Resuscitate (Annihilate #1)

by S. Morayla

  Unrelenting, his fingers bring me closer to the edge.

  Lust-filled, amber eyes meet mine as my orgasm hits. Zayne’s name falls from my lips; warmth courses through my veins. My breathing is still ragged as Zayne kisses up my body before claiming my mouth.

  “Tell me again that you’re mine,” he breathes out, his voice full of desire. The ache between my legs and the fire in my belly start to flame anew.

  “I’m yours,” I say with no hesitation or regret. We both know it’s true. I’ve been his since that first night in the parking lot. I can no longer deny that I want him. I want to be with him, grow with him, give him strength when he is weak, put air in his lungs when he can’t breathe.

  I want Zayne Morad. I want us to be each other’s stability in this crazy, messed up world. I want to be his guiding light when he finds himself in the dark. I want all of this with him, because this is what he is to me.

  My resuscitator.

  He’s breathed new life back into my stale, stagnant lungs. He’s shown me how strong I can be, that it’s okay to lean on my friends. Most of all, he’s shown me that Rhys will never have to leave my heart—there’s room for both of them.

  “I need you, Nat. I need to be inside you. I want to claim you as mine and only mine. Can I do that? Can I claim you as mine.”

  His devotion rings through his words. His lips show his actions by kissing and worshiping every inch of my body. I nod at him. Verbalizing is hard because there is a knot of emotions stuck in my throat. He looks at me in reverence. I’m the only thing important to him in this moment—I can see and feel it all around me.

  “I need to hear you, Natalee. Please.” Always the gentleman—even now. I take his face in my hands. His eyes close momentarily. When he opens them, they burn with passion.

  “Yes, Zayne, I want that.” He crashes his lips to mine, taking my breath away. He pulls back, slides off the bed, and walks to his jeans, pulling out a condom.

  “You came prepared?”

  “What can I say I knew I wanted you. I was hoping it would end this way and not with me out on my arse.” He shrugs, walking back to me, ripping the wrapper open with his teeth. I haven’t even noticed that he’s still tucked away in his boxer briefs.

  When he drops them to the ground, I swallow.

  Zayne’s girth alone could put Rhys to shame. I swallow again, trying to rid these thoughts. I look up at Zayne, who has a smirk on his face. My eyes roam back down to where his hand is stroking his cock. He’s already sheathed himself and I stare at him, mesmerized. I know he won’t hurt me, but it still scares me.

  “What’s wrong, Shorty?” I shake my head, my eyes never leaving his cock. Then I wonder if it would even fit in my mouth. I’ve only had oral sex once. Zayne crawls back on the bed, kissing me. “Don’t worry, baby, I won’t go fast. You’re already so wet.” To prove this, he dips his finger into my pussy and pulls it out, coated with my desire. “I will continue to get you wet and ready for me. If I hurt you, tell me and I’ll stop, alright?” I nod, but again, he wants me to tell him.

  “Alright,” I breath out, feeling his cock at my entrance. He spreads my legs and very slowly, pushes forward. With just his tip inside me, my pussy becomes a greedy bitch and doesn’t care how big he is. She just wants him deep inside—now!

  “You okay?” he breathes out, kissing and sucking on my neck. It feels so good, my body wants to buck and take him in, but I know I need to be patient.

  “Yes. Please, Zayne, keep going,” I pant, my hormones running rampant.

  He pushes in a bit further, stealing the breath from my lungs. “Fuck, Nat, it’s so good, and I’m not even all the way in yet.” He kisses me, letting my body acclimate to his girth slowly. He continues to kiss me, tweaking my nipples and rubbing my clit. Little by little, he enters me, until he is finally fully inside.

  “Fuck me, Zayne. Please, I can’t take it. I need to feel you in me. Claim me, I’m yours.” Those are the magic words. He pulls back slowly and slams into me, again and again, continuing his torture.

  The tingle in my spine begins to intensify, signaling the start of my orgasm. His eyes stay locked on mine as he thrusts into me, over and over.

