Heart's Desire (Game of Hearts Series Book 2)

by Sarah Alabaster

  My eyes narrow as Devin tries to play innocent.

  “Yes, and we’re delighted for you both.”

  I look at their eyes to gauge their real reaction, but they really do mean what they say. They are delighted that we are living together, even though it has been such a short time we have known one another.

  Devin allows me the opportunity to speak with his parents without interruption. His silence goes unnoticed until I begin talking about the future, and where we intend on living once my lease is up. Suddenly, he becomes very social and can’t wait to tell them all about it.

  Okay, we may need to discuss this alone later. What’s he up to?

  I’m still trying to shake off the mood I’ve been in once I realized my surprise was coming here, so I stand to stretch my legs, gazing upon the landscape surrounding us.

  “It’s just so beautiful.”

  My eyes are wide as I look around the acres and acres of land that seem to go on and on. Coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, Devin also gazes upon the open field, regarding the conditions of the land with the same awe.

  “It really is beautiful.”

  I smile as I turn and look into his eyes. Once again, we find ourselves in our bubble of love, seemingly unaware of anyone around us.

  Nuzzling his head into the crux of my neck, Devin leans slightly so our bodies are flush. He really is my version of Zen, I realize, as I notice my relaxed state, which is so different from when we first arrived.

  “Feeling better?”

  Neither one of us takes our eyes away from the fields as the sun shines so brightly above.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  “Not mad at me anymore?”

  “No, we’re good.”

  “I want you to get to know my parents. It’s important to me that you get along with them.”

  “Okay, Devin, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine, but since it means so much to you, I’ll try even harder to make sure we do.”

  I’ve never had a problem meeting people, and Devin’s parents are fantastic. I was just not prepared for this trip. If I had time to process we were coming… I’d probably be a basket case.

  Oh, well-played, Dev. Well-played.

  “Thank you.” He pauses to look back at them before saying, “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  ***

  Mr. and Mrs. Robinson are funny and loving, and they’re making me feel like part of the family already. I couldn’t love them more if I tried. They take the opportunity to get to know me by offering to barbeque our lunch on the veranda, which seems like the ultimate compliment to me. Great food, fantastic atmosphere, and good conversation. And these wonderful people are my boyfriend’s parents! What could be better?

  Yeah, I hear the sarcasm, too. In reality, though, they truly are amazing people, with such love for their son it really is awe-inspiring. I only hope to one day be this close to my own children.

  The love Devin’s parents have for one another seems to have lasted decades. You can tell by the sparks they set off between them—they’re soul mates. They seem to embody the ideology of what soul mates should be—loving, caring people who show genuine regard for each other’s ideas, thoughts, and presence.

  I love them already. I can see Devin is watching and not saying a word as he takes in our comradery while preparing the meal on the grill nearby.

  Eventually I make my way to his side.

  “You’re quiet.”

  The worry on his face is hard to miss as I pull him to the side to find out what he’s thinking.

  “Yeah, I am.” He focuses on the grill with such determination I almost regret asking. “Sorry.”

  “No worries, just wondering what you’re thinking.”

  Slowly shaking his head, it looks as though he’s pushing away troubling thoughts.

  “Do you know how much I love you?”

  What?

  “Yes, I could guess.”

  “Good.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “Just watching you with my parents it’s like you’re already part of the family.”

  Already part of the family? Huh? What is he up to?

  “It’s nice, is all.”

  “You wanted me to get along with them. I don’t understand. Are you upset because we are getting along so well?”

  “No, it’s not that.” He shakes his head as he flips the meat on the grill. “I’m so happy you guys are getting along. It’s everything I always hoped for. It’s just…”

  Once again, he looks into the distance in a forlorn way.

  I have no way of discerning his thoughts—let alone his feelings—and it irks me to no end.

  “Would you rather we didn’t get along? I’m so confused. What’s going on, Devin?”

  The sadness in his eyes is unmistakable even as he tries to shake off his mood.

  “It’s just…”

  “What?”

  I’m beginning to panic. Did he bring me here to break up with me? Tell me we’re over? Who does that? Why bring me here if there is no hope for us?

  “Don’t get mad.”

  “Uh-oh, what did you do?”

  “I told my dad about your nightmares.”

  “You what?”

  I can’t believe he told his dad something that was supposed to be so private. It’s not something I think I’ll ever be able to forget or forgive.

  “I told my dad…”

  I cut him off here. It seems like a good place, since I’ve already heard what he said. Then I wave my hand to stop him from saying anything more.

  “You told your dad about my nightmares? Why?”

  They’re not a secret or anything, but they were private moments just between the two of us—or so I thought. I’m so confused as to why we’re here at their home, and why he thought he needed to hide this from me. I don’t understand. I thought we discussed everything. I thought wrong, apparently.

  “I thought… We thought…”

  He stammers over the words, trying to find the right ones.

  Can there be right words to fix what I didn’t know was broken?

