I Burned Down His House (Love at First Crime Book 3)

by Jessica Frances

  “That’s different.”

  “We both have known Joey a fucking long time. We both know it isn’t.”

  I’m somewhat lost in this discussion, though I’m getting a pretty clear sense over what they may be talking about.

  Why is everyone so sure about Joey’s feeling for me? Sure, we have gotten closer these past few weeks, but that is to be expected. We are living together! That doesn’t have to mean more.

  Joey is the king of bagging women. I was his neighbor for six months, so I know that better than most. How is he not making a move supposed to mean he’s suddenly super interested in me?

  That sounds like stupid reasoning.

  “Joey will just have to deal with it. He’s kept his distance, and that means he doesn’t get a say in this. Not if Teagan is willing and offering.”

  Declan shakes his head. “That is not how this works.”

  “Maybe this will be what Joey needs to get off his ass and make a move. Whatever his reasoning for dicking around, that is about to bite him in the ass.” Zander slaps his hand on the desk, making me jump.

  “He’s going to be pissed,” Declan points out.

  “Let me handle Joey. I want you to get on Jerry and find out what he needs and what will be safest for Teagan to place in that office. Trying to get anything out of it is too dangerous. Besides, we don’t even fucking know what he has in there. I want eyes and ears if possible. If not, then one of them.”

  Declan reluctantly nods.

  “And you.” Zander points at me. “If we do this, know that you will have backup the entire time. You won’t ever truly be alone. If at any point—before or during—you want to back out, you say the word and it’s done. No hard feelings. You got it?”

  I nod again.

  “Right. I need to finish up these meetings. As soon as I’m done, I want a status update,” he says to Declan, then nods at me once before he leaves Declan’s office.

  ***

  I’m sitting on the couch, hugging a pillow to me as I watch some mindless TV. My mind is still stuck on my pretend date tomorrow with Hart, worried I might be in way over my head.

  Of course he will notice how jumpy I am. Plus, it will be obvious how not into him I am. But, what is the harm in trying? If he senses I’m not into it, he will likely just cut the date short. That will ruin my chances of getting access to his office, sure, but it won’t kill me.

  The front door opening and closing drags my attention away from my thoughts. I watch as Joey storms inside, his body tense with anger as he points a finger at me.

  “You’re not doing this.”

  I would have been surprised by his outburst, if I wasn’t expecting it after Zander and Declan’s discussion.

  “Joey, please—”

  “No!” he barks. “It’s stupid, reckless, and I won’t let you do it.”

  “You won’t let me?” I narrow my eyes on him, any sympathy I had for him swallowed up.

  “No, I won’t. Zander nearly lost Ava to this, and just last year, Declan almost lost Sasha to some weirdo stalker. I won’t let you risk your life.”

  “Joey, we’re not together,” I point out. “You have no say in what I choose to do in my life.”

  He seems to huff for a moment, unsure how to proceed maybe, then his anger looks like it completely deflates out of him.

  “Teagan, this is so out of your league,” he says gently, sitting beside me.

  “I know what I’m risking.”

  “Do you? Because, when Ava managed to get a USB filled with videos these guys were into, we all went through it. We watched every fucking video, hoping to identify the victims, the perpetrators, or the locations. It’s been years since I saw those videos, yet they still haunt my nightmares. It was depraved, sick stuff, Teagan. Unimaginable horror. For fuck’s sake, I can’t even stomach horror movies when I know they’re fake. I was messed up from it, and I don’t want you to get messed up, too.” He reaches over, cupping my face as he looks deeply into my eyes. “Say you won’t do this. Tell Zander you changed your mind. None of us will think less of you.”

  I blink away tears, hating that he has gone through all that, and that I’m probably just going to add to his stress. “But I’ll think less of me.”

  He sighs, releasing my face. I instantly miss his warm touch.

  “This isn’t some fun game, Teagan.”

  “I know it isn’t. I didn’t ask Hart to come into my work and ask me out.”

  “But you did say yes.”

  “I did, because how the hell was I supposed to turn my back on this after what you told me about him? He’s hurting women. He’s a depraved, sick man who has access to vulnerable women. And I what, refuse to suffer through one dinner with the man because I’m scared? No.” I shake my head. “I don’t get to do that.”

  He reaches out and catches my chin. “You’re putting yourself in view of a madman.”

  “I’m already in his view, Joey,” I remind him softly. “He sought me out; he came to my work. He lives across the street from me. The fact that he wants to go out to dinner with me, be somewhere public, likely means I’m safe. You told me the other women he dated check out. They are all fine.”

  “None of those women were there to try to fool him. None of them had to risk their lives while planting a bug in his office!” Joey snaps, jumping to his feet where he paces between my couch and coffee table.

  I had a similar discussion with Harvey earlier as we walked Karma. He wasn’t happy with my decision, either. It did seem to go a little better than this one, though.

  “I’m going to be—”

  “In danger!” he yells, his anger apparently back in full-force.

  “No, I’m going to be fine. Zander assured me I would have backup.”

  Joey snorts. “Sure, you’ll have backup. Until you’re in that fucking office. You have any idea what he does to the women he takes up there?”

