by E. N. Joy
“Girl, what you talking about? Just ’cause a brotha shed a little tear, read a little poem and whatnot, why he gotta be soft?”
The two shared a laugh.
“So you still going to Miss Korica’s house?” Eugene asked.
“No.” Unique shook her head. “But before I take you home, there’s still one stop I have to make.”
Unique took a quick right and then drove for about five more minutes before she went through a large, white open gate.
When he realized where they were and what they were probably going to see, Eugene immediately sat up, his body stiff.
Unique sensed Eugene’s uneasiness. “You never been here before?”
He shook his head.
“I didn’t think so.” Unique kept driving along the gravel road. When she finally parked and turned off the car, she quickly opened her car door, but Eugene remained frozen in place.
Unique held out her hand. “Come on.”
Eugene looked down at Unique’s hand and then over her shoulder and out the window. He caught sight of three large headstones in the near distance. He knew exactly who those headstones belonged to. He felt as if guilt was attempting to swallow him up whole. “I can’t.” He shook his head and stared straight ahead.
“Please, Eugene,” Unique pleaded. “I think you need to do this. We need to do this.”
Not only had Eugene never visited his son’s grave site, but he also hadn’t even known where his own child was buried. He’d said a prayer once in jail that he’d see his little man someday in heaven, but not in a graveyard. But at this point in his life, Eugene wasn’t too sure God would let him into heaven, so he figured he’d better take advantage of the opportunity to see his son now.
“I think Junior would love to see his mommy and daddy together, coming to see about him.” Unique smiled at Eugene, her hand still extended.
Eugene looked down at Unique’s hand again. He stared at it for a moment. Could he do this? Was he strong enough, was he man enough, and did he even deserve the opportunity to pay his respects to his son? He’d failed him so much in life. He didn’t even feel worthy of this visit. Then Eugene thought about his boy’s smiling face. Given that Unique had never bad talked their fathers in front of the boys, they had been none the wiser about what losers their fathers were. Whenever Eugene’s boy had come around him, it had always been with open arms and a smile. The boy hadn’t even known what child support was, and he’d been unaware that he wasn’t getting it on the regular. When his boy had looked at him, all he’d seen was Daddy. Eugene hadn’t been able to even say his final good-byes. His boy at least deserved that from him now. With that last thought, Eugene placed his hand in Unique’s.
Unique squeezed it tightly. “I’ll be right here with you.”
Eugene nodded, then opened the car door. He walked around and met Unique over on the driver’s side. Hand in hand, Unique and Eugene walked over to the grave sites, where they sat for the next hour, reminiscing about what had been and contemplating what could have been. As Unique sat curled up under Eugene’s arm, she couldn’t help but wonder what could possibly still be.
This time was all about their son. There were no thoughts of Terrance and what had just happened. That was all a distant memory now. No suspicions about Korica having set Unique up came to mind. They neither thought nor spoke of any other man, woman, or child, not even the twins. This moment was dedicated to their fond memories of the boys. After all, that was all that was left of them . . . memories.
Chapter 22
“I watched the recorded episode of Mary Mary last night. Ole girl is going through the motions after finding out her husband had been cheating on her for years with multiple women and she’d been absolutely clueless !” Lorain said. She sat in the first row of the three-tiered bench seating in the viewing room at the dance school. “Guess that’s two points for the chicks who go through cell phones and look in wallets and at credit card statements. At least they ain’t clueless.”
There were a couple chuckles from other parents who were watching their children through the glass the separated them.
A mother named Taina asked, “Which one of the girls found that out?” She’d been engrossed in a book but was now focused on Lorain.
“Tina, the one that just had the baby,” Jacquelyn said, jumping in.
Another mother, named Makasha, who was sitting directly behind Lorain, shook her head. “The worst feeling in the world is to find out you’re clueless.”
“Is her husband a stay-at-home dad?” Ayanna, another mother, asked.
