Malice in Wonderland Bundle 3

by Lotus Rose

  Dalten gasps. “You wouldn’t!”

  “You need to decide between your love or your sugary sweets. Rebuke your love and the witch, or lose your candy! Which do you value more?” She wiggles the bottle threateningly above her head.

  The giant shrieks like a little girl. “Stop it! Don’t make me decide!”

  Sleepy B starts giggling—apparently at Dalten’s shriek.

  “No!” Neva shouts. “Choose! Now! 3...2...”

  “Candy!” Dalten yells in a shrill voice. “I choose candy!”

  “And what do you rebuke?!”

  “My love! In fact, you made me realize what she did to me. Now I loathe her!”

  With a nod, Neva says, “Good.” She plucks the handkerchief out, tosses it on the ground, and stomps the flame out—Malice thoughtfully takes the bottle from her so Neva doesn’t spill or break it during her stomping.

  Dalten, meanwhile, gently sets Sleepy B on the ground. “Land ho!” she shouts and giggles.

  “In fact,” Dalten says, “I’m gonna break up with her. Curse that witch for trying to keep me from my candy.”

  Neva says, “And will you stop drinking now?”

  “Blimey, yes! Alcohol is lame, anyway, compared to candy.”

  “Wrong!” Malice proclaims. She presses the bottle to her lips and upends it, chugging the whiskey.

  “No!” Sleepy B shouts, whilst extending the ‘o’ sound quite lengthily.

  Malice can hear the clomps of Sleepy B’s feet rapidly approaching, but Malice doesn’t move—she wants to get as many mouthfuls of whiskey inside her as she can manage.

  Out of her peripheral vision, Malice sees Sleepy B sailing through the air with her arms in front of her, in an encore of her flying tackle move—and Sleepy B slams into Malice’s tummy. A moment later Malice is on her back on the hard ground, as she hears the wet smash of the bottle breaking.

  Malice struggles to keep the whiskey inside her stomach as she regains her bearings. Sleepy B lies atop her—it almost seems like the collision had more of an adverse effect on Sleepy B, as the girl struggles to regain her breath.

  “Ugh!” Malice shouts as she slaps repeatedly at the girl’s back. “You made me drop muh drink,” she says sloppily—the booze is definitely affecting her.

  “I—” Sleepy B says, before focusing on her gasping and wheezing.

  Malice feels sudden compassion for Sleepy B—a sign that her kindness programming is still working. But she also feels really drunk and impulsive, and prone to sudden bouts of drunken anger. It’ll be interesting to see which tendency wins out.

  “Oh, bother,” Malice mutters as she realizes she’s about to be nice to Sleepy B. “Lie down, dear. Catch your breath.”

  Malice helps guide Sleepy B onto her back as the Jabberwock says, “Are you two okay?”

  Malice looks up to see the Jabberwock standing next to Humpty next to the Cat.

  Sleepy B manages to say, “I’m okay,” through her wheezes.

  Malice is swaying in her sitting up position. “I’m fine! But why’d you tackle me, Sleepy? Broke me drink.” She frowns miserably.

  “I had to think fast,” Sleepy B says, speaking more clearly now.

  The Cat says, “Just as we do art for art’s sake, sometimes we must tackle simply to be tackling. It was a spectacular sight to behold. Bravo.”

  “I try,” Sleepy B says.

  “Phooey,” Malice says. “Didn’t stop me, though. And there’s still more left. Let’s pop the cork and join me for a few rounds, lads!”

  The Jabberwock says, “You’ve had quite enough already.”

  Humpty says, “Yes, I don’t think you should be drinking, Maly.”

  “Bleh,” Malice says and sticks her tongue out briefly. “What’s Hatty’s nag, then? Where is he?” She looks to see Neva is now in front of Dalten, who hasn’t moved from his spot in front of the pedestal—the giant is kneeling as the two are engaged in a conversation Malice can barely hear.

  Hatter, meanwhile, has walked past them, and is approaching the pedestal.

  “Oh,” Malice says, and grins dopily.

  Dalten’s attention is drawn by all the teammates’ turned heads, and he looks behind him and jolts in surprise.

  Hatter waves at everyone, and smiles big. “Lovely tackle it was, but I’ll be grabbing the heart, now!”

