mate? He had no desire to marry again. He would never put his trust in another woman. But such a marriage as William proposed held no such concern for him, for he didn’t love the woman in question.

  And what of the girl herself? Had she any thoughts on the matter? He would like to know, but he knew her father would make that impossible. At least for now.

  “I understand, Sire.”

  William’s face was wreathed in smiles. “Good. I knew that you would not let me down, Garek.”

  The rest of the evening passed in a fog for Garek, his thoughts in turmoil. He excused himself from the festivities as soon as possible and found his way to his bed chamber.

  The dream returned that night and the darkness was even more intense than before. This time Marie Waverly stood in his way as he tried to reach the light. He couldn’t get around her, and as he watched, the light grew farther and farther away until he was at last left in total inky blackness.

  ❧

  Three months after he had left, word came that Garek was on his way and would reach them by nightfall. Brianna hurried to set things to right and make sure a hot meal would be awaiting him.

  She couldn’t deny the excitement she felt at the prospect of seeing him again, but she also was fearful of what his thoughts were concerning her, since he had been away so long.

  He had been kind to her, but she had to admit that, except for that one tender kiss, he had shown her little that could be construed as romantic interest. If anything, he had been indifferent at best.

  Bolson found her in the kitchen as she was about to mix batter for the bread.

  “Garek has sent word to prepare two bed chambers for guests who will be arriving with him this eventide.”

  “Guests?” Hastily Brianna dropped the bowl on the table, untying the rag from around her waist.

  “I know not who these guests are,” Bolson told her, “but they will be staying for quite some time.”

  Brianna hurried from the kitchen. Calling two of the serving maids, she made haste to prepare two of the better rooms on the third floor that were as yet unoccupied.

  It had been a long time since this manor had experienced such excitement. Brianna felt excitement as she found fresh bedding for the rooms. Was it the thought of guests, or was her happiness due to the lord’s return?

  Mary was in the kitchen, already preparing a feast, when Brianna came back.

  “So, his lordship returns. Perhaps that is the cause for the sparkle in your eyes,” Mary jested, throwing Brianna a teasing glance.

  “In that case, the gleam in your own eyes must needs be from knowing that Sir Hormis has returned with him.”

  Surprised, Mary whirled on Brianna. “In truth?”

  “Yea, you did not know?”

  “Nay,” she answered slowly, the gleam in her eyes growing brighter with her own thoughts. “But it is good news nonetheless.”

  Brianna began to lay the platters with cheese and meat. It concerned her that Mary played so lightly with Sir Bolson’s affections, for it was obvious that the knight was taken with her. He would make a fine husband for Mary, though there was no telling where the man’s thoughts lay on that issue.

  Everything was ready when the watchman finally called from the tower. Dusk was just settling over the countryside, and the temperature was beginning to drop, though they were far from the icy cold of winter.

  Instead of a few riders, Garek was at the head of a long retinue. Brianna’s heart gave a leap when she spotted him head and shoulders above everyone.

  She searched his face and found it held no hint of his thoughts.

  At his side was a tall man, his dark hair streaked with gray. Though he wore it long in the manor of the English, his face was clean shaven. He was a handsome man and would be handsomer still if he would smile, Brianna thought.

  Behind him, a beautiful woman sat perched atop a lovely black mare. Unconsciously, Brianna’s mouth dropped open, her eyes wide. Never had she seen such a beautiful woman. Her features were perfect, and there was no smile upon her fair face.

  Another woman followed this one, and Brianna assumed she must be the fair woman’s guardian, or nurse, for she was much older than the other.

  In the hubbub of activity surrounding her, Brianna found Garek’s eyes watching her. He hastily turned away, going to the young woman and helping her from her steed.

  Brianna felt a twinge of jealousy as the woman laid her hand possessively on Garek’s arm. What was this woman to Garek? Had he perchance found himself another wife while in London? Perhaps he had finally laid to rest the dark demons of his past. If so, she would be glad for him, though her heart felt as though it were breaking.

  She shook away such thoughts. Here she was imagining the worst, and she had yet to meet the lady.

  Refusing to meet Brianna’s look, Garek led the procession into the great hall and bid them find seats near the fire.

  Although Garek had avoided Brianna, he was aware of her with every fiber of his being. He had wondered how he would feel after seeing Brianna again—now he knew. His heart had raced at the sight of her and he had found it hard to keep his thoughts in check. Her soft blue eyes were everything he remembered. Innocent. Untouched. Gentle. And though she was probably unaware, glowing with love.

  Sir Hormis made his presence known immediately. His laughter did much to dispel the gloom that seemed to have fallen over the castle. Instead of rejoicing, there seemed to be an anxious expectation that something disagreeable were about to happen.

  Mary bustled about with serving platters, as did Brianna and several others. Garek rose to his feet, lifting a horn of ale into the air.

  “A toast,” he boomed, and sudden quiet descended. Garek’s gaze roamed the hall, resting momentarily on Brianna. He turned back to the man at his side. “To my future father and my future br
ide.”

  If the room was quiet before, not a sound could be heard now.

  Brianna’s heart wrenched at the announcement, although she had expected something of the sort. Somehow, she had known it all along.

  Abruptly the room broke into cheers, and Brianna saw Garek fall back into his seat. She knew he was watching her, but she resisted looking his way again.

  Garek’s men surged as one to Garek’s side, thumping him on the back and offering congratulations. The room grew loud with their revelry.

  When the opportunity presented itself, Brianna left the hall and returned to the kitchen. Taking a wrap from behind the door, she called to Loup, who hastily rose from his place by the kitchen fire.

  Brianna exited the kitchen by the back stairs and found her favorite spot in the garden. She dropped to her knees, hugging Loup tightly. Her tears wet his fur, and the pup pulled back from her, struggling against her tight grip.

  Reaching up, Loup began to lick the tears from her face, his soft whine telling of his confusion at these strange proceedings.

  Brianna let him go, getting to her feet and making her way to the bench that overlooked the marshes at the rear of the castle. How long she sat thus she didn’t know, but the sudden creaking of the kitchen door brought her head around.

  She wasn’t surprised to see Garek standing there, though he made no move to come to her. With the light spilling out from behind him, Brianna could barely make out his features. His wary gaze wandered over her face, noting the tracks from her tears.

  Brushing away the remnants, Brianna tried to smile. She managed a faltering twist of the lips. “I am pleased to see you well, milord.”

  “And I you,” he returned softly. He started to descend the stairs when he was brought up short by a low growl. Surprised, he turned to find himself being eyed by the young pup, his ears pinned close to his head and his chest heaving with his puppy growl.

  Brianna went and lifted him into her arms, cuddling him close. “Shhh, Loup. Sir Garek is a friend.”

  “Is this the pup you rescued from death?”

  “Yea. As you can see, he is alive and well.”