His Temporary Fix

by Sofia Grey

  We stopped, just inside the doorway. Half a dozen elderly men were clustered around a wide-screen TV, watching a cricket match. The low buzz of conversation was relaxed, and the plump middle-aged woman wiping the bar top looked bored. I let out my breath, my heart pounding. He wasn’t here.

  Zack strode to the bar, his movements rough and jerky. “I’m looking for Barry Lafferty. I heard he drinks here.”

  The barmaid’s gaze swept up and down him, and her lips thinned into a scowl. “Not anymore, he doesn’t. He’s barred.” She nodded toward a broken window, patched with brown parcel tape. “He needs to pay for damages, too. Is he a friend of yours?”

  “He owes me something.” Zack’s voice was cold, and I inched closer to him. “Any idea where he might be?”

  “None at all.” She slapped the damp cloth onto the counter. “If you find him, let me know.”

  “What happened?” I broke into the conversation.

  Her gaze swiveled to me. “He was in here two nights ago, completely off his head, and I refused to serve him. He picked a fight with my husband when we asked him to leave, and next thing he’s smashing the place up. The window, the mirror we had behind the bar, and a row of glassware. He owes me close to four hundred bucks. I threatened to call the police, and that’s when he left.”

  “On foot?” Zack snapped, “or did he go with someone?”

  “In his truck. I can only hope the police caught him for driving under the influence.”

  There was nothing else to learn, and we went back to my car. Zack gripped the wheel with both hands and stared outside, his eyes unfocused.

  “What the fuck did she ever see in him?” He finally looked at me, pain flooding his eyes.

  “How about family? Does he have parents around here?”

  He shook his head. “Maybe a remote cousin, but no parents or siblings.” He blew out a short breath. “His friends are next. I’ve got a list, and we’ll check them, one by one.”

  I tried to crack a smile, but it was difficult. “How have you got all this information? You must have some formidable contacts.”

  Zack shrugged. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” He closed his eyes and dropped his head to the wheel. “Jesus. That wasn’t even slightly funny.” He peeked up at me. “Sorry, Hol. Very bad taste.”

  “I could ask Sam if you like, he knows pretty much everyone in the area.” At Zack’s raised eyebrow, I continued. “He’s the landlord for your rental. Don’t ask me how, but he knows all the local gossip. I figure he has friends on the police force.”

  “Sure. What have we got to lose?”

  …

  We spent the next three hours driving to each address on Zack’s list. The day was drifting away, the afternoon spent, and evening beckoning, and we continued to ask as many of Barry’s friends as we could find. They all denied seeing him in the past two days. One suggested a different bar, but that was another fruitless trip. I could only hope that Sam might be able to help after all.

  I’d always liked Sam, without ever knowing much about him. He was a permanent fixture in the tiny beachside community. Rumors abounded. He’d been in the Special Forces. He was an ex-CIA agent. Olympic athlete. His age could have been anywhere between thirty and forty, and as for his love life…that was as much a mystery. He lived alone at the top of the beach, but the grapevine was convinced he had a wife, one who never visited, or had ever been seen.

  We’d just come out of yet another shabby bar when he finally called me back. I put my phone on speaker, to share the conversation with Zack.

  “Hey, Holly, do you have Zack with you now?” Sam’s baritone was calm and relaxed.

  “Yes, he’s here.”

  “Zack, I’m very sorry for your loss. Your sister was a lovely girl, and I’ll miss her. And not just because she made the best coffee this side of Wellington.”

  Zack tipped his head. “Thank you.” His voice was clipped. “I need to find Barry Lafferty. Do you have any idea where he might be? I only have tonight to speak to him.”

  “I’m not sure. He doesn’t have any family as far as I know, and I guess you’ve checked his work?”

  “Yeah.” Zack sighed. “I didn’t think you’d be able to help, but thanks anyway.” He sat back in the car and rubbed at his temples. Lines of tiredness cut across his forehead. He must be exhausted.

  “I didn’t say that.” Sam’s voice snagged my attention. “I can make some inquiries. I’ll let Holly know if I find anything.”

