Night at the Museum

by Michael Anthony Steele

  Larry keyed his mic and whispered, “And, constellations ... go!”

  A flash of light filled the dome and the audience gasped. Several starry figures came into view. Each one of them was made of bright points of light with a faint outline giving them shape. Leo Major, the big lion, leaped over the crowd. A starry lion cub followed him—Leo Minor. Other points of light formed the shape of a large scorpion and that of a crab—Scorpius and Cancer. The sparkling creatures used their massive claws to spar with each other, much to the crowd’s delight.

  “Orion the Hunter!” announced Teddy.

  More stars filled the air. They swirled and then spread out to form the shape of a giant hunter with a bow and arrow.

  Larry smiled as a smaller cluster of stars swirled above Dr. McPhee’s head. The man looked terrified as the stars drifted into the shape of an apple. Orion jerked an arrow from his quiver and loaded his bow. Without seeming to aim, he drew back and let the arrow fly. McPhee shut his eyes as the arrow found its mark. It struck the apple, making it explode in a puff of stardust.

  McPhee opened his eyes and laughed nervously. “All planned. Knew it was happening.”

  Teddy continued his speech. “Perhaps our primitive ancestors gazed upon these same constellations and dreamed of flight!”

  “Drop the silks,” Larry whispered into the radio. “And ... go monkey.”

  Two scarlet silk banners unfurled from the ceiling. Just as they reached their full length, Dexter slid down both of them. Like a circus aerialist, he twisted and turned gracefully. He wrapped himself in the thin banners before unfurling and spinning toward the ground. Then, at the last minute, he halted between the two silks, his trembling little arms jutted out, keeping him perfectly still.

  Larry smiled. “Yeah, stick it, Dex.”

  More stardust exploded around the monkey for his big finish. Applause erupted from the crowd.

  Larry shook his head as he saw McPhee lean over to Dr. Phelps. “All me,” said McPhee. “All me.”

  “None of this would be possible without your generosity,” said Teddy. “As I look out into this crowd tonight, what do I see?”

  The audience settled as Teddy paused.

  The former president’s smile faltered. His left eye twitched and then both eyes widened. “Invaders!” he shouted.

  Larry frowned and held up the radio. “What’s going on?”

  Teddy leaped off his horse and landed on a nearby table. He swung his rifle around. “We’re surrounded! Gather ’round, Rough Riders! We won’t go down without a fight!”

  The Neanderthals began to hoot, waving their torches in the air. They moved in on the audience. Above them, Dexter bared his teeth and screeched at the crowd.

  Larry darted across the room toward Teddy. “Hey, folks. Little technical glitch here.” He ran up to the crazed president. “Teddy, what are you doing? Stick to the script!”

  Teddy wheeled around and pointed his rifle at Larry’s chest.

  Larry raised his hands. “Teddy. It’s me.”

  Teddy scowled at Larry. “I don’t know you!” He spun and cocked his rifle. “Remember the Maine!” He took aim and fired. A wine glass exploded across the room.

  “Teddy!” shouted Larry. He jumped onto the table and twisted the rifle from the former president’s grasp.

  “Steady men!” shouted a tiny voice.

  Larry spun to see Octavius leading a battalion of tiny soldiers and cowboys. Several of them had little lassos tied together to form long lengths of rope.

  “Let’s mow ‘em down, fellas!” shouted Jedediah.

  The miniatures spread out, stretching the ropes tight. Several fleeing guests tripped over the thin lines and tumbled to the floor.

  The doors to the planetarium burst open as the rest of the exhibits poured into the room. Attila raised his sword and screamed madly as he led his Hun warriors into battle. Lions, zebras, and ostriches stampeded in. The faceless Civil War soldiers marched in and began firing their muskets into the air. More terrified guests screamed as they scattered toward the exits.

  Dr. McPhee ran up to Larry. “What is this? Fix it!”

  Larry didn’t know where to start. His friends were going berserk. Attila used his sword to hack away at a dolphin ice sculpture. Sacajawea used a napkin as a sling to pelt audience members with hunks of cheese.

