Ashes of Revival (The Abdicate Series Book 1)

by Alex Shobe

  “It’s all right. It happens.” He looks over his shoulder toward the cave’s opening. “Morning time.”

  I glance around the cave as he helps me to my feet. The pile of wood from last night’s fire is reduced to nothing more than a smoldering heap of ashes. Colton is nowhere to be seen. My eyes fall on Kai’s still body, his chest no longer expanding from breaths.

  My hand flies up to my mouth. “Is he…?”

  Aiden rakes his hands through his hair and lets out a long exhale. “He didn’t make it.”

  “What do we do?” A prickling sensation starts in my feet and travels up to my fingertips. “Does he get taken back to his family?”

  Aiden doesn’t answer. Instead, he walks the short distance to where Kai lies motionless and crouches near him. His back faces me, and for a long moment, he’s silent. I step closer and drop to my knees beside him. Up close, the bulkiness of Kai’s body is intimidating. Half of his face is covered from the shadow of the cave. The half that is illuminated is plagued in fine scars, some of which hadn’t healed properly.

  “He doesn’t have one,” Aiden says. “Not anymore. His wife and three sons died in a house fire.”

  A bolt of cold and heat channels through my veins and I reach out to touch Aiden’s arm. He turns his gaze slowly from Kai’s sallowed face to mine.

  “The guards?” I ask, my voice barely audible. The answer is obvious, and a flush of heat singes my cheeks from embarrassment.

  Aiden gives a sharp nod, his eyes remaining locked on mine. Then, he turns his head away from me. “It happened much earlier than when I’d arrived, but Colton had said their deaths destroyed Kai. His was the first family to be collateral damage for disobedience.”

  A teardrop splashes on the back of my hand. I tilt my head back and look up at the moss-covered ceiling, my eyes rimmed with tears begging to be released. A pain burrows within me, a pain that feels so familiar although I didn’t know Kai or his family.

  “We should have a proper burial for him—to honor him.”

  Aiden smiles, the freckles on his cheeks contrasting against his pale complexion. “I’m sure he’d like that.”

  I return the smile and pat Aiden’s arm before rising to my feet. “Where’s Colton?”

  He juts his thumb over his shoulder. I walk out of the cave into the brightness of the new day. Colton stands nearby with his back to me, his head on a swivel as he checks the activity of the forest.

  “We’re lucky the guards aren’t patrolling yet, with all that screaming you were doing,” he says as he turns to face me.

  As soon as our eyes meet, a memory from many years ago rushes through my mind. I hadn’t noticed in the dim lighting of the night, but now, I can see him clearly. Same curly brown hair. Same pale green eyes with a patch of red on one of the irises. This isn’t the first time we’ve met.

  When I was eleven years old, Mother and Father took me on a tour of the kingdom. He thought it was time I got to know my subjects and learn the lands I’d one day rule over. While he and Mother drew a crowd in the town square, I wandered off to explore the lands on my own. I’d never been out of Demesne before, and the rustic smell of this village invited me to learn more.

  I wriggled through the crowd and away from my parents, away from our guards, leaving the chatter behind me. Without hesitation, my feet carried me to a narrow dirt path near a house. I followed it until I ended at a barn with a boy standing outside. He looked to be my age, maybe older. His hands clutched the reins of the brown-spotted horse he was trying desperately to calm. He wasn’t doing a good job at it and didn’t hear when I approached.

  “You’re making him more nervous.” I interlocked my fingers behind my back and glanced from the horse to the boy.

  The boy darted his eyes to me, scowled, then returned his gaze to the horse. “Shh… shh… it’s okay, boy.” The horse thrashed and the boy responded by yanking harder on the reins. “Shh.”

  “Don’t do that,” I said. “He’ll never calm down that way.”

  “Go away,” the boy said over his shoulder. His voice had a slight accent to it.

  I pulled my lips to the side and took a step forward. With an open palm, I rubbed the area between the horse’s eyes, applying just enough pressure to soothe him. It calmed its hooves and relaxed its body. The boy scoffed and glared at me.

  “I could’ve done that.”

