Alien Redemption [Clans of Kalquor 06]

by Tracy St. John

  Conyod obeyed. For the next few hours he told them all about Rachel, sharing the things that had made him fall hopelessly for her. They ate dinner and drank companionably, discussing the possibilities, and to Conyod, the suddenly bright future before them. For a little while it was almost like the old days again.

  * * * *

  It was after dark when the sleepless Dramok joined the other man on the balcony. The roar of the waves attacking the beach soothed him. Their Imdiko slept easily within the home, his gentle face finally peaceful again. At least one of them had attained some measure of serenity.

  And so you will remain, my Imdiko. I swear it.

  Shoulder to shoulder with his Nobek, he gripped the low wall of the balcony, letting the breeze blow back his hair. Warmer weather had arrived after the troubling winter, but it still became quite cool at night. The clan had yet to indulge in a soak in the balcony’s large whirlpool.

  The body next to his sang with tension. His clanmate also gripped the wall, and moonlight showed the whiteness of his knuckles. With their third member safely unaware, he let his carefully constructed façade slip off his face. The Nobek’s face was equal parts misery and fury.

  Don’t talk, the Dramok inwardly urged his clanmate. Don’t say what’s been on your mind to tell me all evening. By the ancestors, I truly don’t want to know.

  Of course the Nobek dashed his hopes, as so many had been dashed because of the war.

  “I’m sorry I lied to you. About what’s been going on. About where I’ve been.”

  The Dramok shuddered. “You took that Matara.”

  “And the others. The dead ones, anyway. I’m not part of the rebellion. The political abductions have nothing to do with me.”

  By the ancestors. He was saying he’d killed all those women.

  But I knew already, didn’t I? I think I knew something evil was happening even before this horror.

  Emotion tried to close his throat. His words came out choked. “Why? I know New Bethlehem was horrible, but how can you—?”

  He couldn’t finish. All he could do was stare at a man he thought he knew so well. His Nobek’s tormented face belonged to a stranger. A face much like his own had become.

  The other man’s growl was bestial. “They use their beauty against us. They know how much we want them, how we’ll do anything for them. That one on New Bethlehem … you know the one I’m talking about, my Dramok.”

  The one before the massacre. The Earther woman who had broken a brave and mighty Nobek’s mind.

  My clanmate is killing Mataras. If it gets out, he will be executed. My innocent Imdiko and myself ostracized. We will lose everything, with no hope of starting over.

  It had finally gotten beyond the Dramok’s control. He searched for a way out of the chaos, the madness that had started on a small, insignificant Earther colony.

  The secrets we’ve kept are choking the life out of my Nobek. I don’t want to know what happened in his head that day. But I must listen. If he tells me all of it, maybe that will stop him. Hearing the tale from his mouth might arrest the need for vengeance.

  He swallowed. He really didn’t want to know how that pivotal event had led to New Bethlehem’s infamous Slaughter of Innocents. But things had gotten out of control. The war was over, but his Nobek was still killing. It had to stop.

  “Tell me. I know the story, but tell me every detail from your point of view. I’m the only one who understands, the only one you can talk to about how you felt.”

  “We share so much that is secret. What are a few more confidences?” The other man turned from him to stare out at the roiling blackness of the sea, churning its fury under a moonlit sky. “She came to us as so many did. She wanted food. I sent her with one of my best men to the kitchen at our camp. It was right at meal time. She knew exactly when to do it.”

  The Dramok swallowed. “And there was no check for weapons.” The big mistake. A mistake any Kalquorian male would have made at the time. Nevertheless, his Nobek had not been able to live it down. His clanmate was a good soldier. A great soldier, who never let any detail get past him.

  “I should have checked beneath her coat. It was big and bulky, perfect for hiding arms. If it had been a man, I would have. But she was so small and lovely. So innocent looking with her big wide eyes sending tears down her face.”

  His Nobek’s greatest weakness had been exploited. The man had always been a fearless protector of those smaller and weaker than himself.

  The Dramok tried to assuage his guilt yet again, knowing the Nobek wouldn’t hear him.

