Cowboy for Keeps
Page 12
Amanda was going to be sick. She hadn’t meant to get this sort of talk started. She hadn’t meant to stare at Wyatt like a lovesick puppy right here in front of everyone. But who would have thought three crusty old men—two who were sitting across the room—would start talking about goo-goo eyes. Wyatt didn’t look any happier than she was.
“Hey, fellas, hold off on marrying me and Amanda off. For one, she’s way too young for me. For two, I’m not on the market and for three, Amanda doesn’t like me much.”
Amanda couldn’t believe he’d just come out and said that in front of everyone. Too young. That one really got her. The man thought she was too young. There were only twelve years’ difference in them. “I like you,” she hissed, leaning toward him across the table. “Just not like that. Besides, fellas, I’m not looking for a husband right now.”
Sam came out and set her steaming plate of French toast down in front of her. He grinned as he slid Wyatt’s bacon and eggs in front of him. “And why not?” Sam looked insulted on Wyatt’s behalf.
“Yeah,” Stanley joined in. He had abandoned the checker game and was digging a handful of sunflower seeds. “He’s handsome, funny—”
“And,” App broke in, “he’s got a highfalutin job and owns a bunch of land.”
At that Wyatt almost choked on his bacon. Sam slapped him on the back and scowled at her. “Yeah, he’s a real fine catch. What do you mean too old? He ain’t old.”
Amanda got tickled despite her horror at the situation. “I didn’t say he was too old. He said I was too young. But he is right, there is too big a difference in our ages.”
“Hogwash!” Applegate grunted. “Thar’s plenty of folks married with that many of years between them. It ain’t like y’alls in school anymore. Them years don’t matter a lick after you get past yor teens.”
Amanda could only see this conversation going downhill from here. She dug into her toast—not that she was the least bit hungry anymore—and kept her head down. If they didn’t get out of here soon she feared the fellas would grab the visiting preacher and have them hitched before the lunch rush came through the doors.
“Fellas, stop,” Wyatt commanded. “Let Amanda eat her breakfast in peace. My brother is getting married soon. It’s his wedding y’all need to be concentrating on.”
Stanley’s hand holding his black checker hovered in midair. “The ladies have that’un under control. Seth was in here with Susan about an hour ago. Them two is so in love they didn’t even try to hide thar goo-goo eyes.”
“Yup,” Applegate barked. “Only thang holdin’ them up is you gettin’ well enough to walk down the aisle.”
Wyatt’s expression darkened and Amanda couldn’t miss the muscle jerk in his jaw. “I told them not to wait on me when I was in the hospital. Now that I’m on this cane, there’s going to be a wedding soon. I can promise you that.”
All three men grinned from ear to ear.
Sam filled Wyatt’s coffee cup up. “Now that right thar sounds like you, son. That’s always been yor strong point, takin’ charge and pushin’ forward. We was plenty worried when all you wanted ta do was sit in that house out thar and mope.”
“Mope. I was doing no such thing.”
Applegate grunted and Stanley spit sunflowers.
“Suit yourself.” Applegate lined his black checkers up on the board. “But when a man is so knotted up with anger that he don’t get out of the house, that thar is moping.”
Stanley stood up. “We’ve got to get over to play practice. Y’all should come out to the theater sometime. We do the lights and the sound. It would be a good date fer y’all.”
“We might do that.” Wyatt took a swig of coffee and met her gaze over the rim of his cup. She’d pretty much decided to keep her mouth shut on this entire conversation. Beside that, she was interested in what they were revealing about Wyatt despite the talk about them…but she even found that fascinating—not that she’d let them know it. No, she’d realized that there were some things you kept to yourself in Mule Hollow.
A little while later, they eased out of the diner to the booming encouragement for Wyatt to take Amanda out on a real date. Wyatt didn’t say anything until they were in the SUV.
“Well, that didn’t exactly go the way I’d planned.”
Amanda laughed so hard her shoulders shook as she drove the vehicle toward home. “It was totally unexpected for me, too.” Boy, was that the understatement of the year. She’d relaxed some during all of the conversation, though, and that was a good thing. Now, however, alone with him again, she started tensing up.
He adjusted his arm, looking for a more comfortable position, and he watched her as he did it. She didn’t look at him but knew he was because she could feel his gaze on her.
“At the meeting with the ladies I went to with Melody the other day, it seemed like the wedding plans were set.”
“Yes. Seth told me that Chance has that weekend off, so he’ll be coming to do the service. With the PBR it runs a pretty hectic schedule, so it’s a good time.”
Amanda knew that PBR stood for Pro Bull Riding organization and had been fascinated at the planning meeting when she’d learned that Chance was a preacher. He was Wyatt’s cousin on his dad’s side and had been raised up with them half their life, whenever his dad hadn’t been able to take him on the rodeo circuit during the school year. “That’s something I never thought about as a career, but it is wonderful.” She really thought so. What a great witness.
“Chance is a great guy. He has a heart of gold and a mission to preach God’s word to those bull riders.”
Amanda liked that. She’d been sharing her witness with the kids when she worked with them. She wasn’t sure what she was doing now. Running?
