Dear Diamond

by Walls, Stephie

  “Then why don’t you go back to school?”

  I pulled away, not understanding why he didn’t get it. I snatched up my plate from the counter and scraped the food into the sink without answering his question.

  “Nikki?” The hurt in his voice when he said my name made my eyes sting with unshed tears.

  I faced the wall and clenched my teeth.

  “Babe?” His hands snaked around my waist, and he planted his chin on my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

  “Teaching requires a four-year degree, Ryker. I don’t have a car, even if I got into a community college. I certainly don’t have money to further my education.” My body slumped into his embrace as I acknowledged the life I had been born into.

  There had been a time Ryker had a similar dream, a time when he’d wanted something more than Dacon could offer. Even if I’d had to draw him a picture, he understood the heartache of not being able to make it happen. Those types of resources weren’t available to everyone, despite what the one percent elite tried to postulate.

  “Then let’s figure out how to make it happen,” he whispered into my ear just before he planted a kiss to my temple. “I have money in savings.” He chuckled, and when he moved his head, I caught him looking around. “Clearly, I haven’t spent a lot on décor.”

  I couldn’t stop the giggle that floated through the air. And when I turned toward him, not only did he reward me with a smile on his lips, but it was the first time I’d seen it reach his eyes. It was beautiful. “You want to help me go to school?”

  Ryker took my hand and lifted it to his lips. He might not have intended to kiss my left ring finger, but he did, and I noticed. “I want to give you the world, Nikki. Or at least as much of it as I have to offer.”

  “You hardly know me…” My voice was barely audible, but he’d heard me.

  He tipped his forehead to mine, and the swirls of honey seemed to open up, fully enveloping his irises, changing them from a warm chocolate to a smooth whiskey. “I know I love you.”

  My heart stopped.

  My breath hitched.

  And my knees went weak.

  I didn’t think Ryker Davis had ever told his mom he loved her, much less a girl like me. Ryker was the kind of guy who didn’t need people, and he certainly didn’t get close to them. Loving them seemed out of the realm of possibility.

  My head spun with the gravity of those words, but my soul didn’t need to be convinced. From the moment I’d seen Ryker, there was something unexplainable there. And for once in my life, I decided to let go and be free.

  “I love you, too.”

  17

  Ryker

  Four Years Later

  “I’d like to tell you not to be a stranger, but you’re one of the few I doubt I’ll ever see again.” My parole officer had been with me since I’d gotten out of prison years ago, and today was my last meeting.

  “Not gonna happen, man.” I had never been in trouble before that raid with Chase, and I would never be in trouble again. I couldn’t even smell Union 21 anymore they were so far away from my daily life.

  Nikki would have me by the balls if I ever got arrested again, and there was no way in hell I’d ever cross that woman. I’d only thought I was in control when we were younger, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Looking back, claiming a girl who wasn’t mine was the best decision I’d ever made. She’d turned me into a man I was proud to be: her provider, her lover, and her best friend. And sooner rather than later, she was going to add father to that list.

  As I left my PO’s office, I couldn’t help but think of all that would happen in the next couple of days. Nikki would graduate tomorrow, our son was due next week, and tonight, I planned to finally put a ring on her finger.

  I’d known how much she wanted to get married, even though she’d never complained that I hadn’t popped the question. Nikki wasn’t that girl who hinted at shit or beat around the bush. She accepted our relationship the way it was, and she loved me for me. And I had refused to ask her to commit her life to mine when the state still owned my freedom. But that obligation had just ended, and I was now a uninhibited man. No more court-ordered parole, no more monthly meetings, no more mandatory drug tests. I was free to leave the state for the first time in my adult life, and I could take my wife and son with me. Which was exactly what I planned to do.