  “Didn’t look like it. When they get like that, you have to show them there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  The boy dropped his grimace and peered at the horse, as though he were considering my words. He nodded then looked back at me. “I could’ve figured that out by myself.”

  I grinned, but then something caught my attention. I squinted to get a better look at the boy. “What happened to your eye?”

  His eyes were light green but one of them had red, too. I’d never seen someone with a half-red eye.

  He turned his head back toward the horse and rubbed its snout. “I don’t know… I’ve always had it.”

  I sidestepped to renew my inspection and fixed my lips to ask another question but paused mid-breath when my father’s voice boomed from in front of the house. The boy looked toward the direction of the voice, then at me and smiled. My father called for me again.

  “Leona? That’s your name?” the boy asked.

  I flashed a smile then took off into a sprint, leaving the green and red-eyed boy behind.

  “I remember you,” I say as I approach Colton.

  He looks at me and tilts his head. “Huh?”

  “When we were kids,” I start, “I helped you with your horse.”

  He raises his eyebrow. “Helped is a bit of an overstatement.”

  “You’re lucky the horse didn’t kick you in the face.” I pop my hip to the side and place a hand on my waist. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  Colton’s face turns a shade of red. “Didn’t think you’d remember.”

  “I do.” I bite my bottom lip. “That was the last time I was ever able to wander off.”

  “For what it’s worth,” Colton says, his mouth shifting into a half-smile, “I didn’t know you were the princess, but I should’ve guessed. Even then, you had fancy clothes.”

  The morning breeze whips warm air through the forest, picking up the shredded ends of my gown as though to illustrate his point. The sun peeks through the openings of the tree canopies, spotting the ground in flashes of light.

  Aiden emerges from the cave, the tax of Kai’s death still worn on his face. His eyes bounce from tree to tree until he settles on a massive oak and points at it. “I was thinking we could bury Kai in front of that one.”

  Colton and I follow him to the tree, its trunk extending up so far that our chins point skyward to see the top.

  “This one’s perfect,” I say, “broad and strong just like he was.”

  Colton smiles, then steps away to pick up a couple of fallen boughs, handing one to Aiden. Aiden starts tapping out the grave’s shape with the pointed end of his branch.

  “I can help.”

  Colton raises a brow and studies my face. “Are you sure? It’s not the cleanest task in the world.”

  Of course he’d be skeptical. Queens don’t usually get their hands dirty, or perform manual labor, for that matter. Even when Mother tended to her gardens, a dainty pair of gloves always protected her hands. But I don’t want to be the stereotypical highborn people perceive me to be.

  I nod and hold out my hand for his branch. “I want to help.”

  He smirks and passes it to me, then retrieves another one from the ground. I turn it over in my palms. Clumps of green moss speckle the bark, the textures contradicting one another. I kneel close to the outline Aiden made in the dirt, and mirror both men’s posture. They ram the edged end of the branches into the ground, loosen the wet dirt, and shovel it aside.

  After watching their repetitive motions, I try it myself. My hand cups the blunt end and I strike the soil, but the tapered end gets st
uck and snatches out of my grasp. I wince and suck in air through my teeth. An intense stinging throbs in my palm from a sliver of wood burrowing under my skin. Aiden and Colton stop and look at me.

  “Are you all right?” Aiden asks, holding out his hand for mine.

  I lay my hand in his and with a light touch, he pulls the splinter from my palm. A bead of red rises and sits on the surface.

  Colton pulls at his ear then scratches just behind it. “You really don’t have to be bothered with this if you don’t want.”

  I shake my head. “I’ll try again.”

  He pulls my branch from the ground and hands it back to me. “You’re holding it right, but you’ll want to drive it in at an angle.” He simulates the motion at a slow speed with his own branch.

  I nod and grip the bark, my blood soaking into the moss. I hit the ground once more, and this time, the branch loosens the dirt without getting stuck. Colton grins with bright eyes, and both he and Aiden continue to work on their sections.

  After hours of breaking up the dirt and scooping it out with our hands, the sun shifts its position in the sky and glides to its midpoint. My shoulders are sore, and my hands are filthy, but once Kai’s grave is complete, all of my discomfort pales in comparison.