  Then Larry spotted Dexter atop a tiger’s back. The monkey held a long kebab skewer laden with chunks of meat and vegetables. Like a tiny general, the monkey held his spear aloft and screeched the order to charge. The tiger galloped toward Dr. Phelps’ table.

  “Dexter! No!” shouted Larry. He sprinted toward the table just as Dexter hurled his spear. Larry snatched the kebob from the air, the sharp tip mere inches from Dr. Phelps’ face.

  At the center of the pandemonium, Teddy twitched and shook. “Firgil-fliminy-geegar-zeezah!” The former president straightened, turning stiff as a board. He wobbled for a moment before falling face first into a large plate of butter.

  Larry wanted to run to his friend. Unfortunately, he had something bigger to worry about—much bigger. Orion the Hunter loaded his bow with another arrow made of stars. He aimed it at the fleeing guests.

  “Orion! Put the bow down!” Larry ordered.

  The giant constellation released his arrow and it struck the empty tables at the center of the room. It exploded into stardust and the tables burst into flames. Rexy came tromping through the fire, smoke and flames billowing around him. His skeletal mouth opened wide.

  ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAR!

  Larry brought his hands to his face. “No!”

  CHAPTER 2

  After Larry helped put out the fires in the planetarium—both literally and figuratively—he returned to the main hall. He found all the exhibits milling around, their heads hung low. They all wore expressions of embarrassment. He marched into the middle of them.

  “Guys, what was that?” Larry asked, throwing up his hands. “What were you thinking out there?”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his Neanderthal twin, Laaa, mimicking his movements. The caveman marched around like Larry had, throwing up his hairy arms in frustration. Larry shook his head and put a hand on the caveman’s shoulder. “I’ve got this, Laaa,” said Larry. “Go sit down.”

  As Laaa shuffled away, Larry rounded on Attila the Hun. “Attila, what were you doing to that dolphin?” he asked. “It’s a dolphin, dude.”

  Attila hung his head and jutted out his lower lip in shame.

  Teddy stepped forward, hat in hand. “Lawrence, my apologies. I don’t know what came over us.”

  “Yep, sorry we ruined your hootenanny, Gigantor,” said Jedediah. The tiny cowboy (who had coined the nickname for Larry years ago) stood atop a nearby display case next to Octavius.

  “A thousand pardons, my liege,” Octavius apologized. He slammed his fist to his bronze chest plate, making a Roman salute. “Something took hold of us like a spell.”

  Larry felt something warm splash onto his shoulder. He spun to see Dexter sitting atop Rexy’s head. The little capuchin was peeing on him.

  “Dexter, come on, man! We worked through this years ago!” Larry stepped out of the stream and pointed up to the monkey. “You know what? Fine! Tomorrow, you’re in diapers like a little baby! Not cruisers! Not pull-ups! Diapers!”

  Dexter covered his face with his tiny monkey hands.

  “Lawrence, can’t you see that this poor creature is upset?” asked Teddy. “We all are.”

  Larry scanned the crowd and saw what Teddy meant. His friends were not only embarrassed and ashamed, they were also frightened. It was clear that none of them knew what had come over them that night. The exhibits were clearly unnerved.

  “I don’t know what’s going on with you guys, but that was scary tonight,” said Larry. “That wasn’t you.”

  Suddenly, a young Egyptian pharaoh swept into the main hall. “Larry! You’d better see this!”

  Larry followed Ahkmenrah through the museum. Dr
essed in an ornate tunic and wearing a tall headpiece, the boy looked no more than eighteen years old. Larry knew differently. Ahkmenrah was actually several thousand years old. In truth, he was a mummified pharaoh from ancient Egypt. The power of his magical tablet had restored his youth as well as his life.

  Larry and Ahkmenrah ran into the Egyptian wing, past two giant jackal-headed guards. The guards lowered their long spears and bowed as their king passed. The pharaoh pointed to the golden tablet hanging on a wall over Ahkmenrah’s open sarcophagus.

