My Heart Will Find Yours

by Linda LaRoque

Face twisting, he bellowed like a mad bull and slammed his fist into one of the studs holding up the hayloft. It vibrated and hay and dust rained down on Texanna’s head. She jumped up and moved from under the dust cloud. Coughing, she beat at her clothes and hair.

  “You’re my wife, by God, and you stood before Him and the people of this town and promised to love, honor, and obey me.” He snorted. “You’ve done nothing but cause one problem after another, and this time you stepped over the line.” His voice rose to a roar. “I ought to charge you with forging the town marshal’s signature, and lock you up.”

  “I did no such thing.”

  “What—falsify your marriage vows or put Dyson on that damn telegram?”

  She meant her marriage vows. Maybe she missed the one about obeying, but… “I didn’t falsify your name. If you recall my name is Dyson now and I—”

  “Don’t give me that, woman. You knew the sheriff would assume I’d sent that telegram.” He grabbed her shoulders and shook. Her head rattled around on her shoulders. “Do you realize your selfish behavior got a young deputy shot?”

  Texanna felt the breath leave her body. Oh God, no. She hadn’t meant for anyone to get hurt. She stifled her sob with her fist and shook her head.

  “I’m sorry, I never intended—”

  “I’m tired of hearing that. What were you thinking to achieve?”

  “I…I’d hoped they’d…catch the gang, and…and they wouldn’t be able to rob the bank.” She turned her back to keep from seeing the disdain on Royce’s face. “Did they catch them?”

  “No, they were ambushed, and a young man almost lost his life. Your fault, Texanna. All your fault.”

  His words were like blows hitting her back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

  “Well, I’m sorry too. I’m sorry you didn’t trust me enough to tell me you knew the gang’s whereabouts, sorry you have so little regard for what you know I’d disapprove of, and the stain you’ve placed on my name and reputation as Marshal of Waco, particularly with my fellow peace officers.”

  Texanna whirled and quaked before him not from fear, but from regret. She’d sent the telegram without thinking it completely through. Damn, damn, damn! She should have put an anonymous signature on the telegram. Hand outstretched to him, she pleaded. “Royce…oh, God. I didn’t realize.”

  “Don’t touch me right now. I’ve sworn not to hurt you, but you’re tempting fate. I’d like to take a riding crop to your butt.”

  She’d never seen him so angry. “I’m sorry, Royce.”

  He raked his hands through his hair. “Yeah, well, I’m sorry too. I thought you could be the wife I needed, a strong woman to stand by me and build a life with, but at every turn you go against my wishes.” He shook his head. “I’m not so sure anymore.”

  “You don’t mean that. Please, I said I’m sorry. What can I do to make things right?” He couldn’t be serious. He wanted to hurt her, punish her for what she’d done.

  “I think you’ve done enough. For the next few days, you will not leave this place.” She started to say something, but he reached out and grabbed the front of her dress, yanking her forward. His face an inch from hers, he growled, “Did you hear me?”

  She nodded and choked on her sobs. He shoved her away from him. “Get in the house. I can’t stand the sight of you right now.”

  Blinded by her tears, Texanna turned and ran. She tripped and fell face down in the dirt but scrambled to her feet and continued toward the house. Oh God, he’d had such hate and disgust on his face. She’d ruined everything, killed his love for her.

  She stumbled inside, carried water up to the guest room, washed, and put on her gown. Curled up in a ball under the sheet, she bit back her sobs in fear of waking Garrett.

  Royce watched the spunky woman he loved so much run from him in fear. His stomach twisted with hurt and regret, and when she fell in the dirt, it took all his resolve to remain rooted to the spot. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and kiss away her hurts, but he couldn’t. She had to learn not to interfere in his business. She’d meant well—he knew that, but a man could have died. If she’d just told him about the hideout, he’d have organized a posse large enough to apprehend them. But no, she was trying to protect him, didn’t have enough faith in his ability as a lawman. That hurt his pride and fueled his anger.