  In the cave, I untie the sash from my torso and slip it around Kai’s head, securing it in place over his eyes. Erenese funeral customs require a veil soaked in holy water to cover the eyes of the deceased. It allows the person’s soul to be cloaked as it purges from the body and begins its passage to the afterlife. We don’t have a veil or holy water, so the lacy cincture of my gown will have to do.

  I fold Kai’s hands over his stomach. There is no trace of warmth on his skin. His knuckles are scarred, and I shudder at the life he must’ve had to endure. I don’t know what he did that caused him to be sent to the arena, and at this point, I don’t care. He died much sooner than the expectancy of his life. His hair has only begun to lose its dark color and fade to gray. He should’ve grown old with his wife. He should’ve been able to watch his sons get married and start families of their own. But he’s dead, and I can’t help feeling that it’s my fault.

  My eyes sting and I tear them away from Kai’s face. I nod and Colton and Aiden each take an end of his body. Together, they lift him, the sash’s tails swinging just under his head. I stand just outside of the cave as they carry the fallen gladiator to his final resting place.

  Countless birds, their feathers burning bright with red, line the branches of Kai’s oak tree. A chorus of their trills beckons more birds to them, until there’s more red than the green of the leaves. The timbre of their song lowers in volume as the men lower Kai into the hole.

  We stand at one side of the grave in silence. The birds show their respect as well, the only sound coming from the rustling of the treetops. After a long moment, I reach down and pick up a handful of dirt. I tighten my grip to keep it from slipping through my fingers.

  “Though your body is dead, your soul will live on. Safe passage to your eternal destination.” I toss the dirt into the grave. It lands on Kai’s stomach, covering his marred hands.

  At my side, Aiden grabs his dirt and says the funeral rites, then tosses it so it builds on mine. His shoulders slump, as though by letting go of the dirt, he also let go some of his strength.

  Colton’s fingers tremble as he takes a mound of dirt into his hand. He holds it, his eyes locked on Kai’s expressionless face. A deep crease forms above his brows. He shakes his head, his lip pulling to the side as he bears his teeth. My chest hollows out as I watch him. There’s pain in his eyes—but also anger.

  “Though your body is dead, your soul will live on.” His voice is seething with unsaid words. He grips the dirt tighter, some trickling to his feet, and throws it into the grave. “Safe passage…to your eternal destination.” A tear rolls down his cheek. He swipes it away, leaving a smear of dirt across his skin.

  Aiden extends his arm to comfort Colton, but he crouches out of Aiden’s reach. He shoves dirt back into the hole as though the soil may disappear if it doesn’t return to its origin. Dirt cascades over the edge and surrounds Kai’s feet first, then his legs. Aiden and I exchange a look. Neither one of us is sure how to respond, so we kneel and help Colton bury his friend.

  Aiden takes a jagged rock and scratches Kai’s name in the base of the tree trunk. Malakai Russo. Apparently, he was the last Russo. There’s no one else to carry on his family name. Aiden finishes and tosses the rock aside, then joins Colton and I. Together, we stare past the freshly packed grave at the carved letters.

  “They can’t keep getting away with this.” Aiden swats at the air and disrupts the silence among us.

  Colton presses the heel of his hand against his eye. “They’ve been getting away with it for well over a year. Why would they stop now?”

  I drop my head and focus on the dried mud on my boots. He’s right. Even when I sat on the throne, attended weekly council meetings, and met with diplomats, the Council and guards were the ones controlling the country. I wonder, for a moment, whether the guards threatened the diplomats to withhold their true concerns from me.

  “Regardless of how long it’s been going on,” Aiden says, “it doesn’t mean it should continue. There has to be something that can be done.”

  I tap my knuckles against my lips, the taste of earth finding its way to my tongue. I’m sure Aiden means well, but there’s nothing left to be done. Aerok and his father have everything they need to govern the country as they see fit. They have the three-hundred-man guard under their control as well as the support of the nobles. If I would’ve kept my mouth shut and married, I would’ve only been a puppet while they pulled the strings. “Erenen’s sovereignty is in their hands. But if they did what you say—”

  “If?” Colton whirls to face me with an arched brow. “They tried to kill you last night, and you’re doubting whether or not they’d be so bold as to claim false crimes?”

