by Blue Saffire
Yes, Mo has power. A power I don’t think I can fight or ignore much longer. I knew that night she owned a part of me as she walked away. Back then, I willingly let it go. I eventually became resolved with never getting it back.
Now, as I stand beneath this cold stream of water, her scent still clinging to me. I know I need that piece back to ever be whole again and that brings back the rage, anger, hurt, and betrayal. Ellen betrayed me.
She threw me into this hell I’m standing in. Trapped between the woman I love, that is gone and lost to me forever, and the woman that is going to burn me to the ground without even trying. I feel like a savage, clawing at my own heart that is also a traitor.
To love two women. Is that even possible? Oh, I am not lusting after Mo. That became clear the moment I watched her cook in my home and feed my family. It wasn’t the action, but the love in which she did it.
I watch her daily care for four children, without complaint. She has opened her heart to Misha’s daughter even though she still can’t stand the man. I knew I loved her when her laugh stopped me in my tracks.
I was on the way to end a life. Business as usual, but her laugh stopped me. When I looked into her face as it lit up the room, I knew. Once I saw the look of awe on Misha face, I understood why he’s been obsessed for years.
Mo has bewitched everyone around her; my family, my friends, my children, darn near everyone that comes near her. Yes, I love her. That’s why I know I can’t have her.
“God, you were wrong, Ellen,” I sob. “You didn’t have to leave me.”
I never deserved either of them, but I refuse to ruin another precious woman. Not another woman I love. I won’t, I can’t.
chapter Twenty-Two
Here to Help
Monique
I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed that I haven’t seen LaSalle since he rushed out the room this morning. I can still feel the tingle of his hands on my body. I’ve tried to distract myself with writing and playing with the kids, but it’s a lost cause.
I never knew a simple touch could be so explosive. I keep thinking about how large his hand felt on me. My breast fit into his palm perfectly, and the feel of his hand cupping my mound. His fingers thrusting into places that no one has been before.
He’s right. Misha needs to go, or I do. When I couldn’t distract myself with writing and playing kick ball in the backyard, I decided to start looking for jobs in Arizona.
“What are you doing, Moj malen’kij kotenok?” Misha breathes over my shoulder, then bites into an apple.
I slam my laptop shut. I hadn’t heard him come into the study. LaSalle has the most comfortable wing back chairs here in this room. I came in here to think and make a plan.
“I’m not your kitten,” I snap. “Mind your own damn business.”
Misha saunters his long body over to the other chair. He sits down like he owns the place. I roll my eyes and start to collect my things to leave.
“Don’t go, Tasha,” Misha says softly. “I want to talk.”
I turn to narrow my eyes at him. He never wants to just talk, he is always in my ear with some dirty shit. Suggesting what he wants to do to me when he gets me away from LaSalle.
“I promise. Just talk,” Misha says in a voice I remember.
My heart squeezes for the friend I once thought I made. I nod slowly, careful not to lead this man on like my sixteen-year-old self once had. I didn’t know better then. I’d like to think I’m a little wiser now.
He nods at my shoulder. “How is shoulder? You ready to shoot,” his lips turn up in a smile.
“Czar’s taking me to get new pistols,” I shrug.
Misha throws his head back and laughs. “Good, I will pay for ones my men disposed of.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “What do you want, Misha?”
“You love LaSalle. You look at him and I see. I still think you two tell me half-truth, but you love him,” Misha says, sounding wounded. “I loved your sister. I see how much, too late. She looked at me same way you look at LaSalle.”
I sigh and my shoulders sag, losing some of the tension. “Misha, when you’re not being an ass, you’re easy to love. I loved you as a friend. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know those weren’t the type of feelings you had for me.”
“Why not tell me that,” Misha growls.
“You didn’t give me a chance to. You were hell bent on what you wanted. I was sixteen and scared out of my mind,” I yell back. “Think about the shit I watched you do in front of me, Misha. You busted that one guy’s face for letting your own father in your home. I was terrified of you.”