  “No, wait!” Dalten calls, but it’s already too late, as Hatter lifts the heart in his hand. “Ha! I captured your heart!”

  Malice is briefly puzzled as to what exactly Hatty is going on about, but now she’s more puzzled by the fact that a slim cylinder slides upward from the pedestal top, where the heart had previously resided.

  Dalten is standing, stepping toward Hatty whilst gesturing with his hand, “Run! Gumball! You’ll be crushed!”

  Hatter only looks at him and shakes his head, “I don’t gather your meaning.”

  A sound issues forth behind Hatter—it seems to be coming from the wall behind the ramp’s upper end. It sounds like the clanking of metal, and a mechanical sort of grinding noise. Now a sound like large stones grinding against each other. The wall at the end of the ramp begins to rise, revealing a sliver of darkness beneath its bottom.

  Hatter is watching the peculiar spectacle as well. “What—...?”

  The stone wall has risen about four feet now—behind it is something round and large, with a surface of shiny, polished blue. A large ball of some sort?

  Dalten arrives behind Hatter, to whom he shouts, “Booby trap!”

  Malice watches in horror as the wall rises completely, revealing a sphere of blue of about eight feet diameter.

  A deadly blue gumball, exactly as wide as this room—if it rolls down that ramp, we won’t be able to get out of the way!

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  EVERYTHING SEEMS TO slip into slow motion. Dalten drops his lolly, wraps his arms around Hatter and slings him backward, sending his hat once again flying off his head.

  Dalten lets out a whooping war cry as he drunkenly, yet quickly runs up the ramp as the gumball starts rolling. Halfway up the ramp, the giant munchkin presses his shoulder into the giant candy—with a loud, painful-sounding thump.

  He cries out in pain as the candy slows, but doesn’t stop completely, causing his feet to slide along the ramp for several feet. But Dalten finally gains control. He limps as he slowly guides the gumball to the bottom of the ramp, where it comes to rest.

  There are sighs of relief and mild oaths issued forth from the team.

  Dalten turns to them, gives them a pained smile, before wobbling on his ankle. He clumsily sits upon the floor, with his back against the gumball as all the others rush toward him.

  Neva is the first to reach him. “Oh, Dalten!” she shouts. She kneels, “Are you okay?” She makes as if to hug him, but he holds a hand out to her, and says, “I think I broke my arm...and maybe my ankle.”

  “Oh no!” Neva exclaims. “This is terrible!”

  “But he saved us!” Hatter says. “And for that we shall be forever grateful.”

  Dalten’s eyes shift to the front of the room. “The witch!” he exclaims.

  The witch’s voice rings out. “Well, color me impressed. You actually succeeded!”

  Malice turns around to see the witch standing at the room entrance.

  “Hello, my lovely!” she says to Malice, before waving and cackling like an insane witch at the same time. “I hope you put that heart to good use and show that stupid brat Dorothy what for.”

  Hatter raises his fist, shakes it, shouts, “You tried to smoosh us all, with your big blue ball! So unsports-witch like!”

  The witch draws back and presses her fingertips to her chest, but she seems rather amused. “Oh, ho ho! First of all, it’s a gumball, in case you didn’t realize. But I must say, it’s quite amusing if you’re accusing me of unfair conduct, what with your magic amulet and all.” She gestures toward the poor, forlorn, giant. She waves at everyone to come closer as she steps toward Malice.<
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  Dalten even limps over, despite all the concerned comments that he should stay off his leg.

  When everyone is gathered around, Neva says to the witch, “Can you use your magic to heal my poor brother? He’s in pain.”

  The witch scoffs. “Why would I help my ex like that? That wasn’t part of the deal.”

  Sleepy B (who’s now fully recovered) says, “But it’s your fault. He hurt himself stopping your stupid blue gumball from smooshing us all!”

  The witch snorts. “Hey I didn’t tell my ex to stop that ball with his shoulder. He could’ve been smart and run away like a reasonable munchkin—your bodies would’ve eventually halted the gumball’s momentum. And before you ask, yes, I watched it all. There’s peepholes.” She waves vaguely about.

  Hatter says, “But you’ll release him from your love spell?”

