Lives Collide (Collide #1)

by Kristina Beck

  “James, I think we need some time to come to terms with it. Thank you so much for coming over here to rescue me. I feel so much better.” She traces her fingers up and down my back, which causes my entire body to quake.

  “You would think with all the therapy I’ve had, and medical school too, I’d be able to handle all of this more calmly. Getting lost in hospital work was my coping mechanism. Seeing Bryant with that woman made me snap. You called just when I needed you. Maybe our paths are crossing now because it’s the time we need each other the most.”

  Her arms release me. “Even though I want you here, I need you to leave now. I’m exhausted.” She rubs her eyes.

  “Okay. Anything you want, I’ll do it.”

  “When you held my hand at the park and your lips brushed mine at Cloud Nine, I felt our connection then. Even though the kiss was an accident, it was the best one I ever had…well, until our kiss now. I felt it all over me. I don’t think I can trust myself if you stay here any longer.”

  I nod and stuff my hands in my pockets. I know she’s right, but my body is protesting.

  I’m pretty exhausted after all of this too. I lean down and wrap my arms around her again. I can’t resist hugging her. I want to hold her all night. I kiss her forehead and move away first.

  “I always thought your eyes were beautiful, Lisa. I think it even more, knowing who you are now. Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out together. Get a good night sleep. You deserve it. I’ll call you soon.” I ease myself toward the open door.

  “Thanks. You really helped me tonight…and all those years ago. You are such a good man. I’ll be thinking of our kiss when I fall asleep tonight. Sleep well.” She blows me a kiss as she leans against the side of the open doorway.

  I walk away and can’t let myself turn around. If I do, I will run back to her and wrap her in my arms again. Kissing against the wall wouldn’t be the only thing we would do. She needs space. But I don’t know how long I can wait. She woke up something inside me I didn’t think existed anymore.

  I open the door to find Alexa on the couch watching TV. She turns her head and sees my face. She sits up. “What happened? You look like shit.”

  I walk over to the couch and drop onto it. “You will never believe it. I don’t even know where to start.”

  She sits on the coffee table, facing me. I explain everything. She sits there with a look of shock and disbelief.

  “This is just fucking weird…but very exciting. Like you were meant to be in each other’s lives and have influenced each other’s paths in life.”

  “How have I influenced her life?”

  “You possibly saved her life. She could have bled to death if you weren’t there to help. And because of that situation, you wanted to become a doctor.”

  I think about it for a moment.

  “After we discovered everything, I kissed her.”

  Her eyes open wide. She smacks me on the arm. “What the hell did you say? You kissed her? Holy shit! That’s awesome! How was it?” she squeals.

  “It was like our mouths were made for each other. It was a jolt to my heart I never felt before. I haven’t desired another woman since I met Jessica. Now that I’ve kissed Lisa, I’m not sure I can walk away. It scares the shit out of me. It would have gone further, but she stopped us. She thinks we aren’t in the right mind-set. I was disappointed, but she’s right. She thinks I’m still dealing with Jessica’s death, and then figuring out I was the one at the accident…it’s too much for one night.”

  Alexa taps her chin. “She’s a smart girl. I think one kiss is good for now. You definitely have chemistry. Take it slow. She’s opening you up again. We’re all so relieved someone is finally getting through to you.”

  “I need a drink. Come into the kitchen with me.”

  She follows me and sits at the table. I stand in front of the open refrigerator. I debate whether I should have a beer or just water.

  I want alcohol but I take a bottle of water instead and lean against the counter. “What if I just want her because I haven’t had sex in a long time?”

  “Do you really think this is only your hormones acting up? There’s so much physical and emotional chemistry between you two, I can practically smell it.” She pinches her nose.

  “If something else happens between us, she wants it to happen when we both want it for the right reasons. I respect her for that. I don’t know what I want. I love being around her. She makes me happy and helps me look forward to the future.”

  “I wish I had the answers for you, but I don’t. This is something you need to figure out yourself. I don’t want either one of you to get hurt in the end.”

