When Hart verbalized that story, he showed no obvious signs of lying to me, but I know for sure Joey isn’t lying to me. Since Hart is the criminal here, and my trust has to start somewhere with Joey, I decide to take a leap of faith.
“I believe you.”
He smiles at me, relief clear as day in his eyes. “Good. Now shower and grab yourself a glass of wine. We’ll unwind on the couch.”
I nod.
Neither of us moves a muscle.
It takes Karma whining, her licks moving higher up my legs, before we reluctantly pull away.
***
I don’t have it in me to find anything appealing to wear for Joey, although I do rule out my onesie, purely because I haven’t been game enough to wear it since the fire. I feel like it has bad mojo attached to it now. Nevertheless, I do okay with sweats and a T-shirt. At least he seems to think so since he holds me on the couch, lightly brushing his hands over my exposed flesh above my pants. Unfortunately, he never explores beyond that, though he does tease me with kisses both soft and passionate.
I am basically a limp, boneless puddle of want and need under him.
“I want you so badly,” Joey murmurs, and a huge part of me wholeheartedly agrees.
I’m horny, I want Joey, too, and I deserve a night of passion. I deserve this. But I still worry over what tomorrow will bring. Just yesterday, I was sure moving things to the next level with him was a mistake. Then, last night, I began to think maybe it wasn’t a mistake. This morning and afternoon, I seesawed between going for it or backing away.
After my rough night, I don’t know where my head is.
“Where did you just go?” Joey asks, caressing my face and moving a few stray hairs out of my eyes.
“I’m worried,” I admit. Now is not the time to play games or be coy. Not when this is so important.
“I told you, you don’t have to worry about Hart. I won’t let him get close to you again.”
“Not about that.” I shake my head a little, questioning how Joey has been able to consume my thoughts so much that I almost forgot about Hart. He did this yesterday, too.
“What has you so worried, then?”
“You.”
“Me? Why?”
“I’m worried about what is happening between us. I’m worried what will happen tomorrow because of what we do tonight.”
When he leans back a little, I miss his closeness, but I don’t back down. If this is going to fizzle out, then I need to prepare myself. The more prepared I am, the less this will hurt when it ends.
“Nothing has to change between us tomorrow. The only difference is that I’ll make you feel really good tonight. I pledge to do that every time I’m with you.”
“But this between us, what is happening, this is more than sexual, right?”
“You make me happy, Teagan. I haven’t ever been an unhappy guy, but I wouldn’t call myself a happy one, either. I’m content just to coast. But, now I can’t remember a day that passed where I didn’t laugh, smile, or feel lighter. That’s thanks to you.”
I smile, glad to know I’m making such a positive impact on his life.
“I feel the same way. I always find myself laughing throughout the day because of you.” His text messages are what keep me sane during the workday when the kids are determined to drive me crazy.
“What are you looking for in a man, Teags?”
I consider his question, thinking over how much of what I want I already see in Joey.
“I want a man who is consistent. I want him to be thoughtful, sweet, kind, and into me. I want him to want me even when my hair is a mess and I’ve put on a few pounds. I want him to think I’m beautiful even when I know I’m not. I want—”
“What do you mean, when you’re not beautiful? I was your neighbor for six months and have been living with you for over a month. Not once have I ever seen you not looking beautiful.”
His words bring me warmth that I try to ignore, even when I can see how serious he is.
He truly believes that.
“What do you want in a woman?” I deflect, since I have no idea how I’m supposed to respond to words so sweet.
“Fuck, I don’t know. I didn’t think it was possible that everything I wanted could come in one woman. I’ve found glimpses of things I like in the women I’ve been with, but never all together like it is with you. You’re hot as hell, Teags. You love my dog, you work hard, and you have respect for yourself. You cook a mean pasta dish, you love the same movies I do, and we have the same twisted sense of humor. You whistle Christmas tunes when you forget I’m here, and you like to dance in front of the microwave while you wait for your food.”
I flush in embarrassment at those last two things, not that he’s saying they are bad.
“You wear adorable onesie pajamas, you can barely string two words together before you’ve had your coffee in the morning, and we fit together around here so fucking perfectly. There hasn’t been one moment when you’ve been annoyed by my staying with you. Not by my late hours, my dog slobbering or farting all around your house, or the fact that I’m not the cleanest man when it comes to dishes or my laundry.
“We fit together, and that fucking scares the crap out of me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt even a quarter of what I feel for you with anyone else before. I’m so terrified I’m going to screw this up, and I’m worried that, if that happens, I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting losing you.”
I’m speechless, touched, and shocked. I never knew Joey had such beautiful words inside him.
“So, what do we do?” I croak out, the emotions still too much for me to shake off.
“I don’t know. But I do know I want more with you. I want to fuck you, of course I do, but I also want to see you smile. I want to ask you about your day and track down anyone who made your day harder and set them straight. I want to make you laugh like you get me to do so often. I want to hold you, and I don’t fucking know what I’m supposed to do with all this. I can’t promise you I won’t hurt you, just like you can’t promise the same to me. But I can promise you that this feels different. It already feels like more, and I don’t want to turn away from it just because it’s scary.”