  “Thanks, Sam.” I terminated the call and reached out to catch Zack’s hand.

  He gave me a weary smile. “I just feel so fuckin’ useless. Like everything I believed in was wrong. I was on the other side of the world, breaking up fights over land that had nothing to do with me, while my baby sister needed me. The one person I should have protected. I let her down, Hol. Let her down so fucking badly.” He swallowed hard and stared down at our linked hands.

  Tears pressed at my eyes, and I tried to blink them away. If he’d carved a hole in my belly with a rusty knife, it couldn’t have hurt any more. How could he blame himself?

  “I failed her,” he whispered, untangling our hands. “I fucking failed her.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Zack scrambled out of the car, the door swinging shut. I stared. He paced up and down, hands in his pockets, head bent. Should I go to him? He must want to be alone. I sat, frozen in an agony of uncertainty. When he leaned against the back of my car and dropped to the ground, I finally galvanized myself.

  He sat on the dusty car park, and I climbed out and then went to crouch next to him. “What can I do?”

  His pain-filled face twisted my stomach in fresh knots. “It was bad enough, knowing she was gone.” He swallowed and glanced down. When he looked back up at me, his face was shuttered, remote and cool. “I wish I’d never spoken to your brother. I think I would have rather not known this.” He continued, his voice a dull monotone. “I could have gone back to Afghanistan and lived with the thought she’d had an accident. A tragic fuckin’ accident.” He blew out a short breath. “But this? Knowing that bastard probably killed her. Hurt her. Abused my baby sister. And I never fucking knew. That’s what I can’t live with, Hol.”

  My knees were trembling so hard, I had to stand up and turn away.

  I’d known, as soon as Jas broke the ugly truth, that everything would change. If Zack ever saw me again, even just across a crowded street, he’d look the other way. He’d forever associate me with this ugliness.

  When my parents died, one of our neighbors had been lovely and kind. She’d bent over backward to help us, assisting my grandmother with the funeral arrangements, looking after Jas and myself for hours at a time. For years afterward I couldn’t even bear to speak to her. She represented the lowest part of my life, and I couldn’t untangle her in my mind from the events she was connected with. I knew Zack would feel the same about me.

  I swallowed, sucked in a ragged breath, and tried to compose myself. I couldn’t leave him there, his heart breaking while he blamed himself.

  Moving back to him, I held out a hand. “Let me take you home. To your place.”

  He slowly pushed to his feet but without my help. “You go, Hol. I’ll make my own way.” We were easily an hour’s drive from Jasper’s. How long would it take him to walk that far? I wrapped my arms around myself. I wouldn’t even consider doing that.

  “No,” I whispered.

  He frowned, the rapidly approaching dusk lending odd shadows to his face. I watched the last rays of light playing over his stubbled chin, and I waited for him to speak. “I’m not good company, Hol. You’re best—”

  “I’m best with you,” I blurted. Thank God it was too dark for him to see my cheeks coloring. I would not let this amazing man continue to beat himself up for something completely out of his control. He might hate me after tomorrow, after he’d returned to his friends and colleagues, but I’d damned well make sure I distracted him tonight.

 
I forced myself to take another step, moving into his space, crowding him. Not giving him the choice, I grabbed both his hands and squeezed tight. “Let me look after you.” Stretching up, I nuzzled against his chin and felt the rasp of his bristles on my face. “Don’t argue. Come with me.” I brushed my lips over his and felt his resistance, felt him tensing as though he would pull back.

  I didn’t give him time to think about it. Releasing his hands, I wound both arms around his neck and kissed him, hard. Please let me love you. His lips were cold. He could have been drinking ice water. Please let me take care of you. Was he frozen inside, too?

  “Holly,” he murmured, “I can’t—” No. I refused to listen. When his mouth opened to speak, I darted my tongue inside, flicking and teasing. He sighed. Hot breath flashed over my cheek. “It’s not fair to you.”

  “Let me be the judge of that.” I clung tighter and claimed his lips again, praying I wasn’t wrong, hoping I hadn’t screwed up.