  “Of course,” the witch says. “He already is released. That’s why he’s my ex. And his sister, too. And I’m about to give the little quenny here, the Tin Knight’s heart. It’s all in accordance with our agreement, but I have no further obligations to my stinky poo exes.” She sneers at Dalten. “He doesn’t look so bad off. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

  “I’ll heal him!” Malice proclaims. “...with my magical tears!” She waves her hand, and wobbles a bit off-balance, but Humpty steadies her. She drapes her arm around his shoulder, and leans upon him.

  The witch says, “You seem a bit tipsy, my lovely. But you have magic tears, you say?” The witch gazes at Malice, not making eye contact, exactly, but seeming to scrutinize her eyes. “Ah, no more tears for you, my lovely.”

  For some reason, (being drunk) that strikes her as funny and she laughs.

  “I’m serious, deary,” the witch says, and frowns. “Your tear ducts are all dried up. Some other magician or witch has used magic to steal your tears.”

  “What?!” Malice exclaims, she removes her arm from Humpty. “It can’t be! Can it?”

  “It’s absolutely true, my lovely. I can tell. I’m a witch. So I take it you don’t know who did it to you?”

  “I have no clue!” she wails pitifully, but no tears flow. “I can’t remember the last time I cried. I’m sure I can muster up some drops. I’ll think some sad thoughts.” She frowns and concentrates. She wipes beneath her eyes but the skin is dry. “No, no, no,” she murmurs.

  “Oh no!” Hatter says. “It’s like the song...” He sings sadly, “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Mama’s gonna sing you a lullabye.”

  Malice says to Sleepy B, “Slap me!”

  “What?!” Humpty says. “That’s going too far.”

  “Go on, then,” Malice says to Sleepy B. “I know you want to! Go on, make me cry!”

  “Aww,” Sleepy B says, “I don’t wanna do that, Maly.”

  The witch, sounding offended, says, “What, you don’t believe me? Trust me, your water faucets are completely shut off, by means of strong magic. I’m not sure even I would be able to turn the spell off.”

  “What about tears of joy?” the Cat says.

  “Nay to that,” says the witch. “No tears of joy, of eye irritation, or tears of fatigue. No more tears, full stop. So my pathetic little giant candy-loving ex shall just have to wear a cast and heal the old fashioned way. Serves you right for rebuking my love.”

  “It’s worth it, to regain my candy,” Dalten says.

  “Oh, phooey,” says the witch. “You’re just scared of giving your heart to someone else, but if you’re like most people, you shall actually end up misusing your heart and letting it guide you into horrible predicaments that are best avoided by not having a heart in the first place.”

  “Oh, no,” Malice says, “being heartless is absolutely wretched and deplorable. Even a heart that occasionally malfunctions, is preferable. But of course, a fully functional, healthy red heart is ideal...”

  “Yes, yes,” the witch says, “Let’s get this hearts-swapping shenanigan done with, so I can get my exes out of my life, and put as much distance between us as I can manage.” She gestures at the red heart in Hatter’s hand. Malice recalls how he’d been thrown by Dalten—but his top hat is back on his head—the heart doesn’t seem damaged or dirty—Malice assumes he’d held onto it and kept it safe during his being-tossed status.

  “Ooh, shall it be a very bloody procedure?” the Cat says excitedly.

  “Not bloody likely,” the witch quips. “It shall be quite painless, quick and with no cutting involved.” She shakes her hand in midair.

  “Aww...how bland,” says the Cat.

  “Quite,” the witch says. “Now, my lovely,” she says to Malice, “I should warn you...the heart is where love originates...and where love goes wrong, in the case of the blackhearted.”

  “But iz red,” Malice slurs while pointing.

  The witch rolls her eyes. “Yes, I’m not colorblind. The point I was trying to make, is that once you gain a new heart, you shall no longer retain the same romantic feelings towards certain blokes you have feelings for now.”

  Malice drunkenly blurts, “You mean Humpty and Hatty?” She realizes after saying it, that she probably should be embarrassed, but she’s too drunk to feel it.

  Sleepy B giggles.

  “Oh? Are those your two beaus’ names? Just two? I’ve collected dozens of blokes myself. In any case, you shall have to start over with the lads, as far as your lovey-dovey feelings go.”

