The Sordid Promise

by Courtney Lane

  I heard him mutter something under his breath as I walked past. I'm pretty sure it was a threat to make good on disciplining me for my smart mouth in the very near future.

  It felt awkward to be the passenger for a change. Eric wasn’t exactly the safest driver. He tailgated far too much and went a little too far over the speed limit. I couldn’t keep my hand off the interior door handle.

  “Fucker,” he muttered as a driver cut him off, nearly causing an accident. Eric glanced over at me with a small smirk. “That death grip you have on the door…” He shook his head. “Living in fear.”

  I removed my hand and sunk further into the butter-soft leather seat, but I couldn’t stop fidgeting. His V8 engine roared as he downshifted, easily speeding past a slow line of cars on the highway. I kept my eyes down to my lap, so I couldn’t see the onslaught of traffic that only served to increase my slight anxiety. “Why a doctor?”

  “Nice. Actually asking questions to get to know me. See. I knew the alien thing was a front. There is an actual person under that cute, tight little shell.”

  “I wish you’d stop doing that. Having a guy compliment my body, doesn’t exactly do for me what you think it does.”

  “I know what gets you off, Nik.” His tone had an insidious quality to it.

  I rolled my neck, hoping to alleviate the sudden tingle at the base of my skull. “And the answer to my question?”

  “People become doctors for one of three things; the money, the god complex, or to help people. You can’t really survive in the field unless it’s one of those reasons.”

  “Sometimes people do things for another’s approval.”

  He shot a pointed glance in my direction. “I’m not one of those people.”

  “You’re seeking my approval. Isn’t that what all this grand—bordering on stalker—behavior is about?”

  “You don’t understand people at all. You’re trying to put labels and boxes on everything, like people are logical. Most of us are illogical…including you.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t hang around a lot of people, because I can’t be bothered with the illogical.”

  “More to the fact, you isolate yourself because of fear. Scared someone might hurt you or betray you. You’re missing out on a lot of good times. I bet all the times I’ve made you smile could be counted as the most you’ve smiled in years.”

  As I took a moment to reflect and acknowledge that he was right, another small smile crept from my lips.

  “See, hanging around someone other than yourself can be a good thing.”

  Janet couldn’t have carried a bigger grin on her face than she did when she saw Eric and me together. She was wearing a ridiculous pair of brightly hued smiling dog scrubs. “She’s having a better day today. I think she knew she had a reason to.” She grabbed my arm and tugged me away from Eric. She glanced at him and flung her hand in the air, like it’d caught fire. I grew annoyed when she started to field me with questions about Eric.

  I ignored her and went inside my mother’s room with Eric at my side.

  Her jaw dropped as she dramatically removed her glasses with a slow grin. “As I still breathe. Should I call the chaplain and the city clerk now? I have them on speed dial. Should I call up to the maternity ward and borrow an infant? Wonderful! I can die happy now.”

  Eric looked between my mother and me with confusion.

  “Mother,” I groaned.

  “You’re glowing, Diouana. Glowing and—” She clasped her heart, shaking her head with another smile. With bright eyes, she took Eric in. “Good morning, young man.”

  “Mrs. Givens.” Approaching my mother’s bedside, he bowed his head in close proximity to my mother’s face. As she held his head, they gazed at each other for a few moments of silence. After kissing his forehead, she whispered something inaudible to him that made him nod. When she was done, they slowly grinned at each other, like they’d successfully evaded conviction.

  Bewildered, my mouth twisted to inquire about the overly friendly scene.

  Eric turned to me with an expression that shut down my pending questions. “Coffee, Nik?”

  I nodded.

  “Straight black, right?”

  “Yes,” I said dreamily, surprised that he knew that.

  He winked at me as he departed.

  “You’re not walking with slightly knocked knees.” My mother examined me with a slight look of disappointment. “Did he tend to your wilting flower last night?”

  “He…turned me down,” I answered without batting an eyelash. I was still sore about the fact that he turned me down at all.

  “Smart of him to do so.”

