Wild Heat (Northern Fire)

by Lucy Monroe

  Which made her initial worries that he wanted to cut back on their nights together for any other reason than the one he stated a little irrational, didn’t it?

  But then she never would have considered Tack capable of cheating. Only, could it be called that when the sexual relationship between them was unequivocally no-strings?

  Not really a relationship at all. Not something that could be cheated on.

  She didn’t want to think Tack would do that to her, but would he see it the same way?

  They had a sex-for-eating deal that he’d gone to great lengths to make sure she understood was casual and had no hope of being anything else. No emotional commitments. No expectations or hopes of a future together.

  Now that she thought about it, was there even a point in having the discussion she’d planned? She’d wanted to talk to Tack about the call from Nevin as well, as a friend, but were they even that?

  The potential answers to those questions hurt too much for Caitlin to keep dwelling on them. Though she wasn’t sure she could stop.

  At least now she had her answer to where he got his casual sex partners in the summer when he was too busy to go to Anchorage. Women from the cruise ships.

  Her stomach roiled.

  The prospect of her Taqukaq having sex right that minute with some faceless, nameless woman in her cabin on one of the huge cruise ships in the harbor filled Caitlin with dread. Acid churned with increasing intensity inside her as image after image of Tack with another woman invaded her brain.

  It didn’t matter that they were just her imagination, that she didn’t know if he’d taken the woman up on her obvious intention to offer. Caitlin’s stomach rebelled like it hadn’t in months and soon she was rushing to the toilet, where she was sick for the first time since coming to Cailkirn.

  The uncontrollable nausea scared her more than the prospect of seeing Nevin face-to-face did. Because while she’d still struggled with eating enough, Caitlin had managed to control this part of her eating disorder since before coming back to Alaska.

  The prospect she was backsliding sent her into a full-blown panic attack, which brought on another bout of dry heaves along with all the other symptoms at debilitating levels.

  She didn’t know how long it took her to bring herself back under control, but eventually her stomach stopped seizing. Her breathing returned to a semblance of normal, but every muscle in her body ached from involuntary contractions.

  She’d managed to get herself into a sitting position against the wall when she heard noises in the outer office. Had Tack come back finally?

  Unwilling to be caught in such a state, she pulled herself together. Drawing a mental barrier around emotions too raw to share with a man who showed no interest in revealing his own, she stood up and washed her face with cold water. There was nothing she could do about her pale face or the haunted look in her eyes, though.

  The sound of Egan’s and Bobby’s voices came through the bathroom door. A sense of reprieve mixed with acute disappointment inside her. Regardless of both, she prayed the men would leave without realizing she was still there.

  She’d locked the front door and dropped the blinds already, since technically no one was supposed to be in the office to handle walk-ins and she knew she’d get more work done without random interruptions.

  From potential clients or locals stopping in to say hello.

  The sound of the back door closing indicated her hopes had been answered. Cautiously opening the bathroom door, she looked out to an office cast in shadow by the blind-covered windows and turned out lights.

  Caitlin went to her desk and discovered another stack of survey forms filled out along with the paperwork from the afternoon’s tours. She might as well take care of them now.

  Caitlin wasn’t waiting for Tack to come back for his truck.

  She wasn’t.

  She couldn’t even pretend to believe the lie an hour later when she’d finished with the input and filed the paperwork.

  Collapsing into her chair, she stared at the computer screen. What was she going to do?

  Could she keep seeing Tack when he was having sex with other people? No. Not even a remote possibility.

  She couldn’t be sure he was seeing other women, though. Part of her simply refused to believe Tack would go from her to another woman, no matter what his reputation was, no matter how many random hookups he usually had with different women during tourist season.

  But even if there was a reason for him not to have come back for his truck, other than taking the hottie up on the invitation Egan and Bobby were so sure she’d make, that didn’t mean he loved, or ever would love, Caitlin.

  Needing an answer to at least one question roiling through her mind, Caitlin picked up the phone off her desk and called Tack’s cell.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  He picked up on the third ring. “What do you need, Egan? I’m busy.”

  She tried to talk, but nothing came out except air.

  “Egan, damn it, I’m with someone.”

  “It’s Caitlin.” Her voice came out low, but at least she got the words past her tight throat.

  “Kitty? What are you still doing in the office? Do you need a ride home? I’m pretty sure Da’s still in town. He was picking up some stuff for Gran.”

  “I don’t need a ride.” She didn’t comment on the fact that Tack was obviously too busy to pick her up himself.