  It had taken monumental effort to keep Nikki from finding out that I’d purchased a ring. I’d had to work side jobs behind her back during lunch, before and after work, and on the weekends to earn cash to put toward the piece of jewelry. That was hard to do without arousing suspicion—the last thing I cared to do was make my girl believe I was doing something I shouldn’t. I had the final payment in my pocket, and when I pushed through the jewelry store doors, the sales lady who had helped me pick out the ring two years ago, beamed.

  I thought she was as proud of me as I was of myself. Over the years, I’d made payments as often as I could, even if it was only twenty bucks. In the process, Tessa had learned bits and pieces of mine and Nikki’s story until she had put together the entire crazy puzzle. She also knew we had a son on the way, and I had cut this proposal close.

  Tessa clapped quietly and smiled from ear to ear as I approached. “Hey, Ryker.”

  “Hey, Tessa. I bet you’ll be glad to be done with me.” I pulled the money from my pocket and handed it over. “That’s all of it.”

  She waved her hand at me, dismissing my comment. “Nonsense. When’s Nikki due?” she asked as she counted out the bills and entered the payment into the computer system.

  “Next week.”

  Tessa printed out a receipt and handed it to me along with a gift bag containing a little navy-blue box. “She still doesn’t have a clue?” The woman smiled so much I wondered if her cheeks ever hurt or if she used Vaseline to create an effortless grin.

  “If she does, she hasn’t said anything.”

  And Nikki had a mouth, so that was unlikely. If she had any idea, Nikki would pester the shit out of me for details. And if she ever found out just how much I’d spent, she’d flip the fuck out.

  Tessa held out her hand to shake mine. “Good luck, Ryker.” Tessa and I had come a long way since the first time I’d walked into this uppity jewelry store covered in tattoos. She looked like she thought I might rob her when we first met. “Bring her by sometime, so I can meet her and the baby. I know she’ll love the ring.” She winked at me, and I assured her we’d stop by before we moved at the end of the summer.

  With a wave, I turned and left. I didn’t have time for idle chitchat. I’d been waiting to ask this question for far too long, and I wanted to do it now. Before I got on the Harley, I ditched the gift bag and stuffed the velvet box into my pocket. The bulge in my jeans was uncomfortable, although I doubted it had anything to do with its physical size and more to do with its emotional implication. I’d never wanted anything more than I wanted Nikki to carry my last name.

  Riding home, I tried to remember the words I had planned out to say. I wasn’t exactly poetic, and I certainly wasn’t the picture of romantic. Nikki wasn’t into grand gestures, so proposing publicly hadn’t seemed like a good idea, yet now, asking her to be my wife in our tired-ass apartment—now filled with furniture and pictures and all things Nikki—didn’t seem suitable, either. But I didn’t have a backup plan. I hadn’t considered anything other than getting to this point. I’d spent two years making sure I had that ring paid for by the time I got off parole, and that was where my plans had stopped.

  When I pulled into our complex, I slowed down as I took the turns around the other buildings. My pulse raced, and when the SUV came into view, my heart pounded so loudly that I couldn’t hear anything else. The lights were on in the living room, but the blinds were closed. Even though I couldn’t see inside, I kept my eyes trained on that window as I parked and got off the bike.

  I’d no sooner stuck my key into the deadbolt than the door swung open, and a panic-stricken Nikki stood i
n front of me. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she cradled her stomach…our son.

  “Babe, what’s wrong?” I tossed my helmet on the floor and grabbed my keys from the door while trying to figure out what the hell was going on. “Nikki, talk to me.” Raising my voice didn’t help an already tense situation.

  She doubled over—well, that was relative—and wailed in what I had to assume was pain. The instant I got close enough, she latched onto my forearm, and her nails dug into my skin. I wouldn’t be surprised to find blood when she let me go. Instead of answering, she let out a spine-tingling cry I hoped to never hear again. The sound reached inside me, shredded my soul, and tore at every fiber of my being.

  I grabbed her face, forcing her to make eye contact. The moment I saw the navy blue, I realized it wasn’t fear; it was determination. Nikki was in labor—and pain. “Babe, you have to tell me what to do.”