  I tossed my eyes to the ceiling and took up space on the edge of her bed. “What was up with the ‘more than we just met’ kiss? I thought he wasn’t your doctor.”

  “As long as I’ve been cooped up in the hospital? I’ve gotten to know a few people. It’s a common socializing trait, Diouana. You’ll start to understand it more when that gorgeous young man teaches you to open up.” She grabbed my arm, jiggling it with a smile. “Just look at you. You look like my daughter again. How are things? Did you have your first date? What was it like? Did you canoodle? Second base? It always confuses me. Is it third base or second that includes heavy petting?”

  “While it’s never weird for you to talk like this, it’s weird for me to talk about…him….like he’s my boyfriend. I’m barely at the point where I can stand him.”

  She smiled with her eyes, creating tiny distinguished wrinkles at the corners. “Keep up your posturing, Diouana, but I saw you smile. The mere fact that you’re not in a tizzy about my calling you by your birth name is very telling.”

  “Is it still too late to do that?”

  “Very.” She squeezed my hand with a prideful look on her face. “I no longer have to worry about you. You’ll continue to give him a chance, won’t you? He’s just perfect for you.”

  “Careful, Mom. You’re starting to sound like you arranged this.”

  She kissed the top of my hand, but seemed startled as she looked at the television. “Damn! Did you invest in Tellen Corp?” The corners of her lips turned down in disappointment.

  “Unfortunately.”

  “I told you it was a bad buy. They stupidly ousted their CEO. Stocks plummeted three dollars a share.” She closed her Agent & Broker magazine as she grimaced. With her face contorted in agony, her eyes began to water. She quickly wiped the moisture from her cheeks. “Our visit today might be cut short,” she strained. She let out a hoarse cough as she pushed the pain dispense button. “Have you gotten my dress?”

  “C-came in the mail yesterday.” I studied her, concerned by her sudden downturn. My heart sank deeply inside my chest.

  “Margot has agreed to do my hair and makeup. I could never trust the funeral parlor’s makeup artist to do it.”

  “Only you would contract a celebrity makeup artist to style you for your funeral. What’s the point? Your casket will be closed.”

  “It’s for you, Diouana. I want you to remember the beauty your mother was.”

  “I remember every day, Mom.”

  She gave me a faint smile.

  Brought back to the reality of the situation, I thought about the talk I was supposed to have with Eric; the chat that was rudely preempted by a bitch in heat. “The talk…didn’t exactly happen.”

  “Don’t you worry about that now. He’ll come around.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

  “Trust in me, Diouana. He’ll come around. All you have to do is ask when the time is right. You’ll get that opportunity soon. Maintain your equanimity, daughter.”

  Eric returned to the room with a cup of coffee in hand.

  “Diouana, can you excuse Eric and me for a moment?” she asked as Eric slipped the cup of coffee to me.

  I gave her a look of puzzlement, but followed her orders anyway.

  “Close the door,” she croaked behind my stride.

  I kic
ked up the stopper, balancing my hot Styrofoam cup as I allowed the door to close behind me.

  I hung back for a bit, gazing through the vertical smoky glass window in the door. Eric leaned over my mother’s bed, nodding to her as her lips moved. He took her hand, clutching it like a son would hold onto a feeble mother. The whole exchange….rang odd.

  Janet joined my side and blocked my view. “They might be a while. Going on break. Wanna grab something from the cafeteria?” Janet asked me.

  I shrugged, because I was too stunned by the scene I witnessed to decline as I usually did.

  I stretched out on my mother’s couch as I watched the end credits roll. “Albeit gory, the message about the arrogance of white collars from first world countries, and how they think they are saving third worlds and indigenous cultures with westernization….very poignant.”

  With a smirk, Eric leaned back on the couch and rolled his head against the headrest. “Okay, movie critic. Are you going to go into a dissertation about the destruction westernization causes?”

  “No.” I sank on the couch as I grabbed the remote and turned off the television. “I just read a lot.”

  “Too much, because you don't have a social life.”

  “Are you intimidated by smart women? I read that it’s a thing with men. They have to have more over the woman whether it be money, looks, or education. Otherwise, they feel emasculated.”

