The Bitter (Addiction #1)

by Delilah Frost

  I admit it, I don’t see that coming. It’s not even a thought that crosses my mind in any way. So I’m completely dumbfounded. Shocked. Astonished. Flabbergasted. And let’s not forget, pretty fucking irritated.

  I currently don’t have a kitchen table since I haven’t bothered replacing it since throwing Frankie through it. I eat alone and my lap suffices just fine most of the time, so it’s funny to hear I fucked some bitch on it. Especially a bitch who, last time I allowed her over, saw that the table is still in pieces. And I haven’t mentioned it to anyone the thought of replacing it. So that’s strike one.

  Strike two is thinking she ever has a shot at me having her move in. It hasn’t even been that long since I kicked Frankie’s ass out. His blood still stains the floor. And that fight, it had nothing to do with Hayley meaning she wasn’t even on my mind enough to have moving in be a possibility.

  But the funniest fucking thing of all has to be that I would tell Hayley I love her. I’ve never told anyone I love them. I’ve been close, before, with a different girl, but other than my brother, I’ve never uttered those words to anyone else. And there is no possible way imaginable I would ever say them to Hayley. She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t even like her. She serves a purpose. And to be honest, her purpose is thin at best.

  So all I can think is how dare she. All I can feel is anger that she would think this is acceptable. She has to know this will get back to me. That I would hear it and be able to confirm or deny it. I am not above humiliating her in the face of these lies. But maybe she doesn’t realize that. So she has to think this will somehow force my hand into going along with it. Unfortunately for her, she couldn’t be more wrong about that.

  “When did that happen,” one who I believe is named Candy or Cathy, asks.

  “Yesterday. It was so sweet. He said it doesn’t matter that daddy doesn’t like him, we will be together.”

  It always comes down to her fucking father. She’d brought up wanting me to meet him once. B that felt too relationship-y for me and so far removed from how I saw her presence in my life so I shot that shit down fast. I mean hell, I hadn’t yet stumbled on Frankie and Celia at that time so she and I hadn’t even fucked. Not to mention, she seemed to get some weird thrill out of knowing her father would hate me. It’s just weird.

  “You guys are really cute together.” Another bimbo chimes in.

  “I always thought he and Cecelia were cute. I never thought she’d do half the things people say she has. It just didn’t make sense. I thought for sure they’d end up dating instead of no longer talking.”

  “Becky! Don’t disrespect what Chace and Hayley have.”

  “Sorry, I just thought she was nice. She didn’t yell at me like some people do.”

  “That’s cause you’re too dumb to see her for who she really is.”

  I leave after that. My head is spinning and my anger is back. Truthfully it never really left. But I can’t be around anyone right now. Everywhere I turn there are lies coming my way. First all that shit with Celia and now Hayley saying all this bullshit? I can’t deal with it. I’ll do something I’ll regret if I try to now.

  So I ignore Hayley’s voice as she calls out for me, finally noticing I’m not around anymore. I ignore her long after her high voice fades away into the distance as I walk quickly home, my head full of chaos.

  I ignore her knocks at my door hours later as she questions if I’m home. Because I never gave her my number to call or text me. Because I never gave her access to my life, to my real life. Despite what she told those girls earlier.

  I go to work. I come home. I sleep. I repeat the process.

  And I ignore Hayley.

  But she doesn’t let up. And I know I need to deal with her once and for all.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  It is one time.

  Okay, that’s not true.

  It is one fucking and two or three blow jobs because no matter what, I couldn’t get hard enough to want to fuck Hayley again. I mean I’d had to do some serious mind manipulation the first go-round – for whatever reason. And the anger I’d felt had turned to desolation. I am hollow. Exhausted. Over it all. So I don’t have any rage to take out. But I could definitely close my eyes and not have to think as she kneeled before me and sucked my dick in her mouth while she’d fondled her small tits like they were worth my view.

