by E. N. Joy
Lorain addressed the dance dad. “Nobody is singling out men. This conversation is about a specific couple, in which the man was the cheater, not the woman, so that’s what this particular dialogue pertains to.”
“Okay,” someone said before Lorain continued.
“I think you are confusing this conversation with somebody else’s. No one in this room has suggested divorce. Even Tina’s sister suggested she leave her husband for a little while, to get her thoughts together.”
The dance dad was about to say something, but Lorain cut him off in order to finish up what she had to say.
“I repeat. In this instance the man was the cheater. I’m sure there is a discussion going on somewhere where the wife was the cheater and everybody is bashing cheating women. This is not that conversation.”
The dance dad responded, “I have to bring balance to conversations like these. Women tend to get off the subject and turn the conversation into a male bashing festival.”
Lorain replied, “How about you keep balance in the whole universe by continuing to be a faithful husband?”
The women clapped and high-fived when they heard that.
“There’s no male bashing here,” Michelle confirmed. “It’s about setting the precedent for how someone treats you. It’s about trusting God and your instincts before, during, and after—if you make the choice to divorce. It’s about knowing when enough is enough. It’s about knowing why you’re staying. It’s about the differences between different women and what they will or won’t accept. No, no male bashing here. Don’t make the mistake of speaking for your entire gender when you’re responsible only for your own actions, because some men do some unforgivable things.”
“Exactly,” Lorain said. “We are not bashing all men. Just talking trash about the low down, dirty, cheating ones. No excuse to defile marriage ever . . . man or woman.”
A mother named Paulette, who had been quiet up to now, said, “We all deal with situations in our marriage or relationship the best we can, and a lot depends on our emotional stability. She is doing it her way, and you ladies have done it your ways. We must forgive and let God do the judging. Married with children can be a tough place to be. As a Christian, I don’t know and can’t imagine what that would be like for someone with such a public life, anyway. There are no secrets, and whether or not she knew or did not know is irrelevant. She has chosen to make it work ‘her way,’ and we, as human beings with compassion for others, are to ask for her strength, peace, understanding, and encouragement in the Lord. That is where her answers really will come from. I’ve been sitting back and listening because this is a very interesting discussion.”
“I don’t think anyone was judging,” Michelle said to Paulette. “I think that God allows certain discussions so people learn how to deal with situations. We all sympathize with her situation. In my humble opinion, whether or not she did or didn’t know is relevant. It shows her obedience to God or possible lack thereof. She chose to put her Christian journey in the public eye for the purpose of our walking in our own journey.”
Jacquelyn, who had been quiet for a minute, joined the conversation. “There are always red flags and some evidence that we, as women, refuse to admit or acknowledge without lowering ourselves and tree boxing the man or searching through his cell. Women are very wise and intelligent beings.”
“Tina repeated over and over how she was clueless. So even if it isn’t irrelevant to some of us, it was very much relevant to her and her pain,” Lorain noted. “Judging and having an opinion are not interchangeable terms. We all deal with things differently in our Christian walk . . . at least all of us who are, in fact, Christians. Fasting and praying may work for one person in a particular situation, while in the same situation plain old-fashioned wisdom may work for another. I respect everyone’s opinion, though, even if it does differ from mine. I won’t say she is lowering herself if she chooses to stay with him, and I won’t say the woman who searches the cell phone is lowering herself.”
Lorain paused for a moment. “Everybody has different standards by which they weigh things, so I won’t put mine on anybody else. Now I might say, ‘I won’t lower myself,’ because those are the standards by which I weigh my own actions. But I’m conscious about not offending others by saying that they are lowering themselves, since they may be weighing their own actions by standards that are different than mine.”
Jacquelyn took a deep breath, as if deciding whether or not to share what was on her mind. “I know when my husband first started running with other women, I chose not to end my marriage because of our children. But in no way was he allowed to be comfortable in it. We as women need to learn how to love and respect each other, and we must stick together and refuse to hurt our sisters by dating or sleeping with somebody else’s husband. I don’t share my panties, nor do I believe we should share our husbands in that way with other women.”
“You know you just said that, girl!” someone called out.
“You got an amen from this corner!” another shouted.
Michelle exhaled. “Jacquelyn, I agree, and one of the first things I tell a married man if he asks me out is, ‘I don’t share! No, I don’t want to hear about how bad your wife is treating you. Go talk to her. No, I don’t care if you’re just there for the kids. If you are ever single and it’s meant to be, it will be.’ There’s a saying . . . ‘A woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man can with his pants down.’ I love it and live by it. No excuses.”
“So true, Michelle,” Jacquelyn said. “I like that saying. My mom used to say that all the time, about the woman running with her dress up. No man bashing intended. The truth is, men are going to ask, but a real woman should know to say no. God made man physically to sin, but He made woman to please the man. From my talks with my father and my brother, who was seven years older than me, I learned that once a man gets aroused, it is very painful and difficult for him to calm it down. So, ladies, learn to just say no to married men.”
“Just say no to married men!” someone called out.
Jacquelyn continued. “God is a God that deals in truth. No deceit, lies, or manipulation will ever be found in Him or in the way He deals with us. Any secret sin will be brought to light. We have to learn to accept and deal with the truth.”