  “You read way too much. Nothing about you intimidates me.”

  I met his eye contact as I folded my arms and crossed my legs. “Maybe it should.”

  “I have eyes, Nik. I saw the cuts on your arms…and your legs. The fact that you boasted about trying to commit suicide at my dinner. If I was going to run scared, it would’ve happened by now.”

  “I didn’t boast about it.”

  “Yeah, you really did.”

  “I can’t work you out.” I slid closer to him and tucked my knees to my chest. “I don’t know what it is you really want.”

  “Because you keep thinking I just want to fuck you. Again. Boxes. Black and white.” He mirrored my position and crossed one leg lazily over the other. His lids lowered as his expression turned to complete composure. “I’m very wicked, Nik, but I’m perfect for you. Be patient, and I’ll show you how.”

  My mouth gaped. The fact that he admitted he was damaged garnered a point in his pro column. “Boxes,” I swallowed. “Okay. So, I shouldn’t think that you and my mother are a little too personal for two people who met just once?”

  He completely broke our eye contact and stared at the blank screen.

  “Eric?”

  He crashed into me, kissing me with delicate softness as he clasped the side of my face. He pressed his body against mine, forcing my body to rest fully on the couch. As the smooth leather cradled me, he took possession of my mouth with an erotic hunger. My attempt to wrap my legs around him was quickly thwarted. He grabbed my thighs firmly, hurting me with the rough way he prevented me from my purpose.

  His lips continued to serve as a neutralizer—an addictive, mind-numbing neutralizer. My hands wandered onto his well-defined back, and held firm around his taut behind. He separated his lips from me, just barely. He teased me, running the tip of his tongue against the peak of my lips. I lightly moaned and sucked the tip.

  He paused to search my eyes with an overt softness.

  “Eric,” I implored, because I didn’t want him to stop. I knew what I wanted, and I didn’t care if he moved on to another girl the next day. I had no intention of drawing out a relationship with him. A man like him couldn’t be tamed. I didn’t need his friends’ warnings to know that. I didn’t want to tame him. I didn’t come to him with stars in my eyes. I just wanted something different for the night; something to take my mind off…everything.

  His sudden self-satisfied grin thrust me out of my comfort. Unexpectedly, he clutched the back of my head. With his hand tangled in my strands, he yanked my head back, forcing my neck to arc. His parted lips grazed the curve of my neck, setting it aflame. “Nikki,” he soughed, “keep begging for my cock. You’re making me so hard.” His lips latched onto the curve of my chin, sucking it hard enough to make me whimper. I tried to reach out for him, but he gathered my hands in one of his, placing them just above my head. “I can’t wait until I can make you beg for more than just my cock. And when I fuck you, baby, you’re going to swear my cock was a gift from the heavens.”

  I shivered and gasped.

  He laid his lower half between my legs. Slipping his hand down his torso, he adjusted his thick excitement underneath his slacks. He pushed my skirt up to my waist, and writhed his hardness against me.

  “Fuck me,” I moaned, stuck in his hold and unable to move away from the torture. “Please.”

  “That’s right, baby. Keep begging me for it.” He latched his lips to the bottom of my lip. Sucking hard on my lip, he let it pop on release. He reached down, undid his pants and pulled out his cock. It pulsed heavily against my panty-covered slit. “You’re going to have to wait until I want to give it you,” he sneered. “Until I think you can handle it. I know my torment is making you so horny right now. I know as soon as I walk out that door you’re going to slip those slender fingers inside your wet cunt.” He looked at me through heavy lids. “Don’t. Or I’ll make your wait longer. And, Nik….don’t even think of filling that need with anyone else. If anyone gets to fuck you from here on out, it’ll be me and only me.”

  His vulgar seduction and strong front made my tremors worse. The throb between my thighs bordered on excruciating. He began to grind his hardness against my apex, manipulating me through my panties. “You love the way I talk to you, don’t you?” He increased the pressure of the tease.

  “Yes,” I gasped as my slit continued to burn with the ever increasing moisture.