  Though when it came time for me to finish, well, that usually required me jacking off, images of Salma Hayek, or Jessica Biel, or some girl with dark skin, large tits and a round ass in my head to get me to the finish line. And finishing was usually over the nearest sink, since I didn’t like Hayley enough to take her to my room or actually come in her mouth.

  See, for all she likes to flirt it up and act seductive, Hayley Roberts is not very satisfying. Or seductive. She is definitely all talk, definitely all attitude with nothing to back up her claims. Her blow job skills are subpar at best and that isn’t even referring to the fact she’d caught the piercing both times, tugging on it painfully with her teeth. Add in the fact it’d been problematic for me to get an erection around her anyhow told me she’s not really as hot as she likes to act she is. She is definitely nothing like Cece- never mind.

  So I only do her the one time. One time to wash away images I don’t think I will ever be able to forget. And it hadn’t worked. It’d only left me feeling angry and then empty.

  I don’t want Hayley. Not then or now. I don’t want her hanging around or off me despite allowing it earlier. I don’t want her voice in my ear, telling me all about how sad her life is because daddy won’t let her do this or that until she begs and pleads to get her way. I don’t want her telling me more stories about things she’d heard about Cecelia. I don’t want to know these things – any of them – and I don’t want Hayley to think for one moment she is my girlfriend. Because she is not.

  In any way, shape, or form.

  For all intents and purposes, Hayley Roberts is exactly the type of girl you take home to fuck after a win and then never touch again because you got what you wanted. Use her and lose her, because she isn’t worth more than that. And it’s not that I feel that way about women; that they mean nothing. But I know the girls who show to watch the fights. They want a roll in the sheets, a chance to try to impress upon the guy they’re with to make them permanent even though no guy would ever dream of it because they have no self-respect.

  The thing is, Hayley doesn’t see herself that way. She doesn’t connect herself to the lowly groupies bouncing in their short skirts and skimpy tops on heels too high for sanity. She wears floral print dresses and looks more ready for playtime at a suburban barbeque than a street fight. She thinks she is better than those girls. If anything, she is actually worse.

  She doesn’t have a great ass, and her breasts are not big enough to draw real attention like the other girls. She just flirts. And hard. She hangs off my every word, and makes sure to be in my line of sight at all times so I don’t forget her or not notice her.

  After a month of really dealing with who she is, I was so over her presence. So over her vapid thoughts and complaints and just general words. But I let it drag on, her occupancy near me. That was my first mistake. And now it’s led to this. Now it’s led to something I can’t even comprehend and will do whatever it takes to eliminate in her head.

  Tonight, I am over her very existence.

  After hearing the bullshit she’d spouted off to one of the groupies, I just can’t deal with her anymore. And from the eyes she’s giving me right now as I try to explain without grinding my teeth to dust, she still doesn’t get it.

  “You don’t mean that, baby,” she coos and her voice grates on my last fucking nerve. As does her calling me baby.

  “I don’t? Really?” It’s a rhetorical question and I keep driving the point home. “We are not a couple, despite what you keep telling everyone! You’re not moving in. I sure as shit don’t love you.” I step back as she tries to run her fingers down my stomach. Thankfully I
still have my shirt on, having not yet placed my name for the fights tonight. Thankfully also, a few people are present to watch this clusterfuck. Maybe the audience will help her realize I mean business. “I did you one time and let you suck my dick a few other times. That’s not a relationship, Hayley. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend. I don’t give a fuck about your life or who you know or how you think your father is a dick for fucking caring about you. Leave me the fuck alone!”

  “Wow, you are a piece of work, aren’t you,” her voice changes from attempted seduction to calculating. “Treat me like I’m some worthless piece of ass when that’s what you had prior to getting with me. I am a step up for you. You need to learn that.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “You know it’s true.”

  “No, I really don’t.”

  “Oh please. Cecelia was never good for you. I know you, Chace. I know what type of man you are. I know what type of woman you really need. And that is not some skank who will only hold you back.” Old habits, I guess, but I bristle at her words against Cecelia. Hayley moves to touch me again and once more, I back away. “I can make you a real winner.”