  The Tablet of Ahkmenrah was about the size of a large book. It was made up of nine moveable tiles. Different Egyptian hieroglyphic symbols were carved onto each tile. Normally, the solid gold tablet sparkled under the display lights. Now, however, it was dull and flat. A small green stain had formed on the bottom of the tablet. It almost looked like green rust. Larry didn’t understand. Gold didn’t tarnish like that.

  “Have you ever seen it like this before?” asked Larry.

  Ahkmenrah shook his head. “Never. It’s always been exactly the same. This corrosion ... it’s never happened before.” He sighed. “To be honest, my father knew the secrets of the tablet better than I did. Unfortunately, he swore he’d never reveal them. And he never did.”

  Larry leaned closer and studied the green stain. For a split second, the tablet cast a green glow and the stain crept an inch up the tablet.

  Ahkmenrah placed a hand on Larry’s shoulder to steady himself. The young man swayed slightly.

  “You okay?” asked Larry.

  Ahkmenrah blinked and shook his head. “Yes ... I’m fine.”

  “Okay, you know what? It’s been a long night,” said Larry. “Let’s pack it in early. Tomorrow I’m going to find out what’s going on here.”

  Larry made sure that everyone returned to his or her places in the museum before catching a cab outside. Normally, he would’ve stayed until sunrise, when everyone became lifeless exhibits once more. However, his friends were so upset over what had happened, they agreed to remain in their display areas until he could figure things out.

  Larry arrived at his apartment building and stepped inside. As he entered the elevator, two police officers followed him in. Larry pressed the button for his floor and glanced up at the flanking men.

  “Everything good?” asked Larry.

  “Noise complaint,” replied one of the officers.

  The other police officer gave a big yawn. “Night shift, man,” he said.

  Larry chuckled. “Tell me about it.”

  They reached Larry’s floor and he stepped out of the elevator. He was surprised to see that the officers followed him out. He supposed the complaint came from his floor. Then, as Larry walked down the long corridor, he heard the thumping beat of dance music. He felt a lump in his throat as he guessed the music’s source. As he stepped up to his door, the floor vibrated under his feet. The music came from the other side. Larry glanced back and, sure enough, the police officers stood on either side of him. They smiled.

  Larry fished out his keys. “I’ll just ...” He opened his apartment door and was assaulted by a wall of sound. His apartment was crowded with sweaty teenagers dancing to the thumping beat. There were so many kids in there that he could barely see his apartment.

  Larry stood in shock for a moment. Then he waved his hands over his head. “All right. Party’s over!” shouted Larry. Unfortunately, he couldn’t be heard over the loud music. Everyone ignored him and continued dancing.

  Larry spotted his son, Nick, on the far side of the living room. The seventeen-year-old wore large headphones over his shaggy dark hair. He hovered over his open laptop while bobbing his head to the beat. He was the party’s DJ.

  Larry navigated his way through the bouncing teenagers. He joined Nick at the DJ table and yanked a cord out of his son’s computer. The music died.

  Nick’s head jerked up in surprise. “Dad? What are you doing here? It’s three o’clock.”

  “Yeah, it’s three o’clock,” said Larry.

  “Okay, everybody! Party’s over!” shouted one of the officers. “Clear out. Quietly!”

  The kids grumbled as they slowly made their way toward the door. Larry was about to lay into Nick when a young girl stepped between them. The auburn-haired girl pulled out a marker and wrote her name and number on Nick’s arm.

  “See you tomorrow night, Nick?” the girl asked.

  Larry leaned forward. “Probably not.” He gave her a mocking wave.

  The girl frowned and followed the rest of the kids out of the apartment. Larry watched them go and waved at the police officers. “Thank you, officers. Get some rest.”

  Larry shook his head as he scanned his now filthy apartment. He grabbed a trash bag from the kitchen and began throwing away half-empty soda bottles and chip bags.

  “I didn’t know you were coming home early,” said Nick.

  “No kidding,” Larry replied. He gestured to the mess around him. “Why would you think this is okay?”

  “When I’m not at Mom’s, you leave me alone every night,” replied Nick. He helped his father clean up. “What did you expect?”

  Larry’s lips tightened. “Honesty. That’s what I’d expect.” He swept a pile of candy wrappers into the trash. “So what ... you’re a big DJ now? Throwing parties every night?”

