Sirens of DemiMonde

by N. Godwin

  “Hey,” Lavelle says moving in closer to him, “nice watch. Let me hold that.”

  “No!” Mandy and Genie shout.

  “Watch your gear around that one,” Horst whispers to Rawly as even Lavelle nods in agreement.

  Andrea plays some Green Day on the stereo while everyone settles in. Kelly’s head is in my lap and as I scratch her scalp she moves my hand down to her belly and I feel this huge kick.

  “Wow! That was a big one.”

  “It’s a boy, I know it is!”

  “Really?”

  “And he’s somebody important, too. I feel it!” Kelly insists.

  “Killer.”

  “Ah, that’s so cool.”

  “The Lord is working powerful magic tonight,” Alan tells us.

  “Hey, what cha’ gonna name him if it’s a boy?” Mandy asks reaching her hand in time to feel another kick.

  “After him,” Kelly giggles shyly and points to Rawly.

  “Oh God,” I say and frown, “not Harold I hope.”

  “Hey!”

  “Nah, just Rawly. You’d be a good daddy, Rawly.” Kelly smiles generously at him. “You wanna feel my baby kick?”

  Rawly doesn’t even hesitate, he gently leans forward and places his warm hand over mine on Kelly’s swollen belly. The baby kicks in rapid succession. The look in Rawly’s eyes is searing, intimate, and my head goes woozy a moment. I pull my hand away quickly and study it.

  “Your real name is Harold?” Hobie asks and begins to chuckle.

  “Really?” Robert and John join Hobie’s laughter. They stop suddenly when Rawly looks at them and frowns.

  “You got a problem with that?” Rawly asks.

  “No, Sir!” they reply quickly and salute him.

  Rawly turns to me and scrutinizes my expression. “You got a problem with that?”

  “Not today,” I reply and refuse to meet his eyes.

  “You know,” Ken says nursing his bruised eye with the cold beer, “we were playing Truth or Dare. I believe it was my turn.”

  “Nah,” Hobie says, “it was--”

  “My turn!” Ken insists. He looks over at Rawly and frowns slightly. “Rawly, what’s your story, dude? Why are you here? Truth or Dare.”

  “Yeah!”

  “Uh oh.”

  “Do you know how to play?” Mandy asks him.

  “Yes,” Rawly says and smiles at her then at Ken. “And I’ll take the truth. You all know why I’m here.”

  “Say it out loud,” Ken insists.

  “I love her,” Rawly says and looks at Ken. “Is that okay by you?”

  “Take a number,” Horst scowls.

  “Say it to her,” Ken tells Rawly. “Tell her.”

  He looks at me. “I love you. I love you. Don’t look away!” he insists. “I’m here because you’re my destiny, and somewhere inside that hard little head of yours you know I’m your destiny, too.”

  “Wow!” Genie and Mandy gush.

  “He’s your destiny,” Kelly says with awe as she sits up from my lap.

  “This guy is nuts! Trust me,” I insist. “Are you even listening to him? I’m his destiny?! Are you kidding me? I can’t believe his lines are working on all of you!”

  “Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m not your destiny.”

  “Look… Commander—“

  “Lieutenant Commander.”

  “Whatever! Look, you only want me because I don’t want you.”

  “That’s a stupid thing to say.”

  “Yeah, well deal with it—I am stupid!”

  “No, you most certainly are not!”

  “Then you don’t know me at all!”

  “You have no idea what I do and don’t know about you,” he says slowly.

  “Yeah, I have no idea because I don’t know you! You’re just another crazy stalker!”

  “You turn to ask a question, dude,” Ken interrupts us.

  Rawly looks hard at me and frowns. “Truth or Dare, Helen, tell me how I make you feel when you look me in the eyes.”

  “Take the truth for once,” Ken says. “You owe him the truth.”

  “I don’t know!” I snap at Ken then turn to Rawly. “I know you won’t leave me alone no matter what I do! And I know we’d all be dead if it weren’t for your incessant stalking so maybe you really are here for a reason, but I don’t want to have to think about that—Ah! I can’t breathe right around you because almost everything about you annoys me, and I know I don’t like or trust you! What emotions do you expect me to feel under these circumstances?” I cover my eyes and breathe in deeply. “I know I don’t feel what other people feel. I’ve worked here long enough to know that.” I look at their faces. “What do you want me to say?!”