  “I …” I blink, unsure I even heard that part. “No.”

  “No, and neither do we, because we have no. Fucking. Clue. What. Goes. On. In. There.” He leans over me, getting closer to my face with each word he spits out.

  I push him back, getting to my feet to move away from him.

  “What do you expect me to do, then?” I ask, throwing my hands up in the air. “Just sit back and do nothing, knowing women are suffering while I stay cozy inside my home right here? How do you expect me to sleep at night in my warm, safe bed when women are going through what you described? You had nightmares watching it? What about those women still living it?”

  “That isn’t your problem.”

  “It is now. I’m scared. I am actually terrified, and I am worried I’m going to mess this chance up. I don’t need you yelling at me. I need my friend. I need you to tell me I’m going to be okay. You need to tell me you have my back.”

  “Of course I have your fucking back,” Joey snaps harshly, making quick work of eating up the distance between us.

  “Then act like it,” I whisper, my breath faltering when Joey cups my face again, his heaving chest touching mine, his thighs almost brushing my own.

  “I want so badly to kiss you right now. I want to whisk you away and fuck you until you can’t remember your own name, let alone this stupid-ass idea.”

  “Don’t.” I try to pull back, but he holds on tighter.

  “Why not? Give me one reason we can’t give in to this. I want you, you must know that. Fuck, I’m getting shit from the guys because they can fucking see it.”

  “I need more, Joey,” I whisper.

  “More than what?”

  “More than sex. I need more than you can give me.”

  “You have no idea what I can give you.”

  “I know you can give me a broken heart. I know you can give me more scars than I already carry.”

  He blanches at this, finally releasing my face as he takes a step back. “I would never do that to you.”

  “People don’t change overnight, and they don
’t change a lifetime of choices in just a few weeks. I’m not willing to be some itch you want to scratch. I won’t be some experiment to see if you can commit.” I sound strong, but inside, I’m breaking apart.

  I hate that my words look like they are physically striking him. I hate that I’m hurting him.

  “So, what you’re basically saying is that you’re too scared to do anything about what is happening between us?”

  I grimace at his obvious jab at calling me a wimp.

  “Fuck you. I have been through hell, and for you to throw that in my face is low. You admitted it yourself just the other night. You fuck, and then you lose interest. Why should I think anything would be different between us?”

  “I’m sorry you think me calling you out for hiding your feelings low. You judging me on my past feels the same way.”

  “Joey, your past was only a few fucking weeks ago!” I shriek, throwing my hands up at him.

  “That doesn’t make it any less my past.”

  “It isn’t quite a ringing endorsement for your future, either.”

  “I want you, Teags, more than just for one night, and more than for just one thing.”

  I shake my head, not able to even comprehend that. Not now, and maybe not ever.

  “Can we focus for a second? We’re not here to talk about this.” I wave my hand between us. “I’m going on a date tomorrow with Hart. My mind is made up. It’s happening.”

  Joey stares at me for a while, his gaze too piercing, his disappointed expression too distressing for me to withstand.

  “Then I’ll have your back,” he promises.

  “Thank you.”

  ***

  Dinner is completely awkward and full of tension. I excuse myself early just to get away from Joey’s long stares and darkened gaze.

  It takes me only an hour of lying in bed, my eyes wide open and my mind spinning, before I grab my phone and dial a number that is long overdue.

  One ring is all it takes before my call is answered.

  “Teagan? It’s late. Are you okay?”

  “Hey, Mom. I’m okay. I just miss you.” My voice has a quiver to it. I don’t know why I feel so upset.

  “What’s going on? What’s happened?” she demands.

  I usually talk to my mom once a week, maybe every two weeks. However, I have been lax lately, and now there is so much to catch her up on.

  “I burned down Joey’s house,” I blurt out.

  “What?” Her gasp sounds more shrill than breathy.

  “It was an accident, but I completely destroyed it.”

  “Are you okay? Are you in trouble? Do you need me to make some phone calls?” she rushes out. I can picture her racing around the house, trying to remember where she put her address book, which no doubt has countless lawyer friends of Dad’s inside.

  “No, it’s fine. It happened a few weeks ago.”

  “A few … What the hell? Why am I only just hearing about this?”

  “I … I don’t know. I was just trying to wrap my head around everything. There’s more.”

  “Oh God, don’t tell me Karma was in the house when it burned down!”

  Sadly, I have sent Mom many photos of Karma since Joey asked me to look after her a few times. Mom has a thing for dogs—her rescuing twelve throughout my childhood is clear proof of that—so she basically treats photos of Karma like she’s getting updates on a grandchild.

  “No, she’s fine. Everyone is fine. The house was empty. And Joey has been great about it. He hasn’t even brought it up much. He basically just shrugged it off.”

  I wait for Mom to point out that his reaction is ridiculous and absolutely not normal. I mean, I forget about it sometimes, but Joey certainly should have had some sort of delayed reaction by now. Who doesn’t care when all their earthly possessions go up in flames?

  “You sure he hasn’t been hard on you about this?”

  “He was just relieved me and Karma were okay.”