  He reached down and lightly circled his hands around my throbbing clit. The gesture served to increase the tease, because it was too light to allow for a pleasurable release. “You’re a very dirty girl, aren’t you, Nik?” He sucked in a sensuous breath. “I’m going to enjoy making you come on my cock, my fingers, and in my mouth. My sex is going to set a standard that no man has ever reached, and nor will another man get a fucking chance to.”

  I wanted to curse him. I wanted to scream. The torture he forced me to endure felt so intense, I couldn’t restrain my body from shaking.

  “Now…tell me that you’ll be a good girl for me.”

  I whimpered, struggling to say anything. Having my control taken away was freeing to say the least.

  Removing a hand from my hair, he grabbed a fistful of his erection while still holding my hands firmly in the other hand, and rocked the head of his erection against my clit. “Nikki,” he charged in a throaty whisper.

  “I won't touch myself,” I stated quickly through a whisper.

  His eyes blazed as he abruptly grabbed me by the crown of my hair, jerking my head back.

  “I’ll be a good girl for you,” I rasped.

  “Very…good.” He searched my eyes with a mischievous sneer. Abruptly, he lifted away from me. He shoved his erection back down in his pants before I got a chance to take in the view. His expression completely changed. It was as if the most sexually agonizing seven minutes of my life never happened. “Can’t stay. Have to get to work in an hour. Dinner at my place tomorrow. Eight-thirty. Be on time.” He leaned down, kissed me briefly and was out the door.

  I finally took a breath. While thumbing my sore mouth, I crossed my legs to fight against the deeper throb there. I grabbed a silk pillow from the couch and screamed the full extent of my agony into it.

  Maisha’s short angry barks woke me up in the middle of the night. Underneath the loud proclamation of her annoyance, I heard a commotion emulate from next door. Groggily, I slipped out of bed. A few cars were parked in Eric’s driveway. Three men walked with Estelle as she sauntered up the walk. A man came behind her and grabbed her by the hair. Another stood in front of her, grabbed her neck a
nd kissed her. The man behind her lifted the back of her dress and spanked her behind with a harsh openhanded slap. There was something around her neck that allowed the man kissing her to drag her inside the house.

  All three disappeared inside the house with a slam of the door.

  I slipped back into bed, more confused than ever about what really went on next door.

  She had a feeding tube, a catheter, and a breathing tube connected to a ventilator. She could barely open her eyes when I called her name. Her hand jerked, but barely lifted from the bed.

  The sinking feeling in my chest told me that what we so cavalierly planned for needed to occur. The time came for my promise to her to be fulfilled.

  No. This is too soon. I thought I was prepared. I thought I could handle it but—no this can’t happen now. Not yet. Not now. I still…need her. “S-she was fine yesterday. W-what happened to her?” I asked Janet through heavy sobs. “Janet?” I clutched my mother’s hand as the tears fell.

  Janet was so quiet, she drew my eye. She stood in the doorway with tears streaming down her cheeks. “She…had problems breathing last night…Nikki, it’s time to prepare,” she said quietly.

  “P-prepare for what?”

  She looked at my mother like I was supposed to read through her cryptic words.

  I finally did. She knew what my mother and I had planned. “No. I’m not ready. I…I just talked to her yesterday. She might wake up tomorrow. We have to wait. She has to wait. She thought he would help her, but he won’t. He’s not the right one. It’s not time to prepare for anything. Not until I get her home. She can’t die here. I promised I wouldn’t let her.” I talked quickly through a perceptible effusion.

  “With his uncle’s colon cancer, we thought he would do what he—never mind. Just...let me talk to him. I’ll make this right. What I can make right.” She gave me a nod and left me alone with my mother.

  I dropped the copies of Agent & Broker on the floor. I grabbed her frail hand and kissed the back of it. “Mom? Mommy, please, don’t go. I’m not ready. I know I said I could handle this but I—please, don’t leave me. I can’t do this life without you. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry. Please, just…c-come back.” Everything I held back, bubbled to the surface. The sadness was palpable. I’d never felt more….alone.