  “Okay.”

  The silence stretched and she realized he was waiting for her to tell him why she called.

  “I called because—”

  “Look, it wouldn’t be a good idea to get together tonight.”

  Each word felt like the sharp stab of a stiletto blade, but she wasn’t taking anything for granted, no matter how damning the implications of his conversation so far.

  “I need to know the parameters of our nonrelationship,” she forced out, not really caring if she was putting him in an awkward situation.

  “Right now isn’t a good time to talk about this.”

  “Just answer one thing.”

  “Kit—”

  “Are we having sex with other people?”

  “You want to have sex with someone else?” he yelled.

  He wouldn’t sound so upset if he was with another woman, would he? Some men had double standards about that kind of thing. Women, too, she was sure. But not Tack. She wouldn’t believe it of him.

  She let out a little breath of relief. “That’s not what I said.”

  “Then what the hell is this about?” he demanded.

  “Egan and Bobby said there was a hottie after you in your tour group today.”

  He swore. “Hold on a second, Kitty.” She heard muffled words as he spoke to whoever he was with and then he said, “I’m back.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t know what else to say.

  “I didn’t take Lisa up on her very blatant offer.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I would never disrespect you that way.”

  “But what we’re doing, it’s just casual, right?”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “It’s what you said it could be. You don’t want anyone to know.”

  “You know why.”

  “Yes.” Because he didn’t want their families getting their hopes up for something that would never happen.

  Her heart cracked just a little more.

  “Listen, even if it’s just friends with benefits, we are friends and I wouldn’t hook up with another woman before we both knew exactly what to expect in that regard.”

  “That doesn’t make me feel any better,” she admitted with more honesty than she wanted to give, but not as much as she could have.

  “Look, Kitty, I don’t need sex with anyone else.”

  “But we’re not doing it every night now.”

  “I don’t know what my brother told you—”

  “Bobby’s the one who said you’re a cruise ship Casanova.”

  “Nic
e. Little shit. Anyway, cruise season is busy as hell and I don’t have the inclination or energy to go for more than one hookup a week, if that.”

  “Oh.” Even cutting back, they were having sex significantly more often than that.

  “Are we okay on this now?”

  “What reason did you give the hottie for not taking her up on her offer?”

  “She wasn’t that hot, wildcat. Sure as hell didn’t turn me on like you do.”

  “Good.” Caitlin waited in silence for him to answer her question.

  “I told her maybe some other time,” he said in a frustrated tone. “Are you happy now?”

  “Not really, no.”

  “What did you want me to say? That I have a casual sex partner already?”

  “No.” But what else could he have said? “Never mind, Tack. I need to get to the Knit and Pearl.”

  “Look, I’ll pick you up at the usual time tonight.”

  For another casual hookup? “No.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “You want to come to dinner with my family?”

  “You know I don’t come to the B and B for dinner during tourist season; besides, I have plans tonight.”

  With his family. “Cancel them.”

  “I don’t like ultimatums, Kitty.”

  “Me neither.” But what else had he been giving her since he offered the first kiss if she’d eat lunch? “I’ll talk to you later, Tack.”

  “Wait, Kitty—”

  “Just go back to whoever you’re with.”

  He let out a frustrated breath. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  “Take care,” she said, not agreeing one way or another.

  “Get some sleep tonight, sweetheart. You’re going to need a clear head for our discussion.” He cut the connection before she could reply.

  That didn’t mean she was going to do what he said. Get sleep—she wasn’t sure that was possible, or talk to him tomorrow.

  She wasn’t ready. When they talked, she was pretty sure she’d have to break off their sexual relationship. And as much as it hurt to be in it, it was going to devastate her to end it.

  But it wouldn’t destroy her. She didn’t think. Caitlin had to step back before she got to a place where it would.

  * * *

  Tack stomped back into the house where he’d left Cian hanging in his great room. “That was Kitty.”

  “I figured.”

  Tack grimaced. “Yeah.”

  “Bad call?”

  “Egan and Bobby opened their big mouths about a woman on my tour today who was looking for another notch in her cruise cabin bedpost.”

  “Pissed?” Cian asked in that cryptic way he had.

  “Kitty was something. She wanted to get together.”

  “Now.”

  “Yes.”

  Cian frowned. “You told her no.”

  “Yeah. I need to think things through and it’s not my big head I’m thinking with when she’s around.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “What?”

  “Your heart, not your dick.”

  Shit, Cian was right. “She was all about how the sex is just casual.”