  “I still miss Jessica and Jacob. That will never change. I’ve felt guilty even thinking about Lisa. Am I letting them go?” I push off the counter in frustration. “I thought I would feel guilty after kissing her, but I didn’t. If anything, I wanted to kiss her more. After what we discovered, I felt it was right. We’re more than a mere coincidence.”

  I walk over to the window above the kitchen sink. I gaze outside at the stars. What do the stars have planned for me? “Could I start a relationship with her? I vowed I would never love someone again, nor have another child. I couldn’t take the chance of it happening again. I would never survive, Alexa. I can’t do it again.”

  “Maybe it would work with Lisa. She can’t have children,” she says.

  I shoot her a dirty look. “That’s not a reason to have a relationship with her. I can’t be with her just because it’s safe. She deserves so much more. I don’t want to give her false hope. She already feels like she isn’t enough for anyone to begin with.”

  She rises from her chair. “Why don’t you see what happens next. Mom and Dad are coming over for dinner Friday night. Why don’t you ask her to join us? Do you know what her schedule is?”

  “No. You know how hard I worked as a resident. She works like a dog. Isn’t it weird to ask her to have dinner with Mom and Dad? Doesn’t it sound like, I want you to meet my parents?”

  “We aren’t in college anymore. Screw that stuff. Now that you know she was the one from the accident, I feel we already know her. She also lived so close to us when we were kids. It’s okay. Take the chance. What do you have to lose? The old James never took chances. Maybe it’s time to change that.”

  I crush the water bottle and throw it in the recycling bin. “I’ll wait until tomorrow morning. I’ll send her a text message and then leave it up to her. I don’t know how to do this anymore. All I know is it feels right and I don’t want to walk away.”

  Chapter 26

  Lisa

  I sit on the sofa, staring at the same magazine article regarding a new depression medication for fifteen minutes. I slept like hell last night. My head was swirling like a typhoon over the connections in our past. And our kiss. It was so sensual, so steamy. He really knows how to kiss, or we have great chemistry, or both. There was nothing awkward about it. Usually, the first real kiss, not accidental, can be a little strange. But with James, it was as if we have kissed before. We knew each other’s movements beforehand. It was so smooth, and he tasted luscious. I was close to giving in, but I knew it was a bad idea. What if he was thinking about Jessica when he was kissing me? What if he did it because we were both overwhelmed?

  I can’t think about this anymore. I drag myself into the kitchen. While I wait for the coffee machine to finish, I list the things I need to do today on a piece of paper. My energy level is at an all-time low.

  I need to check my phone. Maybe Tina responded to the text I sent her. I wrote I needed to talk to her as soon as possible. I place my coffee cup on the table and plunk onto the sofa. I pick up my phone and see two new text messages, one from Tina and one from James. I can’t help myself. I read the one from him first.

  Hi Lisa, I hope you are better today. I don’t know your schedule but wanted to ask if you would like to come over on Friday night. My parents are coming for dinner. Alexa is going to cook for us
. No pressure at all. I’ll leave it up to you. If you have time and you want to come, dinner is at seven p.m. I hope you can make it. Thinking of you, James.

  I drop the phone onto the sofa like it burnt my hand. Isn’t it kind of weird to meet his parents? I need to talk to my sister. I don’t even read her text message. I dial her work number. I shouldn’t call her at work—

  “Lisa? What’s up? Is everything okay?”

  “Well, I sent you a text message saying I needed to talk to you. I didn’t read your response though. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

  “Yeah, sure. Let me go somewhere quiet. I’ll go hide in a conference room. Give me a few seconds.” I bite my thumb while waiting. “Okay, what’s up?”

  “It’s about James. I’ll tell you the short version because I know you have to work.”

  “This sounds juicy already. Do tell.”

  I wrap my favorite seafoam-green fleece blanket over my legs. The next minutes are consumed with me telling her what happened with Bryant and how James came to my rescue. And then I divulge the most important detail. That James was the one from the accident.