  “Okay, like, when you look at Rawly do your nipples get hard?” Andrea wants to know.

  “Do ya ever get wet? You know, down there?” Genie asks.

  “Does your heart skip a beat?” Mandy sighs.

  “Does your vagina ever throb?”

  “Don’t be vulgar!” I shout at them. Everyone goes quiet as I cover my eyes again and shake my head. “I can’t feel those things!”

  Ken holds his hand out towards mine. “It’s okay, girl friend. It’s okay.”

  “It’s your turn,” Horst tells me as I look at him confused. “Truth or Dare, Jimmy-Sue,” he offers in a tight voice. “It’s your turn.”

  “Okay, ah, Andrea, yeah, Andrea. I’m curious. Have you ever been in love?”

  “Truth, honey,” she says, “lots of times. Nice try by the way,” she tells me with a wink, “but let’s throw this ball back in the interesting court, what say? Oh, Rawly, honey, you’ve obviously had a few women in your time, huh? Can we get a head count?”

  “You want me to give you a number?” he laughs.

  “If it’s not too much trouble.”

  “Hell, I don’t know.”

  “More or less than, say, a hundred, Truth or Dare?”

  “More,” he says gruffly as the Halflings respond.

  “I see,” Andrea says slowly. “Then tell us one good reason why we should trust you with our little angel here? She’s not exactly you’re everyday--”

  “Because I said so,” Rawly chuckles.

  “That’s good enough for me,” Hobie and Robert say.

  “Yeah, me too,” Alan agrees.

  “Hey, guys,” Rawly says, “you don’t need to protect her from me. Protect her from herself maybe, but not from me. I’m the most balanced person here.”

  “Oh, real nice!” Andrea scolds and laughs.

  “Yeah,” I scoff. “You’re balanced. How many people did you kill tonight?”

  “Only two,” Hobie says.

  “Ah, a slow night?” I tsk-tsk-tsk Rawly.

  “This is fun!” Mandy says and claps.

  “Will she or won’t she?” Genie teases.

  “Won’t!” the dudes snicker.

  “When I grow up I want to be just like him,” Robert says pointing at Rawly.

  “Yeah man, I’ll bet he’s knows everything!”

  “I’ll bet he knows how to treat a woman right,” Andrea offers and stares him up and down.

  “What? You guys seriously believe he doesn’t have his secret crazy side just like the rest of us?” Horst asks. “And face it; he’s got his woman problems, too.”

  “In spades!”

  “Yeah, but at least he don’t have to worry about his old lady screwing some other guy with her kids still up in the house,” Lavelle says. “My mom couldn’t stay faithful to none of her men.”

  “Hey, Rawly, dude,” John asks. “What would you do if you caught your girlfriend doing the nasty with someone else?”

  “Get a new girlfriend,” Rawly laughs.

  “Okay,” Hobie says. “But what if she wasn’t just a girlfriend, what if she was your wife?”

  “Oh yeah!”

  “What would you do?”

  “I’ve never thought about it.”

  “Think!”
Hobie and Robert insist.

  “Your precious wife is grinding away with some other guy like--”

  “Gross,” I say, “Hobie, stop.”

  “And all the while she’s been lying to you because she’s grunting like a pig with some other guy she loves more than you. Truth or Dare, man, what would you do?”

  “Truth or Dare!”

  Rawly looks over at me quickly and scowls as if somehow seeing me in that ridiculous role. For a second his black eyes betray a spark of the beast I’d seen when he was kicking the life out of the man standing on my back.

  “I’d kill her,” Rawly replies keeping his eyes glued onto mine. He leans back on his elbows and crosses his ankles in front of him. “Truth or Dare,” he tells me, “just like that.” He snaps his fingers.

  “What a way to go,” Andrea purrs.

  “Uh huh,” Genie says romantically.

