He recognized how excited she sounded, more excited than she’d been in a long while, but all he could think about was fixing the clock. He fixated on one tiny cog that wasn’t connecting to any other cogs. What would’ve caused that to shift?
“Joel?”
It was then he realized what she had asked. “Ya, I think the lights will be fine.” Whatever Rose wanted, he would give it to her. What he most wanted to give her was complete ignorance about the annulment discussion. Would that be dishonest of him? He’d found the issue with the cog that wasn’t turning. The pivot was loose, and the cog had shifted.
“Something wrong?”
The excitement in her voice had died down, and he looked up. “Sorry. The clock isn’t working again.”
The timing had him spooked. It had quit when he lost Florence. But it wasn’t rational to feel this uptight over a timepiece.
Rose set the bags on the floor. “What did your Daed and that preacher want?”
He should’ve already thought about what he would tell her. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
The words weren’t coming to him. He put the pointed slant tweezers in the gap between two cogs. “Just needed to talk about some things Erma brought up to Daed.”
Silence. Joel tried to ease the cog into place, praying he was doing this right. What did he know about clock repair?
“That explains you being out here alone, mumbling to yourself. Did you make plans with them about working on the bedroom?”
“Not yet.” How was he going to keep such a secret from her? He had just opened up and told her how he felt, and now he had to hide the truth again? “It may need to wait. We have to consider the men’s schedules with it being Christmas in five days. And you and I haven’t even finished the big present for the children.”
It was mostly done, but he would need at least four more hours to complete it. He and Rose had made a two-story wooden barn, eighteen inches tall and two feet long, with a split-rail fence to create a barnyard. The doors and gates all opened, and he’d bought a set of beautifully carved horses, cows, and chickens from an Amish friend. The children would spend endless hours playing with it in the living room, especially in the long winter months. He treasured that kind of time with his family and Rose by his side. But what kind of tension would fill the coming evenings as he held back his father’s announcement?
The crinkling of paper drew him from his thoughts. Rose held out a box to him. “I got something for you. An early Christmas present.”
Joel took a breath and looked up from the clock. “Did you?”
She opened it and looped her slender fingers through a pair of silky black straps and then lifted a short, lacy gown from the box.
His heart cinched. She was being vulnerable and sweet. “I…uh…don’t know how to break this to you, but I don’t think it will fit me.”
Rose laughed. She lifted his chin, leaned down, and pressed her lips against his. Joel stood and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her, wishing this moment was free of secrets.
She lowered her head. “Wow.”
“Ya. Wow.” He should’ve told her sooner how he felt. Maybe then they wouldn’t be in this fix.
She rested her head on his chest.
“I love you, Rose.”
She shifted, putting her lips near his ear. “After the children are asleep, I could show you how well this fits me.”
Joel took a deep breath. What could he say? “Well…”
Rose pulled back, looking in his eyes, and he saw her confusion and unmistakable hurt. “You’re hesitant?”
“About us, no. I promise. I just feel I should finish the room. Our bedroom.” He tried to pull her back into the embrace.
“Okay.” Rose dropped the nightgown into the bag, leaving the box on the workbench. She gathered the other shopping bags and left without another word. Joel sat there alone with a broken clock and a box marked “Lavender’s.”
He focused on the workings of the clock again, picking up the tweezers and putting them right where the problem cog was. He applied gentle pressure, but the cog didn’t move. Frustrated, he put some muscle into making the cog connect properly.
The cog snapped and flew out, leaving a gap where Joel had been working.
Mixing chocolate, cream cheese, and other ingredients in a bowl, Rose breathed deep. Her home smelled of Christmastime, and with good reason. In three days it would be Christmas Eve. Grace was on a chair beside Rose, her four-year-old hands holding a small hammer as she smashed Oreo cookies in a plastic baggie.