“I need to check on Melody’s garden. Would you like to ride over there with me?” She was asking for trouble by spending more time with Wyatt, but she suddenly didn’t want to go back to that tiny trailer at the stagecoach house.
“Sure. Maybe you’ll finally tell me why you don’t want to talk about your jogging?”
And there it was. Right back to square one. “It’s no big deal. I like to run, okay. I just didn’t tell you.”
“But why? We both know your running is a big deal. I looked it up. A runner with a leg missing above the knee has a much harder time running with a prosthetic. You make it look easy. You run like a deer.”
Not only had he been watching her every morning, he’d done research on her condition. Amanda’s heart fluttered at the thought. She pulled to a stop beside the green garden. It was surrounded by a tall fence, which Melody had told her was to keep the deer out. The old fence had been described as having some of the original wood from the stagecoach house. Amanda liked the look of the garden, but it wasn’t the garden she was thinking about as she climbed from the SUV.
“Yes, I was fourteen at the time of the accident. And all I wanted to do was keep running.” She stared across the hood at Wyatt. The man was persistent. And the sun gleaming off his dark hair made him look all too dashing—she’d never in her life used that word before, but it just fit. She could imagine him dressed in his tuxedo for a big benefit ball. He would fit perfectly into that scenario. The wealthy rancher/lawyer—that was the image of him she needed to focus on. That was the life she could never fit into.
And she also couldn’t stop thinking about him as a child sitting on the bar stool at Sam’s… Wyatt’s son would do that one day—that is, when Wyatt brought him to the ranch on weekend visits.
“My parents said I loved to run from the moment I started walking. I decided I wanted to do marathons. So that was why I was on the side of the road the day that man drove over me.”
“That’s tough to hear every time you say it. It must be even harder to have to repeat to nosey people like me.”
It touched her that he would care. “I’m dealing with it. Be careful here,” she said, hoping to divert the conversation, but also concerned that Wyatt might hurt himself. “Concentrat
e on your balance. Use your stomach muscles to stabilize your back.”
He was standing close to her, looking down at her with serious eyes. She suddenly felt panic rising, but she couldn’t move. She had that overwhelming urge to take a step and wrap her arms around him. To feel the solid strength of his arms about her.
Wyatt shifted to lean against the gate post, and before she realized what he was doing he’d set his cane aside and lifted his hand to her cheek. The feel of his touch should have made her run all the way home, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She could only think about his touch and the gentle look that came into his eyes as he stared down at her.
“Amanda, I wish you would tell me what is really bothering you. My gut tells me there’s more to you giving up working with kids and coming all the way out here. What are you running from?”
Chapter Fourteen
What was he doing? He was stepping over a boundary he hadn’t wanted to cross. But Amanda brought something out in him he wasn’t used to feeling. He’d been unable to stop himself from touching her. Her deer-in-the-headlights look the instant his fingertips touched her was expected, but he didn’t like it. He’d told himself not to do it. But he hadn’t been able to stop himself. It had taken everything in him not to demand she tell him earlier. All morning he’d been building up to finding out what was bothering her…or what she was hiding—if she was. “I have to tell you that I think you are an amazing woman.”
She shook her head and her eyes slid away from his. Did she not see that? Was that why she downplayed the fact that she was a runner? He had the sudden need to pull her into his arms.
He tucked his fingers into his pockets instead and forced them to stay there.
“Come on, Amanda, I know we’ve had our issues, but I really am a good listener. If you need a friend right now I’m here. Did this guy hurt you? Do something you haven’t said?” She wanted to tell him, he sensed that she did with every fiber of his being. Come on, Amanda. Talk to me.
“Why are you so certain?”
She was still fighting it. “Because too much points to something being wrong. You love kids and yet you’ve given that up. Yes, you’ve been through a hard breakup, but most people would find comfort in doing what they love. You said you loved working with kids…so why aren’t you? And why do your beautiful eyes get the saddest expression at times? I saw it at church the other day.”
She looked shocked, and he wasn’t sure if it was because he’d noticed so much about her or because he’d called her eyes beautiful. But as quick as she looked shocked, the sadness flooded her eyes.
He couldn’t help himself. “What is it, Amanda?” He reached for her. To his surprise, she came into his arms and buried her head against his shoulders. Her tremble vibrated through him and he tightened his arms about her. Feelings of protectiveness like nothing he’d ever felt before surged over him. Amanda was right up there as being one of the bravest—if not the bravest—people he’d ever known. So what had her so shaken?
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled against his shoulder. She was so tense that he began rubbing the muscles between her shoulder blades in a gentle circular motion.
“Talk to me.” He was treading on quicksand. Amanda was in his arms, and he was going to have a hard time letting her go when she decided to back away from him.
But she didn’t move away. She took a deep breath and looked up at him.
She glanced out past the tomato bushes before pinning him with surprisingly clear eyes. Too clear, maybe.
“When Jonathan broke up with me, it was because—” Amanda shook her head. “I can’t… I can’t talk about it.”