There was a pause before Lorain spoke. “Jacquelyn touched on something huge, by the way. These children and how they affect our decisions as women to get into and stay in relationships.” Lorain shook her head. She had to admit that she’d talked Nicholas into rushing into marriage and skipping a big wedding because of the twins. “This is a hard one. I’m going to continue to pray for Miss Tina and other women in her shoes. I know she regrets going public, but she is helping folks. It’s one thing to tell somebody your testimony, but for people to actually see you walk it out in the midst of it . . .”
“No excuses ever for cheating, but Tina can grate a nerve,” someone named Dawn said. “Her personality was a bit over the top. As for going through the phone, I refuse to do it. Once you’re to that point, your problems are far bigger than that. I have not watched the show this season, but it’s hard to believe she had no clue.”
“I hear you, Dawn,” Lorain said. “But I’m not mad at the woman who doesn’t want to go to court and say, ‘I want a divorce, because I think he’s doing this, I think he’s doing that, and I have a women’s intuition about this, and God told me that.’ No, in the court of law I’m slamming proof on the table. ‘Dis what dat Negro did. Contest that!’ Like when Tom Cruise’s ex-wife got herself a secret cell phone to communicate with her attorney when filing for divorce. Some women are being abused and have to gather info secretly. Nope. You gotta know someone’s story. And if I grate a nerve, leave me, but please don’t risk my health and sanity.”
“Yeah, I see your point,” Dawn said. “My thought is cheating is wrong, and definitely, risking the other party’s health is wrong. Unfortunately, the other side of the coin is that she obviously still wa
nts to be with him. Grating on his nerves can’t be helping the situation. She either doesn’t care that she’s doing it or doesn’t know how to stop it. Either way, she’s not gonna have healthy relationships unless she changes that. Notice I said relationships, not just marriage, because I think her personality negatively impacts her singing career as well.”
All of a sudden, the conversation changed directions. “So why is it that I seem to be the only woman who does not support the illicit affair on Scandal? Am I missing something?” someone said out of the blue.
“I have a girlfriend who refuses to watch the show for just that reason,” someone replied. “She doesn’t understand why people are fascinated by that home-wrecking scenario . . . practically rooting for Olivia to get somebody else’s husband.”
“No way. I don’t support her affair,” Michelle said. “The show is more than the affair. I personally could do without it, but it goes to a deeper place. Besides, she’s not the only one who has an affair on the show. The main issues are the underhanded schemes the government engages in every day.”
“I was captivated by Olivia’s business acumen during the first few episodes, but when everyone started rooting for her because she was sleeping with the president . . . I had to turn it off,” said someone behind Lorain. “I believe every woman can attest to this act one way or another, but it should never be condoned . . . lesson learned.”
Just then Lorain’s cell phone began to vibrate. She looked down at her caller ID screen, only to see the word restricted. She hated to be torn away from the very interesting and deep conversation at hand, but she needed to answer the call.
“Hello,” Lorain greeted. For the next thirty seconds she listened as the caller spoke. With each second that passed and with every word she took in, the blood drained from her.
“Lorain, honey, are you okay?” someone whispered, placing their hand on her shoulder.
At that point, Lorain didn’t even recognize the voice. She didn’t even look up to see who it was that was trying to comfort her. The words that were entering her ear paralyzed her. After another few seconds of listening to the caller, Lorain heard a click in her ear. Moments after that her phone alerted her that she’d received a text from a restricted number. There was a date, time, and address.
“Lorain. Lorain.” A different voice was calling her now.
Lorain couldn’t speak. Even though the bench she sat on was hard, she felt as though she was sinking into a mound of pillows. She could feel the contents of her stomach rising to her throat. She jumped up and headed for the girls’ locker room. She made it into a bathroom stall in time to puke into the toilet.
Lorain remained with her head over the toilet bowl to make sure everything had come up. Once she was certain she was finished, she flushed the toilet and then went to one of the sinks. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw that she was sweating profusely. She was clammy, and her stomach was still slightly queasy. The smell of the sweaty locker room, which probably contained garments that had been danced in all week without being washed, made her want to puke again. The taste of what had risen from her stomach to her throat made her gag. Lorain turned on the water and began to rinse her mouth out and splash water on her face to cool herself down. She had no idea how the dancers tolerated this closed-in space, which didn’t have a single window, after having rehearsed for so many hours. The permanent humidity in the locker room surely didn’t help them dry the sweat they’d worked up while rehearsing.
“Having a hot flash?”
Lorain looked into the mirror to see Ivy coming out of a stall behind her. It wasn’t until then that she realized Ivy hadn’t been in the viewing room, taking part in the discussion they’d all just had.
“Something like that,” Lorain said, grabbing a paper towel and patting her face dry.
Ivy walked over to one of the sinks and began washing her hands. She eyed a visibly discombobulated Lorain the entire time.
“Are you okay?” Ivy almost sounded sincere.
Lorain nodded.
Ivy then grabbed herself a paper towel and began drying her hands, all the while staring at Lorain, who looked like a wreck.