“Joey,” I rasp, my body hurting from the crushing fear and joy hitting me from all angles at once.
How do I speak when I have so much hope drowning inside me?
“Please, Teags, just please walk this muddy trail with me. We can figure it out together. We’ll—”
“Yes!” I shout, already so into this that I leap on him, pushing him flat on his back and lying over him, kissing him wildly and with abandon.
He laughs, wrapping his arms around me before he shuffles one of his hands through my hair, holding me in place.
“What happens now?” I ask breathlessly, my eyes shifting over his desire-filled ones.
“Now, we kiss on this couch, and—”
“Couch? How about we move this to a bedroom?” I suggest.
Joey clearly likes this idea, since he jackknifes up, taking me with him and adjusting me until I’m held in his arms, my legs around his middle while he holds my ass.
I love this position. And though it distracts him, I kiss him, even if it means he can no longer see where he is going, which is why we crash into almost everything along the way.
When he makes it to my bedroom and places me gently on the bed, he then leans back with a soft smile as he takes me in.
I do the same, loving the way his shirt sits on him lopsided, and the fact that his hair is sticking up in all angles from when I ran my hands through it, and the hunger I not only see mirrored in his expression, but the clear tent in his pants.
I touch my chin, enjoying how I still feel his stubble there and desperately hoping I will feel that same abrasion over my thighs very soon.
“Strip for me,” I demand, then smile when he laughs.
“Teags.” He crawls on top of my bed, his knees on either side of me. Then he leans over and cups m
y face, kissing me lightly before he pulls back to look into my eyes. “I can’t wait to do all the fun things I’ve been dying to do to you. I want all of them and more, but not tonight. I don’t want our first time together to be marred by Clayton. I want you seduced by me after we go on a date and after I’ve charmed you with my witty remarks. I want our night to be perfect so that, when I sink inside you, it is the final missing piece for us.”
Disappointment and anticipation both slam into me at the same time.
“Have you always been this romantic?”
“Only with you.”
Damn, he is on fire tonight.
“So, what happens now?”
“Now, I hope like hell you want me to stay in here with you, even if you’re going to feel a rod poking your ass all night.”
I smile, loving that idea, though it won’t be as satisfying as the previous one.
“Yes, stay with me.”
“Good.” He kisses me again. “Give me five minutes to change, and I’ll be back.”
I nod, sighing in contentment when he kisses me one last time before he bounds out of the room like he’s so excited to get back to me that he can’t force himself to go any slower.
I’m utterly charmed by Joey, and I can’t bring myself to worry right now or fear being hurt by him. What is love without the risk of getting hurt?
My mom was right. Sometimes, we just need to take a leap of faith.
When Joey reenters my bedroom in a baggy, bright clown outfit and a wild purple wig, I break out in laughter so hard my stomach aches as I try to calm myself down.
“Just wanted to double-check that clown thing wasn’t real,” he murmurs, wrapping me up in his arms, sans the wig and red nose and still in the baggy overalls.
“You are ridiculous, Joey Kim,” I tell him on a sleepy sigh, feeling more content and happy than I ever expected to feel.
Having Joey spoon me all night, his arms wrapped securely around me, is the safest I have ever felt, and also the best sleep I ever had.
I could get used to this.
Chapter 13
“Do you want to come with Harvey and me to walk Karma?” I ask as I finish tying my sneakers while also attempting to dodge Karma’s face licks.
Joey shakes his head, leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. “Nah, that seems to be your thing together.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t tag along sometimes.”
“Harvey and I aren’t exactly close.”
“I know, but I would really appreciate it if you would come with us today.” I stand up from the couch, free of Karma’s licking attacks, and reach out to grab her leash.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m not ready to part from you yet.”
He grins, clearly satisfied with my answer. “Then how about you ditch Harvey and stay in bed with me all day?” He pushes off from the doorway and slowly approaches me.
“Why? So you can poke me in the ass some more?” I sass. “If we must date before we do anything, then you better start planning that date for tonight.”
He laughs, wrapping his arms around me as I stare out the front window, keeping an eye out for Harvey and trying to ignore letting my eyes wander to Hart’s house. He tried calling me once earlier, but I ignored it.
“Then I guess I better stay here so I can plan the perfect date.”
“Or, you can come out with us, make sure you pass the best friend test, and then you can start planning our date,” I suggest.
“He’s your best friend now?” he asks in clear surprise.
“Yep.”
“The man doesn’t talk! How can he be your best friend?”
“He’s a great listener, and since you want me, I guess you’re going to have to put some more effort in with him.”
He sighs, but he doesn’t say he won’t make more effort with Harvey. Now I just have to hope Harvey will return the effort.
Seeing him pull up, I watch as Karma begins going nuts by the front door, wagging her tail enthusiastically as she waits for her favorite person to knock.