Wyatt tried to follow what she was trying to tell him. She’d said she couldn’t blame Jonathan for calling off the engagement. That he’d made the right decision for both of them. That it was better to know it up front than later on. Wyatt agreed on all counts. She was better off without the guy. Still, he found no place in his heart for understanding the man. You did not tell a woman you loved her and then call it off. When a real man said those words, he meant them. There was no turning back. Wyatt had never found anyone who’d ever tempted him to even think about it.
But he’d never met anyone like Amanda. The thought should have thrown him, but it didn’t. Amanda was a woman well worth loving. Did she not feel like she was? Was that the problem?
“You’re hurting,” Amanda said. “What am I thinking? I’ve had you trapped here. Let’s get you back to the house.”
“I’d rather you talk to me.” She was closing him out.
“There are just some things I can’t put words to, Wyatt.”
“Try. It might help.”
Instead of answering him she walked away. His hip and back strained as he pushed himself to cross the ground to catch her. “Amanda, I know you and I got off on the wrong foot. I was an idiot, but I hope you consider me a friend.”
She turned back to him, her beautiful aquamarine eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Thank you, Wyatt. I like the idea of you being my friend. But—”
Wyatt’s heart clutched, and he wanted to pull her back into his arms and comfort her. “You are a remarkable woman, Amanda. I hope you know that.”
“I can’t do this, Wyatt. What I’m dealing with is something I have to deal with on my own.”
She walked around to the truck and got in. Her statement only caused more questions. He should back off. Give her what she wanted.
It was none of his business.
But, staring at her through the windshield, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to do that.
Amanda couldn’t forget the feel of being in Wyatt’s arms a few minutes earlier in the garden. Or that she’d almost told him everything! It had been only by sheer willpower that she’d stopped herself before revealing how totally empty she felt inside. Knowing Wyatt, he wouldn’t have understood that at all.
He’d have tried to comfort her. As he’d done so sweetly before. She’d been grateful for his concern, but she didn’t want his sympathy.
As it was, she was having a hard time figuring out how to handle this new relationship they’d begun. He’d wanted to be her friend. And he’d said such nice things about her—she felt awkward believing that he thought she was remarkable. And yet he’d said so.
As she waited for him to stretch out on the table, she tried not to think about how nice it had felt to be in his arms. It had been just as comforting as she’d suspected it would be…even if she’d thrown herself at him. But it had been so much more.
Unbidden, she suddenly wondered how there couldn’t be a woman in Wyatt’s life. Melody and his brothers had said no, but maybe there was someone they didn’t know about. He could have a whole little black book or he could as easily be free and unencumbered.
Just like she was—free as a bird to date whomever she wanted.
That thought had her staring down at her bare ring finger. When she’d talked to Wyatt earlier, she’d realized that she had absolutely no feelings for Jonathan. Hadn’t for a while.
There was no lingering sadness at the idea of Jonathan’s ring not being there. The only sadness—the deep, neverending sadness—was the reason his ring wasn’t on her finger.
I want children of my own. His words seeped through her soul like unshed tears filling her up on the inside.
She’d told herself there was no reason to dwell on it. God had a plan for her life and it wasn’t to have children. She would find a way to come to terms with that. Just as she’d found a way to come to terms with the fact that she had only one leg.
Someday she’d understand what His plan was where children were concerned. She just had to deal with the ups and downs she faced until that time came. And right now she had to figure out what to talk to Wyatt about.
“Do you compete in marathons?”
His question was like a gift, as if he knew she needed help. “I do two or three a year, but nothing major. My priority has been my work. After I realized that it gave me
a purpose when I lost my leg, I backed off from the running.”
“But the running is also a way to reach and inspire people.” He glanced over his shoulder at her.
“Oh, I believe so, too. It’s just that I was so busy with my work with the kids that I didn’t have the time to train as heavily as I needed to. I enjoyed helping kids gain confidence after losing their limbs. There is nothing like watching a kid walk for the first time after…” She faltered, realizing she’d started talking about her work as if it was as natural as breathing. She remembered how rewarding her work had been. Only twenty minutes earlier she’d been in tears thinking about it.
“I can see where that would be rewarding. It’s worthwhile. It means something, Amanda.”
“I know it does.” But that didn’t mean she could go back to it.
“Do you think you’ll be able to go back to working with kids later on?” he asked gently.
He was reading her mind. “I don’t think so,” she said.
“Why?” He looked over his shoulder again. His eyes sharp. Digging. “Why is that? I have a feeling you were great with kids. You said you loved it.”
“I have my reasons. How does this feel?” She pressed a knot too hard to distract him. He jerked.
“Hurts,” he gritted. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you did that on purpose.”
“Well, I did, but only because I need to in order to make it better. You know that.”
She was testy. But this was not what she wanted to talk about. How in the world had she let this conversation go to this?
“Why can’t you go back to doing what you love? What is it that you aren’t telling me?”
That did it! The man was entirely too inquisitive. Maybe it was because he was a lawyer. “Wyatt, I’m not on the stand. I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to talk about this.”
His brows dipped. “When a client goes on the defensive like that it’s not a good thing.”