  He took the lantern from the pole and walked slowly toward the house. The lamp wasn’t lit in their bedroom, but the one sitting on the kitchen table still shone brightly. He put out the lantern, left it on the back porch, and carried the coal oil lamp upstairs with him. At the top of the stairs, he paused and stared at the closed spare bedroom door. So that’s how she planned to handle the situation—pout and avoid him. That was fine. She’d learn it wouldn’t gain her any sympathy from him.

  Tired to the bone, he sat down in the chair to remove his boots and then stood to shuck out of his clothes. Without turning back the covers, he lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

  He’d exaggerated the impact of the telegram. His job wasn’t in jeopardy, but his pride damn sure was. No way would he let her out of his life. They belonged together, and if she tried to leave, he’d love her senseless or lock her up and hide the key. He’d let her suffer and think about what she’d done tonight. Tomorrow, they’d talk again and come to some agreement.

  ****

  The sun was up when Texanna woke. Stretching, she blinked and looked at her surroundings. The guest room? Then she remembered the events of last night—Royce’s harsh words and her utter shame. Would he send her packing today? Is that why he’d not woken her to cook breakfast? Maybe he just couldn’t stand to look at her anymore. She dressed, made the beds, and went downstairs to find a note on the kitchen table telling her Garrett was at Aggie’s. That’s it, no ‘have a nice day,” or anything? He didn’t even sign his name.

  She went outside to see Strawberry, but the pasture and barn were empty. Even Josie was gone. Dread weighed on her heart. Was he trying to keep her here, or was he sending a silent message? Well, he’d forgotten she could run, and it wouldn’t take her long to jog into town. But she wouldn’t. She’d do what he said.

  On the walk over to Aggie’s, she pondered Royce’s words from last night. He was wrong. She had all the faith in the world in him, knew he could take care of himself, her, and Garrett. Why then didn’t she tell him about the hideout instead of wiring the sheriff of Limestone County? God only knows why she didn’t. She had a lot to make up for—if he’d let her. She could be an obedient wife. It might go against the grain, but she’d give it a good shot. Lord, she loved the man and couldn’t live without him.

  Garrett eyed her with caution all day. If he asked again, “Are you okay, Ma?” one more time she’d scream. By late afternoon, she searched for a way to keep the boy from following her around like a puppy. He needed cheering up, distracting.

  “Do you have a checker game, Garrett?”

  “Pa does. It’s in the parlor in that little table by the window. Gots cards too.”

  “Really? Do you know how to play poker?”

  “Nah, Pa won’t teach me. Never has time.”

  When Royce rode up that evening, she and Garrett were on the front porch with a competitive game of twenty-one going. The boy was either good or lucky and had a large pile of matchsticks on his side of the table. Garrett yelled, “Pa, Pa, we’re playing poker, and I’m winnin’.”

  Royce drew Samson up at the porch and grinned down at the boy. “Is that right?” His eyes drifted to Texanna.

  She stood and smoothed the front of her dress. “Supper will be ready in a minute. I’m afraid we forgot the time.”

  “No hurry.” He reached for Garrett. “Come here, squirt. Help me put Samson away.” Garrett stood on the rail, and Royce lifted him in front of him on the saddle. He glanced at Texanna as she picked up the cards and matches. “We’ll wash up before coming in.”

  She nodded and turned to go inside. His heart lurched at her lack of spunk and
dejected manner. He turned Samson, and they headed for the barn.

  “Well sport, what’d you two do today?”

  “Ma moped around the house most of the day, but then all of a sudden she asked me about checkers. But we ended up playing poker instead. I like that game, Pa.”

  “You do? Looks like you’re pretty good at it too.”

  “I am. Ma says I’m a regular card sharp.”

  Heaven forbid, thought Royce. “You understand you only play cards with family. I don’t want you out gambling with friends. It’s a bad habit and can lead to all sorts of problems.”

  “Like what?”

  “Why do you think we have so many fights down at the saloons? Because people get to arguing about a game or someone cheats. Then somebody draws a gun or a knife, and a man gets hurt or killed.”

  “Okay, Pa. Only with family. You reckon Uncle Jason would play with me sometime?”

  “I imagine. But be careful. He cheats.” Royce gigged him in the side, and Garrett squealed with laughter.

