Babylon 5 07 - The Shadow Within (Cavelos, Jeanne)

by The Shadow Within (Cavelos, Jeanne)

  "Yes, sir," Corchoran said, and left.

  John sat down behind his desk. It was ironic. During wartime, the crew either functioned correctly or they died. Motivation wasn't an issue. In peace, the motivations were subtler: promotion, pride, a paycheck. But Captain Best had twisted all that, promoting those who didn't deserve it, holding back those who did. John would do whatever it took to get them into shape, if it meant drilling for a week, a month, a year- Oh hell. Anna. She'd kill him. The com system was on the wall behind his desk. He put through a call to Anna at the Imperial Hotel.

  He checked the time. She might have gone out to dinner. But she hadn't. She looked as beautiful as she ever had, her shoulder length hair a disorganized mass around her head, her smile, which arose when she saw him, emanating warmth. But there was more than warmth to her. She had a certain presence, a vitality and an intelligence that was totally Anna. That energy and insatiable desire for knowledge was what made her such a great archaeologist. She loved digging up the past, loved solving a mystery. She never gave up on anything and, luckily for John, that included him.

  "Is it time to open Liz's present?" she asked.

  He laughed.

  "Not another one."

  "You've seemed to like them in the past."

  John felt his smile slipping.

  "I can't make it, Anna."

  She became immediately serious.

  "What's wrong?"

  He rubbed his forehead.

  "I had to cancel leave. We failed the inspection. We had a serious violation. Lochschmanan is giving me a chance to bring the crew up to par, but he's not happy. I'm not sure whether they'd take the command away from me or not."

  Anna sat.

  "Listen, they're not going to do that. Earthforce believes in you. That's why they gave you command of the Agamemnon. You told me how screwed up the crew is. The previous captain was in there for years. You can't fix that overnight."

  "I know, but I feel like they've put their faith in me, and I've let them down."

  "All this inspection shows is that you have a problem . So now you go and fix it."

  He loved the way she angled her chin when she was making a point. "I know you can do that. No one was hurt, right?"

  It was an odd question.

  "No, of course not."

  "So then nothing irreversible has happened. You can still fix it. You've always said that you have to know your crew. So if there's a problem, you find out why. Then you deal with it, with your usual tact. Very simple."

  He smiled.

  "Maybe you can solve my other problem. I have this wonderful woman I'm supposed to meet."

  Anna propped her foot on the edge of the chair and wrapped her arms around her leg.

  "If she's so wonderful she'll understand." John sighed.

  "I'm sorry I can't make it."

  "No. Listen, this wouldn't have worked..."

  Someone knocked at John's door. He shook his head.

  "I have to go. I'm sorry. I love you."

  "I love you. I'll call tomorrow and see how you're doing."

  John nodded, and they absorbed each other silently for another moment before he ended the communication.

  CHAPTER 5

  Anna stepped onto the brightly lit tube, wishing for sunglasses. She hadn't been able to get much sleep in that huge bed last night, though experimenting with the settings had made for an educational evening. Practiced as she was with Geneva mass transit, she was able to maneuver her way ahead of the other boarding passengers to an empty seat. An overweight Centauri jammed into the seat on her right, and she now noticed a powerful smell coming from the dockworker on her left.

  Sometimes she wished she could spend all of her time among dead civilizations. Station Prime was basically a revolving ring, with two diametric passages running at right angles to each other connecting opposite sides of the ring and a central landing bay for small to moderate-sized ships. Different tube routes ran around the circumference of the ring or cut through the diametric passages.

  Anna was simply riding around the circumference for this journey, since her destination was less than halfway around the ring. She'd been so excited about the expedition last night with no one to talk to that she'd sent a message to Liz. The communications console offered plenty of frills, of course, including various virtual backgrounds that her body could be inserted into for different messages. She wasted some time playing with them, finally settling on a relatively conservative tropical sunrise scene. She even combed her hair. Sharing the news with Liz made it seem somehow more real. She felt bad for not telling John about the expedition.

  He'd looked so guilty when he'd told her he had to cancel the vacation. But it hadn't been the right time. He was worried about his career, and she knew how much that meant to him. It drove her crazy to see him in pain. She'd like to take every malcontent on the Agamemnon and rip his head off. What were they doing in Earthforce anyway if they didn't want to follow orders? This kind of trouble challenged John's whole philosophy. His relationship with Earthforce wasn't like hers with IPX. She knew that in working for the corporation she was dealing with the devil. She didn't expect them to do anything that wasn't profit motivated.

  But John believed in Earthforce, believed in it so hard and with such passion that to find flaws in it hurt him at his spiritual center. Serving Earth-and so consequently serving Earthforce-was his purpose in life. He felt called to it. Finding that the one he served was not worthy of service would, she thought, destroy him. She prayed that Earthforce would be worthy of him. She opened her computer to take her mind off John and began to review the specs sent by Dr. Chang once again.