  In the next instant, he slows his movements. My orgasm is within grasp and I want it so bad. I buck my hips, meeting his every move.

  “I want to make love to you, Shorty. I’ve never done that with any girl, but I want to with you.” To know I’m the only girl he’s felt this for and done this with makes my heart beat happily.

  The way he looks at me and worships my body makes me want to cry. He rubs my clit, bringing my body to a deep yearning. Zayne tells me how beautiful I am, how perfect I fit him. All these words and the way his hands caress my body pushes me over the edge, crashing into a million pieces.

  Zayne’s name falls from my lips. His groans fill up the space, making my nipples harden further and my pussy clench.

  He begins to thrust into me with wild abandon, again and again. My name falls from his beautiful lips, making me smile beneath him.

  “Your pussy is going to be the death of me. I don’t think I can ever get enough of you screaming my name or the way your pussy clamps onto my dick.” His breathing is ragged as he shakes his head at me. “Those little mewls and moans…fuck, just thinking about it is making my dick hard again, but…” as gently as he can, he pulls out, making me wince a bit, “you look knackered.” He kisses my forehead before going into the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

  He comes back out with a damp washcloth.

  “Let me clean you up a bit, love.” I nod my weary head, my eyes watching as he takes care of me yet again.

  Better Than Words

  “You look happier, Natalee. Did you have a good Christmas?” Dr. Winchester inquires.

  I worry my lip before answering, “Yeah. It started rough, but in the end, it turned out well.” I’m hoping Dr. Winchester doesn’t want me to go into details. After my talk with Zayne about Rhys, we finally got our relationship on track. It was the events that happened later that made it rough.

  “What happened?” I want to roll my eyes at him, because damn it, he never lets me just skim over shit.

  “I told my boyfriend about Rhys.” Dr. Winchester’s eyebrows rise in surprise.

  “Oh, and how did that go?”

  “Hard, but if I want a future with him, I knew I’d have to let him into my life, including my past.”

  “You told him about your mother too, I assume?” I shift my eyes around the room, not wanting to look at his face. I really don’t want to answer his question.

  “No,” I whisper, rubbing my hands on my jeans.

  “Why?” Fuck. Alright, I get it, I should have told Zayne everything—and that includes my mom.

  “The only people who know the whole truth is Leslie and Adriana. Harrison doesn’t even know. I think after all the hate I got about Rhys, I…” My chest hurts thinking about my mom and the messages I received. I rub my hand over my heart to help dull the pain. The doctor must be letting me process my feelings because he gives me a minute. “I don’t want Zayne to think I’m anything like her.” I swallow, but the hot ache in my chest grows.

  “Well, Natalee, it’s a new relationship. I’d say there are things you are allowed to hold back on until you feel comfortable. By coming to therapy, you are navigating and learning about your grief. If and when the time is right, you will know. Don’t pressure yourself.” I take in his words, mulling them over.

  “What else happened?” he asks.

  “Huh?” I ask stupidly. He quirks an eyebrow at me before his eyes soften.

  I let out a sigh and continue. “My best friend decided he can’t be around his ex, Leslie, anymore, so he basically made it clear, if the guys aren’t signed by the end of this semester, he’s going back to England to finish out his schooling.” I swallow back the lump of emotion clogging my throat. Remembering how I walked toward the kitchen overhearing Zayne and Harrison’s conversation.
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  “I told her last night, Zayne. I told her I can’t do this with her. I need to let her go. This isn’t healthy for either of us. I will always love her, she’s my Venus, but I can’t put my heart through this anymore. So, I’ve thought long and hard. By the time next semester ends, if we are no closer to being signed, I’m going home. Back to England.” The air was punched out of my lungs; I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  “What the fuck do you mean? You’re going to just leave us because of Leslie? What the fuck, Har? Think about this. Don’t throw everything away over her! She lied to you. She destroyed you, but we are all in this together. We made a pact—if you leave, we all leave, do you remember that?” Zayne’s angered voice echoes throughout the kitchen. “Over her…I won’t let you fucking do this. You hear me? I fucking won’t.”