“You,” Misha points his fingers at me, while having a death grip on his apple. “Never had to fear me. I would have done anything for you. I, to this day, have done things that are not me, for you.”
Tears spill over and I nod. “I’m sorry, Misha. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I was a girl.”
He looks away from me. “I don’t think I loved her because she looked like you. That was bullshit I told myself because I did love her. I have little girl and I don’t know what to do now. This,” he points to me than him. “It has to end. LaSalle is better man for you. He is going to fuck this up, but he is better man.”
I look at Misha long and hard. I don’t know if this is some trap, so I’m cautious. When I look at him I see his ice blue eyes look tired. His face has even aged some in the last six months.
“What makes you think he’s going to fuck this up?” I ask cautiously.
Misha shrugs and settles back in his seat. “He is in love with you, too, but he is letting Baba Yaga ride his back.”
“Bugimen,” wrinkle my brow.
“Da, boogeyman, is Sam’s worse enemy. He fears LaSalle because LaSalle is Baba Yaga. Uri, Logan, and I are three horsemen, but LaSalle is father of death. He is face no one sees, but everyone fears. If Sam allows LaSalle to roar, there will be no more Sam. His love for you does not want you to be eaten by his darkness,” Misha snorts and slides forward in his chair.
He leans into me, drawing me forward in my seat. “He does not know Tasha. He does not know Baba Yaga lives inside of you, too. You hide her well. This,” he waves his hand in my direction. “This is not little kitten I remember. Where is fire I know?”
He tilts his head at me as he studies me. I let his words sink in and filter through them. More tears spill over. I shake my head.
“I don’t know,” I choke out. “She’s broken.”
“Why?”
I look Misha in the eyes. “Because I broke her. I didn’t want her.”
“But LaSalle needs her. Blood is coming for the man you love. It has been quiet, but the quiet is before storm, Da?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
“Time to get ready, my friend,” Misha smiles at me. “Time, I remind you of killer I built.”
“But why are you doing this?” I ask, as I wipe the tears from my chin.
“You and LaSalle are only family I trust. You give me and my treasure a home,” Misha says softly. “You give her mother, I cannot.”
“What about Aunt Faina and Czar?”
“Faina and I have things to work out. She knows things that she’s kept from me. I have not forgiven her yet,” Misha shrugs. “Czar, Czar has own demons to chase. I give him space for now.”
“You have Val,” I smirk.
Misha rubs his shoulder. “She is trigger happy. We limit our time together for reason,” Misha smirks and I burst into laughter.
“Misha,” I say softly.
“Yes, Kotenok,” he murmurs.
“The Boogeyman, uh?” I ask and bite my lip.
“The Devil himself,” Misha smiles.
“That’s a lot coming from you,” I mutter.
Misha throws his head back and laughs. It is good to see him laughing. Now what does this mean for everything else. I rub my temples, not sure what just happened.
chapter Twenty-three
You’re Not Alone
Monique
I’ve been in a daze since my talk with Misha this afternoon. I still don’t know what it means. All this time LaSalle and I have been trying to keep the peace after our lie to Misha.
If there is no lie to cover, does that mean I’m free to go? Should I just leave? The biggest question is, do I really want to leave?
For the first time, I feel like I belong. I have finally found a place that I feel like I can call home. I don’t know when it started to feel that way, but it has.
Then there are Misha’s words. Oh, and let’s not forget Ellen’s letter. She and Misha speak of Tasha as if she is someone other than me. I get it though, I am someone else to those that know Tasha.
Just like Sam is someone else to his friends and family. I think it’s our split personalities that crossed our paths to begin with. So yup, Misha and Ellen may just be onto something.
“Girl, what’s burning,” I turn at the sound of Pam’s voice.
I find all the girls standing in the kitchen doorway. Pam, Paige, Val, Shannon, Camille, Rita, Marie, Sim, Annabella, Kelly, and Reese. Over the last six months, this has become my crew. These women are all so tight and all add their special spice to my life. I can’t help the smile that comes over my lips.
