The Brooke-Rose Omnibus

by Brooke-Rose, Christine

  — Yes, yes, all right. But calm down. It really doesn’t matter any more we’ve had fun haven’t we?

  — We have played those games mein Lieber. Yes. But if it doesn’t matter to you why did you once make it matter to me? For what? Just the need to belong and to obey? Look where that got us before.

  Such conversations do occur occasionally representing more or less truly something there no doubt and a small clutch of anguish perhaps moving up quickly to the distant brain way up with where when and to whose heart did one make anything matter?

  In Istanbul, considered one of the most beautiful cities in the world, you will find a land of legends and history where East and West come face to face. Its legendary history starts in the eighth century B.C. Founded by the Megarions and called Byzantium after Byzas, their commander, it soon became a trade centre because of dein Brust like a mosque domed on the night-sky my hallowed structure like a minaret piercing the Milky Way with all that gorgeous calligraphy institutionalised and dead.

  A la recherche des amours perdues. Lisez l’émouvante histoire de Marie-Félicie de Montmorency. Chantilly 1650. The calendar between the two mirrors shows a beautiful of course Japanese girl in a kimono against lake and pagoda beneath the letters in red ZETINA. Dikiş makina radiolan. Elle aima Monsieur de Montmorency de tous les amours qu’on peut imaginer, car elle n’aima que lui. Above the mirror hangs a pale green sign with large black squiggles on it. The Turkish ladies occupy each hairdresser’s loving attention with tall complicated styles regardless of other waiting femininities less confident, every strand here, no there, a little more forward and you’ve brushed the curl right out of it please use the tongs or the Turkish equivalent and taking literally the final Va-bene-così gesture with the mirror held to the back of the head and no, no-va-bene or the Turkish equivalent please brush it out back-comb it re style again and again ancora. Un amour de soutien-gorge. Ça pigeonne formidablement. The man talks to the mirrored reflection of the lady and the lady talks to the mirrored reflection of the man. Seen from the profile they do not proffer anger dissatisfaction and polite attempt to please at each other at all but only at the mirror. Votre déodorant. Choisissez-le sérieusement chez votre pharmacien. What does that mean? Madame? Up there. Ah. Arabe. Je ne sais pas madame. Just vital mysteries lost, euphemised into proverbs for the day. I wouldn’t mind if they’d got stuck in the eighteenth century or the seventeenth but the nineteenth ugh. Ça va comme ça madame? Oui, merci, teşekkür ederim. Lutfen madame. Allaha ısmalardık. Güle-güle! So go the thankyous the goodbyes the welgohome in the smattering of the mouthpiece at twenty-nine or forty-five even and the baby-face stares out of lather under the letters Müjde! PEARS bebek sabonu—Lux sabonu hayranım. Hayramm. Turkish ladies surely. Hayranım lutfen. Hayranım? Er—la toilette s’il vous plaît. Ah au fond à gauche madame. Merci. Tuvalet. ERKEK. KADIN. Of course KADIN. Ka-dın ka-dın ka-dın. Not hayranım which looked up in the pocket-dictionary says haylaz faul, hayli viel, hayran verwundert where when and to whose heart did one do that?