  “Okay, I’m getting that you thought something. Just say it.”

  It must be bad if he’s having such a hard time telling me what his father said about my nightmares. I’m about ready to scream, but we are at his parents’ house, and I just met them, it doesn’t seem the right time or place.

  “What did you guys think about them, then?”

  Inhaling a deep breath and expelling an even longer one, Devin registers my concern as he begins to tell me what is going on.

  “My dad is a great man. He has always been able to help people with their problems. He’s like a bartender that everyone can tell their troubles to, and he could usually just fix them or give them some good advice that helps fix them.”

  Now I’m really flustered. I’ve never seen Devin ramble nervously like this, except when he thought he may lose me.

  Is he worried he may lose me again once I find out what’s going on?

  “I called my dad after our first night together. I was shaken quite a bit afterward, and wanted to be strong for you.”

  Not gonna say anything. Just listening. Just trying to listen before I kill him.

  “I told my dad all about what happened to you, and how you’ve had the nightmares.”

  I may kill him and bury him in the beautiful landscape surrounding us.

  “He was very upset for you, and upset your friends took advantage of the situation like they did.”

  Whoa, I am gonna kill him!

  I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  “I’m sorry. I know I should have talked to you about it first, but I just wanted to have someone I could talk to about everything that happened to you. I needed to confide in someone outside of us. I’m too close to the situation to figure out if I’m actually being helpful to you or not. My dad is someone I trust more than anyone—other th
an you of course. I just…”

  Looking ashen, he stops speaking, unable to continue as he waits for my reaction.

  Unable to disappoint, I just walk away toward the back garden, mumbling along the way as I head into the wooded area.

  Mustering his courage and bracing for the worst, I can sense Devin following dutifully behind, the contents on the grill forgotten.

  There are so many unanswered questions and secrets surrounding us. How can we possibly continue, unless we fess up to everything we are feeling, and all we are not saying?

  I just need to make this stand. Our relationship doesn’t have secrets—at least, I thought it didn’t. Moving in together after such a short period of time and not knowing each other all that well is a breeding ground for obstacles. Apparently, I wasn’t wrong in worrying about our short time together.

  Is this what we’ve missed with time? Getting to know each other better?

  I’m about to demand he tell me everything he’s thinking from now on when I feel his hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him.

  “We need to talk about these secrets and unsaid things between us. They’re getting in the way of us now, and I’m sorry, but unless we discuss everything, we are going to have to break up.”

  I desperately try to hide the tears that are threatening to fall.

  “You’re right. We do need to talk about all of this.”

  Nervously he pulls me into him, but I refuse to budge before we have this talk.

  “We are so not breaking up.”

  “We need to discuss some things, but that wasn’t my intention when I brought you here. I wanted to introduce you to my family so we could move forward with our relationship—not backward.”

  He takes a step closer to me, but doesn’t go beyond that.

  “First, let me start by saying that that’s enough of trying to push me away. I know I blindsided you with coming here today, but pushing me away at every obstacle we encounter is not doing either of us any good. When will you realize, I am not going anywhere?”

  Exasperated, he turns to calm his racing heart before continuing.

  “Second, my intentions are just to help and be with you, but you’re making it…” He turns back to look me in the eye. “Difficult. When there is no reason for it to be so difficult. And third, stop your shit. You love me, too, otherwise you’re right. We need to break this off right now.”

  The line has been drawn. The ultimatum I’ve been waiting for is here, and he’s right. I do push him away at every obstacle. Why? Because losing him now would be easier than later? That’s bullshit! I know that’s bullshit. No matter when I lose him, I doubt I’d survive. I just love him too much. I figure it’s past time I give him the same devotion he’s always given me.

  “What’ll it be?”

  Unable to believe his harsh tone, I take a breath. I think long and hard about what he just told me. After several moments, I realize this is all about the person I used to be. If I truly am going to change from the person I was—the person who hid from life—I need to take a stand. Now.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay, what?”

  “You’re right. I keep pushing you away because I want to protect you from…”

  “From what? The man that attacked you? The people that hurt you?”

  “No, that’s not it!”

  “Then what?”

  “Me, okay? Me!” I toss my hands in the air. “You’re too good for me, and I don’t want to mess you up with my fucked-up life. I love you too much to do that to you.”

  Dumbfounded and completely at a loss for words, Devin just stands there looking at me.

  I quietly sob as the day begins to disappear upon the horizon.

  “Are you kidding me? You’re trying to protect me by pushing me away, because you love me?”

  “Yes!”

  “Oh, for the love of God, Clara. No more! No more pushing me away. No more trying to protect me. No more of this shit!”

  He’s shouting, but I’m not scared. Okay, maybe a little scared.

  “The whole protecting thing is my job! I do it because I love you! Dammit, when are you going to get it through that thick head of yours? I’m strong enough for anything that comes our way. Not just your way, but our way.”

  It’s amazing that he is able to say all this without raising his voice, and the veins in his neck are protruding from the effort it must have taken.

