Overthinking

by Robert Leary

  But of course, that’s not the case. Real relationships take real work, not just the right shampoo or hundred-dollar monthly facials.

  Some decisions made in the heat of information overload carry more severe and long-lasting effects than others.

  In the midset of information overload, our brains try to draw vital information to inform a decision from a massive pool of unnecessary and extraneous information. The risk of bad decision-making increases with the rate at which we are expected to make these decisions. For example, if you have a mere three seconds to decide which exit to take on the interstate and you’ve got GPS going on your phone, the radio blaring in your ears, children screaming in the backseat, and a police car racing by with the siren blaring, you’re going to have a lot more trouble making this decision than if you were riding alone, radio at a reasonable level, having already reviewed before leaving the house which exit you need to take. Our brains don’t always separate vital from nonvital information the way we want them to. Information overload like this can easily turn ugly if a driver makes a wrong decision then gets upset. Now emotions are involved, like frustration, and this only heightens the intensity of information overload, leading to poorer decision-making.

  In a more professional setting, consider an air traffic controller who is responsible for many flights coming in at the same time. Hopefully, each employee is trained and used to handling such a workload, but in a split second, one bad decision resulting from information overload can affect the lives of hundreds of people.

  The message is clear: Information overload can lead to poor decision-making that affects not only our lives but the lives of others.

  Now that we understand how information overload is affecting our brains, let’s talk about some strategies to help pull ourselves out.

  Moving Away from Information Overload

  As you’ve probably concluded by now in your life, there is no complete removing yourself from the tornado of information overload that seems to seep into every corner of modern life. But there are ways to move away from information overload through slowly removing the sources of those stimuli in your life.

  The first step is always recognizing that this inundation of information is negatively impacting your life in some way. Whether it’s a negative emotion, like low self-esteem, or a performance issue at work, you’ve recognized that overloading your brain has diminished your ability to discern what is worth your emotional and physical energy and what is not.

  How are you feeling now that you’ve been away from your phone for a few minutes? Did you forget you put it away? Or have you been fighting the urge to get up and check it? Either of these reactions is ok, because now you know a little bit more about how unconsciously or consciously addicted you may have become to your phone and whatever apps you tend to frequently use throughout the day.

  One of the best things you can do to get this ball rolling is to commit to limiting your phone time each day. Even if it’s just a little bit at first, do your best to replace the time you usually spend on your phone with other activities—activities that don’t involve a screen. Go outside and take a walk, listen to some soft music without lyrics, play with your dog or cat, or get one of those coloring books for adults.

  Another thing you can do is limit your multitasking. I know, it sounds like I’m telling you to take it easy or work less. It’s not a matter of encouraging laziness. You will find that the quality of your work output will improve the more you commit to focusing on one task at a time. Instead of getting a million things done at a time with a standard or below-standard result, you will complete each task and exceed even your own expectations for what you thought you could do.

  Make an actual phone call and set up a time to meet up with a friend for coffee at a quiet restaurant, or maybe your own home. Commit to putting each of your cell phones aside, on silent, and have a face-to-face conversation. Try to avoid topics in the media and talk about more meaningful topics. Ask how she or he is really doing, how they are feeling. You may end up making connections you haven’t made in years.

  Take a break from your desk at work at least once an hour to walk around and stretch your legs. This may not seem to have anything to do with information overload, but focusing on many tasks over a long period of time tends to take our attention away from physical health. Sitting is not great for our bodies, and it helps a lot to get up, even just for a few minutes, at least once every hour. Take a walk around the office, go get a drink, or walk around the building if it’s a nice day. You’ll be surprised at how much better you’ll feel, and it’s like giving your mind a reboot in the middle of possible information overload.

  Finally, take a break from all those doom and gloom stories being reported nonstop in the news. I know, it’s good to stay informed on what’s going on in our world, but you can overdo it. News media is just as addictive as social media and overloading yourself with information like this can cause information overload just as quickly. It is especially important to constantly monitor where you are getting your news information from. Be careful who you choose to follow and what news sources you choose to get your information from. Research the facts they’re presenting and see if they line up with what you find. Cross-reference information with other news sources and see if they align. It’s not an easy task, but you can take steps to protect yourself from less-than-creditable news sources.

  Now that you’ve made strides toward removing sources of information overload in your life, it’s time to deal with the overload that’s already there. In the next chapter, we’ll talk about how to declutter your mind to make room for a whole new outlook on life.