  In Izmir (ancient Smyrna) you will find everything for your convenience and pleasure. The city has an admirable position at the end of the bay of the same name. With its hot dry summers and mild rainy winters mild indeed, does it say mild? Well, if you will arrange your Archaeologists Congresses in January. True, madam, but most of us go on digs during the summer. In England for example, at Stonehenge where I have special Wiltshire? How interesting. It forms a perfect centre for visiting the ancient ruins of Ephesus, Pergamon, Troy. Oh, you know Wiltshire? Quite well. Have you ever visited Stonehenge? Where stones talk walk make love have fun until they come to a standstill. Of course. Ah, well, then you will take a special interest I hope in my paper on the relationship between Stonehenge and Mycenae. The lintels you see, constructed by the fire-breathing wolf under the letters Petrol Ofısı and above Güle-güle means that the grey-lined bus stretches its innumerable armchairs towards the axe-motif you see passing a place called Yavaş in black letters on yellow. The Archeological Museum, situated in the Kültür (Culture) Park, houses the objects brought from Izmir, Ephesus, Pergamon, Sardes, Aydin, Mügla, Denizli and Miletos. But perhaps you wouldn’t agree? Yavaş. I ought to introduce myself professor William Something didn’t quite catch your name, excuse me, I probably know you, at least, your work in your own field? Oh no, no field at all, just translation you know. Oh? From English? Into what? From French into German. German? Ah. Do you like it? I mean, the work? Do you find the technical jargon hard to follow? Well on one level Yavaş, er, well yes in a way. But everything comes with practice. Even archeology? Everything, excuse me, Monsieur le Président? Oui madame from the seat in front vous voulez du feu? No thank you but we keep passing a place called Yavaş, not on the map have we gone round in madame no wonder, Yavaş means slow. Ah, voilà, merci monsieur. De rien madame. How do you mean everything? Oh, archeology, medicine, irrigation, economic aid for the under-developed areas and so forth. Goodness, do you work it up in advance? A bit, yes. At least the relevant jargon. But one soon learns, and then forgets, you see one has to understand immediately because the thing understood slips away, together with the need to understand. Oh. We even had a conference of archetypologists in Athens last week. Archetypologists? Well, you know, a sort of mixture of mythologists, psychiatrists and structural anthropologists. Structural? What do you mean structural? Well they didn’t make it very clear themselves, really, sometimes it seems to mean the structure of primitive societies, or perhaps the structure of the system they use to make sense of it all, sometimes the structure of myths, you know, up into the sky or down into the earth. Ah yes, of course. Unless they meant perhaps the structure of the imagination itself. Oh I see, the imagination. How fascinating.

  Where when and to whose heart did one do that? Do what and what difference does it make? None except by subtraction from the marked masculine and unmarked feminine or vice versa as the language of a long lost code of zones lying forgotten under layers of thickening sensibilities creeps up from down the years into no more than the distant brain way up to tickle an idle thought such as where when and to whose heart did one do that?

  In Troy, located at the entrance of the Dardanelles, 32 kilometres from Çanakkale, on a mount near where the rivers of Dümurek (Symois) and Menderes (Scamander) join together, lie the ruins of the city whose renown Homer of Izmir (ancient Smyrna) sang and spread all over the world, the city whose walls rose to the legendary sound of music or circular dance, creating an invisible magic wall of defence undone by Achilles when he dragged Hector’s body round it anti-clockwise to the horror of all concerned. The true history of Troy, however, continues from 3000 B.C. up to the Roman period. Archeologists have discovered nine settlements from nine different civilisations, nine cities over one another in Troy, naming them Troy I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX. According to the American Blegen Troy VIIa represents the Troy of Homer.

  — How very disappointing.

  — Well, yes, most non-specialists find it disappointing. I suppose you only see just a rubbish of stones labelled Troy I, Troy II and so forth. But I assure you it means much more than that to us. Not of course, like Stonehenge or Mycenae. But I mustn’t bore you with my pet theories again, you will hear them at tomorrow’s session and anyway you don’t have to translate me. Nevertheless in exchange for your charming company on this excursion will you allow me to take you round and explain in simple terms I hope just what it all means?

  Troy I, Troy II. This layer belongs to the Bronze Age. Schliemann thought that this represented Homer’s Troy. But he bulldozed his way to find Priam’s treasure silly ass, destroying everything. Sometimes the stones make up some sort of shape the bathroom door to the left of the entrance stuck in the nineteenth century or the paved ramp to the right. Sometimes the squares of rubble have walls with pillars at the centre contemporary with the Hittites unless the wash-basin stands on one leg lilac green blue yellow showing a new development. According to Blegen some men enjoy i
mparting their enthusiasm to furry-eyed ladies of thirty-nine and plus not one of which deserves a moment of attention. The younger interpreters however Joceline English into French and Sandra vice versa with un amour de soutien-gorge qui pigeonne formidablement and even Robert German into French get more surrounded with more tributes to their youth. They seem a different species altogether who learn from listening and live simultaneously all channels alert on all levels unless they merely block off different ones as yet unknown and unimportant or reduce them all to manageable size with poise and instant knowledge. Nevertheless some sort of homage gets paid to mere seniority perhaps from the specialist on Stonehenge and Mycenae who says the walls do not form an arc but a polygon. An earthquake destroyed Troy I you can tell by the fact that in this air-conditioning and other circumstances of pressurised excitation you have nothing to declare such as love desire ambition just personal effects like furry eyes qui font trembler mon coeur de fol espoir. A fire destroyed this second city. A fire destroyed Troy VI in 1250 B.C. But the wall here remains and almost certainly formed part of Troy VII, the famous wall you know. A fire destroyed Troy VI in 900 B.C. You can tell by the fact that in these circumstances of emptiness freedom has its inebriating attractions as the body floats in a suspension of ideas transmitted from one microphone to another at a speed of five thousand centuries per minute because the things understood slip away together with the need to understand. During all those years our techniques have improved let me see how long have you stayed away, got stuck in the nineteenth century, lost and never gained your confidence your heart your memory your mind until it comes to a standstill? We have many more interpreters now so that they remain more based on Headquarters in the distant brain way up where most conventions take place these days apart from fringe activities like the Freud Centenary and Congresses of Archaeologists in Izmir (Ancient Smyrna) who say structural? Oh I see, the imagination. How fascinating. And where do you go next?