  “You are so infuriating sometimes, you know that?”

  “I don’t understand why you want to protect me and be there for me, but you’ve only known me for a few months!”

  “I love you, dammit. It didn’t take me long to figure that out, but if you don’t feel the same, tell me now so I can figure out how to go through the rest of my life without you.”

  Living without this man was never an option. The mere thought of losing him makes my heart constrict.

  “I love you, too, and that’s why I pushed you away.”

  “Well, stop,” he says pointedly.

  “Well, fine.”

  “Fine.”

  Chuckling now, we both can’t make the physical effort it takes to maintain this distance any longer. Coming together, we cling onto each other for dear life as our lips collide. It feels like a welcoming, coming home to that one person who makes us feel complete.

  “You feel that?” Devin asks as he gazes into my eyes.

  His are half-hooded, with the look of a predator narrowing in on his prey.

  “Yes, I feel it.”

  There has never been a way to deny the charge that bolts between us whenever we are near. The electricity has always been there, even from that first point of contact when we wiped up the spilled coffee outside the bakery. If it could be seen, there would be no denying the links between us as it pulls us together.

  In the distance, I can see Devin’s parents watching us as we finish our argument. The sun is now setting in the horizon, casting upon the garden in a hue of pinks and purple sheer mist that accentuates the flower beds, just making it all that much more special.

  ***

  “Everything okay, honey?” Mrs. Robinson asks as we make our way back to the cookout.

  “Yeah, Mom. We’re okay now. Clara just isn’t used to this amount of attention from parents.”

  I regard Devin’s parents with blossoming affection. It’s in that moment that I realize that I can see myself as part of this family. If only I could keep myself from messing things up completely with Devin.

  His understanding of me is not what I am used to, but he’s right. I really need to start letting him protect and care for me the way he wants to. After all, could that be all that bad? Of course not. I want to change my life, and now I have the ability to do that, so why not give this a chance and see what happens?

  ***

  We spend the rest of the day enjoying the company of Devin’s parents. They make me feel like part of the family, rehashing Devin’s high school days. I’m not surprised to learn that he was the most popular boy in school. The tails of his exploits are not to be underestimated, since apparently he did spend a great portion of his youth as a troublemaker.

  This pleases me in many ways. My man has a naughty streak. We’ll have to delve into the adult version sometime later, but for now, slow and steady seems to be our new mantra.

  By the time we make it home, well past midnight, it is astonishing to me how easily Devin has ingratiated himself into every aspect of my life. Frank the doorman, the security guard, and the evening staff all greet us as we make our way toward the elevators. It seems odd to recall that there ever was a time he wasn’t here with me.

  Sliding his keycard into the security system to call the elevator, he ushers us in as the doors open, and keeps me by his side as we make our way up to the fifteenth floor.

  “Long day, huh?”

  “Yeah, but you know I enjoyed it. Not at first, of course, or when we were fighting, but afterward I really enjoyed spending time with your folk
s.”

  “Fighting? I didn’t think we were fighting. I took that as us getting to know each other better by airing out our feelings.”

  The knowledge that Devin doesn’t consider that a fight gives me a sense of warmth that starts in my chest and spreads to my heart. I’m satisfied to know that in the future, when we do fight—or what I consider a fight—everything will be okay. How many couples can say that so early in their relationship? No one I know, but then again, I really don’t know that many people here—let alone normal couples. I wonder if Devin’s parents fight. Just then it hits me: my consideration for Devin’s parents has taken root in my thoughts, and something I hoped would happen one day is already beginning faster than I expected.

  We are becoming a family.

  I wonder if Devin knows how lucky he is to have parents as wonderful as his? My inner musings are squashed as the elevator pings its recognition of the floor and opens for us.

  “Come on, sleepy head, let’s get you to bed.”

  I’m so tired I’m barely able to move, so he lifts me up like I’m a feather and nestles me into his chest. With my head just below his chin, he kisses my hair.

  “You’re gonna have to fish out the keys from my pocket, baby, otherwise I may have to put you down. And right now, putting you down is not an option.”

  I can feel his erection pressing into my side when he shifts so I can grab for the keys in his pocket.

  As my fingers graze his manhood, I feel him hardening even more, giving way to the dark thoughts which are causing his eyes to dilate.

  Looks like I’m not the only one affected by the close proximity. I’m up now!

  Making our way inside, our lips seek each other as our hunger grows beyond the stratosphere.

  “Tired?”

  “Not anymore,” I whisper as he places me in the middle of the bed.

  “Good. Me, neither. Let’s see what we have here.”

  He strips himself first, then slowly undresses me. Climbing over me and making his way up my body, I can’t help but shiver at the thought of him about to be inside me. Once his lips connect with mine, I’m lost completely, surrounded by him. His mouth charters a path from my lips to my pert nipples, which are begging him to suck them. Taking one into his mouth, his fingers pinch the other, making my back nearly levitate off the bed.