Dear Diamond

by Walls, Stephie

  She stirred under the covers, but I didn’t wait around for her to fully wake. The bathroom called my name, and then I needed food. The growl that came from my stomach protested having been ignored last night and into this morning. Alcohol didn’t metabolize quite the same way a steak did, and if I didn’t get some protein in my gut soon, my head would pound.

  My apartment might be sparse, but my food supply was ample. I didn’t give a shit about having things. I did, however, care about eating well—prison did that to a man. There was no telling what Nikki would or wouldn’t eat; girls were finicky that way. For all I knew, she was on some fad diet that kept her thin and wouldn’t eat gluten, or everything had to be keto-something. I rolled my eyes, contemplating the shit women put themselves through to maintain the public standard of attractive. Personally, I didn’t buy into it. Gorgeous came in lots of shapes and sizes, and it wasn’t just skin deep. The girls at the club were proof of that.

  Eggs were probably safe. I couldn’t think of a any dietary restriction, other than being a vegetarian or a vegan, that prevented someone from consuming omelets. And if either of those were words she’d use to describe herself, there was nothing I could do anyhow…even cereal required milk. As I stared at the vegetables I’d pulled from the drawer, it dawned on me, there wasn’t a single thing I knew about this girl.

  “I eat them all…if that’s what you’re wondering.”

  Startled, I swung my body around to the sound of her voice. It was a hair deeper than last night and just a tad raspy this morning. Seductive. “You could double as a ninja if your night job doesn’t pay off.” My heart still raced from her unexpected arrival.

  Nikki stood at the bar and folded her arms on top of it. “I’ll keep that in mind.” A sly grin tipped her lips. It was seductive in a “fuck you” sort of way. Cute.

  “What about bacon?”

  She narrowed her eyes as though she had to consider the question. “Who doesn’t eat bacon?” Or maybe she’d had to consider why I’d asked.

  I shrugged. “I take it you’re not overly obsessed about what goes into your mouth?” As soon as it came out, I realized the double entendre and silently cringed.

  Nikki hadn’t missed it either, but thankfully, she laughed. A glorious sound that bubbled in her chest before it worked its way up her throat and passed her cherry-red lips. “Not when it comes to food, no. When you grow up poor, you eat whatever is served, or you starve.” She had that right.

  I nodded, unsure of what else to say.

  “Do you mind if I take a shower?” Light through the window hit her navy eyes at just the right angle, and it was as though they glowed from behind. Suddenly, the deep blue transformed into a sapphire that sparkled. She fidgeted at the bar, and I wondered where her insecurity came from. It had appeared quickly, and Nikki remained uncomfortable.

  “Not at all. Towels are under the sink. How long do you need?”

  Nikki cocked her head as though she found my question strange.

  I pointed to the skillet. “Omelets suck when they’re cold.”

  Her teeth snuck out and pulled her bottom lip in. When she released it, I swore I heard it pop. “Ten minutes?” She said it as though it were a question and not an answer. “Any chance I could borrow another T-shirt and shorts?” She scrunched her nose in the cutest display of disgust. “I’m afraid these are kind of ripe…you know, with sweat from the club.”

  The girl couldn’t stink if she were sprayed by a skunk, but if she wanted more of my clothes, I would certainly oblige. Seeing her engulfed in my T-shirt and my boxers barely hanging onto her hips, my cock jumped between my legs. I pressed my front against the kitchen cabinets to ensure she didn’t witness my reaction to her pert nipples tenting the cotton covering them. This girl would be the death of me if I didn’t get this shit under control.

  “Yeah, sure. In the dresser.” I pointed toward the bedroom, like there was another dresser hiding somewhere. “Help yourself.”

  Nikki eyed me for a beat, and then she turned away. Even under the baggy boxers, her ass swayed with the precision of a finely tuned clock. My hands ached to pull her body flush to mine, chest to chest, waist to waist, just so I could cup her butt cheeks in my palms and rub her against my hard dick. As soon as the bathroom door closed, I let out the breath I held, sighed louder than I should, and ran my fingers through my hair. It was nothing more than lust, yet the pull was as great as what I imagined drugs would be—that addiction that couldn’t be cured and cost people their lives. Nikki was that potent.