Mose and Levi were in the new addition, helping Joel and their granddad, along with four other men. The boys had gone to school today, and they would go again tomorrow and Friday, but they were enjoying helping the men work when home.
A fire roared in the hearth. The earth was covered in a white blanket, with more snow expected tomorrow. The stack of glistening presents on the window seat in the living room kept growing little by little.
This year was working toward being the best Christmas she’d ever had, despite whatever was nagging Joel.
Grace whacked the hammer against the Oreos again and giggled. “I just mash ’em up good.” She tapped the hammer against the broken cookie pieces.
“Ya, you do.” Rose put her arm around Grace. “You’re such a good helper.”
Grace never looked up. “I know. What will you do without me once I’m in school?”
“I don’t know, but your confidence is a gift to me all on its own.”
“What’s confidence?”
“That warm feeling in your belly that says you’re good at things.”
Before coming to Forest Hill, Rose had a few fleeting moments of confidence. It was a wonderful feeling, even though for her it was a hard-fought-for sentiment. She wanted the children to believe in themselves.
Grace looked up. “I’m good at lots of stuff.”
“Very true.” And she was. Rose wouldn’t support false confidence, but all three children were bright and skilled in many things for their age.
She would miss little Grace’s constant help the day she joined her big brothers in school. But that day was not today. For now her little daughter, at age four, was perfectly content to mix ingredients with Mama in the kitchen.
“What’s next, Mama?” Grace put her finger on the recipe for Double Chocolate Cheesecake in the open cookbook. The book gave a simplified version of the recipe, which made it perfect for Grace to help Rose.
“Hmm, let’s see.” Rose picked up the Feed My Sheep cookbook from the counter. “We need to put the crushed cookies in a bowl and add melted butter.” Rose slid a bowl in front of Grace.
“I can do it, Mama.”
“Okay.”
Grace opened the baggie and slowly poured the cookie pieces into the bowl.
Years ago Elise’s mom had put together this family cookbook, and Elise gave it to Rose the first month she was here. It had several short-cut oriented, tasty recipes that fed a lot of people. That alone was very helpful since she was providing lunch and snacks for all the men who were helping Joel finish the bedroom.
“Let’s add the melted butter.” Rose poured the golden liquid over the Oreos.
“I want to stir all by myself!” Grace grabbed the wooden spoon and seemed to use all her strength to move the utensil through the mixture. The Oreo crumbs slowly took on an even darker color as the butter saturated them.
Rose had been waiting a long time to make a certain recipe in this book—Italian Cream Cake. If all went as planned, it would be part of Joel’s Christmas present, a type of wedding cake. There would be cause for privately eating wedding cake at some point over the next few days, wouldn’t there?
She thought so, but something had bothered him since he spoke with his Daed and that preacher. He would talk to her about it when he was ready. Was the old heartache once again waking? Losing a loved one as he had came with a world of grief, and that didn’t disappear simply because he’d fall
en in love again. She understood that. She had already accepted that on occasions, even years from now, he would still have seasons of coping with the loss. Especially as the children grew and parts of Florence would be mirrored in their traits.
Nevertheless, she was giddy with excitement. Twenty-five years old and absolutely giddy. It was a first, although each Christmas since she’d arrived here had been better than the previous one, and all of them were much better than the mess she’d grown up in. Still, she’d written her Mamm a warm letter, telling about her life and choosing which of the good memories to share with her.
“Now let’s press the mixture into this pan.” Rose helped Grace pour the buttered crumbs into a cake pan lined with foil. They both pressed their fingers into the mixture that looked like garden dirt, making it mold to the pan. “Now we put it in the oven to bake for ten minutes. This part you have to let me do.” Rose kissed Grace’s nose and set the kitchen timer.
Grace continued to play with the measuring cups and spoons as they waited for the timer to ding. After the crust was toasted and smelling great, the timer went off, and Rose removed the pan from the oven. Using rubber spatulas, she and Grace carefully scraped the filling from the mixing bowl into the crust. She placed the cake back in the oven and set the timer for forty-five minutes.