  “You weren’t the first to be fooled by an Earther woman. It happened many times after that incident.”

  “I could never imagine one walking into a camp wearing explosives like that. Even if I’d seen it with my own eyes, my mind would not have accepted it. But the explosion – ” He stopped. His eyes were wide, his gaze faraway, seeing the horror. A strange sound came from his throat, one of absolute agony. His whisper barely rose above the growl of the surf. “Body parts flung everywhere. She took nearly two dozen men with her, my Dramok. Men who would have done anything to help her. Some of my best men, men that looked up to me.”

  The clan leader clutched the other man’s shoulder. He felt how his Nobek trembled, but whether from grief or anger, he wasn’t sure. His voice intense, he insisted, “The war is over.

  This must stop.”

  A sigh. His head bowed. “I know. But they are so evil. So many men, men who trusted me, and I sent her right into their midst.”

  “No more killing. I order you.”

  “Yes, my Dramok. I will try.” He didn’t look at him, and that was worrisome. It was as if he didn’t think he could halt the murderous compulsion that had overtaken him. That perhaps he didn’t even want to. Still, he took a deep breath and finally met the clan leader’s eyes. “I have the chance to begin again. Each day is a new start.”

  The shoulder beneath his hand had stopped shaking. The Dramok squeezed that mound of bunched muscle. His clanmate was strong. He would prevail. Putting all his faith in his voice, he told him, “Exactly. Put the past behind you and start anew.” He thought a moment and added, “I know I needn’t remind you our Imdiko cannot suspect any of this. This is a very sensitive time for him, what with the new developments. We must make right what was nearly destroyed.”

  The Nobek stiffened. Nothing roused his protective instincts more than the third member of their clan, the sensitive Imdiko they would shield at all costs. “He will never know what I’ve done. And I will do what I must to keep him from being hurt again.”

  The Dramok wondered at the exact meaning of that last statement. In the end, he was too afraid to ask.

  Chapter 5

  Govi had grilled Rachel over her intentions towards Conyod and his clanmates the day before. ‘Grilled’ indeed, if such a word could exist in connection with Imdiko Govi. Getting interrogated by the gentle head psychologist was like getting beaten by the softest pillow in existence. Still, Rachel had realized that if he wasn’t happy with her responses, he’d put the brakes on her hopes to charm Erybet and Sletran. She’d poured her heart out to him, hoping to impress upon the Imdiko her absolute adoration and devotion to Conyod. At the same time, she made sure Govi knew her gratitude to her primary therapist and her love for him were two separate things.

  Apparently it had worked because Conyod’s Dramok and Nobek were coming to speak to her. She’d managed to schmooze Conyod into finding her a halfway decent sheath dress for the meeting. He’d cocked an eyebrow at her request, obviously confused.

  “They’ve already seen you in your hospital gown,” he pointed out.

  That earned him a scowl. Hardly impressive. I thought you wanted me to win them over?

  “They’re impressed by your mind and your bravery. They don’t care about your clothes.”

  That got the most expressive eyeroll she could muster. You may be brilliant when it comes to trauma, but you have a lot to learn about
a woman’s typical behavior, Conyod. No dress, no meeting. I’m not going to speak to your clan about joining them while looking like a pathetic beggar. Even though she felt like one.

  The Imdiko threw his hands up in surrender. “I’ll find you a dress, Ray-Ray.” As he walked out of the room, she heard him mutter, “Earther women are as demanding as Dramoks.”

  Poor man. He had no idea.

  Conyod had not only brought her a suitable dress, he’d managed to find one close to her size. Marcus had never been able to pull that off. And the purple shade, similar to the Kalquorian’s eye color, looked good against her dark chocolate skin tone. If it was just a bit daring up top, showing a good two inches of cleavage, Rachel decided that would only help her case with the female-deprived Kalquorians.

  Too bad her gorgeous beau hadn’t thought to pick up a pair of shoes too. But he was a man and trying to make her happy, so she was content to make do with her soft-soled hospital slippers.

