Shield of Refuge

by Carol Steward

  She shook her head, wishing she hadn’t sent Nick and Sarah away until she’d heard from Garrett. She was getting worried that he hadn’t called back. She hoped Melendez hadn’t found him this time.

  It was for the best, she kept telling herself. They’d been attracted to each other since their vehicles had collided. This couldn’t be anything more than a reaction to the stress, guilt and physical attraction. They had to put some distance between them, she tried to convince herself.

  The business phone rang, and Amber heaved a sigh of relief. The last thing she felt like doing tonight was going out and trying to enjoy herself. She had too many details to finish for this big wedding, she reminded herself as she picked up the phone.

  She knew he’d call, and she was ready to argue that she was fine. Unfortunately, it was Rachelle, and her best friend wasn’t in the mood to be put off. After talking about the kids, her husband, and the added stress of the holidays, she asked, “Have you heard the public announcement?”

  “Yeah, I did,” she said hesitantly. With their vacation, Amber hadn’t wanted to worry them with her crises.

  “I’m wondering what happened to make them decide to release the information,” Rachelle said.

  Amber moved the speaker phone closer so she could work and talk. “Garrett insisted the mayor didn’t want them to make it public, so Garrett did a little digging and made contact with her family.” Then Amber told Rachelle what had happened to her.

  “Are you okay with him being a cop? He seems like a nice guy,” she said, expressing her concern with Amber for staying at the store alone.

  Amber assured her it was safe again, and the police were watching out for her, thanks to Garrett.

  Amber bit her lip and the happiness spread, just hearing that her friend liked what she’d heard about Garrett. “He is a really nice guy, but I know he’s trying to get a job with the FBI or one of those federal agencies. The last thing he needs is someone holding him back. He’s a good officer, but I don’t think I’d be able to take the stress.”

  “Don’t give up without talking to Garrett, Amber. Hand it to God and give it a chance. Maybe you can get him to come to church Sunday. If you really care for him, you need to compromise. God will take care of the rest. I’d like to meet him,” Rachelle said.

  Amber could hear the smile in her friend’s voice. “This is just because of the case,” she said, trying to prepare herself for that fact. Sure, he’d been comforting after the attack, but sooner or later, it would come down to facing reality. He had dreams that didn’t go along with hers.

  They talked for a long time while she worked on the flowers for the cake.

  “I guess we’ll see, but he seems pretty serious. I mean, you’re practically part of his family now!”

  “They are as easy to love as he is, honestly.”

  Rachelle laughed. “See? You need to give it a chance!”

  Amber explained that she needed to tell Garrett about her police record, before things got any more involved. It helped to say the words aloud, to hear her friend finally support her reasoning.

  An hour later, she’d covered every pan she had in the family-size kitchen with pastel flowers and set them on every available table and seat to dry, and she still had another color left to make. Amber thanked Rachelle for making a long, quiet afternoon go quicker. They said goodbye, and Amber again wondered what was keeping Garrett.

  It was only five o’clock. She may as well make the last color of royal icing and know they were all ready. Dumping powdered sugar, dried egg whites and water into the home-size professional mixer, she cranked it up, then left it to whip for ten minutes. She took a deep breath and felt the stitches on her jaw, reminding her that God did answer her prayers.

  She turned on the radio and, almost immediately, the public announcement came on. The police advised women to be extra cautious and on the lookout for a police impersonator. They included a description of the car and the man. They even went so far as to advise anyone who was suspicious of being stopped by an unmarked car in a dark secluded area to call 911 from their cellular phone or, if they didn’t have a phone, to cautiously drive to a busy location before stopping. If it was a legitimate officer, they would be patient and support that action. It all sent chills up Amber’s spine. Trust God. Let Him handle it.

  She switched to a radio station that played praise music and went to look out the window. A light snow was falling. She noticed an SUV like his parents’ drive past and felt the loneliness sink in again.

  “That’s ridiculous,” she whispered. “It couldn’t be Garrett. He had to have gotten my message. He would have called by now.” She twisted the shade closed again and tried to focus on the music as she got ready to sit and finish the last batch of flowers. She moved some of the trays to the bed so she’d have room to bring another tray up from the shop. She hurried down the stairs, into the bakery kitchen and grabbed one of the giant cake pans to store the next batch in.

  The phone rang again, and she didn’t want to get her hopes up again. She stared at the phone with fear, remembering the heavy breather who had called her before the attack. “Parties…”

  “It’s Garrett,” he interrupted.

  “Hi,” she said, relieved. The feeling of warmth spread. “Is that you that I saw drive by?”

  He laughed. “I wasn’t sure if you were still here. Nick has been watching out as he patrols. I waited to call until I saw lights. I know you said you want some space, but there’s something I need to talk to you about. I’m out front, if you have a few minutes.”

  “Yeah, we do need to talk. I’m in the kitchen, so I’ll be right there to let you in.” She set the receiver on the hook and grabbed the key from under the counter.