  Once the water started running, I pulled bacon from the fridge and a couple of frying pans from the cabinet. I started a fresh pot of coffee and prayed the caffeine would jolt me out of this sex-crazed fantasy I had building. This girl was more than just pussy, and anything more than pussy was off limits. I didn’t do relationships, and I could almost guarantee this chick didn’t do one-night stands.

  Even if I hadn’t heard the shower turn off, I would have known the moment she opened the door. The scent of Irish Spring and lemon shampoo overrode the bacon frying on the stove and the coffee in the pot. If I smelled that good every time I washed up, it was no wonder women flocked to me.

  It was intoxicating.

  “Something smells amazing,” she cooed.

  I didn’t need to turn around to know exactly where she stood. My place was small. If she weren’t right next to me, she was right behind me. I didn’t own a blow dryer which meant her hair remained wet, and she didn’t have any makeup with her, so her face was clean. I didn’t have the willpower to take her in like that and not try to take her to bed. The bacon would burn, the eggs wouldn’t be worth a shit, and the coffee would be cold—it was better to focus on the task before me.

  I finished what I was doing, flipped the two omelets on top of themselves, and then grabbed plates. I didn’t typically have visitors, and it dawned on me that she might not want to sit on the floor to eat. When I faced her, her lip was drawn precariously between her front teeth where she carefully gnawed on it. Her eyes were wide with what first appeared to be curiosity until I realized it was apprehension.

  There I stood, two plates loaded down with more food than this girl probably consumed in a week, much less one meal. “What’s wrong?”

  When she opened her mouth, her bottom lip plumped up and begged to be sucked. “Have you heard from anyone?”

  I hadn’t thought beyond my dick since I woke, nor had I bothered to check my phone. “I haven’t looked.”

  Nikki adjusted her weight from foot to foot in nervous anticipation. “Could you?”

  The last thing I wanted to do was deal with Chase or Jesse, yet I couldn’t stand the way her forehead creased when her brows furrowed. The clear blue I’d seen in her eyes earlier had dulled to a depressed grey, and I’d give anything to see the gem tone again. “Yeah.” I set the plates on the counter, handed her a fork, and went looking for my phone.

  I’d never plugged it in last night, and when I realized it still sat in the kitchen, I noted the battery had died. I held it up. “It’s dead.” As much as I wanted to pretend I had zero concern over the situation, it would be a lie. “Eat. I’ll grab my charger.”

  I hadn’t been gone long. It didn’t take an exorbitant amount of time to walk ten steps to the bedroom, grab the plug, and return. But Nikki hadn’t done more than pick at the food in front of her. “There’s no need to worry. If anyone catches hell, it’ll be me; not you.” I didn’t really believe that, but I refused to acknowledge it to Nikki. My confidence waned with each hour that had passed since last night without a word from one of the Silvanos.

  Yet, for whatever reason, she trusted me and gently nodded. Her lips wrapped around a forkful of eggs, and all I could think about was it being my dick instead. She ate quietly and without making eye contact.

  “Is this some sick game?” Had the apartment not been dead silent, I doubt I would have heard her.

  My fork rattled on the plate when I set it down, and I wiped
my mouth with a paper towel before answering. “What do you mean?”

  Nikki waved her hand. “This. Are you guys just fucking with me? Teaching me a lesson?”

  “I don’t follow.” I really didn’t. I wasn’t trying to be coy.

  My eyes trailed her throat as she swallowed hard. Even in her distress, everything she did was elegant. Girls from Glendale Heights didn’t look like Nikki, much less carry themselves the way she did. Despite her crass mouth, her demeanor was refined.

  “U21.”