  “Holy shit! I love this. I can’t believe he’s the mysterious guy from the accident.” She giggles like a little girl. “It’s fate. You are meant to be together in some way. Whether as a couple or just good friends, it doesn’t matter. The question is, do you have feelings for James, other than a friend?”

  “Well—” I hesitate as I pick the lint off the throw pillows and blanket.

  “Don’t well me. I want honesty now. No, you know what? I already know the answer. I just want to hear you say it.”

  “Fine.” I pull my knees to my chest. “When I first met him, he was too drunk and rude. The morning after the bar incident kind of changed my feelings toward him. I didn’t know exactly what those feelings were. Maybe sympathy, empathy, attraction. Or all of the above. After we ran into each other at the park, I noticed him more. I just thought it was because I haven’t had any contact with a man in a long time. He’s hard to miss when he’s sober. As we get to know each other more and more, I adore him as a person. He’s a good man. What happened to him was tragic.”

  “I feel like I’m listening to a romance audiobook. The anticipation is killing me.”

  “Behind his sadness, I can see another part of him. He makes me laugh. He’s devoted and very kind. When he came to my apartment right away last night, it showed me he really cares about me. It was nice to be taken care of for once. When he kissed me, that cinched the deal. It’s evident we both have feelings for each other. More than I would like to admit. I stopped us before it went further.”

  She interrupts me by screaming, “What did you say?”

  I swear I felt my hair blow away from the phone.

  “He kissed you and you stopped him? Are you out of your mind? You could’ve had some awesome sex, or at least foreplay.”

  I toss the large lint ball on the table and throw the blanket off my legs. “Tina, this is not about sex. I’m scared about how I feel and the weird connection we have. I don’t know if I should be freaked out or take it as a blessing. He’s also still in mourning. Let’s not forget about that.”

  “I don’t care. This is freaking fantastic. I have a good feeling about this. It’s natural. Please, for once in your life, take a chance and see where it goes. You can’t ignore the connection. You both need each other right now.”

  “Hey, I took a big chance on Bryant, and look where that got me.”

  “I know, but James is completely different from Bryant. Thank God! Bryant was an asshole. James helped you get over him and see it as it truly was. This situation is different and worth the chance. I always knew Bryant wasn’t good for you, but you had to learn that by yourself.”

  “I know. Thanks for reminding me.” It’s a hot poker in my stomach every time she says that. “Anyway, James asked me to go to dinner at his apartment on Friday night. Alexa will be cooking, and his parents will also be there. Is it weird for him to ask me to come over when his parents are there?” I bite my lower lip.

  “No. Not really. You know him even more now. Who cares if his parents will be there. Be confident and go. Do you have that day off?”

  I sit on the edge of the sofa and stare at my calendar. “I’m scheduled to work during the day. I have the late shift on Saturday. Maybe I’ll wait until Friday to make a decision.”

  “I’m already excited to hear the next chapter of this book,” she says.

  “I’m glad we are so entertaining for you.” I laugh. She has always been a good influence as well as my cheerleader.

  “Sorry, I need to go. I have a stupid meeting in a few minutes. I’m not supposed to be on the phone anyway, but it was totally worth the chance of getting caught.”

  “No problem. Talk to you soon.”

  “Follow your gut, Lisa. It never lies.”

  My gut says, Go for it!

  Chapter 27

  James

  It’s 6:30 p.m. on Friday, and I haven’t heard from Lisa. I guess she isn’t coming. I’m sure she has been working nonstop. That’s why she hasn’t responded. Right? I was hoping she would call and surprise me last minute. I want to give her space if she needs it, even though I want to see her more and more each day. Something changed within me that night. I wake up in the morning without so much dread. My sadness is decreasing. Because of her.

  “Alexa, can I help you with something? You’re doing everything. I need to keep busy.”

  She stops chopping the peppers with annoyance. “I said no, like the million other times you asked me. Stop being so anxious. I have a feeling she’ll show up.”