  “Yeah, you’re balanced!” I say.

  “Hey, Rawly, dude, it’s your turn,” Mandy reminds us.

  “Helen,” he says angrily.

  “Great! Dump on me again.”

  “Tell me about… your father.” I look over at him quickly. “What did he teach you about men, about life?”

  “I’m not going to tell you anything about him!”

  “Did he teach you that all men were evil pagans with only one thing on our minds?” I cover my ears, not so much against the question as against the echoes osf my father all around me. “Did he teach you it was wrong to love a man?”

  I keep my eyes closed and shake my head.

  “You have to answer, girlfriend,” Mandy says. “Or else take the dare.”

  “Dare,” I whisper and open my eyes.

  “Oh my, my, my,” Andrea says. “Dare her to do something naughty!”

  “Yeah!”

  “Dare her to kiss you!”

  “Dare her to sit in your lap!”

  Rawly stretches out and rolls over on his side, resting his jaw in his hand and smiling at me like a cat toying with its captive bird. “Sing,” he says slowly, cruelly.

  “Sing?!” everyone asks.

  “Sing?” I whisper.

  “Yeah, you heard me. I want you to stand in front of all of us and make your music.” He meets my eyes as I struggle to look away.

  “I can’t!”

  “Yeah, you can do it, Jimmy-Sue,” Ken says. “I’ve heard you singing in the kitchen.”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard you singing in the kitchen, too,” Hobie says. “Pretty; nothing special,” he shrugs. “What’s he want her to sing for?”

  “No!”

  “Then you have to tell us about your father,” Robert insists.

  “Sing!” Rawly tells me through clenched teeth.

  “I can’t!”

  “You will!”

  The room is silent as Rawly sits up and suddenly begins whispering in an odd voice. Although the words are foreign to me they strike a nerve and I sit up listening and waiting. His murmuring is powerful and echoes around the room seeping into my pours as he whispers louder and louder until they split and becomes two voices whispering exotic words into the particles of air I breathe. The two voices become four, then eight and into a host of whispers pounding in my head.

  I look around confused because the others are only staring at me and seem oblivious to this chanting cacophony coming from this demon, only I can tell he is casting some spell over us, over this room and me. I don’t move, only listen as Rawly whispers a slow ancient incantation between each command, beckoning me even further still by all the enthusiastic chants of our circle as they clap and agree.

  “Sing!”

  The wind comes out of nowhere and there are too many erratic sounds surrounding me. His gravity encircles me, whispering against the back of my neck, under my arms and feet, around and around my head, down into the very tips of my fingers as I shiver.

  I look at Rawly confused and dazed. “Who are you?!” I demand, holding my head in my hands. “Who are you?!”

  I falter but find I am unable to stop myself from standing, my body moving under a strange new volition. I feel a power source far off in me awaken, and it drifts apart until I am being pulled toward a distant light. I close my eyes and flow towards it moving as if Rawly’s spell carriers the magical key needed to unlock something dormant deep inside me.

  There is no sound in the world that I hear other than howl of wind. I move slowly, tentatively into a realm that makes no sense to me, until my eyes find the magic of the light; a light so pure and so divine I ache to touch it.

  Maybe there is a note, maybe a slight melody? I feel the breath in my chest and I follow the sound of my breathing, follow it down along my veins, down into muscle and flesh, down into a distant memory just out of reach. I stretch to reach, to touch it even for a moment. I hold out my hands longingly and bump into the sound, the wave of airy sound that stretches and cleanses, purifying everything that I know as me.

  I know this celestial music is coming from somewhere lost deep inside me, somewhere atrophied and beautiful, so beautiful that I cannot help but cry. I stretch and sing. I sing and the light envelops me and draws me back, back down to where I should not go, yet where I fear I’m meant to be.

  I follow the light source and sing, feeling renewed and light, feeling someone else, something else. And the light flickers and flickers then glows brightly one last moment. Then it is gone.

  I open my eyes. Everyone is staring at me with their mouths ajar, everyone except Rawly. His is sitting erect like stone, his eyes closed tightly shut.

  “My God!” Ken whispers.