A mother named Michelle jumped in. “He’s always at home every time they show him, but I think he’s actually the music director for one of those late-night talk shows, American Idol, or something like that.”
Lorain said, “I know she travels a lot, and some men will say she probably wasn’t giving him enough sex. Well, they got quite a few babies to prove otherwise. And I’m sorry, but not being satisfied sexually is not grounds to cheat. Otherwise, there are a lot of women walking around who would have grounds to cheat, because men always get theirs during sex, but women can’t say the same . . . but all those women don’t hop out of the bed and go find somebody to finish the job.”
“You said a mouthful, Lorain!” Makasha said.
Lorain turned and exchanged high fives with Makasha and a couple of the other mothers.
“Preach! You ain’t never lied!” Ayanna exclaimed, and then she and Lorain high-fived as well.
Sharon, one of the dancer’s grandmother, added her two cents. “He’s not a househusband. He’s a cheater with no redeeming qualities in my book!”
Dance mom Cerise, who was also a private investigator, said to Lorain, “You made every point I would have made. Well said!”
“I wonder which one of them makes the most money,” Ayanna thought out loud. “I’m sorry, but cheating and being supported by my income is a double whammy. We can talk all we want about ‘what’s yours is mine’ in marriage, but we all know to wait until her pain turns bitter. If she holds the purse strings, he’ll have to ask for money to buy a Happy Meal. A woman scorned is a force!”
The women nodded in agreement.
“He does contribute,” Sharon said. “He’s a lowlife!”
Lorain turned to Sharon and chuckled. “Sharon, I don’t see you sympathizing with him anytime soon.”
Sharon shook her head. “Nope. I was a little upset that several episodes ago, when they were doing the cover shoot for Ebony, she ‘accepted’ responsibility for not being there for him. I couldn’t see her being responsible for his actions, and now that he has admitted that there were numerous affairs over a long period of time, she realizes how deceived she really was.” You could see in her eyes that Sharon felt the reality star’s pain. It was as if she was speaking from experience.
Lorain turned to Ayanna. “I hear you about that woman scorned being a force. I know initially, when she thought he’d cheated on her with one woman, she wanted to forgive him. She felt that everybody makes mistakes. But, honey, he was cheating with the same woman for years. That ain’t a mistake. That’s a relationship! ”
Some of the women nodded to show they agreed.
“And besides,” Lorain added, “I’ll have to agree with Iyanla Vanzant on this one. You can forgive somebody from a different address!”
“Now you preaching again,” said someone sitting in the row behind Lorain.
“No question she needs to become a force—a force for putting him behind her!” It was clear Sharon was not going to give a cheating man any slack or any room for excuses.
Cerise jumped back into the conversation. “I don’t watch the show, but every woman has intuition. She didn’t lose hers, and something in the pit of her stomach said that he’s not right. That’s why their marriage has issues. They just aren’t saying it on camera. Maybe this is the private investigator in me. To this day I haven’t had a client hire me to prove their husband is cheating who didn’t
already know it. They tell me exactly where to find his cheating behind. She’s no fool! This is why I stay in my man’s business, and if he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing, that should never be a problem for him.”
Ayanna shook her head in disgust. “The violation . . . raw, unprotected sex . . . you know it was. All I can say is this will make for quite an album. You know, as an artist, that pain has to come out.”
Sharon addressed the last comment Cerise had made. “I think if I was at the point of hiring a PI, I would certainly know something was up, but some people think they are doing all the right things and really don’t have a clue until it smacks them in the face. In so many cases, love truly is blind.”
Lorain said to Cerise, “I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only woman who gets in her man’s business. I’m not obsessed, but this girl keeps her eyes and ears wide open. It’s not a matter of distrust. I’m the kind of person who asks questions when I don’t have answers. I refuse to run around in my marriage with a question mark on my forehead—afraid to ask my husband anything that is on my mind.”