  “What if it freaked her out when I mentioned Mom and Dad will be here? Or what if she never got the text message?”

  “Now you sound like a girl. Would you please relax.” She waves a knife toward me.

  “Sorry. I can’t stop thinking about her. This yearning to see her or hear her voice has me unhinged.” I groan as I crack my knuckles. “Is it wrong of me to feel this way?”

  “First of all, stop cracking your knuckles. It’s disgusting. Second, no, it’s not wrong. You deserve another chance in life. You haven’t been living. You are finally coming back to us. Have some faith.” She wipes her hands on her red apron. “Mom and Dad should be here soon. You know they are always early.” She pulls plates out of the cabinet and hands them to me. “Set the table please. That’ll keep you busy for five minutes.”

  When the doorbell rings, I almost drop a plate. My heart rate jumps up a notch as I walk to the door. Please let it be Lisa.

  “Hi, Mom and Dad. How are you?” I flash a fake smile to mask my disappointment.

  “We are good, sweetie! How are you after all this craziness in your life?” She shakes my shoulders in excitement. “You look really good. Like your old self with new clothes. It’s good to see you in a pair of jeans for once.” Mom wraps me into a big hug.

  Dad pats me on the back.

  “Thanks, Mom…I guess. Did I dress that bad back then?”

  “It’s not that. You seemed a bit stiff in your pressed khakis and starched shirts. You looked so formal all the time. Jeans make you look more relaxed and casual. It’s always fun to mix things up a little bit.”

  “Sure, Mom. Whatever you say.” I close the door. “Dinner is almost ready. Alexa has outdone herself again, even though I have no idea what she’s making. She can tell you herself.”

  They walk toward the kitchen to greet Alexa. “Oh, by the way Mom and Dad, if by small chance Lisa comes, please don’t bring up the accident and our connection unless she does. Let’s make this night casual. I want us to have fun.”

  Mom pretends to zip her lips.

  We’re all in the kitchen, laughing, when the doorbell rings. I try to act calm and cool, but inside my stomach flips over. I open the door, and she stands there, wearing the leather jacket and holding a bottle of white wine. Seeing her with that jacket on makes my stomach calm down. It gives me hop
e she feels the same way. I flash her a huge smile.

  “You’re here. I assumed you weren’t coming, since I didn’t hear from you.”

  “Sorry. I had decided not to come, but as the day went on, I changed my mind. I needed to see you…I wanted to see you,” she whispers.

  I can’t help but be sucked in by her beauty, not paying attention she’s still standing in the hallway.

  “Can I come in?” She giggles.

  “Of course, but not before I give you this.” I pull her into a hug and kiss her cheek. I whisper in her ear, “I’m so glad you came.” I grin and step to the side. “Nice jacket, by the way.”

  “Thanks. I got it from someone very special a long time ago.” She winks as she walks in the door.

  We finally acknowledge everyone and notice they have been watching us. “Lisa, you already know Alexa.” I motion to Alexa. “Mom and Dad, this is Lisa.”

  Mom doesn’t hesitate to give her a hug. “Well, aren’t you the prettiest little thing.”

  Dad shakes her hand. “Nice to meet you, Lisa. Glad you could make it. We’ve heard so much about you.”

  “Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Kramer. It’s nice to meet you both as well.”

  “Please call us Kathleen and John. Mr. and Mrs. Kramer is too formal for us,” Mom says with an animated smile.

  “Alexa, sorry I’m late.” Lisa gives Alexa a hug and kiss.

  “You aren’t late. You are just on time. I knew you would come.”

  Lisa stands in front of her with one hand propped on her hip. “You look like a chef on the Food Network channel, with your red apron and gourmet kitchen. Do you always look cute and fashionable? You need to give me some fashion and cooking tips.”

  “Thanks. I try…you never know who you will meet.” Alexa giggles and turns back toward the stove.”

  “Oh, here’s a bottle of white wine. I hope you like white wine.”