  Now she stood waiting to meet her potential clan. She wiped one sweating palm on the side of her hard-won dress and clutched her handheld in the other as Conyod ushered Erybet and Sletran into her room. Both bowed deeply to her.

  The almost-too-pretty-to-be-a-boy Erybet straightened and said, “It is a pleasure to meet with you again, Matara. I’d like to thank you for the opportunity to present our case for clanship.”

  She smiled and typed , I am the one grateful to you, Dramok. Conyod told me he shared my feelings for him with you. I hope we can all come to an understanding. Maybe more.

  Erybet’s look was as cautiously hopeful as she felt. “I hope Sletran and I can impress you at least half as favorably as my Imdiko has.”

  Her grin grew, and she found the courage to tease. The fact he clanned with you puts you ahead of the game. You have to be something special to have caught this Imdiko.

  Erybet returned the grin. His obvious delight took a good ten years off his appearance, and Rachel had a glimpse into the hopeful young man he must have once been.

  Conyod indicated the extra seating cushions he’d had brought into her room, all arranged around her low table. “Why don’t we all sit down so we can talk comfortably?”

  They sat, and Rachel realized Sletran had yet to speak. Despite his silence he seemed quite attentive, his eyes riveted on her with seeming fascination. She also noticed Erybet’s smile had disappeared. He was back to being stiff and uncomfortable.

  He flushed under her curious stare. “I apologize for our lack of preparation. We have nothing special to offer you at this meeting.”

  She shook her head, not understanding.

  “We do have something from our last attempt to attract a Matara that you might like to have.

  It is a beautiful piece of jewelry. However, it is my understanding it would be considered poor form for us to give you a gift originally meant for another woman.”

  I’m afraid I’m a bit confused, Dramok.

  “We usually have a gift to present prospective Mataras, and our first meetings are usually in better atmospheres. Your quarters are pleasant enough, but taking you to a fine dining establishment or a museum would be much more impressive.”

  Rachel waved off his concern . I’m not concerned with such things, nice as they are. On Earth, we had a saying; ‘It’s the thought that counts’. I do appreciate the consideration.

  Erybet nodded, but he continued to look ill at ease. There was a lull in the conversation, where no one seemed to know what to say next. Rachel looked again at the silent Nobek to find he was still studying her. He seemed to find her fascinating, but he didn’t speak. Meanwhile Conyod was looking from one clanmate to the other, as if watching a tennis match. He appeared worried.

  Rachel decided to go right to the heart of the matter. She typed quickly on her handheld and showed it to the Dramok. Erybet, do you see yourself as a good man?

  He jerked a little upon reading her words, as if the bald question startled him. “I try to be.”

  And as a Dramok, are you a good leader for your clan?

  That query struck a nerve. Erybet froze. His eyes rolled to one side, taking in his stoic Nobek. Erybet looked back at Rachel and then his gaze dropped to the table. In a low voice he answered. “I’ve made mistakes and sometimes my clanmates suffer for it.”

  His guilty conscience couldn’t be more plain if he’d tattooed it to his forehead. Rachel’s heart went out to him. She knew a lot about making those kinds of mistakes.

  She typed, That makes two of us. I led a revolt on Earth, and it got the man I loved killed, along with several other good people. My intentions were noble, or at least I thought they were.

  Maybe I was just stupid.

  Erybet studied her message for so long that Sletran leaned over to read it too. Both men gave her identical stunned expressions. Then the Dramok’s tense demeanor relaxed. He nodded, his smile that of someone who had found a kindred spirit in pain.

  “We never truly know, do we? We drown in the what-should-have-beens, the things that would have kept our loved ones safe.” He handed her the little computer as he glanced at Sletran again. The shame in his expression was far too familiar.

  I felt guilty that I survived. I didn’t feel worthy of living.

  Conyod was also reading along with Erybet now. He gave her a gentle smile. “We had a few scary spells, didn’t we?” To his clanmates he said, “She never did hurt herself, but she admitted she thought about it all the time.”

  The interrogators didn’t mark my face, but they’d scarred my body. Clothes hid the marks, but I knew I was ugly. I wanted to ruin what little beauty they’d left me, so no one would be fooled into thinking I was something I wasn’t.