  The expedition to Alpha Omega 3 would last for six months: approximately one month in transit in each direction, and four months for study and excavation of the site. The Icarus, owned by IPX and commanded by Captain Hidalgo, had a crew and science support staff of one hundred and thirty. The facilities on the Icarus seemed to be more sophisticated than those on previous ships she'd taken. The support staff seemed well trained in the operation of heavy equipment like crawlers, dozers, drills, sonic probes, and resonance imagers as well as in the more delicate washes and separation techniques.

  When she'd first looked at the equipment manifest, she'd thought they must have made a mistake. It read like her ultimate wish list of toys and tools for a dig. A few items she hadn't even heard of. She couldn't believe they could afford all this and stay on budget, so she jumped to the budget analysis. The expedition had a budget over four times that of any other expedition she'd been on. Chang was right. There was too much interest in this.

  The archaeological team numbered ten. Since Anna had gone on most of her expeditions with Dr. Chang, and Chang, a creature of habit, liked using the same people again and again, Anna expected to see the usual suspects. Doctors Churlstein, Favorito, Razor, and Scott she all knew fairly well. Two other archaeologists, Petrovich and Standish, she'd met around the office but had never worked with before. They worked under a different mission supervisor, not Galovich, as Chang and Anna did. This troubled her. It seemed so unlike Chang.

  Perhaps Chang's normal team preferences were tied up with other projects and couldn't get free. But then there was the capper. A member of the archaeological team who was neither a Ph.D. nor an archaeologist nor an employee of IPX. Ms. Donne, the personnel roster read, of Psi Corps. How had she muscled her way onto the expedition? It was unprecedented. She knew absolutely nothing about archaeology.

  Now Anna understood why Chang had seemed so ill at ease. IPX had granted Donne a place on board. The pressure from Psi Corps must have been terrific. It must be related to Terrence: Psi Corps concerned about the effect of the mouse; IPX launching an expedition to the planet that might be the home of the technology that created the mouse. Everything was starting to come together now.

  The expedition would be under a microscope. It all had to do with power, as Chang had said. Perhaps Petrovich and Standish were there to keep watch ov
er Chang himself. And then there was the final member of the archaeological team, on loan from Earthforce.

  Earthforce employees contracted out to IPX had occasionally accompanied expeditions, but IPX preferred to bring in Earthforce personnel after they had something to sell and had calculated an asking price. The few expeditions Anna had heard about them participating in were usually follow-up missions, after the preliminary archaeology had been done and a tentative deal struck with Earthforce. At least this Earthforce contract employee had a Ph.D. in archaeology, with a specialty in archaeo-linguistics. They needed a linguist on the expedition. She looked through the file on him that Chang had included. It didn't contain much information.

  The Ph.D. was earned at a mediocre college, and then he'd gone straight to work for the government. No teaching, no research. Anna knew a good part of her feeling was snobbery, but she tended, along with most of her colleagues, to look down on scientists who did not stay grounded in academia, particularly scientists who worked for the government. Dr. Chang was the only scientist she knew who worked full-time in a corporate environment and kept his scientific edge. According to the file, this archaeo-linguist had taken a leave of absence from his job about six months ago, and had only been reactivated for this expedition. The whole situation seemed suspect.

  Chang, left to his own devices, would never have chosen this man for his linguist. Anna doubted he could translate the Book of G'Quan, never mind the writings of a totally new, unknown culture. There wasn't much more to the file, except his current address, oddly enough, on Station Prime. From the tube stop, the address was a five-minute walk, as he'd described. She'd told him she wanted to review what equipment he ne eded, though what she actually wanted was the chance to size him up before they all got on a ship together headed for the rim.

  The neighborhood was somewhat shabby, according to Centauri standards, the halls rather narrow and modest, with a lack of decorative ornament. She found the address and rang. The door opened, and she entered. A compact man came out of the darkness toward her.

  "Dr. Sheridan."

  "Dr. Morden?"

  She held out her hand, a bit uneasy.

  "A pleasure to meet you."

  He shook her hand, and his palm was soft and smooth, not like an archaeologist's at all. The door closed behind her, cutting off the main source of light.

  "Lights," he said, turning away as the overheads came on.

  "I'm sorry. Is it two o'clock already? I'm afraid I lost track of time."

  "I'm sorry. Were you resting? I can come back later."

  He turned back to face her, a pasted smile revealing a row of perfect white teeth.

  "No, don't be silly. Please stay. Have a seat. Can I make you some tea?"

  His voice was as smooth as his palms.

  "No, I'm fine."

  Anna sat on the couch. It was velour, with a high back, in the Centauri style. All of the furniture looked Centauri, if rather inexpensive and unornamented. The apartment had a rather generic quality, a lack of personal effects, except for some shelves of artifacts against one wall. It was a look Anna recognized, since her freelancing required her to move about once a year. The furniture came with the apartment.

  "You're sure?"

  She nodded, and Morden sat in an armchair opposite her, folding his hands quietly together. The smile was still there. Everything about him bespoke control. He sat neatly, carefully, arms against his body, legs together. He wore a dark suit, freshly pressed and creased. His dark hair was styled cleanly back, no split ends or stray hairs like her own indefinable style. He was definitely an exception from the typical scraggly archaeologist.

  "I guess we're going to be shipping out together soon," she said.