  My brows pinch together, my mouth pulling into a frown. I pick at the beginnings of a hole in my dress as though it is the source of my discomfort. “I’m not doubting it. I’m only saying that maybe they can be reasoned with if attention is brought to their deception.”

  “That’s a bit naive, yeah?” He laughs with an edge to the tone. His eyes narrow, a blaze rising behind them. “You want to march back up there and tell them to cut it out? Tell them that what they’re doing is wrong and they should behave? Remind me again—how’d that work out for you last time?”

  My pulse quickens. A surge of heat radiates under my skin and flushes my cheeks. I stomp toward him, our glares mixing into a maelstrom of fury. He stiffens his jaw. I open my mouth to engage in his discord, but my prudence snaps it shut. I’m not used to this level of insolence. There’s no point in arguing with him. I’m probably not even good at it. Even when the Council challenged me, they always surrendered to my wishes, albeit at their own undisclosed terms.

  The fire in Colton’s eyes burns brighter than the red in his iris. I hold his gaze and wait for his concession, but he doesn’t budge. Such a brute. It’s not too late for me to claw his face off. He’s close enough. Each exhale he makes brushes my cheeks, warming the already strained air between us. Before I turn thought into action, I storm away, my shoulder knocking against his as though he isn’t there. My eyes flash to Aiden. He sways in place, his hands resting on top of his head. How he’s able to tolerate Colton’s audacity must be an acquired skill.

  I set my sights to the west, the trees offering no clear destination. The forest ahead is a wall of browns and greens, only pausing when the elevation changes.

  “Where are you going?” The insult in Colton’s voice is still present like a thorn in my side.

  I ignore him, my feet pounding harder against the damp dirt. The squish each step makes is oddly satisfying. I need to get away from Demesne—away from Colton’s unbridled arrogance.

  Braer. That’s where I’m going. It’s only an eight-day trip on the wat
er. There’s nothing left for me here. No throne. No legacy. No family. At least in Braer, I could start over—maybe cut my hair and lose all the fine clothing. I could do that. I could live a normal life. I could be happy.

  “No wonder the kingdom is in shambles,” Colton calls behind me. “I didn’t think a queen would bow down so easily.”

  I freeze, my body tensing with nerves I didn’t know I had. His words cut deeper than I expect, and I pivot. Colton stands with his chin up, his arms crossed over his chest. Aiden gawks at him, the taunt a surprise for him, too.

  My heartbeat hammers in my ears. Why is he so aggravating? A streak of adrenaline courses through my veins, severing all ties of caution. A few short moments and angry steps later, I’m back in front of him. “You’ve made it quite clear that I’m useless here, both on and off the throne. So, since you apparently have all the answers, what do you propose I do? What do you want from me?”

  “Fight back.” His voice is a hush, a stark contrast from the volume only seconds earlier. “You feel that rage building within you? Instead of running from it, channel it and fight back.”

  I groan and throw my arms up. “Fight back, how? I’m only one person.”

  “You don’t have to be.” The flames in his eyes dim to reveal their harmless shade of green. The pale color stands out from the rest of his tanned skin. He lowers his arms and relaxes them at his sides.

  I stare at him with a blank look. My fingers reach up to ease the tension welling between my brows. “You’re not making any sense.”

  His lips twist into a slight grin, and he looks to Aiden.

  Aiden nods, a dimple settling into one of his cheeks as he smiles. “My brother is my shield, and I am his armor.”

  “That makes even less sense.”

  “It’s a saying we use in the villages,” Colton says, leaning in. “It means that we will protect one another, no matter what, no matter which village we’re from. We couldn’t count on the crown for that safety, so we secured it ourselves.” He lowers his eyes from mine, focusing his gaze on Kai’s grave.

  His words circle in my head and a pain forms in the back of my throat. I never realized the villages were so unified. That sense of alliance doesn’t exist among the nobles. Most highborns’ loyalty extends as far as what they deem your value is. …And the arena! I gasp and let my face fall into my hands. My eyes burn behind their lids. No… I can only imagine the torture the villagers had to endure by being forced to kill the same people they swore to defend.