  She disarmed the new security system, then opened the door and hurried him inside. “I’ve got royal icing mixing upstairs. It should be ready. Come on up after you’ve locked the door. The alarm will go back on automatically in sixty seconds. You know where the coat hook is and where the key goes, right?”

  “Yep,” he said as he took off his coat and shook the snowflakes from the parka. She turned and ran up to her apartment.

  He turned the key to lock the deadbolt and watched her disappear with a cake pan in her hands. “And I suspect I’m going to learn where you keep a lot more of your supplies before long,” he said, to himself, he realized. She was long gone.

  He hung the key on the hook under the counter and walked through the immaculate kitchen, appreciating how much effort it had taken to get it that way.

  He turned the corner to head up the stairs, a sweet aroma smacked him in the face.

  Sugar. How could it smell any sweeter than a bakery did every day?

  Nothing could have prepared him for seeing her apartment with trays of pink and lavender and yellow and soft blue candy flowers all over. “What happened in here?” He looked around the room again. “It looks like Easter eggs exploded all over.”

  She looked at the mess and smiled wryly. “Flowers for the wedding cake this weekend.”

  “You actually make them?” There was barely room to walk. “I guess I assumed bakeries bought them from a flower supplier or someone.”

  Amber bit her lip, struggling to hold on to the happiness. “You can buy them, but I am a professional cake decorator,” she said.

  “Interesting choice for a November wedding, isn’t it? That is, according to Sarah and my sister. It seems like I just keep hearing discussions of weddings these days.”

  She laughed. “I agree with them, but I couldn’t change Maya’s mind. They didn’t decide to get married until a couple of months ago, and didn’t want to wait until spring. But Easter is her favorite holiday.”

  Garrett chuckled.

  “I hope it works, or I’m going to be storing a lot of flowers. At least they store well, so I can have them on hand for summer weddings.”

  “Now I know why my mom always bought our cakes here. The flowers look so real.” No matter how light the con
versation, Garrett could feel the tension between them. He blamed himself for moving so quickly, before their friendship had fully developed.

  He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at her. He couldn’t stall anymore. “We need to talk, Amber.”

  For a long moment Amber looked back at him, then returned the decorating bag to the counter and covered it with a wet cloth. “Yes. We do,” she said, leaning one hip against the counter. “I wondered why it took you so long to call back.”

  He nodded. “The chief and I had a lot to discuss. That, and a few other things. He gave me an unexpected file to read. Yours.”

  Her smile faded, a slow, painful evaporation of sweet beauty. “If you don’t mind, I need to keep working, this frosting dries rock hard, and…”

  “What can I do to help?”

  She stared awkwardly at him, frozen in place. “You’re staying?”

  “Unless you want me to leave. I just got here, but if you don’t want to talk…” He stared back, determined to keep his distance. Nothing was going to be accomplished if they couldn’t talk through difficult issues like these. He held his breath, worried that she was going to send him away.

  She grabbed her supplies, walked over to the sofa and started working away. “Actually, it’s rather frightening the way God works. I was just wondering how to ask if you had seen my police record….”

  “I hadn’t, until my meeting with the chief today.”

  She paused, the frosting heaping into a blob on the spindle in her hand. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed that you’d check me out first….”

  He shrugged. “I wouldn’t be the first officer to fall for a bad girl.” He smiled, noting that she didn’t laugh at his humor. “I’m joking.”

  “I warned you that I wasn’t the girl of your dreams,” she said, going about her business. “But then again, your major objective was to keep me out of the way, wasn’t it?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Amber acted like she didn’t hear—which he might have considered if she wasn’t breathing faster than normal. She poked the foil squares into several cups of the nail-looking things and eased the flaps over the edge, then filled each with frosting petals and carefully pulled them off the nail and set them in the cake pan and added the stamens. “It means I should’ve known better than to trust a cop. I’m just an assignment to you.”

  “You’re not just an assignment to me,” he said firmly. “If I didn’t care for you, Amber, I wouldn’t be here to discuss this. I wouldn’t have come back to help you. If you were just an assignment, I would’ve let the surveillance team handle your safety from here on out. I’d have come and interrupted your workday. I’m here because I don’t want this to end up just an assignment.”

  Raw pain showed in her eyes, her actions, even her smile. “Haven’t I messed up your life enough, Garrett?”

  He stared at her. “Apparently I don’t see it that way, or I wouldn’t want to talk to you about it.”

  “You probably know more about me than I do. It wasn’t a time of my life I like to remember.”

  “That’s a convenient excuse,” he said, trying to understand what she was trying not to say. “I don’t want to assume that the charges against you tell the entire story. Trust me, I write these reports, so I know I don’t often look at crime from the same view as the criminal.”

  Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

  “I want to know what happened, Amber. It doesn’t have to mean it’s over…unless that’s what you want.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not what I want, but I think it might be best.”

  “Let’s talk,” he said. “Then we’ll decide together.”

  Amber closed her eyes, almost as if she was praying, before she said anything. “I had been pretty rebellious in high school, but I think the joy ride and vandalism charges were dropped when I turned eighteen, weren’t they?”

  “I didn’t see them listed, but what were those about?”