  She’d have to paint a clearer picture than that if she actually expected an answer. I raised my brows and waved my hand in a circle to ask her for more without talking through a mouth full of food. Nikki tugged on her bottom lip again, and I quickly realized it was a nervous habit—one she needed to break unless she wanted me to chew on it for her.

  “Ugh.” Her shoulders sagged. “I’ve heard about girls being passed around. And after Jesse made his offer, I just… I don’t know. Are you next in line?”

  I nearly spit out my food but managed to catch it with my hand covering my mouth as I choked and coughed. “Excuse me?” I half laughed, but there was no doubting her seriousness. “Why would you think that?”

  “There’s no other logical explanation for you stepping in last night. I could’ve handled Sam.”

  I finished chewing and wiped off my hands. “I don’t have any affiliation with Sam.”

  Her brows dipped, and her nose crinkled. “I’m confused.”

  Clearly, we both were. “I’m not a member, Nikki.”

  She set down her silverware and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. From across the counter, Nikki peered up at me through dark lashes. “How? I didn’t think anyone ever got out. At least, not alive.”

  “They don’t once they join.” The coffee burned on its way down as I took a larger gulp than intended. “I never joined.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not possible. I’ve seen you with them. Chase is your best friend. You’re connected to them, and you stood up to Sam like Jesse had your number on speed dial.” Her teeth snagged her bottom lip again.

  This time, I reached up and pulled it free. “You’re going to have to stop that shit.” I didn’t give her a chance to ask questions since there was no way in hell I’d give her an honest answer—not about that. “You already know where I grew up. Chase and I have been friends since we were babies. By default, yes, I’m close to his family. I am not, however, a sanctioned Union member.”

  “Then how does Jesse know how to reach you?”

  I couldn’t have stopped the chuckle even if I’d wanted to. “That man’s been ratting me out to my parents since I was three. I can’t tell you how many times he bent me over his knee and smacked the hell out of me for shit I did as a kid.”

  The skeptical glance Nikki shot my direction told me she didn’t buy a word of it. I hadn’t planned to give her anything personal, but I also hadn’t anticipated any of this happening. And I sure as fuck didn’t expect to be waiting on Jesse Silvano to reach out. Yet, there was something about this chick that kept luring me in, causing me to do things I ordinarily wouldn’t—such as hunting her down at a strip club and whisking her away like a thief in the night.

  Nikki wouldn’t be satisfied until she had a full-blown account of my connection. It was easy to forget that she was younger than I was and didn’t know the same people, even though they roamed the same streets. I took a step back and leaned against the counter. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss a single twitch of her eye or possible sneer of her lip. If this girl judged me, I needed to be fully aware.

  “Chase and I have been best friends since diapers, but we had different values. I wanted things Chase didn’t care about—like college, getting out of Dacon. I knew early on, the only way out was an education. If I didn’t get a full scholarship, I was destined to stay in this shithole town just like everyone else in Glendale Heights. My parents didn’t have two nickels to rub together to help, so I was on my own to make it happen.”

  She blinked and stared at me intensely. I couldn’t read her expression, so I didn’t try.

  “I kept my distance from the streets. Kept my nose in books and my feet on the soccer field. One way or another, I had to have a full ride—academic or athletic. I made sure I’d get one of the two.”

  Nikki’s snicker stopped me. “Sorry, I just don’t see you as academia or team orientated.” She stilled her laughter when she realized I hadn’t found humor in it. “Come on, Ryker. You have to admit, the tattoos are a little off-putting, and you’re kind of scary.”

  Maybe they were. At the point I’d started getting them, I didn’t give a shit. My life had been destroyed, and there was no going back. “I didn’t always have ink.”

  “I’m sorry.” She put her hand over her heart and batted her lashes, although I was rather certain she wasn’t aware she’d done it. “Go on. I’ll hush.”

  “My senior year, I’d been awarded the soccer scholarship I needed to the University of Illinois. It wasn’t as far away as I’d hoped, but I had other feelers out, too. I hadn’t committed to that school, but I knew I had a ticket out. I kept my nose clean. Did everything I was supposed to do…”

  “I feel a but coming.”