  Paris as Headquarters of simultaneous interpreters and international organisations occupied with the advancement of learning peace intercontinental missiles rationalisation in the utilisation of wood cultural irrigation for the under-developed areas such as pilot and associated projects for fundamental education with missions sent to Afghanistan the Philippines Siam and Syria seminars in Brazil with special stress laid on the Declaration of Human Rights contains the small flat in the rue St. André where children shout ouvre les jambes Véronique or crapaude vieille poire j’m’en fous and other such air-conditioning for loyalty love lust ambition marriage not to mention the tall façade opposite with such small enthusiasms behind it. Yes, I notice, you always sit like that, even in this armchair, your ankles crossed and all your fingers touching. Unless you smoke too much.

  — Well, it does reduce the smoking.

  — And have you closed the circuit?

  Siegfried grown almost bald somewhere between Byzantium and Constantinople with a paunch pahr dessue lives married to a nice Dutch girl based on Hamburg but why Siegfried? Or rather why Hamburg? Didn’t you like the freedom of the air? Oh well, my spouse insisted you know just as yours had you more or less immobilised in Regency London after the first few months or weeks of making love in the hard bed area of Berlin Rothenburg Frankfurt, where again, Paris, Beirut, Istanbul? But I travel still despite and she has to show more understanding for the old Wanderlust than you did if I may say so poor man. Yes, I travel in electronics as other people travel in simultaneous interpretation. Not that I know anything about electronics mind you except that they contain the future in a way that interpretation however simultaneous of nineteenth century type bumbling can’t. We live in an age of transition wouldn’t you agree and must cope as best we can. But otherwise it doesn’t make much difference from the old racket, one learns as one sells at the highest level in English German Dutch. I have acquired a smattering of Dutch by marriage, have you? Oh no, you acquired a smattering of English nicht wahr Liebes?

  — Uw zwemvest bevindt zich onder uw stoel.

  — Dit zwemvest kan dienen voor een bewusteloos persoon. And how goes the bewusteloos persoon?

  — Fine.

  — So, you’ve recovered your senses. Gut-gut. Well, we meet again. We can continue to meet again you know Liebes, here and there in Amsterdam Paris London und so weiter weiter gehen, immer geradeaus, if you let me know your schedules in advance I can always arrange a trip. Just think what fun we’ll have.

  — We have played those games mein Lieb.

  — I meant, of course, as friends.

  Silences differ more than hotel rooms or menus going all the way to the moment when I must go I really must. Bye-bye for now or as they say in Turkey güle-güle auf Wiedersehen bye-bye, Frau, welgohome.

  The bottle of Eau d’Evian stands on the kitchen window-sill above the sink near the packet of OMO—le plus fort contre la saleté. Coupage du lait des biberons. Cure de diurèse et de désintoxication. Affections rénales—Lithiases urinaires—Goutte—Arthritisme—Obésité—Régime sans sel. Evian—l’eau essentielle, l’eau “vraie”.