  Royce watched as Texanna tried to smile during dinner, struggled to act normal for Garrett’s sake, but she wouldn’t look at him and jumped when he touched her. He grabbed her hand and squeezed, and saw the gleam of a tear in her eye.

  He helped her with the dishes while Garrett took the scraps out to the chickens. When he came back in swinging the tin pail, Royce rinsed it and sat it on the back porch.

  “Here, I want you to take this over to Aggie.” He handed over several bills of money. “Don’t stay long because it’ll be dark soon.”

  Garrett stuffed the money in his pocket and looked at him with concern etching his brow. “You and Ma aren’t going to argue again are you?”

  “No Son, we’re not. I love your ma, and adults do fuss on occasion.” He chucked him under the chin. “But they make up too. So make lots of noise when you come back. We might be kissing.”

  He grinned, and then muttered, “Yuck! I’ll holler before I come in. Sure don’t want to see no kissin’.” Royce didn’t miss the look of relief on the boy’s face.

  In the kitchen, Royce swooped Texanna into his arms and carried her to a rocker on the front porch. With her in his lap, he rocked them both as they sat quietly, her head nestled on his shoulder.

  “I love you, woman. But I won’t tolerate anymore of your interference. If you don’t trust me…”

  “I do trust you, Royce—with mine and Garrett’s lives, the lives of our future children. It was a stupid thing for me to do. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

  “You could’ve told me, and I’d have taken care of locating the gang.”

  “I know. Please tell me I’m forgiven.”

  “You’re forgiven, love.” His voice was gruff. “I know my words were harsh last night…you know I’d never let you leave or put you away from me. Ever. We belong together.” Hell, he’d take a strap to her before he’d let that happen. He squeezed her close, his hands smoothing over her back and hips. “Kiss me, sweetheart.”

  The kiss was sweet and tender. With his lips, he tried to sooth the hurt he’d inflicted and reassure her of his love. Thank God she wasn’t the type of woman to go around pouting and holding a grudge. When they drew apart, he held her and rocked, the rhythm music to his soul.

  “Royce?” Her breath teased his cheek.

  “Hmm?”

  “When are you going to trust me enough to tell me what happened in the war to give you such nightmares?”

  He stiffened at her words, but turned his face into her palm when she touched his cheek and kissed it.

  “I know you and Matthew fought for the Union, and I respect that, but as your wife, I think I should know the rest.”

  He took her hand, laid it over his heart, and covered it with his. His words were so soft. He barely heard them himself. “I know. I will, but not tonight.” He kissed her softly. “All right?”

  She dropped her forehead to his cheek. “Okay, but I’m going to hold you to it.”

  Out of the fading light they heard Garrett returning from Aggie’s. He was whistling loudly. At the back door, he hollered, “Hey Pa, Ma, I’m home,” before stomping into the kitchen.

  Texanna leaned back. “What on earth?”

  Royce whooped with laughter and called back. “We’re out front, Son.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  The next afternoon, Texanna stood at the sink looking out the window when Royce rode into the yard with Strawberry and Josie on a lead rope. She dropped the dishtowel and joined him in the barn. He’d put Josie in her stall, and now Garrett stood on a wooden box brushing her down. Strawberry nickered a greeting and nibbled at her hair as Texanna stroked her mane and hugged her neck. “I missed you, girl.” She watched Royce, busy unsaddling Sampson, grin at her enjoyment of the animal. She asked pointedly, “You sure you trust me with transportation on the property?”

  At his deep chuckle, she tossed her hair and went to the storage shelf to find another brush. “Honey, I didn’t believe the lack of a horse would keep you here. If I was really worried, I’d have assigned an armed guard to you. Or hide your rubber shoes.”

  “You wouldn’t dare!”

  Grinning like a jackass, he asked. “What? Take your sh—”

  “Oh, you brute. You know what I’m talking about—an armed guard.”

  “Whatever it takes, sweetheart, whatever it takes.” He dropped Samson’s saddle across a rail and walked toward her. Before she noticed the gleam in his eye, he caught her around the waist and tossed her on the hay in an empty stall. He landed beside her, threw his leg across hers as he drew her into his arms, and nuzzled her neck. “Mmmm, I’ve been thinking about this all day.”

