Lives Collide (Collide #1)

by Kristina Beck

  Getting pregnant has made me reevaluate my life. I stopped my residency to become a psychiatrist. I can’t imagine working nonstop for the next four years while I have a little baby at home. I want to enjoy every second being a mom.

  There are different career paths I can follow. After a lot of thought and discussions with James, I have chosen to go back to get my PhD in psychology instead. It’ll still be a lot of work, but I’ll finish my studies and training faster. This route will allow me to do the same work, without prescribing medication. My main goal has always been to have my own practice. I don’t need to be a psychiatrist to do that. If some patients need further therapy, such as medicine, then I’ll recommend them to someone else.

  Kathleen and Beth have offered to watch the baby when James is working and I’m studying. They will switch days, or we can utilize the daycare services at the hospital. I would rather the baby be with them though. I don’t know what we would do without their help these past months, and after the baby is born.

  James will be back later tonight. His dad wants to finish the baby’s room. I wish I could help them. He’s so excited to become a grandpa. Getting married and having this baby has brought our families close together. We’re happy to be living near everyone again.

  It’s amazing how everything falls into place.

  I ease myself off the bed, holding on to the sheets for balance. I move along the side, but my shirt gets caught on the rail and I’m yanked backward. I try to grab the footboard, but my fingers slip off. I lose my balance and fall onto James’s bed. The pain stabs my side like a knife. I tumble to the floor because my legs can’t hold me up anymore. Please! Not like this. The emergency cord hangs not too far from me. With every ounce of energy I have, between moans, I push myself across the small area between our beds and yank it down. I scream out in pain when the door swings open. “Help me!”

  “Get her to the OR. Now!” Dr. Stuart yells.

  Chapter 55

  James

  I yawn as I enter the elevator going up to Lisa’s floor. One more box ticked off the list. Dad and I finished the nursery a little while ago. I rub my eyes, hoping for a good night sleep. Lisa and I are tired of living in this hospital.

  I step closer to the doors as it approaches her floor. As they slide open, I hear the emergency alert signal radiating through the floor. Lisa! I run down the hallway and see nurses pushing a gurney and Dr. Stuart running briskly down the hall toward the OR. Please don’t be Lisa!

  “Prep her for surgery!” Dr. Stuart demands in the distance.

  Oh my God!

  I run into Lisa’s room. I look around and see the blood on the floor. “No! Lisa! No!” I scream in hysterics. I bolt out of our room toward the OR. The hallway feels miles long. I dive through the doors.

  “Where’s Lisa? What’s happening? Where’s Dr. Stuart?” I’m acting like a crazed lunatic.

  A nurse rushes up to me. “Dr. Kramer, Lisa fell in her room and started to hemorrhage. She needs an emergency C-section. Dr. Stuart is washing up now.”

  “I want to be in the room with Lisa. She needs me there.” I push my way past her. I look around frantically, banging into other nurses. “Where is she?” I scream.

  I see Dr. Stuart run into an OR. I dash in her direction, but the doors close before I can go in. “Lisa!” My fists bang on the hard, thick doors, almost leaving dents.

  “Get him out of here. He can’t be here when he’s like this,” another doctor yells.

  A male nurse grabs me by the arms and pulls me away from the door. I struggle against him. “No, I need to be with her!” I cry out. He pushes me against the wall and holds me there.

  “Dr. Kramer, they will do everything they can. You need to trust them. Please calm down.”

  “I can’t calm down. They could die, and I’m out here. How would you react?” Take a breath, James! They will throw you out of the ward if you are disruptive.

  I rip my arms away and push him back. I fall against the wall and slide to the floor. How can this be happening again? They were doing so well. I tap my head on the wall repeatedly. “Jessica, I know you’re watching over us. Please don’t take them away from me. Help them. I can’t do this again.” I keep repeating this.