  She nodded but didn’t let go of her stomach or my arm. Hopefully, the doctor could put in stitches to seal the gaping wounds she had most certainly left behind while delivering our baby safely into the world. If not, I didn’t think I was in danger of bleeding out. I would just have five half-moon shaped scars in the ink to remind us of this moment—my own personal war wound.

  Nikki pointed toward the bedroom. We hadn’t planned a home birth, so I had to assume that meant she needed something.

  “Is your bag in the bedroom?”

  Thankfully, she’d had hers and one for the baby packed for a couple weeks. Otherwise, she’d end up with a pair of my basketball shorts and one of my T-shirts—underwear was unnecessary—and our child would come home in whatever the hospital put him in. I wouldn’t have a clue what the hell to do or pack.

  “Yeah…” Pain mixed with exhaustion resonated through that one word. Nikki released her stomach and grabbed onto the counter, but as I tried to move, she got hysterical. “Where are you going?” Her knuckles had turned white in the grip she maintained to keep her upright.

  “To get the bag.”

  She shook her head adamantly.

  “Do you need to go to the hospital?” I asked, trying to reason with a woman who might have a baby at any moment and wasn’t thinking rationally.

  Her lids narrowed, and her brow furrowed. “Do you want to deliver this baby on that old-ass carpet?” She really wasn’t the devil. She just sounded like it. “If not, then yes, we need to go to the hospital.” Another contraction hit, and again her nails bit at my skin. “Now.”

  I cringed but kept my mouth shut about the pain. I was fairly certain it was nothing in comparison to what she currently experienced. There was no need to go tit for tat. “Then I need to get the bags, so we can leave.”

  I could tell by the expression on Nikki’s face that she was about to bypass banshee and head straight for irrational. If I didn’t make something happen quickly, it wouldn’t be good for either of us. As that contraction subsided, she released her talons from my flesh, and I ran back to the bedroom to grab her stuff. I had no sooner returned than she started to say something and got cut off by another wave of agony.

  “How far apart are the contractions?” I didn’t know shit about childbirth, and I hadn’t listened during most of the classes we’d attended. But I did know, contractions this close together meant we didn’t have much time to get out of here.

  Nikki straightened her spine and stood up. She took a deep breath, and calm washed over her face. Her irises wavered between navy blue and warm grey. If we’d had time between now and the arrival of our first child, I’d haul her ass to the bed and fuck the hell out of her. I wasn’t sure when she was sexiest, but swollen with my kid turned me the hell on. “Couple minutes.”

  “Jesus, Nikki. Why didn’t you call me? Or an ambulance? What if we don’t make it in time? I don’t know how to deliver a baby.” Fear did strange things to people. It made me a bumbling worrywart who apparently liked to bitch more than act.

  She reached for the door. “Can we discuss what I should have done later? Right now, we need to go. This kid isn’t going to wait much longer.”

  Nikki had been right. Graham hadn’t waited much longer to make his appearance. About an hour after we had arrived at the hospital, we finally met the little man we’d been desperate to see for the last nine months—who would control our lives for the next eighteen years—and he was perfect.

  The three of us were huddled in Nikki’s hospital bed. She had tucked herself into my side and nestled Graham into her arms. From where I sat, I had a perfect view of everything I loved yet never expected to have. The only thing that could make it any better was knowing it was permanent. It probably wouldn’t have been ideal for anyone else, and hell, Nikki may hate me for not making more of a production out of it, but either way, I stuck my hand into my pocket.

  She focused on our son, yet I knew the moment she saw the diamond that glittered in the white-gold setting. I heard the gasp seconds before she moved her fingers to her mouth. When she pulled back enough for me to see her eyes, radiant blues and deep greys feathered from her pupils, and tears pooled, threatening to cascade down her cheeks. I hated to see her cry, but this was when she was the most beautiful…when she was vulnerable.