“When will I be big enough to open the oven? When I’m seven, like Mose?”
“Ya, maybe. We’ll see. But I do need your help on something else: wrapping the last few gifts for your Daed.”
The little girl’s face lit up. Christmas for a child was pure magic. Even the mundane tasks like wrapping packages were fascinating. Rose lifted Grace off the chair she was standing on and twirled her around before setting her on her feet.
“Again, please!” her youngest squealed.
Rose smiled and obliged. “Boys,”—she set Grace’s feet back on the ground—“let’s get some packages wrapped.”
“Ya!” Mose yelled as he and Levi ran out of the new addition and scurried up the stairs. “We gotta get the presents. Meet you in your room, Mama.”
“Okay, I’ll be there shortly, but slow down, please.”
Joel came out of the unfinished bedroom, a hammer in hand and a lopsided smile lifting one side of his handsome face, his focus on her. “You wield some power.”
His smile was genuine, but he still didn’t seem fully at ease. She examined his face, trying not to think about how she craved another kiss.
She understood what he meant. He’d tried a few times to get the boys interested in doing something, anything outside of the work area. “Do I?” She pulled tape and scissors from the kitchen drawer. “You carry this.” She passed the tape to Grace.
Grace scurried up the stairs.
Rose and Joel walked toward each other until they were inches apart. “If I don’t hear the timer go off, would you holler up the stairs or get the cheesecake out of the oven for me?”
“I’m pretty sure I can manage that.”
“Me too.” She smiled up at him. “No eating any of it. Got it?”
“Hey, it’s my house too,” he teased, saying the same thing she’d said this morning about wanting to see the bedroom. He’d told her she couldn’t peek until late tomorrow.
“Ya, ya, ya. Whatever.” She mimicked a surly teen and went up the stairs.
Once she and the children were in her bedroom, Mose slammed the door. “I thought you were never going to get done in the kitchen.” Mose tossed his presents on the bed.
Rose pulled rolls of wrapping paper from the top of her closet, and the craziness began. By the time they were nearing the end, her back ached and her ears were ringing. What was it about Christmastime that caused children to forget how to use their inside voices?
“Mose!” Levi yelled across the wrapping-paper chaos. “I need the tape again!”
Wrapping presents with three young children took approximately ten times as long as it would have taken Rose by herself, but it was worth it to see the finished products the children came up with.
“Hold on. I’m still using it.” Mose had added so much tape to the package that Rose was convinced Joel would need a pair of scissors to get into his gift. “Here.” Mose threw the tape. Hard. It overshot his target, and at that same moment Joel opened the bedroom door. The tape smacked him in the chest. Rose burst into laughter as the children gasped.
“Whoa.” He chuckled. “Guess I should have worn a hard hat before sticking my head in this construction zone.” Joel picked up the tape from the floor and tossed it onto the bed.
“Daed! No peeking!” Grace stood on the bed, trying to shoo her father out of the room.
“Hey, I knocked first. No one heard me.”
“Imagine that.” Rose angled her head, lifted her brows, and nibbled on her bottom lip, flirting with him. “Grace, honey, I think all the gifts are covered very well at this point.” The children had used about three times the amount of wrapping paper it should have taken, but she wasn’t going to correct them when it had been so much fun.
“So what’s up?” Rose asked.
Joel had slowly grown comfortable with this room. It’d been a process, one he said began when Rose started leaving the bedroom door open at night so all of them could talk to each other from their beds, or, in Joel’s case, from the sectional couch in the former office down the hall. They would share an event and bid one another good night. After the children were asleep, Joel and she would talk just loudly enough to each other to be heard, share something normal, and then start laughing like teenagers at a sleepover. Elise called it “all very John-Boy and Walton’s Mountain type of stuff,” whatever that meant.
Joel shifted. “I removed the dessert from the oven about twenty minutes ago.”