  I’m so focused I barely hear a baby cry behind the door. My head shoots up, and then adrenaline yanks me up off the floor like two arms. I cry and smile at the same time. The smile is ripped off my face when I hear the monitor alarms pulsing through the door. “What’s happening? Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on? Lisa!” I pound on the steel door. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”

  Minutes pass by. My energy is at zero. I still hear the baby cry. I lean my forehead against the door. I say quietly, “I love you so much. Both of you are my life. My life is nothing without you by my side. We have a baby to take care of together. You are a mother now. I can’t do this without you.” I sob but jump back when the door slowly opens.

  Dr. Stuart walks into the hallway.

  I pounce at her. “What the hell is going on? Where is my baby? Is Lisa okay? No one is telling me anything!”

  She puts her arm up to add space between us. “I need you to calm down, or I will have you physically removed from this department. I don’t care that you work here or you are her husband. You are chaotic right now and disturbing the other patients.”

  I take a step back and try to compose myself. “Please tell me. I’m losing my mind.” My chest heaves as my head pounds.

  Her angry face transforms into a smile. “I would like to say congratulations first. You have a baby daughter. She’s as healthy as can be and can breathe on her own. She is a true miracle. I will bring you to her in a minute.”

  New tears are pushing behind my eyes, but I won’t let them come yet. Not until I know how Lisa is.

  “What about Lisa? I heard the machines through the door. What happened?”

  “She lost an excessive amount of blood due to the separation of the placenta and the uterus. She needed a blood transfusion. I had to remove her uterus. In that short amount of time, she took a turn for the worse. We lost her for a few seconds. Thankfully, we were able to revive her. She’s still asleep, but she is stable right now. We will monitor her closely for the next few hours.”

  I shake her hand repeatedly. “Thank you for taking care of them. Thank you so much. They are my life.”

  “Lisa’s a fighter. She has been this entire pregnancy. She’ll be fine, but we still need to be careful.”

  “Please let me see them.”

  “How about I introduce you to your new daughter?” She rubs my arm and gives me a reassuring smile.

  I have a daughter, and she is healthy. It can finally sink in. I take a deep breath as my heart grows even bigger. “Please. I can’t wait any longer.”

  She pushes the button to the sliding door.

  “Please wash your hands first. You know the drill, Dr. Kramer.”

  I laugh and do as she says. I follow her and watch her pick up my daughter. I’m shaking because I’m excited, nervous, delirious…

  She lays her in my arms. “Go sit in that chair in the corner with her for a little while. I’ll let you know when you can see Lisa.”

  I nod. My eyes can’t leave her face, even though they are flowing with tears. She is so beautiful. I kiss her lightly as she sleeps peacefully. She is so tiny but so perfect.

  “You are beautiful like your mom. I can’t wait until you meet her. You are a true blessing for both of us. I promise to be the best dad.”

  A lone tear drips from my eye onto her cheek. I sit with her for what feels like an hour in silence. She stirs in my arms. Her eyes flutter open, and all I see is Lisa. She has her heart-shaped face. She stares at me for a few seconds, then starts to scream. I never thought I would love to hear a baby scream.

  The nurse comes over. “Your daughter needs to have more routine tests performed. I will take her for a few minutes. Please go to Dr. Stuart through that door. S
he’ll take you to see your wife.”

  I’m so scared to see her. I know what people look like after critical situations. That’s my job, but it’s never a nice picture. I remember how terrifying it was to see Jessica lying on the operating table. Please don’t let her look like that.

  I follow Dr. Stuart through a set of doors. She walks around the corner to a row of beds. She motions me to the first bed. I run to Lisa’s and grab her hand. I let more tears flow all over again.

  “Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Please wake up. I can’t do this without you. Please, please, please wake up.”

  I press her hand against my cheek. A nurse brings me a chair. “You can do this, Lisa. You are so strong and have been through so much. Your body can handle this. Your daughter and husband are waiting for you. We need you!”