  “Christ.” He responded, cupping both hands around my face and dropping hungry kisses over my mouth. “You deserve better than me, baby.” At last he was kissing me back. His resistance melted and a second later, he scorched me with the blast as he devoured me. I could have been a dead tree in a forest fire. When he left, all that would remain would be a pile of ash.

  I don’t know how long we stood there, entwined on the car park, but when I finally lifted my head, it was completely dark. My heart raced, and every cell in my body burned for him. I placed my palm over his chest and marveled at the steady thump of his heart. How did he have such an effect on me?

  “Do you need to see your brother? Walk the dogs?”

  “Yes. No. I’m not sure.” I curled my fingers into his jacket, unwilling to move, to pick up my responsibilities again.

  Zack smoothed some loose hairs back from my face, his touch painfully gentle. “I’ll drive. You ring him.” He gazed deep into my eyes, his lips a heartbeat away. “If you want to come back with me, I can’t promise to be gentle with you, Hol. I want to pound into you all night long, fuck you until you don’t remember your own name. Do you understand?” Dark flames of lust danced in my belly at his words. He wanted to lose himself in me.

  I was already lost.

  Chapter Twenty

  The drive back to Jasper’s was silent. Zack gripped my hand where it lay on his thigh, and I clung to him, trying to reassure him with my presence. I kept thinking about Marnie and her missing boyfriend. Of the elegant Steph and how she fit into Zack’s life, and of Marnie’s cat. The cellar had reeked of cat piss; had her beloved pet returned home when Marnie died? She’d only moved a few streets away by all accounts, and cats were notorious for finding their way back to their old homes.

  There were too many thoughts rattling around inside my head, and I was relieved to get back to Jasper’s and the simple chores that awaited me. Zack helped. The dogs would be fine without a walk tonight and so we just fed them and then made our supper. None of us were particularly hungry, and we picked at toasted sandwiches as we sat around the kitchen table.

  Jas looked pale and ill, and after a couple of mouthfuls, he pushed his plate away. “I can’t believe she’s gone. I should have done more. If I hadn’t been so careless…”

  I was confused. “What do you mean?”

  “I helped her move, right? And I meant to stop by every day, just to see if she was okay. Make sure Barry wasn’t giving her grief. But I didn’t.” He tugged at his hair and then turned to me, his eyes full of pain. “The night after, I was driving over the hill in a fuckin’ foul mood and not paying attention to the road. And yeah, next thing I’m in hospital, and I didn’t think about anything but myself for the next two weeks. I didn’t even text her.”

  I knew how much pain he’d been in, how he’d been dopey for days while they fixed up his leg. I touched the back of his hand. “You weren’t texting anyone, Jas. You were barely even speaking at first. You can’t blame yourself.”

  “Easy to say.” Jas shrugged. “If I hadn’t crashed my car—”

  “And if I’d paid attention, I would have done something about it years ago.” Zack’s face was a mask. “You did a fuck sight more than me. The only thing we can do now is make sure that bastard faces justice.”

  “I’ll do everything I can.” My brother and my lover stared at each other and seemed to reach a silent understanding. We didn’t speak any more after that. Zack helped me clean up, and then I went to grab my toothbrush and a clean pair of panties for the morning.

  When I returned to the kitchen I noticed an odd atmosphere, a new tension that hadn’t been there earlier. Jas stood by the table, crutches under his arms, glowering up at Zack. He, in turn, stood quietly, hands at his sides. I’d heard the buzz of voices without paying attention to what they were saying, and I lurked now in the doorway, curious about their conversation.

  “You hurt my sister and you answer to me. Got that?” Jas sounded menacing, and I stared in amazement. Zack was taller and wider and could probably snap my deluded brother in half if he felt so inclined, but he stayed calm and nodded earnestly. I felt a wave of affection for my little brother. His heart was in the right place.

  I cleared my throat, and they both jerked to attention and turned to face me, matching false smiles in place. “What are you two doing?”

  Zack straightened his shoulders and held out a hand to Jas. “I’m leaving early in the morning, so I might not see you again.” They shook hands, all very formal. “Thank you for taking care of Marnie. I owe you for that. If you ever need my help…” He left the sentence hanging but Jas nodded.