  “No, this was the first time,” said Nick. He unplugged cables from his computer.

  A noise from the back of the apartment caught their attention. Nick’s friend, Josh, emerged from the bathroom. Josh flicked his head to the side, whisking his long bangs out of his eyes. Josh gave a fist bump to Nick. “Best party yet, dude!”

  Larry frowned at his son. Nick smiled nervously. “This was ... definitely one of the first times,” said Nick.

  “And that’s saying a lot,” Josh continued. “Because you’ve thrown a lot of parties.”

  Larry sighed and shook his head. “Thank you, Josh.”

  Josh grinned up at Larry. “Seriously, your son is an incredible host. He takes care of us ... anticipates our every need.”

  Larry placed a hand on Josh’s back. He guided the young boy toward the front door. “Josh, you’ve served your purpose. You can leave now.” He ushered him into the hallway.

  Josh turned and smiled. “Copy you, L.D.”

  Larry shut the door and glared at Nick. “So this is why you couldn’t come to the museum tonight?”

  “Dad, Andrea Moreno was here,” Nick explained.

  “Who’s Andrea Moreno?” asked Larry.

  Nick held up his arm revealing Andrea’s name and phone number. “You just kicked her out.”

  Larry shook his head. “So, the point is ... you lied to me.”

  Nick sighed. “Yes. We’ve established that. Let’s not linger in that dark place. Let’s talk about the why.” He pointed to his arm. “Andrea Moreno. You saw her. Incredibly hot. Crazy smart. We finally had a chance to connect here tonight. And I’m going to jeopardize that just to go to your planetarium thing?”

  “There was a time I couldn’t get you out of the museum,” said Larry. He smiled as he remembered all the adventures that he and Nick had shared there.

  “There was also a time I liked riding a tricycle in the park,” said Nick. He coiled up a long cable. “How’d it go tonight, by the way?”

  “Don’t change the subject by pretending to be interested,” snapped Larry.

  Nick held up his hands. “Okay, okay.”

  Larry sagged. “It was pretty much a disaster.” He pulled two more soda bottles from between the couch cushions. “Listen, you can’t be doing this right now. You have finals coming up. You have your NYU application due in two weeks ...”

  “I’m not going to get into NYU,” Nick interrupted.

  “You don’t know that,” said Larry.

  Nick nodded. “I do ... in the sense that I don’t intend to apply.”

  Larry stopped cleaning. “What are you talking about?”

  Nick shrugged. “I just don’
t know if it’s the right place for me.”

  “Okay, so you want to spread your wings a bit, try somewhere outside the city,” said Larry. “So where are you thinking? Let’s hear the list.”

  Nick gave a weak smile. “It’s a short list.”

  “No shame in a short list,” said Larry. “Hit me.”

  “It’s super short.” Nick cringed. “There are zero things on it.”

  “Zero?” asked Larry.

  “I’ve changed my mind about college,” Nick explained. “I want to take some time off. Do what you just said. Spread my wings.”

  “I meant spread your wings to fly to a different school,” said Larry. “I thought we had a plan.”

  “Yeah, well, plans change,” said Nick.

  “Not when your parents are paying for the plan,” said Larry. “Then any plan changes have to be approved by the financiers of the plan.”

  “Dad ...” Nick began.

  Larry raised his hand to cut him off. He put his hands on his hips and stared at his son. Larry opened his mouth to argue but nothing came out. He just had the worst night of his life and came home to find that his son, whom he had trusted to be home alone, has been throwing parties practically every night while Larry was at work.

  “Dad, it’s late,” said Nick. “We owe it to ourselves to call it a night. Don’t we?

  Larry shook his head. “This conversation isn’t over.”

  The next morning, after Nick had gone to school, Larry headed back to the museum. He saw all of his friends, frozen in the daylight hours, just as they should be. It was like nothing had ever happened. But something terrible had happened and Larry had to figure out why.

  He made his way downstairs to the museum archives. The large musty room was lined with shelves filled with old artifacts and file boxes. After some digging, Larry pulled out a box containing information about the Tablet of Ahkmenrah.