To Love and Heal (The Power of Love Series)

by Rose, Tamra

  "Here goes," she said to Haley, who was sitting quietly at her feet. Leaning over, she adjusted the large red bow that she had earlier fastened around Haley's neck. "You look beautiful," she declared as Haley thumped her tail in appreciation.

  "Stay," Anna said gently as she opened the back door and called out to Caleb. He turned off the power saw and looked up, wiping his brow with his sleeve.

  "There's someone here to see you," Anna said as she snapped her fingers behind her to coax Haley over.

  Caleb looked surprised. "Who?"

  She waited for him to safely put down the power saw and emerge from behind the sawhorses. "Go, girl!" she instructed as she opened the door wide and Haley bounded out.

  Immediately spotting Caleb, Haley momentarily froze before leaping forward with an excited bark. Anna watched with immense satisfaction as Caleb's mouth dropped open, his arms outstretched as Haley jumped into them, nearly knocking him over as she momentarily forgot that she was an eighty-pound black Lab mix and not a fifteen-pound Chihuahua. As the stricken look of shock on Caleb's face slowly melted into sheer joy, he kneeled down to the ground with her as the canine love fest continued. Anna laughed as she headed over to them, Caleb's face buried in a blur of black fur and pink tongue. Managing to break free for several moments, he shook his head incredulously. "I don't believe this … I truly don't believe this. How …?"

  "How did I get her here?" Anna replied as she gladly finished his question. "Let's just say I had a little help – make that a lot of help – from a dog-loving congresswoman whose husband just happens to be on the board of Vantage Airways."

  As Caleb shook his head with disbelief once again, Haley moved in sync in an effort to lick every square inch of his face. "I don't even know what to say."

  Anna laughed. "Even if you did, I don't think she would let you get a word in edgewise."

  Caleb stood up, grinning as he wiped off the trail of saliva on his face. Panting with excitement, Haley sat by his feet, then inched over until she was actually resting her body on top of them.

  "I don't think she wants you to go anywhere," Anna observed with a laugh.

  Caleb visibly drew in a deep breath. "I honestly don't think I've ever been so surprised about anything in my life." He paused before adding, "At least not about something good."

  Anna smiled. "I thought this might catch you off-guard a bit."

  "Catch me off-guard – that's putting it mildly. This is the nicest … the most meaningful thing that anyone has ever done for me."

  Anna was tempted to think that he was just being kind, but the earnestness in his eyes told her otherwise. "Well, I think I'll let you two get reacquainted while I finish up some work," she said.

  "You sure you can't hang out with us a bit?"

  "I think Hayley wants you all to herself right now. Besides, I'm finishing up a client's web site and I told him I'd be done by the end of the day."

  "Well, if you change your mind−" Caleb was silenced as he bent down to pet Haley, who quickly surged upward as she initiated another round of face licks.

  Lucky dog … Anna thought to herself as she watched the two of them tumble around together. Caleb was clearly capable of affection – just not with her. Still, she wouldn't let unrequited yearnings take away from the overwhelming happiness of the moment. Caleb and Haley were together again, and for that, she was pleased beyond words.

  The afternoon passed by quickly as it always did when she was engrossed in work, and as the early evening arrived, Anna found herself hesitantly knocking on the guesthouse door. The last time she had done so, the night had quickly ended with a humiliating exit, but she reminded herself that this time her visit was strictly on Haley's behalf.

  "Hey," Caleb said, looking slightly surprised as he opened the door.

  Before he could misconstrue her reason for being there, Anna thrust a bottle of canine probiotics into view. "I forgot about these earlier. The vet felt that her coat was looking kind of dull, and that these would help her digest nutrients from her food better. Plus he said that with everything she's been through, they could help strengthen her immune system."

  "Thanks," Caleb said as he took the bottle. As Haley popped her head out from behind his legs, Anna reached down and scratched her nose. Looking up, she was surprised to find that Caleb was pointedly staring at her. Momentarily unnerved by his intensity, she looked away, only to find that his line of vision was unmoved when she turned back.