  I licked my lips and tried to say all the things I’d rehearsed in my head a thousand times over the last two years. My mind went blank. I was a simple man, and I always had been. This was no different. She’d loved me when I didn’t have a stitch of furniture, and I hoped like hell she never needed more than the minimalism I offered. “Nikki, I love you. Will you marry me?”

  The tears didn’t stand a chance at refusing to fall. She blinked and nodded and choked on the emotions that overwhelmed her. And then she let me put a ring on her finger.

  Jesse had been right, she was a gem. In a world full of rhinestones, she was a precious jewel. And while I hated to think about her ever having spent a single day on Swank’s stage, Nikki would always be my diamond.

  Nikki missed graduation the following day, but I didn’t think there was a single piece of her that minded. Although, when my parents left the hospital, I couldn’t help but notice she seemed a bit somber. It was possible that she was tired or that the glow of giving birth had started to wane, but I still needed to check.

  “Babe, you okay?” I had just thought pregnancy was sexy. Seeing Nikki holding my son was hands down the hottest thing I’d ever witnessed. I could stare at her with Graham for hours and never tire of it.

  She smiled as she gazed at Graham, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I guess I had thought my mom would stop by.”

  Nikki had tried several times over the last few years to get help for her mom, but Nikki couldn’t force Tabitha into treatment, regardless of the number of carrots she had dangled in front of her. Nikki had believed the birth of our son—her mother’s only grandchild—would get Tabitha to surface, even if it was just briefly. I’d done my best to keep her from getting her hopes up without being blunt, but clearly, a child never wants to stop believing in their parents, not even as adults.

  I didn’t have words to fix her disappointment. All I could do was hold her and let her know that she wasn’t alone, and she never would be. In a little less than three months, Nikki, Graham, and I would be leaving Dacon, Illinois. Nikki had accepted a position teaching kindergarten in Chicago, and I had found a job at a dealership.

  With Nikki at my side and freedom under my belt, we were stronger than ever. And we’d both made our dreams come true. Soon, Glendale Heights would be nothing more than a distant memory in our past, and there would be no more reminders of Union 21. I’d severed my ties with Chase and the Silvanos four years ago.

  I didn’t plan to ever look back.

  THE END

  Acknowledgments

  It’s always a challenge to remember everyone who helped make a book possible because the truth is that all the people in my life play an important part in my success, from friends to family, they all have different roles that if not fulfilled would prevent me ever finish
ing a book.

  It has been an exceptionally challenging year, but during the last twelve months three incredible women have cheered me on and kept me going. Leddy, Linda, and Carina, you are all amazing creatures who bring beautiful light to my world when it tends to want to go dark. Thank you for your support but most of all for your friendships.

  Kristie, you’re one of my favorite whores, although you never let me pay you for anything you do, so does that just make you a slut??? HAHA. Any who, I love your face and your sarcastic wit. Thanks for being the greatest bestie a girl could ever have.

  To the teams at Foreward PR, Give Me Books, Enticing Journey, and Wordsmith Publicity, let’s be real, without all of you, my books would never reach the hands of bloggers and readers. You all work tirelessly behind the scenes, and I am forever grateful.

  Readers and bloggers…without you, my books are just twenty-six letters rearranged a bazillion different times to form tens of thousands of meaningless words. You breathe life into my characters with every chapter you read. Thank you for your support!

  Most importantly, little M. You are the only person who has been with me since the start of this journey, and you’ve always been my biggest fan. You are my heart and my inspiration…even when you test my patience. I love you!

  About the Author

  Stephie is a forty-year-old mother to one of the feistiest preteens to ever walk. They live on the outskirts of Greenville, South Carolina, where they house three cats and two dogs in their veritable zoo.

  She has a serious addiction to anything Coach and would live on Starbucks if she could get away with it. She’s slightly enamored with Charlie Hunnam and Sons of Anarchy and is a self-proclaimed foodie.