  “Sounds like a man who has his priorities in check. So, if that isn’t bothering you, then what is?”

  There is no point denying that something is bothering me. Mom knows me too well.

  “Joey moved in with me after the fire.”

  “Okay …?”

  “And things have gotten complicated between us,” I oversimplify.

  “In what way?” Her excitement is obvious, likely already seeing a white dress and hearing the pitter-patter of feet in my future.

  “We became friends. He’s a really nice guy, Mom. And he has introduced me to the people he works with. They’ve become my friends, too. The girls took me out for lunch one day, and then we had a girls’ night. And I have a best friend! He’s a little grumpy and doesn’t smile much, but he’s a great listener, and when you do get a smile, it feels amazing.”

  I leave out the stealing of a car and the strip club, as well any mention of Hart.

  “That’s fantastic, sweetie.”

  “Mom, are you crying?”

  “Yes.” She lets it all out now.

  I sit up, tensing since I can’t see her with my own eyes. I’m desperate to hug her and find out what has her so upset.

  “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

  I contemplate calling Mom’s best friend and neighbor to check on her, but she manages to calm down enough to explain.

  “I’ve worried about you for so long. To see your child so hurt, so broken …” She trails off as her tears become overwhelming again.

  “It wasn’t that bad,” I try to assure her, though I’m lying. It was awful.

  “You shut off from the world, only existing. Whenever we spoke, I prayed you would have news for me. I wanted you to tell me you had reengaged with the world again.”

  “You’re making me sound like I was some sort of hermit.”

  “You basically were. The only time you left the house was to work, do your grocery shopping, or to see Karma. That is not living, Teagan.”

  Okay, I can’t exactly argue with that.

  “It’s just so wonderful to hear you speaking about friends. Everyone needs friends, sweetie. I know your friend let you down, but you put everyone in the same untrustworthy basket after that. That wasn’t right or fair.”

  I bite my tongue on reminding her many of my so-called friends were aware of the affair and never felt the need to fill me in. She doesn’t need the reminder, just like I don’t care to get back into all that again. It’s in the past, and I have finally moved on.

  “You’re right. I was hurt, and I wasn’t interested in starting up again. Not with a man, or with new friends.”

  “But now you’re ready?”

  The hope in her voice almost chokes me.

  “I feel different. I feel better. I trust these people.”

  Mom laughs, her relief clear even over the phone line. “I can’t wait to meet them!”

  “I can’t wait for you to meet them, too.”

  “So, what is bothering you, then?” She sniffles before I listen to her blow her nose. Now that she has gotten her tears under wraps, she sounds like she’s suffering from a cold.

  “It’s Joey.”

  “What about him?”

  “I’m not sure I’m ready, Mom. He’s … he’s a huge risk.”

  She knows exactly what I am referring to.

  “Love is a risk, sweetie.”

  “But the odds are so stacked against us. I can’t go through all that again, and these friends are mostly tied to him. I’m not saying they would abandon me because things didn’t work out, but things would definitely become awkward.”

  “What is your heart saying?”

  I roll my eyes. All my life, my mom has said things like this. It’s corny and silly, but when I was a kid, it always made me feel better.

  “My heart says I should proceed with extreme caution,” I lie. My heart is so totally already in sync with Joey.

  “What does your brain tell you?”

  “That I should proceed with ext
reme caution,” I repeat. “And before you ask, my body is telling me to jump him while I can.”

  “Teagan Larissa Bevon! You know I was not going to ask you that.”

  “I know,” I reply with a smile, “but it might be useful.”

  “Actually, it is.”

  “It is?” I freeze, not expecting that.

  “Yes. Your body is the only one that has given a proper answer, so there you have it.”

  I snort, waiting for her to tell me she’s joking. She doesn’t.

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “Of course I’m not. I’ve heard all about Joey for months. While some of the things you’ve said aren’t exactly savory—I’m not so keen on how quickly he seems to go through women—there has been one constant when you talk about him.”

  “What’s that?”

  “The smile in your voice. You like him, and I’d wager you might even like him a lot. That was mostly superficial. If he’s living with you, and you’re this conflicted, then I bet that like might be even turning into something more. At least, it would if you let it.”

  “But it’s complicated,” I complain.

  “Only if you let it be.”

  “I’m not ready for that.”

  “Sometimes, life doesn’t wait for you to be ready. Sometimes, you just have to pull up your big girl panties and take what life throws at you. You’re overdue for some happiness. Don’t shy away from it just because you’re afraid.”

  Now I’m the one crying, hugging my knees as I try to let my mom’s words sink in.

  Is she right? Should I forget about what could go wrong and just embrace things while they’re going right?

  Or will Joey end up being my worst mistake?

  Chapter 12

  The date with Hart is surprisingly nice. The food is good, the wine is tasty, and he’s a perfect gentleman. There are many lovely dressed women in the restaurant, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off me the entire night. He gives me his attention, asking me many questions about myself and listening.

  If I didn’t know Hart was a dodgy guy who potentially had some seriously sick tastes, I would allow myself to consider this the best date I have been on. Even walking into the strip club isn’t as sleazy as it sounds.