Leave, no, that’s not what I want. I have a family here. These women, their husbands, and their children. These crazy people have made a home for me. Something I never knew I wanted or needed so much.
“What’s going on,” I lift a wary brow at them.
“We opened another letter,” Paige says.
“From Ellen,” I wrinkle my brows.
“Yeah, yeah,” Pam waves that off. “First, I want to know what you were thinking about because smoke might as well be coming out of those ears.”
“Girl, hush,” Paige huffs.
“Something tells me she was thinking about what brought us here,” Val says as she makes herself comfortable at the kitchen island.
“What brought you here,” I ask.
“There were actually a number of letters. Ellen marked one for each of us. Each marked for six months from...,” Camille blows out a breath.
“I don’t get it. Why have they led you all here?”
“Because Ellen knew you two wouldn’t have sealed the deal by now. She sent in the Calvary. I told you. You too cute to be single around here. So, I’m ready to help you lock this down,” Pam shrug.
“Girl, I can’t with you,” Paige shakes her head.
“What, her cute, innocent ass. Look at her. Nah, I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I don’t think she has touched a dick now that I’m looking,” Pam narrows her eyes at me.
I can feel my whole face go up in flames. My chocolate skin must be purple. I bite my lip and shift.
“Oh, shit,” Pam cackles. “I was joking. Well, damn.”
“All that ass, I don’t think she is going to have to worry about a thing. I see the way he looks at her when he thinks no one is looking. When that man pins that down, he’s going to put it on her and she’s not going to be able to do a thing but take it,” Cam throws her head back and laughs.
“You’re all crazy,” I laugh out in embarrassment.
“No, Love,” Val says, mocking her husband’s accent. “We’re all good at keeping our husbands satisfied.”
“That’s right, when we’re done here you will be sucking, fucking, and nutting like a pro,” Pam sings.
“I’m not here for that,” Marie blushes. “My letter didn’t bring me here for that.”
We all burst into laughter. “Oh, please. Like we don’t know what the collar around your neck stands for,” Rita hollers through her laughter.
“Whatever,” Marie pokes her lip out.
“On a serious note,” Kelly Briggs says. “We’re here to get him to see you as a woman. Not the caretaker that has stepped in to help out.”
“Seriously,” Camille says. “Enough with the sweats and head wraps.”
“I think the head wraps are cute on her,” Paige shrugs.
“I like them too,” Reese nods.
“Okay, but the sweats have got to go. Ellen knew that each of us could help give a little push. Now let’s get moving. All the kiddies are with the grands and Logan said we have until eight. Val, you and Reese get started on her closet. Pam, you can dress her for tonight and we can both start this master’s session on giving head,” Camille smiles slyly.
I just stand with my mouth hanging open. They’re serious. What the hell is going on today?
~B~
Sam
I need a shower and a drink. However, I’m going to pass on that drink tonight, after what happened this morning. My parents called to say they wanted to keep the kids for a sleepover. I sent over a few extra men, just as a precaution.
I’ve been trying to avoid coming home, but everyone had some excuse for needing to be somewhere else. I wish I had somewhere else to be. I still can’t believe what I did this morning. I feel like a dirty pervert.
I don’t know what to say to Mo. I feel like shit for violating her. I have to fly out on business in a few weeks. I’ve thought about leaving a little earlier. Maybe we need some space.
My brows draw as I walk into my home to a few things that don’t seem right. One, the lights are dim. Two, there’s music playing. Three, I hear laughter, female and male.
I move further into the house to find Mo and some guy in my living room. He’s tall, but not taller than me. He’s dark skin and the smile he’s giving to Mo is blinding it’s so white.
I’m reminded of what her fiancé once looked like. Nothing like me. That shit grates on my nerves. My ears register that Etta James is crooning about rather going blind, and I agree with her. I don’t want to see this shit.