  Texanna turned and curled her arms around his neck. Their mouths met in a sweet kiss of longing. She sighed with contentment as he stroked her back.

  He pushed to his feet and pulled her up, dusting the straw out of her hair and off her clothes. “Let’s get these horses bedded down. I’m starved.” He winked. “In more ways than one.”

  Garrett peeked over the top of Josie. “Pa, looks like she’s got new shoes.”

  “Yes, Son, she does. All three horses got new shoes while in town. Big Tom at the Blacksmith’s Shop shoed them himself.” Royce put Samson in his stall and gave him a bag of oats.

  Texanna eyed him suspiciously. She picked up Strawberry’s front hoof and looked at the new horseshoe.

  “Wished I could of watched him.” Garrett was in awe of the giant of a man.

  “Maybe next time.”

  Texanna snorted. “Did they really need new shoes, or were they just an excuse to keep me home?”

  He filled a bag of oats for each of the mares. “Why both, of course.”

  ****

  This was the last time Texanna would bring Garrett into town with her. July was almost over, and she didn’t want to take any chances on him being around when the Bass gang entered town. He would stay with Aggie where he’d be safe. She looked at Pearl’s son atop Josie and felt her heart twist with love. How it must have hurt to be unable to return to him.

  They stopped at the hardware store before going to see Royce. It didn’t take long to buy more framing material, canvas, and some paint. She’d finished Garrett’s portrait and needed additional colors for her self-portrait. While the clerk wrapped their purchases, Garrett went out onto the sidewalk to wait.

  When she stepped outside, she noticed him several stores down bent over scratching a mangy-looking dog. Heavy treads drew her attention and she looked in their direction. A burly cowboy covered in road dust and Lord knows what else, strode up the sidewalk. Over six-feet-tall and probably three-hundred-pounds, he sneered as people dodged out of his way. It was that awful man Bull Tate. Before she could call Garrett, the man backhanded him. “Get away from my dog, brat.” The boy flew through the air and landed in the dirt street.

  Texanna choked on her scream and rushed to Garrett’s side. She gasped as terror squeezed her lungs. She ran her hands over him to chec
k for broken bones. “Do you hurt anywhere?” He appeared unharmed, but the breath had been knocked from him.

  Garrett sobbed but shook his head.

  She hugged him. “It’s all right, Garrett, you’re okay.”

  The clerk joined her on the street. “We’ve sent for the marshal, ma’am. Bull Tate is worthless. I wish Royce would shoot the varmint and put us all out of our misery.”

  Texanna looked down the street. The man was a half a block away and hadn’t even looked back to see if he’d done any damage. Her jaw clenched, and her hands trembled as fury ripped through her. She turned to the clerk. Her voice shook as she spoke. “Please carry him inside. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  She stood. Her instincts told her to wait for Royce but rage and hatred said, “Kick that man’s ass.” She was on the man before she realized she’d taken off at a run. Lifting her feet, she flew through the air and landed between his shoulder blades. He hit the ground hard. She dropped and rolled before springing to her feet.

  “You sorry son-of-a-bitch. How dare you treat a child like that?” Frenzy kept her from remaining calm, and crying, she shrieked. “Get up, you…you…worthless sack of s…shit.”

  Before the words left Texanna’s mouth, he’d rolled to his feet and spit dirt from his mouth. “You bitch. I’m going to enjoy messing up that pretty face of yours.”

  “Come on, big man. It’s a shame you don’t have the balls to attack men your own size. You’re such a pussy you have to beat up women and children.”

  Texanna kicked her skirt out of her way. The damn thing slowed her down. Bull reddened and with a roar advanced. She managed to deliver two swing kicks, one to each side of his soccer ball-sized head. With each hit, his dirty hair flew out from his face. The big man shook his head and wiped blood from his mouth. He looked from his bloody hand back to her and grinned before coming at her again. Texanna swung her leg and connected with Bull’s dirty mug when his fist shot out and caught her jaw sending her flying backwards to land in the dirt on her ass. She rolled and tried to get up, but sparks danced in her head. Then darkness rose up and enveloped her.