  Chapter 4: Declutter Your Mind

  You understand where some of your biggest overthinking triggers are, you’re working on gradually removing or lessening the things in your life that tend to cause information overload, and now it’s time to address the chaos inside your mind.

  In recent years, the idea of clearing your mind in order to be able to focus on life’s goals or daily tasks has become very popular. Many writers and speakers have offered tons of knowledge and tips for how people can start the process of sorting through, evaluating and then removing unwanted clutter from their minds. I believe that an important first step in this process is to examine and understand what is clogging up your mind. This way, you can begin to connect those sources of overthinking with the thoughts running through your mind. Cleaning up the source of overthinking is just as important as removing the individual thoughts from your brain.

  And remember, human beings are programmed to take in and process information. Some of this information is stubborn, triggering emotional responses that can’t just be clicked and dragged to the recycle bin like on our computers! It will take some time and focus to get into a routine and make real progress toward clearing your mind and learning to organize and evaluate the value of thoughts and feelings as you continue living your life.

  This journey is the start of a life-changing and lifelong process. Just because you banish chaotic thinking now, doesn’t mean it’s never going to try and creep up on you again in the future. Have confidence in yourself and your ability to move forward.

  So what do I mean when I say, declutter the mind? Put simply, there is no way for you to start cultivating better habits and more positive thinking without first clearing away the thoughts that are hindering your progress. Many thoughts and habitual cycles of thought are connected to emotions that hold us back and even block our views of what’s really going on. We’ve talked already about how outside influence and inner turmoil can manifest into a distorted view or evaluation of a loved one, a coworker, parent, or even child. Some people take in so much negative information about the world that they lose all sense of trust or respect for people, even complete strangers! Of course, this is severely limiting when it comes to finding and making real connections with other people. People who begin to automatically distrust and disrespect others will eventually isolate themselves, leading t
o even more emotional struggle in the form of anxiety and depression.

  Most psychologists attest to the fact that loneliness and depression are connected in a lot of ways. Human beings are social animals, from the moment we are born to the day we die. We are dependent on our caregivers for a long time. Once we become self-sufficient, we depend on others to work together for our survival. Society may look a lot different now than it did thousands of years ago, but we still derive happiness and an essential satisfaction in life from our connection and interaction with other human beings.

  I mention these points because a cluttered mind, I believe, is certainly a form of isolation. Think of yourself as being buried underneath a huge pile of thoughts that ultimately have little bearing on the course of your life. What did Kim Kardashian say this week? I should get the recipe for that meal I saw on Facebook. I can’t believe Trump said that again. Is my butt too big? How do I lose weight like the celebrities do it? Is my boss mad at me because of that joke I told at lunch today…blah, blah, blah.

  These thoughts may or may not sound familiar to you, but I bet if you sit down and really think about some of the thoughts that keep coming back to you, you will see a pattern. You will also see that these thoughts or series of thoughts really do nothing for you in terms of your quality or progress in life.

  Many of these crowding thoughts in our minds are products of what marketers want you to worry about. If you worry enough about something in your life or about yourself, you might be tempted to buy products which promise immediate improvement. It is important to separate which of your habitual thought processes originate from you and which ones originate from outside influence, like a Facebook ad. We talked about thinking and sorting in the last chapter in terms of your information overload. Now we’re going to start talking about a similar process, only we’re going to address the cluttered thoughts already in your mind.

  Effects of a Cluttered Mind Over Time

  At this point, we’ve discussed in detail that information overload stemming from marketing can lead to negative emotional reactions toward yourself and others. The marketers hope to turn this negative emotional reaction into a motivation to buy their products in order to fix those issues.

  But now, let’s take a more technical look at how a cluttered mind and information overload affects your brain over time.

  You may have heard that new coworker at the office, let’s call her Tammy, brag about how she is a “brilliant multitasker.” In a single morning, she seems to effortlessly breeze through her tasks and complete them on time, while others struggle to finish one or two tasks by the time the lunch bell rings. Tammy may get the impression that she is giving her mind three, four, or even five different tasks, and her brain is moving through all of these tasks at once effortlessly and in a timely manner. Well, I have to tell you. Tammy is just…wrong.

  The human brain can only focus on one thing at one time. That’s it. A person may learn to move from one thing to another with lightning speed, but he is still only focusing on one thing at a time. Ultimately, what brilliant multitasking comes down to is, Tammy is doing a lot of things within a short amount of time, dedicating very, very little time to each individual task. So, the question becomes one of quantity versus quality.