Rage fills me. Mo is trying to get us both killed. This is the last thing I need Misha to see. My eyes zone in on her and I stumble back. She looks…the fuck?
Mo has on a skin-tight pair of light blue jeans. The way they are hugging her hips and ass, has me hard instantly. Her pretty, little toes are out, in blue strappy winged looking shoes.
Though her blue and white t-shirts are layered, they are doing nothing to hide her full breasts. Her face is made up to perfection. Those perfect full lips are shining like lights flashing to guide my dick straight to them. She’s gorgeous.
I shrug out of my suit jacket and toss it. “Who the fuck is he, and why the fuck is he in my home?” I snarl.
Mo turns to me and the smile falls from her lips. This dead motherfucker actually puffs his chest out, in my damn home. I step toward him shaking my head.
“You don’t want to do that shit. Not with me, bitch,” I say to him.
“Sam,” Mo gasps.
My head snaps towards her. “You didn’t answer my question. You’re playing with his life,” I growl.
She sets down her glass of wine and moves to stand in front of me. “This is Clive,” she says as she places her small hands on my chest. “The glass artist that makes the puzzles and things for Sammy, for me.”
I place my hands on her waist possessively. “Why is he here?” I grunt.
I’m getting pissed off by the second. She feels so damn good in my hands, and she shouldn’t. I don’t take my eyes off this motherfucker, that doesn’t know I could kill him a million different ways and not leave a trace.
“Sammy has been asking for more puzzles. Clive was cool enough to come by to get some pictures I found. He’s on his way out, we just got caught up talking about the music,” she explains.
I look down at her, pulling her closer to me. She slides her hands up to my neck and we’re both lost in each other. I feel like a magnet is pulling me to her.
“Thank God, man of house is home. Can you feed me now?” Misha groans like a big child. “You,” he points a half-eaten apple at this pussy that’s still glaring in front of me. “I want glass puzzle for my little girl, Da? Her birthday is coming. Make it happen.”
With that Misha turns
and heads back the way he came. I loosen my grip on Mo. Instead of kissing her lips, I brush a kiss to her forehead.
“Did you get what you came for,” I ask this Clive.
“Yeah,” he says eyeballing me.
“I don’t like you. First, I find you eye fucking my woman. Now, you’re sizing me up. I’m the wrong one to fuck with. I’ll pick up my son’s puzzles. My assistant will contact you in the morning. You deal with me from now on,” I hiss.
“Sam,” Mo gasps again.
“What, Baby,” I reply, not looking away from the man I may have to fuck up.
“Baby,” she whispers.
I turn my head slowly at the endearment. She smiles up at me, reaching to cup my ticking jaw. She bites her lip and I can feel her shift as she crosses her thighs.
“Goodnight, Clive, can you see your way out?” Mo says, not taking her eyes off me.
Mo uncrosses her legs and starts to sway in my arms to the music. I pull her closer. It’s not lost on me that Al Green’s, How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, is playing. My hands slide up her back as I take over the dance.
I can feel that motherfucker watching us, as he leaves my home, but I know my men are watching him from the shadows. I train my focus on the woman in my arms. The one I told myself I couldn’t have.
My eyes fall to her lush lips. I can’t stop my hand from roaming back down to her ass. It’s like the first time she was in my arms. I’m under her spell.
With my other hand, I run the backs of my fingers across her cheekbone, down to her lips, where I run my thumb across the soft pillow of her bottom lip. My greys lock with her soft browns.
“I have nothing to give you,” I breathe.
“I could say the same thing,” she whispers.
“You would be lying,” I say and dip my head.
I’m taking her lips before I can think better of it. She opens right up for me. Her taste bursts in my mouth and consumes my entire being. I growl and grip a hand full of her ass.
She tastes of chocolate and wine. I dance her back to the nearest wall. Lifting her to my waist, I press her back to the wall. I plant one hand on the wall, as the other kneads her thick ass.
I deepen the kiss and she whimpers into my mouth. I can’t control myself. I start to grind slowly into her heat.