  “You don’t have a choice,” Harrison yelled as I walked around the corner. I observed Harrison standing to his feet, running his hands through his hair, his eyes wild with frustration. “I won’t let you all leave for me. You all have lives, girls who want a future with you. That pact was stupid, we were kids. I thought I could do this, but seeing her, being around her, is not letting my heart heal.”

  “Natalee?”

  “Yes?” I look around the room before my eyes land on Dr. Winchester’s. Raising my hand, I rub at my eye where fresh tears have fallen. This is the reason I don’t wear makeup to these sessions.

  “I asked how you are feeling about the news.” My stress level is out of control. Now having to deal and confront what’s before me, I’m surprised I’m not in a straitjacket or rocking back and forth in the corner.

  “Honestly? I get it. It would suck because I know Zayne will leave too.” The pang in my chest grows, making it tight.

  “Why would Zayne leave?”

  “They made a pact, and if you were to meet them, you’d understand their bond. The thing is, it got me to thinking, and if Harrison decided to leave, the boys will go. But, on the flip side, if they do get signed, they have to make an album and tour. Both options, he leaves.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, willing the tears and my sobs to stay at bay.

  “If he leaves, Natalee, what would happen?”

  I let out a steady breath, remembering Zayne’s words.

  “What’s the matter, Shorty?” Zayne asked, walking closer to me. I shook my head, feeling like a fool. Yes, I was sad about Harrison, but that wasn’t the only reason. He took me in his arms, making me feel secure.

  “Zayne, if you guys were to get signed, you know you’d be leaving, right? I mean, first to record the album and then tours for promos and stuff.” He stiffened.

  “What brought this on?”

  “If you don’t get signed and Harrison wants to leave, will you go, too?” My voice cracked. Zayne walked us to the couch.

  “I don’t know if I could leave you, Natalee, but he’s like my brother.” I swallowed, trying not to cry.

  “I know, and I’d never ask you to choose. I just want us to be realistic about this. Either way, in this scenario, you leave. If you are signed, you leave. If you don’t, you leave.”

  “Harrison made up his mind, then?” he asked.

  I nodded, looking down at my hands. I couldn’t bear to see the pain in his eyes, too.

  “Look at me, Shorty.” Zayne cupped my face and I raised my eyes to his. “I will do everything in my power to make this work. I want a future with you. I know it won’t be easy, but I would fly ten different planes, walk on the sun, or steal a car to get to you. Please don’t give up on us before we have properly begun. I want you, Natalee, and nothing will keep me from you.” I smiled, the tears brimming my eyes making Zayne’s face blurry.

  My heart loved to hear the beautiful words his lips delivered, but my brain knew he couldn’t promise me those things. I had a choice and right then, I was greedy. I wanted Zayne however I could have him, even if it was only for a short amount of time.

  “Either way, I’d let him go. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m willing to give it a shot.”

  “I mean emotionally, to you, Natalee?”

  “I’d be crushed, but I feel like I can handle it. Music and journaling have helped. While I love the fact that Zayne showed me I can be strong, it’s me who has put in the work. The shadows can’t overtake the light, no matter how badly they want it,” I state simply. “I also bought Harrison a roundtrip ticket to England, so he can gain perspective, be with his family, and maybe he’ll change his mind. At the very least, it’s time away,” I blurt out, wanting to change the subject. I peek over at the doctor, who has his head cocked to one side, nodding with a smile.

  “Very generous. Do you think it’s going to help sway his decision?”

  “Um-hm, not sure. I want him happy is all. I guess I don’t want him to make a rash judgment without seeing all sides of the equation.”

  “If he comes back and still says he wants to leave?”

  “It’s going to suck, but at least I tried. Oh, and I also told my uncle about them.”

  “Your uncle?”

  “Yeah, I know, all of this could have been avoided if I wasn’t so caught up in myself and had actually told my uncle sooner,” I mutter, annoyed with myself.

  “Your friends know who your uncle is, though?”

  “Yeah, Har found out at the studio. Leslie and Adriana a few months ago.” I shrug

  “And they never asked you to tell him?” he asks rather slowly, like he’s waiting for me to catch up.