  Depending on the type of work, this kind of fast movement from one task to the next, maybe even a focus that allows one to do the same task over and over without getting too tired of it can be beneficial. Factory workers are asked to perform the same task over and over again throughout their shifts. You need a steady focused mind to keep up with a demand like that, or else he or she might fall asleep!

  Even though Tammy seems like she’s doing a great job, the fact is that her “multitasking” is increasing the chances of her making a mistake. Once this happens, it can lead to personal distress, because up to this point, Tammy has evaluated her performance based on how much she is getting done—not necessarily the quality of the work she’s performing. Especially in today’s increasingly competitive world, one mistake at work can lead to a lot of emotional fallout, and this is carried home and turns into stress that is carried from one place to the other. This is a classic symptom of a cluttered mind. When you can’t stop thinking about work, even when you’re at home eating dinner with the kids, then you’re missing out on some of the fundamental joys in life—spending time with your family.

  If this is you, don’t get discouraged. It’s pretty common and there are certainly ways to address it. But first, let’s cover some more reasons why a cluttered mind is detrimental over time.

  As we discussed in the chapter on information overload, too much information leads to poor decision-making. Once we lower the pressure or eliminate this source of overload altogether, we can start to see how the thoughts already in our minds are currently affecting us. Think about it. How long have you been obsessing over this or that aspect of your life? If you’ve already pinpointed a source of your overthinking to experiences in your childhood or teenage years, the answer is, a long time!

  As our thoughts repeat themselves and add to the mess that is already filling our minds, it gets harder and harder to discern between what are good habits and what are bad in terms of thought processes. For example, you may think that a general attitude of distrust, even at work, is protecting you from possible threat or danger. But take a deeper look and examine the flipside of that argument—what are you missing out on? And does this attitude make you happy or unhappy? Decluttering your mind is all about eliminating those thoughts which are affecting you negatively. The effects can be emotional, psychological, physical, etc. It’s amazing what thoughts can do to you over time.

  Harmful Coping Strategies

  Many people who acknowledge negative thought processes but don’t know how to deal with them turn to harmful ways of coping that can lead to serious health complications. Drinking, illicit drugs, and smoking are just a few of the most common. How many times have you seen the main character in a drama series explain that she needs a cigarette to deal with the stress of a situation? Or a character who claims to have stopped smoking sneak out onto the patio for a quick smoke after something traumatic happens. These temporary fixes do a lot more harm than good when it comes to coping with a cluttered mind. It may feel good to forget about them for a little while, but without addressing your thoughts and habits, they will never truly go away, and you will need stronger and stronger doses of your coping strategy in order to chase away those thoughts.

  Another way people try to run from their own minds is through coming home and zoning out in front of the TV. It feels good to come home from a stressful day at work and, instead of addressing the argument you had with your boss or talking through an important, stressful decision with your partner, you simply plop down on the couch to binge on a Netflix series you’ve been meaning to see. Again, the behavior is temporarily avoidant, not a fix. Those issues are still going to need to be addressed once that binging session is over, even though it felt good to run away for a short while.

  But more than just the issue of running away, think about the quality of a life that is filled with mindless, distracting behavior. What are you really growing toward? What is your meaning and purpose? Certainly not vegging out every night eating ice cream. Decluttering your mind means waking yourself up to your true goals, desires, passions, and values in your life. They are there, hiding underneath all the chaos. So, let’s clear it out so we can get to the good part!

  Let’s Declutter

  Like I said, the brain can only handle one task at a time. So, in order to evaluate a group of problematic thought processes in your mind, we need to take some time to write down all of those thoughts which we would deem unhelpful, negative, hurtful, or distracting. Remember, it’s not always about just trashing a thought that is affecting us negatively—sometimes we need to root these out and address them directly in order to dissipate their powerful effects.

  Once you have a list in front of you, it’s time to look at each
one and feel how that thought is affecting you. The trick to dispersing a negative thought process is to commit to interrupting that thought each time it enters your mind. When you start to think about that woman you think was hitting on your husband yesterday, interrupt the jealousy welling up and ask yourself, “Has my husband ever given me a reason to believe he would cheat on me?” “How often does he say I love you throughout the day?” “Would a conversation about this feeling I’m having get rid of the insecurity I’m feeling?”