  “Holy shit! What was that, girlfriend?”

  “What language was that?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Wow!”

  “Italian,” Rawly says opening his eyes. He stands slowly, very slowly and his face is flushed and sweaty.

  “Oh,” I say. “I never know for certain.”

  “Do you know what you’ve sung, Helen?”

  “No, I just told you I never can remem--”

  “Damn you!” he hisses and turns and storms out of the room slamming the door shut behind him.

  All of the Halflings are staring at me, sitting like statues and whispering. When they see my eyes on them they stop whispering.

  “Man, I though it was real pretty,” Robert says quickly. “Guess he didn’t though, huh?”

  “You could make a ton of money off that voice, girlfriend,” Andrea offers in deep thought. “A ton of money.”

  “I though it was kinda’… spooky,” Hobie says and they hit him with pillows.

  “That was amazing,” Horst is saying to me but I’m not listening to them because of my burning curiosity.

  I have no idea what just happened, whether it was a sign, or a foreboding, or sheer insanity, I can’t begin to say which, and I don’t think I really want to know right now because I am exhausted down into my nerves endings. But I can’t help myself when I turn and follow Rawly outside. As I close the door behind me I can hear the pointed silence of the Halflings. I don’t care. I lean my back against the door and look around the garden, wondering where he could have gone in two seconds, instinctively knowing he could just as well have turned invisible or flown into a tree.

  I spot Rawly leaning against the magnolia tree and looking up at the sky, and I am quiet as I study him in all his spooky magnificence, yet now as I study the curve of his powerful silhouette there is something else I spot beyond his muscular shoulders and arms. Inside the very core of his honed composure there is a lurking vulnerability I can sense. Yes, there’s a definite Achill’s Heel somewhere in there, but finding it could be hazardous to my health.

  “Rawly?” I ask softly. “Rawly?” He says nothing just keeps looking up. “You have to tell me,” I say breathlessly as I come to stand beside him. “I have to know! What in the world—I mean, why could you make me sing? I don’t understand.” He still doesn’t answer or move. “Tell me how you did that. That was insane! You made
me sing! Why could you do that to me; why? And, if you could make me sing what can I make you--”

  “Shut up!” he hisses as I freeze in place. “God!” he shouts and hits the tree. He leans against it breathing heavily in short gasps then pulls himself up slowly and turns to face me. He has completely composed himself now, except for the look of fire in his eyes. “What do you want from me, Helen? It must be something very important if you followed me outside.”

  I don’t even bother denying it. “I want you to… teach me,” I respond and smile meekly.

  He stiffens. “Teach you what?”

  “You know, the way you attacked that last guy. How you kicked him to the ground and all. That was awesome! You wouldn’t have to be too big to do that move either would you, just know the technique and--”

  “You want me to teach you a classic takedown?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Why?” His dark handsome mask slips back into place.

  “Well,” I say quickly, “You’ve told me I need training if I’m going to place myself in danger and obviously this job is getting more dangerous and--”

  He steps forward and I lean back against the tree as he places his hand on the bark just above my head and leans down into my face, a hard skeptical smile on his lips.

  “And, I mean, what could it hurt?” I ramble on. “Don’t you think I need to--”

  “How do you think I got my job, Helen? You think all I have to do is be the strongest and smartest to be the best? Not good enough! Intuition, my darling,” he taps his temple and frowns. “I can tell you what a man is going to do before he’s even decided himself.” Rawly angrily leans down into my face. “And my intuition is telling me—no, it’s shouting at me, that the last thing I need to teach you is manual combat. Why do you suppose that is, Helen?”

  “Look, let’s trade. Yeah! If you teach me a classic takedown I’ll…go out on a date with you if you like. Will that work?”

  He laughs harshly. “Is that a joke?”

  “No!”

  “Well it sounds like one to me!” He steps into me and keeps pushing me backwards until I am leaning against the brick dorm wall. He keeps coming until we are only a fraction of an inch away from one another. I can feel the anger and heat rising from his body. I can feel his breath on my cheek as I turn my face away. I’m pinned against the wall but still we are not touching.