  “Yeah, and good luck to you. Stay safe.”

  …

  We walked slowly back to Zack’s place, and I listened to the night creatures around us, the only sounds apart from the padding of our feet and the ever present rumble of the surf. The night was warm and humid, and I wondered if a storm was approaching. It was unseasonably mild, and I considered again why Marnie might have been going for firewood. Why she was even on that property. Something else didn’t add up, but I hesitated to say my thoughts aloud.

  Her boyfriend was supposed to have found her when he came home from work, but the meal abandoned on the kitchen table had been breakfast.

  I gave myself a mental shake. There was no point in saying anything. Zack was hurting enough already. Instead, I squeezed his fingers and inched closer for the last few meters. There was one question I had to ask, though, and I fumbled for the right words. “I want to ask you about Steph.”

  “Steph?” His nose wrinkled as though puzzled. “What about Steph?”

  “Your, uh, mother said something.”

  His brows tugged together in confusion and created a furrow on his forehead. I wanted to kiss it away. “What’s my mother got to do with anything?”

  I felt embarrassed now, and my cheeks heated. “She told me Steph was, quote, practically your fiancée, unquote.” I shrugged, but inside I cringed.

  “No way. She’s just a kid.” He lifted our linked hands to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “I’ve never seen her as anything other than Marnie’s friend.”

  I breathed deeply and pushed back my anxiety. She didn’t mean anything. It was just his mother making trouble. Steph visibly adored him, and maybe was even in love with him, but Zack had no feelings for her. That’s all I needed to know.

  …

  Inside the rental cottage he flicked on the kitchen lights, grabbed two tumblers from the draining rack, and then opened the freezer door. “Don’t know about you, but I need a drink.” The half-empty vodka bottle appeared in his hand, and he set it all down carefully on the table before tugging out a chair for me. Without waiting for my reply, he poured two generous measures, leaving the bottle open.

  I lifted the glass he nudged toward me and took a cautious sip. Straight from the freezer it had an oily feel to it, was thicker and more viscous. Even more potent. The alcohol hit the back of my mouth and stole my breath, making me gasp. Zack was u
naffected. He knocked back the drink in two gulps and poured another. My eyes were watering from the icy burn, and he must have misunderstood.

  He groaned, abandoned his drink, and pulled me up and into his arms. “Don’t cry, Hol. There’ve been enough tears today.” He nuzzled against me, seeking my mouth and pressing his lips to mine, his tongue demanding entrance. My senses were flooded with the sensation of vodka again, mixed with the unique taste that was all Zack.

  Gentle at first, it was as though something flicked a switch inside of him, and he turned up the heat. One hand tangled in my hair, the other curled around my hip. He pulled me against his lean body, his erection nudging my belly. I acknowledged the pressure on my hair and lifted my head to meet his lips full-on. Hot and hungry, he controlled the kiss, held me in place, and then slid his hand down across my butt before tugging at my skirt.

  I knew the exact moment he discovered my continued panty-less state. Warm fingertips skated over the curve of my ass and paused, a strangled groan emerging from his throat. “God, Holly. I have to be inside you.”

  I sucked in a breath through lungs that were forgetting their basic function and curled my hand around his neck to pull him back to me. Every inch of me ached for him, for the feel of him moving inside me, possessing me. Making me whole.

  Zack walked me backward a step, and another, and one more until I came up against a wall. I didn’t care. I wanted him so badly, so much, I’d strip naked in the city center if that was the only way to have him. My inner thighs were slick with arousal and every moment he made me wait, the tendrils of desire wrapped tighter. At this rate, I’d come the second he entered me.

  “Don’t move.” He took hold of both wrists and lifted them above my head, then yanked at my shirt, the mother-of-pearl buttons scattering under his fingers. Finding my bra underneath, he pulled down the cups to expose my breasts. They looked even bigger like that, the nipples swollen and aching. “Oh fuck.” Zack paused, his lips moving with no sound. “You are so fuckin’ perfect like this, Holly.” His whisper made me squirm with anticipation. He palmed the sensitive flesh, the slight calluses on his hands creating a delightful friction. “All mine.”