“She doesn’t go that crazy when I get home,” Joey mutters, letting me go so he can grab his sneakers by the doorway.
“Me, neither,” I agree, opening the door before Harvey has the chance to knock then watching as he automatically prepares for the onslaught of Karma.
She doesn’t disappoint, giving him her usual body slam while trying to lick him everywhere.
“I also don’t get a welcome like that,” Joey notes, standing next to me while we both watch Harvey try to detangle himself from her.
“That one we can probably consider ourselves lucky over,” I point out.
“True.”
Harvey finally gets Karma off, and I crouch down to attach the leash to her collar.
“You don’t mind if Joey comes with us, do you?” I ask Harvey.
Since Joey is right next to me, it isn’t like he will say no. Not without making it incredibly obvious. So, he agrees, and I try to ignore the weird, awkward vibes both guys send out.
Karma is excited to have all three of us with her, and even though I pass Harvey the leash out of habit, I feel the reluctance in him taking it from me.
“So, did you know Joey is into baseball?” I ask Harvey before turning to look at Joey. “Harvey loves baseball. Did you know he played through to senior year?”
“Jesus, Teagan, this isn’t a date,” Harvey grumbles, to which Joey laughs.
“I know. I’m just pointing out that you guys have stuff in common.”
“No shit,” Harvey keeps grumping, and while I thought I might stay through the walk to help keep the conversation flowing, Harvey’s grumpy mood forces me to make another decision.
“Oops, I think I left my hair straightener on! I better go back. You guys keep going. I’ll see you later.” I quickly turn around and run down the street, hearing Joey call out behind me that I don’t straighten my hair.
He’s not wrong. My brunette hair is naturally wavy, but I like my hair with a bit if curl through it. And even if I decided to straighten it, I currently have my hair in a bun, so doing anything to it would be pointless.
Okay, so not my finest lie, but I don’t stop running away, hoping the rest of their walk isn’t too awkward, and that they realize they can get along outside of a work situation.
From what I have seen of everyone at J.P.I., minus Gemma since I haven’t even spoken to her, and Jerry, who apparently, I am likely never going to speak to, everyone is super nice. There is no reason for Harvey to hold back. If I push things a little, that’s what best friends are for, right?
Getting back home, I enjoy the quiet house and get a head start on some dishes. My weekends are usually reserved for house cleaning, restocking the fridge, and binge-watching TV. Things might be a little less routine with Joey and me starting something, so I figure I will get to it while I have the chance.
My phone goes off a few minutes into vacuuming, which is a much more compulsory job now that I have dog hair covering every inch of the floor. I reluctantly glance at the phone, fearing I might see Hart’s name pop up again.
Suddenly, living across the street from him is much more problematic. It’s much easier for him to see when I’m home or not. Maybe leaving Joey and Harvey to be on my own wasn’t such a good idea.
When I glance at the screen and see Sasha’s name, I’m relieved. For all of a few seconds.
“Hey, Teagan, what are you up to?”
“I’m just doing some house cleaning.”
“Sounds riveting,” she quips. “I guess that means you have time to come shopping with me?”
“Well …” I glance around at something to save me, certain I have an emergency around here somewhere I have to stay in the house for, in my sweats, doing nothing strenuous until Joey gets home.
“Unless you and Joey have some super interesting plans?”
“I’m not really sure what we have planned for today.
He’s out at the moment with Harvey.”
“They’re hanging out together? Wow, now I feel like this is personal.”
“Don’t. I sort of just shoved them together, and then abandoned them. I’m hoping they’ll realize they have a lot in common and become friends or, you know, bond over how obvious their setup was.”
Sasha laughs before informing me she will be over in fifteen minutes to pick me up.
As soon as I hang up, I groan. Maybe this is my karma for what I just shoved Joey and Harvey into. Either way, I put on something suitable to shop in and send Joey a quick message so he knows I won’t be home when he is.
***
Shopping with Sasha is definitely an experience. We don’t ever just walk in and out of a store. If we commit to stepping foot in there, we are looking at everything they have. I’m more the type to visit a couple stores and settle for whatever is closest to what I’m looking for.
Sasha also knows a lot of people. In almost every store, she chats to at least one person like they are an old friend.
With my hands weighed down by bags of clothes I’m not sure I need and sexy lingerie Sasha assured me I most definitely need, I listen as my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Joey has been texting me on and off all day, mostly commiserating with me while I’m in shopping torture. Now he’s trying to take my mind off my shopping boredom by annoying me with something new.
J: Harvey is mine. We bonded, and you can’t take him back.
T: Harvey is so mine. We bonded first.
J: Nope, we have baseball.
T: We have Karma.
J: Actually, Karma is my dog.
T: Is now a bad time to let you know she loves me more?
J: Whatever. Harvey is mine because we both like the same kind of bourbon.
T: You can’t have him. I make him laugh.
J: I made him the best dip he’s ever tasted.
I Burned Down His House (Love at First Crime Book 3) Page 17