  I laugh. “I have lost every fucking match since you’ve inserted yourself into my life. I have lost every ounce of respect I earned since you showed up. How the hell can you possibly make me a winner?”

  “Stop holding yourself back when it comes to me,” she starts. “If you’d just allow yourself to realize how good we are together, how Cecelia loved flirting with everyone, and probably fucked them all. If you’d realize she never cared about you. I mean really, how long did you really know her for? A few years? I know girls like that, Chace. They show up to these things, latch onto the winner and then screw them over.”

  “I’ve known Cecelia a lot longer than a few years.”

  “Did you now?” She bats her eyes at me, a smirk playing on her lips. “If you knew her so well, why’d she betray you? I heard Stretch said she gave it up real quick to him after the first time they met. He said you lost once and Celia met up with him after consoling you. If she cared about you at all, why would she do that? Or what about all the times she showed up late? Where was she? And your roommate? Chace, she was with Frankie so many times it’s actually sad how pathetic she acted. If only you could see how they would sneak away during your fights and fool around until the match was over. If only you could see that night she showed up at your house, she wasn’t there for you, she was there for Frankie. That’s why I distracted you. That’s why I saved you from her.”

  I stand there, listening to Hayley list off why Cecelia is so bad for me, listen to her build and build her fiction, as I run a hand across my chin. “Hmm, that’s a really good story. Come up with it yourself?”

  “What? You know I’m telling you the truth.” Her smile is innocent. Another lie.

  I cannot stop the laugh that bubbles out of me. It’s so big, I have to bend over to get control of myself. “Oh you are good.” I shake my head, a slight chuckle, dry and angry still present in my tone. “First off, here are some facts for you, princess.” The hard edge to my tone drops the smile from her face. “From the moment Cecelia showed up to watch the fights, which, coincidentally enough, was the day she found out about me fighting, that was the first ever time she met Stretch.

  “And the moment she showed up, I started winning. I won every fight I had, every fucking time. There were no losses. No reason to console me. I was golden.” I take a step toward Hayley, and she takes a step back, the look of hope fading from her face. “So either Stretch lied to you, or you’re lying to me now.”

  “I swear he said that,” she pleads as murmurs build around us.

  “We can call him over right now and ask him. Would be real easy.” I go to shout for Stretch, but Hayley stops me with a shake of her head. “Interesting. What, you know he won’t back up your claim?”

  “No, it’s not, I mean-“

  “Save it. Stay the fuck away from me.” I don’t bother addressing the rest of what she’s said. There’s no point. By trying to make me think Celia and Stretch fucked me over, by claiming Stretch would make up a lie about me losing so he could bang Celia, just no. I walk away, needing to be away from Hayley. I can’t believe the bullshit she’s just tried passing off as gold. I can’t believe she thought I wouldn’t call her on it, that I would believe it so easily and stupidly. Especially after the way everything went down with Cecelia.

  I can’t believe any of this.

  Standing against the wall, watching two newbies fight while I wait for my turn in the second round, I do my best to calm down. I don’t need to bring that into the ring with me and end up using it to kill someone. Even if they do ask for it sometimes. Still, the fury I feel coursing through my veins at Hayley feels unstoppable. Worse though, is the guilt I have for how I’ve acted the last six months.

  I don’t know if Celia has fucked every single one of these guys. I don’t know if she’s fucked guys who visit her at work. I just know – now – that all the talking Hayley did about seeing Celia with guys; it’s all bullshit. And the messed up thing is I really should have known that. Especially after dealing with Frankie.

  Hayley had told me she saw him and Celia together, but I know that isn’t true. I know it because when I’d confronted him, he’d only made mention of the one time. Why lie about it? Or better yet, why cover it up? Frankie loved throwing it in my fucking face that he’d finally had Celia since I’d ‘tossed her away.’ It was only the one time. So Hayley had lied to me…and the kicker of it all is I believed her.

  I’d believed her and in the end, she got exactly what she wanted from me.

  Too bad for her I won’t play her game anymore.

  I let two weeks pass.