Had more than an hour passed already? “Denki.”
“But I came upstairs to tell you that I think you all should go to the front porch.”
He looked so attractive in that moment, teasing and prodding the children. She thought of what it would be like to embrace him whenever she wanted. When his eyes met hers, she saw longing mixed with something indefinable. She didn’t know why he couldn’t simply tell her what had been on his mind since the ministers came to see him on Tuesday, but she knew he was in love with her. That helped a lot.
“To the porch?” Mose scowled. “It’s cold out there.”
“Grab your coat and put on your boots. I think you’ll find the treat worth it,” Joel said.
Grace’s eyes grew large. “A treat!”
All three children clamored for the bedroom door, and Rose tagged behind. The children were soon stomping down the stairs, but Rose seemed glued in place as she studied her husband.
He gestured down the hallway. “After you.”
As she started to pass him, he caught her arm. “Gertie’s here. I just wanted to warn you.”
“Hmm.” Rose punched his shoulder with her finger. “I need a kiss. A good one to cope with this properly.”
Amusement and pleasure gleamed in his eyes. He mocked a sigh. “I suppose.”
But when he wrapped his arms around her and put his mouth on hers, there was no hint of humoring her. The kiss lingered, and when she rested her hands on his chest, she could feel his heart racing.
“Mama! Daed!” Levi’s voice rumbled from the foot of the stairs. “We got our coats on. Can we go out now?”
“Wait for us,” Rose answered, but she didn’t pull away from him.
He smiled, took her by the hand, and led her down the stairs. “There are people waiting. Kumm.” Joel grabbed his coat, and Rose did the same. With his children standing ready at the door, Joel opened it. There was a gathering of children and adults positioned in a small arc on their lawn. Gertie was among them and looked to be the leader, as all eyes were on her. She took a breath, and they began singing, “Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, the little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head.”
“That’s my favorite!” Grace whispered excitedly as she tugged on Rose’s
arm. All of them moved onto the porch, and Rose pulled Grace closer as her family stood listening to the singing. Joel put his arm around Rose’s shoulders. She let the peace of the songs seep into her soul.
When the carolers finished and silence hung in the air, Rose released Grace from her embrace and clapped, and the rest of her family joined her. After they applauded, Rose motioned to the visitors, whose cheeks and noses were turning red from the cold. “Kumm on in.”
“Ya, please do. Rose and Grace have filled the house with cookies and desserts.” Joel opened the front door and ushered Rose inside first and then the rest. “And the men and I could use a break from working on the addition.”
“I’ll have coffee for the adults and hot chocolate for the children in just a few minutes.” Rose’s words were for no one in particular as she hurried to put another pot of coffee on to brew.
The room rumbled with laughter and silly stories as Rose and Joel served everyone a hot beverage and cookies. When almost everyone had their beverage and chosen dessert on a plate, Joel turned to hand out another mug of coffee. “Do you see anyone else who needs a drink?” He scouted the room.
“Gertie.” Rose nodded to a corner where Gertie sat by herself, watching others interact.
“Uh…not me,” Joel whispered. “It’s too cold outside for a mud bath.”
“Give me that.” She winked at Joel and walked toward Gertie.
Now that everything was out in the open, Gertie no longer seemed like a threat but rather a woman who was currently experiencing crushing loneliness—something Rose was familiar with. Maybe they could become friends.
She crossed the room and handed the cup to Gertie. “The singing was lovely.”
“Denki.” Gertie stared into her mug.
“ ‘Away in a Manger’ is Grace’s favorite carol. She thinks it’s funny that Jesus was once a little baby sleeping where animals feed.”
Gertie perked up a bit. “Ya, it’s my youngest daughter’s favorite too.”
Their conversation continued, both sharing little idiosyncrasies about their children. It was funny to Rose how parents never ran out of cute stories about their children.
The Angel of Forest Hill Page 9