  Chapter 56

  Lisa

  Everything looks blurred. I don’t know where I am. Wasn’t I just in the hospital room getting a massage? Out in the distance, two foggy figures glide toward me. I can’t tell if they are people or just shadows. Slowly, the figures become clearer. This can’t be real. It’s only a dream. I see Mom and Jessica. Jacob is cradled in her arms.

  I reach out crying, “Mom, I can’t believe it’s you. I’ve missed you so much. You look just like I remember you. So beautiful, like an angel. I wish you were still with us. Am I in heaven? I don’t understand what’s happening.”

  She smiles at me. “I’ve missed you too. I’ve always been with you, but not the way you think. I’m so proud of you and what you have become. James and your baby are waiting for you. You need to go back to them. Go back, be happy, and live your life to the fullest.”

  I turn to Jessica. She’s wearing a beautiful lilac-purple dress. It has short flowing sleeves with a low-cut neckline. Long layers of sheer material and satin cascade from the waistline. “Don’t worry, Lisa. You were meant to be together. Take care of James. He told me about you in his dreams. He loves you more than you’ll ever know. This is the way it’s meant to be. Your mom and I will always be watching over you and your family. Go ahead. Wake up now. They need you.”

  Are they angels? Am I hallucinating? “Don’t go. I have so much to ask. Please don’t go.” I plead. I reach for them out of desperation, but they fade away in the distance. Disappearing into the fog. I hear my name echoing in the far distance. It’s James, calling me. Where is he? My eyes dart back and forth, searching for him. I don’t see him, but I hear him. I jerk my arm in response to something squeezing my hand. I close my eyes and try to hear where the sound is coming from.

  James sits near me. His fingers are entwined with mine. His head rests on our hands. I squeeze his fingers. He jerks up. “Lisa? Lisa!” He stares at me with sadness but also relief. He leans down and showers me with kisses all over my face. “Thank God you are awake. I thought I was going to lose you.” He presses my hand against his face as tears run down his cheeks.

  He wipes them away. “I can’t stop crying.”

  I’m so confused and lethargic. Out of instinct, my hand aims for my stomach. It’s flat. “Our baby! Where’s our baby? Is the baby okay? Am I okay?” I mumble, shaking my head back and forth in panic. My body throbs in pain.

  “Lisa, stay calm and still.” He rubs my forehead. “We have a beautiful baby girl. She’s small but very healthy. I’m so proud of you. You are both going to be just fine.”

  “What happened? I remember getting a massage, but everything after that is fuzzy.”

  “I came back to the hospital just as they were rushing you to surgery. During surgery, you lost a lot of blood after they performed an emergency C-section.”

  He continues to brush his fingers through my hair. He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry to say they had to remove your uterus. They lost you for a couple of seconds, but you came back to us. Thank God you came back to us.” He kisses my forehead.

  “I don’t care as long as she is healthy and I’ll have a quick recovery.”

  “You are going to be on your feet in no time. Let me go tell the nurse that you are awake. I want you to meet our daughter.” He rushes off in excitement.

  He’s a proud daddy. I can hear it in his high-pitched voice and see it in the grin on his face when he said our daughter. I’m surprised there are no cigars sticking out of his shirt pocket.

  I sigh in relief. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew the baby was a girl. I don’t know how, but I did. Mother’s instinct maybe.

  “I’m here again. The nurse is going to bring her to us.” His grin larger than before.

  We’re interrupted by the nurse, holding our daughter who is swaddled in white. “Mrs. Kramer, would you like to meet your daughter?”

  I’m suddenly nervous. The tears form as I nod. I try to lift my arms, but don’t have the energy.

  “Don’t worry, dear. Let me lay her on your chest.” She’s light as a feather. “Now I will put your arm around her like this but you don’t need to carry her.” There you go. She’s a real cutie.” She rubs my hand. “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you.” I beam, of course, with tears in my eyes. We cry way too much.

  “I’ll come back in a little while to check on you both. Your daughter needs to nurse soon.” She slips away to give us privacy.