  The hands lie quite still on the late Empire desk against the blue and green striped wall, holding the letter from Rome rooted out of the mess of papers in the niche answered-already-kept-for-reference Madame. I have pleasure to inform you that the Vicariatus Urbis has acknowledged the nullity of your marriage because of “mulieris simulationis contra bona indissolubilitatis et prolis” on April 17 based on half-truths and vital mysteries lost in antiquated sophistries. Dated heavens two years ago. You will appreciate that according to our conversation when you gave your testimony in Rome two years past, the Defensor Vinculi has now to appeal against this judgment at a Second Hearing. If he wins the Second judgment you may then appeal with a Third Hearing just like a tennis match mein Lieb final and decisive whichever way it goes. I can’t think why you bother. Even in religious matters ladies and gentlemen they have quietly had to shift their ground into convenient dogmas which even lose their convenience as times change. I shall with pleasure continue to represent you when I hear from you that I hated all that interrogation Liebes why, quite like the end of the war trying to get a job and a Persil-Schein certificate denazifying us whiter than white, witness I ask you what had I witnessed but the snatching away of meine Liebe under my very nose thinking all right then he will hurt her and I’ll bide my time and gather up the broken bits with a remittance for Lire 800,000 as follows: Printing Costs 50,000, Taxes Vicariatus Urbis Tribunal, 150,000, Second Judgment 100,000, Honorarium (nominal) 500,000. These charges as you see agree with the charges for the First Judgment. Cordially. Every solution creates new problems not one of which deserves a flow of rash enthusiasm which looked up in the dictionary on the late Empire desk once long ago meant how long possessed by the gods.

  If we wish to avert famine in the developing countries, industrialised nations must concentrate on the words that flow into the earphones worn like a diadem through the neutralised transmitter in the brain way up behind the closed eyelids and down into the mouthpiece in simultaneous German to provide more technical and scientific help for the proper utilisation of these countries’ own resources of proteins. Mesdames messieurs vous allez écouter aujourd’hui plusieurs discours by eminent specialists on methods of increasing the output of edible protein and translating time speed height into locality and channel and descent into new matter where the light unrounds the corners of the cupboard the dressing-table the stool under which you will find your life-jacket for anche una persona priva de conoscenza. No body occupies the empty bed thank goodness nor will use l’essuie-main not für Rasierklingen. No one comes in offering anything not ordered.

  No one does anything at all. Assemblies meet and talk and even this Council can do no more than pass a resolution asking governments to initiate urgent measures for closing the protein gap. But governments must act. We can do no more than give them the technical information required. And the poorer countries must themselves give far more attention to oil seed producti
on and fish-protein concentrates which still remain the world’s cheapest sources of protein.

  Between the dawn and the unrounding night the fingers fondle the medal of St. Christopher on the body stretching forth its hundred and forty ribs or so towards the brain beyond the yellow curtain that divides the poorer from the richer and no doubt behind a little door. But the biggest difficulty lies not so much in obtaining the additional protein as in making it palatable to the people who so desperately need it.

  The members of the assembly sit quite still in a passion of charity concern interest unless perhaps alarm. Sandra works with her eyes ears voice and un amour de soutien-gorge but no hands as she watches the speaker through the glass-booth pouring the oilseed and fish-concentrates into the mouthpiece in simultaneous English. Between the cold statistics and the stark bare facts of hunger lies an immense period called indifference. Nous avons perfectionné des techniques expérimentales for texturing vegetable proteins by spinning to yield products which, when properly flavoured and coloured, closely simulate common foods such as bacon, chicken, beef and fish. Did you want it for eating love?

  The menu goes all the way to 00147 Roma on account of mulieris simulationis contra bona indissolubilitatis et prolis. The bottle of Spa Monopole stands on the dressing-table. L’eau qui pétille—L’eau minérale la moins chargée en sels. Het mineraal spuitwater mit het laagste zoutgehalte. On the bedside-table lies the postcard from Venice out of the envelope addressed to Hotel Gallia Milano forwarded to Paris Headquarters and on to Bruges with the words Je sais que vous venez à Milan. J’habite maintenant Venise, belle ville d’amour et d’art splendide d’amour et crossed out without sufficient conviction. Si vous en avez le loisir venez voir cette merveille. Vous donneriez une incomparable joie à un vieil ami qui vous admire toujours, qui n’oublie pas la gentildonna “che fa tremar dì claritate l’âre” (comme l’a si bien dit ce grand poète Italien Cavalcanti: le connaissez-vous? Sûrement. Vous savez tout). Signed B.C.