  “Chase had never been kept out of the loop. He’d known my intentions since we were little. When he officially became a member—other than just by being related to Jesse and Joey—I made it clear that I didn’t want any part of it. He and his pops always respected it. They never even encouraged me. Honestly, I got the feeling Pops wanted more for me, too.”

  I hated thinking back to that night—the night that changed everything. The night that stole my freedom and gave me a different identity. “I shouldn’t have been there. I had walked home from a game on a Friday night, and Chase rode by. When he stopped to offer me a ride, I recognized the guys in the car. I waved him off, but he insisted. I had another mile or so to walk, and it was dark and cold.”

  “You thought, what the hell, right? This is my best friend offering to take me home.” She didn’t make eye contact with me. It was as if she were speaking from personal experience and not speculating about my history.

  “Basically. Two blocks before we got to my apartment, the guy driving pulled off to this run-down house on Fourth Avenue. I don’t think I would have fared any better in the car than I did by going inside.” I closed my eyes and remembered the day like it was yesterday. The house stunk of stale pot and cigarettes, and there wasn’t a globe on the light in the living room, leaving the bulb exposed and a harsh glow that filtered through the haze of smoke. “No sooner had I closed the door than the sound of wood splintering behind me had me on the ground. I immediately dropped to my stomach with my hands over my head.”

  Her jaw hung slack in dismay when I opened my eyes. “Sting?”

  My head bobbed, and I replayed the windows exploding. Men in black tactile gear surrounded the house and came in through every opening they could find, and they created others. Crystal clear sounds of breaking glass haunted me for years, almost as much as the hail of gunfire that followed. “Yeah. Chase and I were the only two from the neighborhood who walked out alive that night. And we did it in handcuffs, followed by kilos of cocaine.”

  Nikki’s head turned slowly from side to side in utter disbelief. Her eyes were so wide, the whites overtook the hues of blue, and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear she fought off tears; although, I wasn’t certain what for. “You lost everything.”

  “Yeah. Including my freedom.”

  She gasped and again clutched at her chest. “But you didn’t do anything wrong!”

  “Wrong place at the wrong time. My association with the Silvanos was what they wanted. And they thought they could buy me out. You wouldn’t believe all the shit they offered to get me to sing.”

  “Who? The cops?”

  “Feds, yeah.”

  Nikki shook her head and chuckled. “Clearly, they didn’t really understand
the connection then.” She got it. Without me telling her, Nikki understood that had I squawked, I’d be dead.

  “They tried. Hell, my lawyer even tried. For weeks. He begged me to give them the information they wanted to take the Silvano family out.”

  She’d quit eating and now rested her head in her hands with her elbows on the counter, completely enraptured. “How long did they put you away?”

  “Seven years, but I got released to a halfway house four years in. At twenty-one, the world had lost its luster, and I’d lost my drive. I found a work program that apprenticed mechanics, and I’ve been with the same auto shop since I was twenty-one.”

  “That makes you, what?” Nikki squinted and stared at the ceiling while she did the math in her head. “Twenty-six-ish?” Then she returned her gaze to me and waited for my answer.

  “Yeah. Speaking of age, is it even legal for you to be on Swank’s stage?”

  When she rolled her eyes, it was almost as alluring as her biting her lip. “I’m nineteen.”

  At least she wouldn’t send me back to prison. She was still far too young for me to be thinking the things that crossed my mind. Admiring the crease under her butt made visible by my boxers or the swell of her breast was dangerous. She might be legal, but she was still young.

  Nikki had suddenly become uncomfortable again. While she chewed the inside of her lip—which didn’t affect me quite the same way the outside did—she shifted, repeatedly. A question built on the tip of her tongue, and I waited for her to gather the courage to spit it out or swallow it completely. While she considered it, I stepped up to my plate and consumed lukewarm eggs and cold bacon.