“Look, Lorain, I know I can be a witch sometimes to you,” Ivy said. “Well, actually, to everybody.” She chuckled.
Lorain didn’t respond. She balled up her paper towel and listened.
“I don’t want you to take it personally,” Ivy said. “It’s who I am. The way I come at people is pretty much a conscious decision. In other words, I’m a witch on purpose.” Ivy said it without an ounce of shame. She was totally unapologetic. “I love my Gabby, and my other two kids as well. I’m a mother lion. And my own mother taught me that whenever I feel like my cubs are being threatened, I should attack. But you know what? She was wrong. What good mother waits around for her child to be attacked?”
Ivy’s voice was intense as she continued. “You gotta let people know up front whose child not to mess with. You gotta attack first. I call it preventative maintenance. I show up with my claws and fangs showing, ready to battle out of the gate. I need people to know exactly what I’m working with so that they’ll know that under no circumstances do they mess with mine. What they might be able to get away with, with the next child, they better think twice about when it comes to mine.”
Lorain turned and faced her.
Ivy went on. “I watch Animal Planet enough to know that look in a mother lioness’s eyes. That look that dares anyone to mess with her babies. I’ve seen it in my own eyes enough as well. And right now, for the first time, I think I see it in yours too.” She snickered. “I knew that nice little Christian lady, ‘kill ’em with kindness’ garbage was an act.” Ivy put the tip of her index finger between her front teeth, in thought. “Someone must have really done it now to finally bring out the beast in you. I feel like such a failure, considering for months I was incapable of doing so. I must be losing my touch.”
“What are you getting at, Ivy?” Lorain came out and asked.
“I know we’re not the best of friends. But we are a lot alike, you and me. I’m sure you don’t take that as a compliment. But from one lioness to another, if you ever need anything from me, if anybody ever tries to screw with your cubs . . . you just say the word.” Ivy balled up her paper towel, pitched it in the trash, and headed for the door. “But do me a favor, and don’t let anyone know I said all that. They might think I care and have feelings. I got a reputation to keep around here, got a cub of my own to protect.” Ivy winked and then walked out.
Lorain shook her head at the thought that she was anything at all like Ivy. Ivy was the type of mother who pounced before she even smelled danger. She looked over at the door that had closed behind Ivy seconds ago. Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing, Ivy letting folks know that if they messed with her Gabby, they were messing with the wrong one. Preventative maintenance.
Lorain looked at herself in the mirror, staring into her own eyes. In the past, she’d tried the “kill ’em with kindness” thing, but obviously, someone like Ivy could see right through it, and so she’d chanced being eaten alive. She’d bitten her tongue and hidden her fists in her pockets one time too many. Was it possible that Ivy had given her that little golden nugget at the perfect time? Because God knew that Lorain was about to enter the wild and be in the fight of her life in an attempt to protect her baby cubs. Well, this time tomorrow, she’d find out.
Chapter 23
“Where have you been?”
“Oh, God!” Lorain almost jumped out of her skin as she grabbed her heart. “Jesus Christ, Nicholas! You scared me.” It was late into the evening, and Lorain was just now walking in the front door of her home.
“Not as much as you scared me, I’m sure,” Nicholas said as he walked through the foyer toward Lorain. He was in his pajamas. “It’s ten o’clock at night. Your mom said that you weren’t here when she got the girls off the bus and that you hadn’t been back home since.”
“I, uh, well, yeah,” L
orain said. “I was doing wedding stuff.” She wasn’t lying completely. She had been doing wedding stuff, stuff for the surprise ceremony she was planning for Nicholas. But that wasn’t the only activity that had occupied her into the late hours of the night.
“Really?” Nicholas shot her a peculiar look. “With Unique?”
Lorain thought for a moment as Nicholas stood, glaring her down, waiting for much-deserved answers. No answers were coming fast enough. At least not truthful ones.
“Yes, Unique.”
“That’s funny, because your mother called Unique, looking for you. She said she hadn’t talked to you all day.”
Lorain was so busted, but she’d started down the path of lying, and now she had to stay on it. “Well, I didn’t actually do wedding stuff with Unique. Perhaps I should reword it. I did wedding stuff for Unique. Stuff for Unique’s wedding.”
Nicholas slowly nodded his head. “Oh, I see. Stuff like what?”
“Well, you know. Girl stuff. Wedding stuff. It’s late. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that kind of thing.” Lorain wagged her hand as she headed for the steps.
Nicholas grabbed her by the arm. Lorain stopped in her tracks and looked down at Nicholas’s hand around her arm. It wasn’t a tight grip or anything. But the look in his eyes told the story that he was not about to be played for a fool.
“Sure I do. I love hearing about your day. Come on. Let’s go over to the couch and talk.”
Lorain looked back up, and Nicholas pulled his hand away. “It’s late,” Lorain reiterated. I’m tired. I had a long day. I don’t want to sit down here and talk on the couch. If you want, we can engage in our usual pillow talk.” Lorain didn’t want to give Nicholas the opportunity to insist they remain downstairs to talk. She proceeded up the steps.
Nicholas followed behind her. “Aren’t you going to eat?” he asked.