  "Is something wrong?" she finally asked.

  Without answering, Caleb reached over and grabbed her forearm, pulling her inside and swinging the door shut behind them. Searching his eyes for an explanation, Anna was instead answered by the warmth of his lips as he pulled her body against his, kissing her hungrily and pulling her even closer until the softness of her body felt like it had collided with a brick wall of solid muscle. She felt almost dizzy with intoxication as he entwined his tongue around hers, pulling the bottom of her red halter top away and sliding his hand up her back. The warmth of his hand on her bare skin sent shivers the length of her body, and as he backed his way through the small living room, still holding her tight in his clutches, she willingly allowed herself to be pulled along, her body humming with anticipation. Moments later they were in the bedroom, Anna gazing into Caleb's eyes as he gently hoisted her onto the bed, standing over her quietly as she took his strong hand and held it with both of her own, kissing each fingertip and then pulling him down on the bed beside her. He draped himself over her, and though a word had yet to be uttered, a knowingness passed between them that spoke volumes with every exhilarating touch and lingering glance. Silently they undressed, slowly at first but then with quickened frenzy until they were furiously helping each other shed clothing as though the materials burned their fingers. As she pulled his shirt over his head, Anna caught her breath at the sight of Caleb's smoothly muscular arms and chest as he sat on the side of the bed facing her. She wrapped her arms around him as he pulled her over, her hands brushing up against the medley of scars across his back. As his body stiffened, he reached behind and gently pulled her hands away, his eyes telling her more than he could ever verbally reveal about their significance. After several weighted moments passed between them, she kissed him softly on the forehead, then maneuvered herself behind him as she kneeled on the bed and hugged him close. As her cheek leaned against the raised skin that snaked its away around his back, she closed her eyes and held him tighter, lifting her cheek and then replacing it with a kiss, followed by another kiss just inches to the side, and then another as she slowly circled his back with the warmth of her lips. Though she felt his muscles almost violently seize up with the first kiss, she now could feel him begin to relax and slowly breathe again. Turning around, he pulled her into a passionate kiss, his hands cupping her breasts and brushing against her nipples, sending waves of pleasure down to the spot that ached for him with an intensity unlike any she had ever known. Pulling her onto his lap, he stood up and gripped her buttocks as she wrapped her legs around him, gently releasing her as they fell back together on the bed, his body enveloping hers with a heaviness that somehow seemed to melt through her. As his tongue explored every inch of her body, she closed her eyes and gripped the blanket beneath her until she could take it no more, sliding further down underneath him until she could feel his hardness pushing against her. Time seemed to stand still as they locked eyes and he slowly entered her, pushing into the deepest areas as they moved in sync, each thrust stealing more of her breath as heightening pleasure set every nerve ending in her body on fire, culminating in an explosive wave of ecstasy that threatened to take her breath away for good. Caleb's breathing quickened as he gripped her tight, his body shuddering as he came inside her, a final gasp of air as his rigid body released and he rolled onto his back.

  "Oh my god," he said quietly, the silence now officially broken. He turned to face Anna, saying nothing more as his eyes searched hers, then pulling her close to his side as he wrapped his arms aroun
d her.

  Anna kissed his chest as she burrowed into his protective arms. Several moments passed before she, too, spoke. "I know one thing."

  Caleb peered down at her. "What's that?"

  "I should show up at your door with doggie vitamins more often."

  He smiled, pulling her into him even closer.

  Caleb lied awake in the dark, slowly stroking Anna's hair as she slept with her head nestled up against his chest. The fear of having a violent nightmare in her midst was enough to send adrenaline shooting through his body that was anything but sleep-inducing, and in this instance, he was grateful for the insomnia. As snippets of their earlier lovemaking played out in his mind, he thought about how he had so much wanted to be with her in this way for so long … and how it was everything he could have hoped for − and more. But where did they go from here? The threat of a nightmare – and of unintentionally harming Anna − was as real now as ever before. And that was just for starters. He shook his head, wondering how things could be turned so upside down. They had just been physically intimate for the first time, and he was the one lying awake and pondering what it all meant, while she was sound asleep and seemingly without a care in the world. Somehow it seemed like it should be the opposite … but then again, there was very little in his life that made sense anymore. He closed his eyes, recalling the moment with Anna – an instant and yet timeless − when inner pain and regret, guilt and remorse, had dropped away from his soul for the first time in five years. He had been in the clutches of this torment for so long that he had forgotten what it was like to be free. And now that it was back, its chokehold was stronger than ever … as if warning him what would happen if he ever tried to be free from it again.