Lorain had to pause, because she’d caught her own self in a lie. Something had been bothering Nicholas about their wedding, or rather, about not having had a wedding. She could see it in his eyes every time he mentioned the wedding. But instead of coming right out and asking him about it, she’d just assumed she knew what was bothering him, and now she thought she could make it better by giving him a surprise wedding.
Lorain quickly changed the subject, addressing a comment Ayanna had made. “Ayanna, like you said, especially unprotected sex. That’s attempted murder. ‘AIDS kills.... Negro, you tried to kill me? For real?’ Oh, it would be on in my house. I would be one of those women who started a bogus lawsuit, you know, the kind of women people were always talking about. I would absolutely try to hire a lawyer to help me with my attempted murder case.”
“You and me both,” someone agreed.
Cerise said to Sharon, “I respectfully disagree with what you said a minute ago, Sharon. It’s not that love is blind, and frankly, men are not that good. I love my man, the father of my children, to the moon and back, but I do that with my eyes wide open. I give no woman credit for playing the fool, and believe me, it’s an act. However, if it helps her sleep better at night, then sleep on.”
One of the dads, who had been quietly tucked into a corner in the top row of the bench seating, finally spoke up. “Wow, he cheated with a woman, and yet it seems that all this faultfinding is aimed at the man. And you’ve made up excuses to search through a man’s things without cause. If there is no reason to do so, please do not make one up. This goes both ways. That’s just my view.” He immediately buried his head back in his iPhone, where it had been. But of course, that hadn’t kept him from hearing the hens peck.
Sharon addressed Cerise first. “I do understand where you’re coming from, but I also have to believe there are exceptions to every rule.” She turned and addressed the dance dad. “And certainly what’s good for the goose is also good for the gander.”
Lorain turned to the dance dad. “I hear you, but we ain’t talking about a case on the ID Channel over here or about the O. J. Simpson case, where you need just cause and all that business. We’re talking about matrimonial vows here.”
Cerise jumped in to back up Lorain. “As long as we share an address and a bed, there’s my reason. I agree, this also goes both ways. I have no quarrels with checking something out. If I’m wrong, great, but if I’m not, please believe I better be.”
Sharon said, “I wish Tina could hear this conversation her situation has started and know she’s not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel. My second husband and I will celebrate thirty-seven very happy years together this year. I just learned that the wife of my first husband—the cheater—just filed for divorce. It seems she caught him with his umpteenth girlfriend and had enough!” Clearly, Sharon had been speaking from her own pain and experience, which people tended to do.
“Good for you and the mister, Sharon,” Lorain said, congratulating her. “That’s awesome! I pray I can say that about me and Nick one day. But back to you, Cerise. I see you don’t play.” They laughed. “I hear you, though. You don’t need a warrant for a search and seizure of your own property. . . I mean the house and its contents . . . not referring to men and women as each other’s property. I wanted to clear that up.”
Ayanna said to Sharon, “I’m also blessed to have a second marriage that is all I hoped for. I recall snooping when I got ‘the feeling’ something wasn’t right with my first husband. I went so far as to act like his secretary and call the hotel for a receipt ‘for his expense account’ to get proof he was cheating. We women have all the evidence but require a confession. I should have left then, but by the time I did, I didn’t even need proof. But I found out a lot about myself and what was good for me and what I must have in a relationship. Good love is amazing. Hopefully, Tina will pick up her self-worth and toss out the garbage.”
Shelia, one of the mothers who up to this point had been very quiet and had been listening, decided to join the conversation. “With her going public about the affair, she’s also dealing with shame. If I could talk to her directly, I would tell her not to concern herself with what others have to say. She’s the one who has to live with her decision, and she should do what she needs to do so she’ll be happy. She should forget worrying about what the public may think.”
A couple of the women nodded.
“That’s exactly what her sister told her,” Lorain said to Shelia.
“Good. Hopefully, she’ll listen,” Shelia said.