  After the men had read that much, she went on. On Earth after Armageddon I found a pair of scissors. Any time my hair would start to grow out, I’d hack it off. I’d have done more, but I was already in so much pain from torture that I couldn’t bring myself to injure myself further.

  Sletran touched his hair at her words. He finally spoke in a deep voice that made Rachel shiver. “Horrible things happened in the war. Many of my friends died. Many who were under my direct command. Many innocents. It is hard to come home and be normal when so many others won’t. It is difficult to not suffer when so many have.”

  Rachel’s chest ached with emotion. The Nobek spoke words she might have uttered had she been able to. He voiced her pain.

  Without hesitation, she confided in the three men: I don’t think I’ll ever return to the person I was. I suppose the old Ray-Ray didn’t survive after all. I guess I have to make a new me.

  Erybet huffed rueful laughter. “I talk about making a new start so often, I’m surprised my clanmates haven’t sealed my mouth shut.”

  You’re right though, Erybet. The past can’t be changed. All we can do is pick up the pieces and move on.

  Erybet and Sletran nodded, their expressions registering complete agreement. Rachel had been ready to accept the two as companions simply because she loved Conyod. That she’d discovered a deeper kinship with them was a happy surprise.

  Sounding like the leader he was supposed to be, Erybet asked, “What do you need from your clan, Ray-Ray?”

  She thought about that. It would be easy to lie, or at least not to tell the whole truth that would expose her too much. But clanning was for life. As much as she was desperate to be with Conyod, Rachel recognized Erybet and Sletran were raw from their own traumas. They needed to know exactly what they were in for with her.

  I need strong men I can rely on. Men who will make me feel safe. Her face heated, and she added, You have no idea how embarrassing it is to admit that. I used to be tough. Able to stand on my own.

  Sletran’s almost feral features somehow managed to convey gentleness. “I think you still are strong, Ray-Ray. Bravery isn’t the lack of fear. It’s facing life even when you feel overcome by terror.”

  She swallowed. She had an overwhelming urge to impress this warrior, perhaps even more than Erybet. It wa
s hard to bare the coward she’d become, but someone like Sletran would sense the real Rachel Hicks anyway.

  Her fingers typed hesitantly, hating to reveal all . I don’t face life though, not anymore. I can’t even speak my own language now for fear my words will hurt someone.

  Conyod’s hand rubbed up and down her back, soothing some of the self-recrimination. “But you are speaking. You’re heading towards the same destination. You’ve simply chosen a path with fewer obstacles.”

  Erybet smiled at her, going stupefyingly gorgeous again. “He’s right. You are still strong, even if you don’t see it. As your clan, we would be there when your courage fails. And Ray-Ray, everyone’s courage fails at some point. Even Nobeks.”

  Sletran pretended to snarl at his Dramok before loudly whispering to Rachel, “But don’t tell anyone. That’s a big secret.”

  Conyod and Rachel laughed out loud, and even Erybet chuckled. The Dramok and Imdiko looked at their third member with hopeful expressions. Rachel noted how much more relaxed they all were now that a few of the uglier bits had been exposed. She thought they seemed quite capable of handling any burden she might stick them with, even though they were obviously struggling with their own demons.

  Even if I wasn’t in love with Conyod, I think I would like to be part of this clan anyway, she decided.

  Sletran leaned forward and offered her his hand. She didn’t hesitate to take it, and she felt a thrill when his fingers closed, making her entire hand disappear in his careful grip. He told her,

  “It is easier to be strong for others than for yourself. I can protect you. It might even make up for—”

  He stopped. Powerful emotion made his mouth snap shut. Rachel heard his teeth click together with the force. He looked away from her face, staring instead at their linked hands.

  Erybet had paled. He watched Sletran carefully. When the Nobek remained still and silent, he said, “We are carrying our own scars, Matara. I know you can see them.” A deep breath, then his words grated as if he was forcing them out through the strength of his will alone.

  “Perhaps you would not be so well off with my clan, though it pains me to say so.”