  EIGHT

  "Haley, over here!" Anna called out as Haley ran after a Frisbee that she had just tossed across the backyard. With a precise leap, Haley caught the Frisbee midair, running back to Anna before doing a sudden U-turn and heading over to Caleb instead.

  "That's my girl," he said as he kneeled down and patted her affectionately.

  "I'm detecting some favoritism on Haley's part," Anna said with a laugh as she walked over and scratched her on the nose.

  "She knows who the strong alpha personality is here," Caleb boasted good-naturedly.

  "Oh, really …" Anna tried to feign insult, but she was too glad to see how relaxed Caleb was in Haley's presence to pull it off. In fact, the change in Caleb's demeanor since Haley's arrival seemed nothing short of miraculous. He was once again more engaged and outgoing, an overall ease of being that she had started to detect leading up to the July 4th cookout before his frightening flashback destroyed any progress that had been made.

  Anna smiled as Haley suddenly licked her hand – a seeming confirmation that Haley was equally grateful to be reunited with Caleb.

  "I'd like to see Merlin catch a Frisbee in midair, but of course he's just a cat," Caleb said, clearly goading Anna.

  "Oh, please. Catching a Frisbee is beneath him. He has better and more productive things to do with his time."

  "You're right. I saw him in the living room earlier when I was finishing up and he was busy filling out the window perch doing that productive thing that he does the most – sleep."

  Anna shook her head, trying hard in Merlin's honor to squelch a grin.

  "Did I tell you what a great thing you did by bringing Haley over here?"

  Anna smiled. "Only about twenty times. Not that there's anything wrong with twenty-one."

  Caleb leaned in for a kiss, and Anna melted into the moment. Though she had half assumed he would to return to avoidance mode immediately after their unexpected encounter almost two weeks ago, she had been more than pleasantly surprised to find that this wasn't the case. They had reached a deeper level of connection, a physical passion that conveyed what their words sometimes couldn't, and now there was no going back. As Caleb pulled her closer and their bodies melded magnetically, not even Haley's insistent bark could interfere with Anna's appreciation of Caleb's warm lips. But as Haley suddenly leapt away, she reluctantly disengaged in order to ascertain that Haley stayed within the boundaries of the yard.

  "Who in the world is that?" Anna asked as she was greeted with the sight of an unfamiliar woman entering the backyard by the side of the house. "Haley, come back here!" she yelled as the dog stopped in her tracks just several feet away from the visitor.

  Caleb turned to view the source of the ruckus, his relaxed face suddenly stricken. "Oh, no … god, no …"

  Anna's heart surged. "What? Caleb, what's wrong? Do you know this woman?"

  "It's Joel's wife," he finally replied, dread in his voice that matched the apprehension in his eyes as she slowly approached them.

  "There was no answer at the front door, so I thought I might find you out back here," she said as she gave Caleb a quick hug. "I'm Sharon," she added as she extended an unsteady hand to Anna.

  "How did you know where to find me?" Caleb asked.

  Anna's coiled innards tightened in their self-imposed vice as she observed Sharon's sleepless, red-tinged eyes.

  "Joel told me to look for you here if …" Her voice choked on itself as tears spilled forth. Caleb quickly pulled her into a hug, his eyes closed as he shook his head at the news that had yet to be spoken, yet he knew nonetheless.

  "He was killed by a mortar strike during a rescue," she said, stepping back from the hug to wipe her eyes. "He never had a chance."