  My eyes memorize every line of my daughter’s face. “She’s so beautiful. I can’t believe she is finally here. Against all odds, we made it through. She’s absolutely perfect.”

  She is real, and she is my daughter. I trace her sweet cheeks, her little nose, her pointy chin. Every little facial feature as she sleeps. I look to James. “We are a family now. I love you both so much.”

  “I know. But you did all the hard work keeping her safe,” he says. He lays his cheek against mine, and we cradle her together. We stare at her in amazement and block out our surroundings.

  “I have an idea for her name,” I whisper.

  His head perks up. “You do? I thought we agreed on Katie.”

  “We did but how about Felicia Rosa? Felicia for my mom, and Rosa in remembrance of Jessica.”

  His eyebrows furrow together. “Why did you change your mind?”

  “Before I woke up just now, I had a weird dream. My mom and Jessica were in it, as if they were angels. They gave us their blessing and promise to watch over us. It felt so real, James. Felicia Rosa just feels right to me.”

  James remains quiet. “I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say, other than yes. You always amaze me. I’m so lucky to have you as my wife.” He kisses my lips lightly.

  Now I feel completely at peace.

  I put my hand on his cheek. “I know what the reason is.”

  “What do you mean? The reason for what?”

  “We always questioned why our lives were so connected and why they collided when they did. I know the reason why.”

  He looks at me with one eyebrow raised.

  “It was for this moment. For us to become a family with Felicia. We are right where we’re supposed to be.” I can’t hold back the tears. “You both are my dream come true.”

  “And you are mine.” He leans down and kisses my forehead and then Felicia’s. No more words are needed. We finally know why.

  Epilogue

  One Year Later

  “Tina, can you please tie the balloons to the back of the chairs? I don’t want them to blow away. I need to arrange Felicia’s birthday presents on the table here. I think the cake should be placed next to them.”

  I’m glad we have his parents’ house for her birthday party. Even though it is quite windy, it’s a perfectly sunny spring day for a party in the large well-manicured garden. Petals from the flowering trees are blowing in the wind. Bundles of vibrant-colored tulips and daffodils are basking in the sun through the garden borders.

  “I can’t believe Felicia is one today. Time flies. Look at all these presents. She’s spoiled rotten.” Tina ties another balloon to one of the chairs.

  “As she should be. She’s such a blessing to our famil
ies.” She truly is. I have never been this happy in my entire life. She is a good girl, but she has her moments. She can be quite feisty when she wants something. James is wrapped around her little finger. She has a spunky personality, just like Tina and Alexa. She has big aquamarine eyes. Her hair is pure peach fuzz still. I don’t even want to think about how many boys will show up at our front door when she is older. James will need a lot of patience and control not to throw them off the property.

  James finished his fellowship and officially works in the ER and receives a good salary. He loves the hospital. It’s written all over his face when he comes home every day. I still have another year until I’m finished with school and training. I’m already researching how to open my own practice.

  We still live with his parents, but we’ll close on a house in two months. His father found a sweet house for us, two towns over. It’s the perfect size for our family—three bedrooms with a separate apartment attached, which I can use for my own practice one day.

  Our families and friends will be here soon. I hear Felicia crying in the house. She has awakened from her nap. I’d better feed her because the guests will be arriving soon. James went to pick up the last gift for Felicia. It’s the biggest surprise of all. His parents went to pick up her big birthday cake.

  “I’ll take care of her. You finish up what you need to do. I know how to change her diaper and what she likes to eat,” Tina says over her shoulder, already running into the house.

  I giggle. “Thanks! It gives me a few minutes to set up particular pieces that go along with our present for her.”

  Slowly, everyone starts to arrive, adding more gifts to the table. I shake my head in disbelief—we will be here all afternoon opening all of them. Tina comes out with Felicia and greets the guests. Hopefully that will distract Felicia from seeing her mound of presents.