“Let me go back to something Ayanna said,” Lorain stated. “Why is it, do you think, that women need to hear that confession from the horse’s mouth?”
Shelia replied first. “I think women like to see if their man will tell the truth . . . confess after all the lies. Women go through the trouble of finding evidence so that when they confront the man, he won’t be able to deny the allegations. But as we know, even with concrete proof, some men will still act like they are not guilty or will turn it around to make it seem like the wife is the reason why they slept with another woman.”
“Plus,” Lorain said, “if I do decide to forgive you, I need to know exactly what it is I’m forgiving you for.”
Ayanna thought for a second and then replied, “I can’t say exactly why. Maybe the least they can do is take ownership of the pain they’ve caused. I can’t stand a liar, so it also could be wanting a confession for all the trouble I went through gathering dirt on your lying tail.” Ayanna’s voice rose an octave as she continued, and she began pointing her finger. “Oh, you gon’ own up to this, you trifling pig. . . . Shoot!”
“Whoa,” Lorain said, trying to calm Ayanna down. “Reel it back in. I didn’t mean to take you back there. Count to ten and think happy thoughts . . . rainbows, flowers, and penny candy. . . .”
Ayanna counted to ten and then let out a deep breath. “Okay. Deep breaths . . . I’m happy Mary again.”
“I’m not married yet,” Michelle said. “I don’t forgive for cheating. The reason why I’m probably not married yet is that I don’t forgive for cheating. Control yourself or tell me so I can let you go. I will know, I will find out, and I’m not snooping. Bless you ladies who do. I can’t. My Spidey senses are really good. They’re linked to my instincts, which are linked to prayer, which, yes, is linked to God!”
“Amen,” someone shouted.
Michelle continued. “I’ve said this before, and I will say it again. Human behavior is a science, one of the few natural sciences that are pretty exact. Unless your husband is a psycho, in which case you’d see other kinds of behavior and probably wouldn’t live to tell about it, he will always leave a trail. Now faith in God will ensure that you recognize that behavior.”
Lorain turned to Michelle. “I have to add that snooping is done in secret. I don’t snoop. I need you to know I’m watching. That’s cal
led accountability, and every marriage should have some sort of accountability. You are right, Michelle. God will not allow you to be ignorant of Satan’s devices . . . at least not forever, anyway.”
“I understand,” Michelle said. “And more times than not, it’s right away. Before the exchange of numbers, before the first date. . . .”
The dance dad decided to add his two cents again. He wasn’t about to let the scent of all the different women’s perfumes that was filling the enclosed space overpower the male testosterone that was now permeating the room. “Even though marriage is to be respected for the vows and morals, there is that part about ‘for better or for worse.’ The true question seems to be, will she forgive him now and hold her peace? Or will she part from him and keep it moving?”
Michelle jumped right on that comment. “Yeah, but worse means losing a job, coping with sickness, dealing with the death of a child maybe. I don’t think worse means committing adultery. That’s not what God meant. But again, I’m not married, so what do I know.” She shrugged.
Lorain addressed the dance dad. “You are absolutely right. We can all have our say and our opinions. We can talk about what we would do, what we didn’t do, or what we have already done in our own situation, but each case and each person is different. Kobe and Bill Cosby’s wife stayed in their marriages, while Michael Jordan’s wife and Tiger’s wife threw up deuces and stepped.” She turned to Michelle. “And, Michelle, you have a point there. God does not compromise His word about the sanctity of marriage, so I’m inclined to agree with you.”
Michelle smiled and nodded.
The dance dad wasn’t quite finished making his point yet. “When wives are on the road or away from home, a lot of them cheat on their husbands. I don’t think it’s fair to single out men as the only cheaters. I’m not defending what he did, but it’s funny how women are always quick to suggest divorce. Families have to find a way to stay together. Divorce is the easy way out. It doesn’t even address the issues within the marriage.”