  “No. In fact, Harrison became upset when I suggested it.”

  “You want to figure out a way to get over Les, and nobody—I mean, nobody—is going to just let you walk away. So, I will help get you signed by my uncle—because, duh! He’s in the business and why I never thought of this sooner is beyond me.” I jumped off the counter, pacing as the plan formulated in my head.

  “No!” I stopped my movements and looked at Harrison like he had lost his damn mind.

  “Wait, what do you mean no?”

  “I mean no, Nat. I’m not your friend because of who your uncle is. None of the guys are your friend because of that. Leslie knows who your uncle is—hell, even Adriana—and have they asked you to tell your uncle about us?”

  My eyes dipped in confusion. “Um, no, actually, they haven’t.” What the hell? Most people found out and they wanted to give me demos or told me where to go to see their YouTube channels.

  “Know why?” My head shook, trying to comprehend why, in fact, they hadn’t.

  “Because you are our friend and we don’t use our friends. If you thought we were good enough, you would have told him on your own. We are not those kind of people. If the guys and I are going to break into the music scene, it will be for our talent, not because Zayne is with you.”

  “But...I—” He put his finger on my lip, effectively shutting my argument down.

  “No, Nat, if we are going to get signed, we’ll do it without connections. We don’t want critics heckling us. This is our dream.” I rolled my eyes at him. That was just stupid. Not the dream part, but everything else.

  “That is so stupid, Har. Look, I thought you guys were amazing since the first time I heard you all sing. I’ve been wrapped up in my own shit, and as a friend, that was fucked up of me. So what if I have a connection? People would kill for that one chance and I’m able to offer that. Why can’t I help?”

  “No. I’m not going to allow you to do that. I don’t want your uncle to feel like he has to do this to please you or make you happy.” I scoffed at him, pointing my finger at his chest.

  “I will have you know, Harrison Ethan Sterling, my uncle is a respected CEO. Just because I tell him someone or a group is good does not mean he will sign them. He is about talent, making money, and image. He would never sign anyone for me. So, get that shit out of your head. All I’m saying is I can have him come to a show—no promises, no guarantees. If he likes you, if he sees potential, he will work that out with you guys. Don’t you ever act
like my uncle just goes around signing people to his label to please me. If that were the case, he would have signed lots of people. Got it?”

  “I think I like your friends, Natalee.” Dr. Winchester chuckles.

  “I think I like them, too.” I get out before he turns to his damn keyboard and clacks away, annoying the crap out of me that once again.

  * * *

  “How was your appointment?” Zayne meets me at the front of Dr. Winchester’s office. Telling him I see a shrink was weird, but he understands the reasons.

  Uncle Victor will be back tomorrow afternoon from Atlanta. Every year, he throws a big New Year’s party. While it sounds fun, I’d rather spend time with my friends. At first, I said no because Leslie is staying with me, but after a long talk with Harrison, he said he’d rather have her there than at some random place.

  “Good. I need to get back to the condo and order a few more things,” I say, sliding into the passenger seat of Zayne’s car. He leans in, giving me a swift kiss on the lips. “Okay,” is all he says before shutting the door, leaving me wishing for much more.

  I grab my cell, trying to distract my mind, and text back my crazy uncle who wants to know the…411?

  “I need to finish ordering some things for my Nona, then we can watch a movie.” I look down at my phone, pulling up Amazon. Once we left Dr. Winchester’s office, Zayne and I ran errands. Leslie went to visit Adriana at her parents’ house, opting to stay the night there.

  “Crap,” I mumble to myself. I sit up and grab my laptop. Zayne chuckles behind me.

  “What are you doing, love?” Instead of answering him, I tap away, pulling up a website.

  “Stupid phone is too small so I had to switch to the laptop.” I look over my shoulder at him with a pout. Although I love technology, I also love lying on my bed, but sometimes the two don’t mix, hence why I had to sit up. No fair.

  Zayne stands, collecting a fresh towel. I look over at him with a smile, admiring my view.