  The embarrassment suddenly catches up to Malice, and she claps her hand over her mouth, staring at Hatter, now Humpty, with her own eyes wide.

  Hatter and Humpty exchange glances.

  Humpty says, “Things shall be different, but the important thing is, you’ll be healthy.”

  Hatter nods. “Aye. We’re here to support you. Things might be challenging, but we’ll make it through.”

  The witch sniffs. “Girl, you smell like a distillery. Anyhoo, let’s get this over with, so I can make the best of the rest of the day. Ready, little queeny?”

  Malice lowers her hand, straightens her posture, and nods.

  “Very well. Hand me the heart.” To Malice, she says, “Now take your top off.”

  Malice clasps her hands to the top of her dress, and tugs at the material. She hears her teammates gasping.

  The witch snickers. “Just kidding, my lovely. I can perform the procedure while you’re fully clothed. Because, you know, magic! Witness this wondrous heart swap!” She peers intensely at Malice’s chest.

  Malice feels a warm sensation in the area around her ticktock heart as the heart in the witch’s hand glows with a red light, and starts beating. The heart begins to fade away, just as the ticktock heart fades in. And now the witch’s hand holds the mechanical heart.

  “There we are,” says the witch.

  Malice presses her hand to her chest and feels it beating. She lets out a whoop of joy, and her teammates cheer as well.

  Malice is filled with overwhelming gratitude and love for the witch. “Oh, I love you! Thank you! I could kiss you!” And she leans in for a hug.

  But the witch backs away, says, “You love me now, just like the Tin Knight did. But your love shall have to be unrequited, as I shall be leaving now, my lovely.”

  “I’ll miss you, my lovely witch,” Malice says adoringly. She points. “May I keep the ticktock heart? The Tin Knight favors it, and I should like to return it to him someday.”

  The witch shrugs. “Be my guest. I have no desire to add a mechanical heart to my collection, anyway. Now that our business is done, I invite you to descend the staircase to ground level, where there is a magic concealed doorway through which you may let yourself out. As soon as you do so, my spell shall take effect, and you shall promptly be unable to locate my residence. Now get out of my sight, and Malice, I hope you are one day destined to defeat Dorothy.” She gestures at the door.

  “Mind if we take these bottles?” Malice says.

  “Yes. I do. And no candy for you either. Now get out.”

  So the team makes its
way out. Dalten’s ankle turns out not to be as badly injured as feared, and he only has a slight limp as they descend the staircase.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  JUST AS PROMISED, AS soon as the team exits the door at the ground level, they all become promptly, magically disoriented, and lose their way for a few minutes. The munchkins finally regain their bearings, since they’re familiar with the area. But they’ve lost tabs on the witch’s domicile, unable to figure out how to get back to it. Even the Cat, who has the uncanny ability to simply think of locations and then teleport to them, can’t seem to recall how to get to the witch’s house and the column of stone it sits upon.

  The munchkin siblings return to their village, after thanking the team members and wishing them well. They leave the team behind, amongst the rocky terrain of rock formations, because it’s deemed too dangerous for Malice to return to the village.

  It is the night they will seek out the yellow brick road. They only have to wait eight hours until midnight, which they do.

  By that time, Malice is sober, and regretful of her drunken behavior. But of course, she’s “heartened” that she has a new heart. She’s come to realize that all her romantic feelings toward Hatter and Humpty are gone. Her non-romantic loving feelings toward the Jabberwock, Sleepy B, and yes, even the Cat, are gone as well. Even though all of Malice’s memories are intact, it’s as if her feelings of affection have been reset to the first day she’s ever met anyone.

  At least the sappy-sweet behavior of her ticktock heart is gone. She’s glad she’ll just have a regular red heart, even though it originally belonged to a man. That is cause for some concern, because does it mean that from now on, she’ll only have romantic feelings towards girls? She can tell the others wonder about that as well, although no one brings it up directly.

  Malice avoids the subject as well, while doing her best to avoid the love she still feels for the witch. It is sickeningly intense, causing her to yearn to return to the witch’s house to see her beloved—so she’s grateful no one can locate the place.