  My anger at Hayley does not abate. If anything, it grows every time I see her or even just hear her voice. She pays multiple visits to my apartment until one of my neighbors threatens to call the cops on her for being such a nuisance. I’d listened through the wood of the door as she’d tried to sweet talk but my neighbor, who I didn’t even know, but wasn’t having any of it. The older gentleman told her if she didn’t “get a move on, he’d have the cops down in no time to arrest her prissy ass.” I had to cover my laugh at that one.

  She still comes to the fights. She still tries to get my attention. Still tries to act like everything is a Disney movie between us. Sure, maybe if she’s a wicked step-sister.

  I don’t know why, but she can’t take a fucking hint. Even one as blatant as the ‘stay the fuck away from me’ I gave her. There is obviously something wrong with her and I am such a fucking moron to ever let her close to me.

  I hear catcalls and whistles break through the air. The active fight I have yet to focus on stalls to a quick halt as everyone turns their attention to the force coming toward the group.

  Dressed in cut-off shorts and layered wife-beaters, Celia stalks toward the groupies. Her face is blank though even from my spot across the way, I can see the flames growing in her eyes. Becky, the one who actually likes Celia, notices her first. She gets the attention of one of the other girls who in turn runs over to where Candy or Cathy or whatever the fuck her name is standing with Hayley, still consoling her, even weeks later, for a fictional loss.

  All four women look up right as Celia comes to stand before them.

  “You think you’re so slick. You think you have it all figured out and that no one would ever find out about your bullshit.” I hear Celia say. Her raspy voice sounds hollow, devoid of anything other than anger. “Here you stand in your pretty pink dress with your pretty pink cardigan, on pretty wedge sandals, looking everything like some sweet and innocent girl next door. But you know what? You are nothing but a manipulative bitch.”

  Hayley pulls out of Candy or Cathy’s arms to stand toe-to-toe with Celia. Her crocodile tears have suddenly dried up. “I got Chace didn’t I? Guess you weren’t as important as you thought.”

  I see it. I see the way Cecelia’s
breath hitches for just a second as Hayley’s words wash through her and seed themselves. It’s a lie I can’t even make right. Because she was always important. No matter what I let her believe or tried to convince myself of.

  “No, maybe I’m not. But that still doesn’t change the fact that you played every one of these people into thinking you were a decent human being. You let them think you were pure and sweet and innocent. Well I got news for you, honey,” Celia says on a growl as she steps closer. “Your lies end now.”

  It’s a blur of movement that doesn’t register in my mind until it’s nearly over. But I watch, along with everyone else, as Celia’s fists connect with Hayley’s face, throwing her off balance. There’s no hair pulling. There’s no screeching from either girl. There’s no cheering for the melee happening before us. There’s shock. There’s awe.

  Hayley tries to fight back, tries to block each hit, each punch, kick and scratch, but she’s no match for Cecelia. Though she’s never been in a fight in her life, Cecelia has had to fight her whole life. Fight for everything.

  This isn’t a girl fight.

  This is retribution. This is vengeance. This is fury personified.

  By the time the cloud of astonishment has cleared, Hayley is on the ground, and I grab Celia off of her limp body. She struggles, angry at me for touching her, angry at the world, angry at life. But I hold on tight.

  “Celia, enough!” I shout, trying to control her aggression. She’s almost too much for me to handle.

  “Let me go! That bitch deserves this!”

  “I’ll let you go when you calm down,” I tell her pulling and locking my arms around hers.

  “Why, so you can make sure I don’t fuck your bitch up some more? She deserves everything she got.”

  “She’s not mine. She never was. I don’t care about her, okay? She’s nothing to me.” I ignore the surprise I hear from those gathered around, those that didn’t catch my dismissal of Hayley weeks earlier, as I feel Celia try to kick away from me. I’m sure it’s a surprise to the groupies, especially the ones that bought Hayley’s lies so easily, what I’ve just said, but I need it to be known. “I don’t care what she said. None of it was true okay? I don’t even fucking like her!”