  As Anna saw Caleb's stricken face, she knew what he was thinking: He survived a mortar explosion … and Joel did not.

  "I don't know how I can go on anymore!" Sharon cried, her body heaving as she sobbed and nearly collapsed into Caleb's arms again. "And Jacob – how do I tell Jacob that his father is never coming home?"

  Anna felt the ground spin beneath her, the image of Caleb and Sharon shrinking as she was seemingly pulled back into some other dimension.

  It can't be … it just can't be …

  As Joel's easy laugher and love-of-life enthusiasm flashed into her thoughts, her surroundings further disappeared until she was enveloped in complete blackness.

  "Anna! Anna – open your eyes!"

  The shout echoed from somewhere around her, then drifted away.

  "Anna!"

  This time the shout was inches from her face, pulling her instantly out of the blackness as she snapped open her eyes and gasped for air. Her first thought was to wonder why she could only see a light-blue sky dotted with clouds.

  "You passed out," Caleb said as he gently cradled the back of her head with his hand and lifted her into a sitting position.

  "I'm sorry," she replied weakly, embarrassed by her temporary loss of consciousness when it was clearly Sharon who needed support at the moment.

  "I didn't think you knew Joel that well," Sharon said, both grief and puzzlement etched on her face.

  "I only met him twice. But he was just so …"

  "I know," Sharon said quietly. "He was so full of life – that's probably what you were going to say."

  Anna nodded, holding on to Caleb's arm as he helped her stand up on wobbly legs.

  "And this damn war took that from him," Sharon whispered through gritted teeth. "I didn't want him to go back – something kept telling me that I might not ever see him again, even though he swore he wouldn't really be in any danger."

  Caleb and Anna exchanged knowing looks. Perhaps Joel had tried to spare Sharon from knowing the daily threats that soldiers faced in Afghanistan, regardless of their position.

  "Three weeks back at that hell hole," Sharon said, her voice still shrouded with disbelief tinged with bitterness. "That's all it took for him to leave my life … this world … for good."

  "Joel loved you so much," Caleb said firmly. "He'll always be with you – you have to know that."

  "No, Caleb, he won't. He'll be in my thoughts and my heart every second of every day for the rest of my life … but it will be his memory. Joel is gone – I've lost him for good. And for what? Som
e stupid war that should never have happened in the first place?"

  Anna waited for Caleb to reply, wondering what words he would choose to counteract Sharon's belief that Joel's death was in vain. His silence suggested that he, too, questioned whether the war was still a cause worth dying for. As a drop of rain unexpectedly fell on Anna's arm, she looked up at the dark cloud that had formed overhead, blocking out the earlier sunlight. A sudden rain storm was not unusual in late summer, yet as intermittent drops turned into a steady shower, she couldn't shake the eerie feeling that the universe was symbolically shedding tears … lamenting the loss of a good man who was taken from his family far too soon.

  Caleb stared at the ceiling as he lay on his bed, struggling to accept the unacceptable as Sharon's devastating announcement from earlier that day continued to echo in his mind. He was home, but the horrors of war had followed him back, and in the worst possible way. Joel had a loving wife and precious young son who adored him, as he did them. And now he was gone – snatched from their existence in a moment of time that could never be reversed. As the incessant pitter patter of rain played on the roof above, Caleb closed his eyes, his desolate thoughts momentarily shifted as Haley snuggled up closer against his side. He had read how animal behaviorists had theorized that animals could sense the emotions of their humans, but he didn't need any scientific study to convince him of what he already knew to be true. And yet, as Haley suddenly let out a loud whimpering sigh, he found himself questioning whether on some level, she too knew of Joel's fate. His thoughts returned to that fateful day when Haley had thwarted a deadly suicide attack. He was first on the scene to gratefully discover that she was still alive, with Joel just footsteps behind. Caleb's breathing quickened as the image of Joel vividly flashed in his mind, the scene playing out once again as Joel enthusiastically hugged Haley, his shirt soaking up the blood from her wounds as he declared that he was personally going to cook for her the biggest, thickest steak to thank her for her heroic actions.