  He nodded.

  "Yes."

  "I brought the equipment manifest."

  She opened her computer, called up the screen.

  "I wanted to make sure you have everything you need."

  She handed it over to him. He scanned down it, the smile remaining carefully in place.

  "Wow. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for so much. I don't even know what half of this stuff is."

  "So there's nothing you need me to add?"

  Her ruse now seemed painfully apparent, but there was nothing to do but play it out. He returned the computer.

  "No. I have a few of my own things I'll bring along, but that's it."

  His eyes drifted away from her, to a point over her left shoulder.

  "Is this your first expedition with IPX?" she asked.

  His dark eyes came back to her.

  "No, I've been involved in two others, though not recently. You people at IPX do some wonderful work."

  "I just freelance for them. But I agree. They're about the only ones who can launch a major expedition these days."

  "You're probably wondering why I work for Earthforce."

  "No-I didn't-well, how do you like it? What division is it you work for?"

  "New Technologies, which as you know are sometimes very old technologies. We don't launch any major expeditions; we leave that to IPX. But we do come into possession of some fascinating artifacts, which I have the opportunity to study. Unfortunately, I can't talk about most of them. You know the government."

  "My husband is a captain in Earthforce."

  She was starting to wonder how long that smile could last. Surely his mouth had to get tired.

  "Oh. Your husband."

  His eyes drifted away again.

  "Is that how you know Dr. Chang? Through your previous work with IPX?"

  "We've never met actually. I'm looking forward to it."

  "I was wondering how he picked you for the expedition."

  "I'm afraid I don't know. I'm sort of out of the loop here. My superiors just called and asked if I'd be willing to go. Of course I said yes. It's a wonderful opportunity."

  She wondered how she would ever find out his credentials, or ever break through that smile of his.

  "You have some interesting artifacts here."

  She stood and went over to the shelves.

  He followed.

  "Oh, well, miscellaneous leftovers mainly, but they remind me where I've been."

  He stood neatly as well, hands still clasped in front of him. She found a number of semicommon pieces, among them an Anfran love stone. The round black volcanic glass was smooth except for a tiny inscription on the back, the name of the Anfran star god, who regulated matters of love. The stone was meant to be worn as a necklace, with the name of the god worn against the chest, never showing. The stone was believed to carry the good wishes of loved ones.

  "You've been to An-fras? I did my doctoral thesis on their culture."

  Morden nodded.

  "I thought their love incantation was the most romantic thing in the world. I used to recite it to my husband. ''The love that knows no borders.''"

  His smile seemed to crack then.

  "I'm familiar with the line. I'm afraid you mistranslate. The correct meaning is, ''The love that abides no borders.'' You can see my article in Archaeology Quarterly."

  She wondered if he could be right, if she and others could have mistranslated it. Maybe he did know what he was doing. She'd have to check into it. She sifted through the other artifacts.

  "I was surprised to find that you were living right here on the station. How do you like it?"

  He picked up the love stone.

  "It's liveable. I had to get away from Earth."

  She smiled.

  "Why, are you wanted?"

  His smile grew in intensity for a horrible moment, then it fractured and fell away. She could see his features attempting to regroup.

  "You probably saw it on the news."

  Then his face became still: controlled, fragile, waiting for an answer.

  "No-not that I know of."

  "My wife and daughter were killed in the terrorist bombing of the Io jump gate last May."

  Anna wished his eyes would drift away from hers now.
They had fastened onto her, as if daring her to respond. She didn't know what to say. She'd come here determined to uncover his deceptions or incompetence. She'd never imagined she would find something like this. It was just like Chang to leave something personal and critical out of the file.

  "I'm sorry. I was on a dig last spring. I heard about what happened, but I never watched any of the feeds."

  He nodded.

  "Many people still recognize me. I guess I was screaming or something. I don't remember."

  "I'm so sorry for bringing this up."

  He smiled, and this was a slight, tired, lop-sided smile that passed quickly.

  "It's not like I wouldn't think of them otherwise."

  He handed her the love stone.

  "I gave that to my wife, as a wedding present. I read her the incantation. We agreed we would abide no borders."

  He stopped.

  "I'm going to make that tea."

  "That sounds wonderful," Anna said.

  The kitchen was in a nook at one end of the living room, and Anna sat on a stool at the counter as he prepared the tea. As she looked again around the apartment, she realized he'd just been marking time here for the last six months, unable to resume his life.

  "Their ship was just entering the jump gate when it blew," he said, his back to her, his voice slightly musical.

  "Of course I should have been with them. They found debris, but not enough to account for the whole ship. They said some of it must have been drawn through into hyperspace. They said no one could have survived. I know they're right. Half of a blown-up ship in hyperspace. But sometimes I wonder if they could be alive. And then I wonder what it would be like, floating through hyperspace, lost, alone. Sarah would be six now."

  He turned to her with the tea, and Anna was surprised to see his face carrying that same still, controlled expression. She remembered a quote from her favorite author, John Steinbeck: There are some among us who live in rooms of experience that we can never enter.

  "How do you cross a border like that?" he asked.

  "I don't know."