  “I borrowed my neighbor’s car one night. Their son and I had been dating, and the parents didn’t approve. So they filed charges. The vandalism charge was when my friends and I tee-peed the football players’ houses before homecoming. One kid’s dad was a lawyer with no sense of humor.”

  “And the judge let the charges stick?”

  “Someone fell through the roof of his convertible when they jumped out of the tree. Only one person knew who was responsible, and no one confessed, so we were all charged. I didn’t do it, but I also didn’t stop pushing the limits.

  “What you probably read was what happened while I was at school. Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me go to the same college as any of my friends, and I was determined to prove I didn’t belong there,” she said, starting out painfully. “The week before I left for school, I found out that my parents were separating, so off to college I went. By Thanksgiving, I found out from my little sister and brother that it was bitter, and Mom and Dad were in a custody battle. I figured out exactly how to get their attention. I started drinking and missing classes….”

  Garrett’s legs twitched with the need to move close to her and comfort her, but he forced himself to stay in the straight chair across the coffee table.

  “I bought a fake ID so I could…go out and party more.” She stopped working and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Then one night I was at a frat party, and the campus cops broke it up. I ran….” Her voice disappeared.

  “And they pursued….”

  She nodded silently. “You would have thought I was a three-hundred-pound linebacker the way he tackled and cuffed me.”

  “Was that when you resisted the arrest?”

  She shook her head. “That was the second time. It was the same cop, a week later. I hadn’t even had a drink yet, but because I was underage and had a cup of beer in my hand, with another fake ID, he was determined to scare some sense into me. He told me stories about girls who were raped, showed me horrible pictures of crimes, and threw me in a freezing-cold jail cell and waited until the end of his shift hours later to let me make a call.”

  Garrett shook his head. “There’s a bad apple in every walk of life, and I’m sorry….”

  “You don’t have to apologize, Garrett. I know he was out of line, even if his intentions were to protect me. I learned a valuable lesson. A lot of them, actually. I was in with drunk prostitutes all night because Mom and Dad were too busy fighting to answer their phone, bail me out and knock some sense into me like they should have.”

  “Where’d you go to school again?”

  She smiled. “Wyoming, and they probably weren’t literally ladies-of-the-evening, but it was about as scary to a nineteen-year-old as if they had been.”

  “Sounds like you’ve had some counseling since this all happened.”

  She shrugged. “Mainly my friend’s father, a minister, who agreed to bail me out if I would straighten up and come to services. He’s the one who saved me from self-destruction, and I know how blessed I am that he got through to me. Until I ran into you, I was doing pretty well, staying on the right side of the law,” she said, the tensing of her jaw betrayed her unrest with the situation.

  “Are you still on good terms with your parents?”

  She shook her head. “Only as much as I have to be to see my sister and brother. I’m trying to convince my sister how important a college degree really is. I have a skill that hopefully will get me through, but I sometimes regret not going back to school.”

  “It’s never too late.”

  “One day, maybe, but for now, I’m sure this is where God wants me.”

  Garrett nodded. “I couldn’t agree more.” He steepled his hands in front of him and smiled. “Amber, thank you for telling me. Like I said, it sounds nothing like the charges on the report when you explain it.”

  “I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, I just assumed you’d seen it, or maybe I hoped it didn’t follow me into Colorado.” She glanced at him, then quickly let her g
aze drop. “I’ve heard that you’re applying at the FBI, and I’m sure that they wouldn’t look favorably on your association with me.”

  “That’s the other issue I wanted to talk to you about. I received letters from two federal agencies that would like me to come for testing next week.”

  “Congratulations.” She forced the word out of her mouth and picked up her decorating bag again.

  “Only problem is, I’m not sure it’s what God has in mind for me now. And I’m not sure it’s what I want anymore.”

  “You wouldn’t have applied if you weren’t sure you wanted this opportunity, though.”

  He leaned forward and drew Amber’s attention. “Amber…”

  Her eyes flashed with azure fire.

  “Things have changed since I sent out the applications three months ago,” he said. “If I were offered a job, I would have to go to their academy, and then I probably wouldn’t be assigned near here. Three months ago there was no one in my life to keep me from going wherever they needed to send me. Now I have you to think about.”

  She glanced up, then quickly looked away without a word.

  “Would you ever consider relocating?”

  Amber dropped the decorating bag and her mouth fell open. Their gazes met and she teared up again. “Ever is a long time. Most jobs won’t leave the offer on the table that long. And I’ve already told you, my business is here in Fossil Creek…and I think you’d be crazy not to follow through with your dreams. Just like you told me, you can’t let anyone else steal them. That includes me.”

  Garrett pulled Amber close and gazed into her eyes. “What if I told you that you are my dream?”

  Tears welled in her eyes and she pressed her lips against his. I’d say I love you, but I can’t let you drop out now. “You’ve planned all of your life to do this, Garrett. You have to give it your best shot. Maybe we are meant to be together. Maybe that’s here, or somewhere else, but…”

  “I don’t want to walk away from something here, either, and with the way things are changing…”