  “Then why call?” Cian’s tone implied Tack was stupid.

  “I don’t know. I told her we could get together later. She refused.”

  Cian shook his head. “Idiot.”

  “Hell, I asked you over to talk this out, not have you call me names.”

  “You want my opinion?”

  “Yes.”

  “You screwed up.”

  “Thanks, that’s helpful,” Tack said sarcastically.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “How did I screw up?”

  “She wanted more, you refused her.”

  Tack stared at his cousin. The man didn’t get verbose unless he was drunk, but the few words he spoke were profound sometimes. This was one of them.

  “Well, shit. You’re right.”

  “Often am.”

  “Don’t get cocky.”

  “When a man’s got reason…” Cian let the words trail off, his meaning clear.

  Tack managed a laugh despite the tightness in his chest. “I told her we’d talk tomorrow.”

  “Stupid.”

  “Yeah, I’m starting to get that. I should just go over to the B and B and talk to her.” Only if he was wrong, if the more Kitty wanted wasn’t the more Tack needed, he didn’t want the whole town knowing she’d rejected him.

  Again.

  “Kitty’s stubborn.” Cian took a swig off his longneck.

  “You think I should give her time to cool off.” She hadn’t sounded angry, though.

  “No.” Cian looked at Tack like he was a few eggs short of an omelet. “She’ll dig her heels in deeper.”

  “She didn’t sound mad.”

  Cian dismissed that with a flip of his hand. “Why’d she call from the office?”

  “She never said.”

  “She waited for you.”

  Shit. “You’re right.” She’d waited for him. She’d told him no to sex but made it clear she wanted to see him for dinner.

  Even if the more she wanted wasn’t everything he needed, it was about more than sex and he’d screwed up, big-time.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Go to the Knit and Pearl.”

  Cian’s expression turned smug. “Thought so.”

  “Don’t be a know-it-all shit.”

  “Wasting time arguing with me.”

  Tack was still muttering about his cousin’s attitude when he started his truck and peeled out of his drive. Cian would close the house up.

  Tack arrived at the Knit & Pearl before dinner and went in through the front door, wanting to see Kitty first if possible. Miss Elspeth was sitting at the reception desk.

  That was unusual this time of night. She’d normally be in the parlor entertaining the guests before dinner.

  “Good evening, Miss Elspeth,” Tack said.

  She jumped as if startled, then looked at him like he was one of the apparitions the sisters claimed haunted the B&B. “Oh! Well, hello, Tack.”

  He’d been quiet coming in, not wanting to alert the people in the parlor to his presence until he figured out if Kitty was in there with them. But he hadn’t been silent.

  “Is everything okay, Miss Elspeth?”

  The older woman looked down at the phone like it was a snake and then back up to Tack. “I don’t know. I really don’t. I was so proud of her. She stood right up to him, but she’s not doing well today. I thought standing up to him was good for her, but she said she wasn’t hungry…was going to bed early. That’s not good, is it? I’m not going to let her answer the phone again. If he calls, he’ll get an earful from me.”

  “Miss Elspeth, who are you talking about?”

  “Nevin Barston.” She said like his name was a curse.

  Tack’s jaw locked. “He called?”

  “Last night.” Miss Elspeth nodded. “She handled it so well.”

  “But she’s not doing as good today?”

  “Oh no. I don’t understand it. Do you think he called her at MacKinnon Bros. Tours today too?”

  “No way for Barston to know she’s working for us.”

  “He’s evil.”

  Tack wasn’t going to argue that, but it didn’t make the man omniscient. “Where is she?”

  “Up in her room.”

  “You go visit with your guests. I’ll make sure Kitty doesn’t take any upsetting phone calls.”

  “If he calls again, you’ll tell him what for, won’t you?”

  “He’ll know not to call again.”

  “Oh, thank you.” Miss Elspeth headed to the parlor.

  Tack climbed the stairs, knowing Kitty’s room would be the same one she’d had as a child. Miz Moya had told him they’d never used it for guests, not in all the years Kitty had been in California.

  He knocked firmly on her door but was unsurprised when she didn’t answer.
<
br />   The knob turned easily in his hand, though, and he pushed the door open. “It’s me, Kitty.”

  Her light was off and the sun-blocking shades were over the window, but he could make out the shape of a Kitty-sized lump in the center of the bed.

  “Come on, wildcat. I know you’re not asleep.”

  “Go away.”

  “Not going to happen.”

  He flipped the wall switch, flooding the room with light from the overhead fixture.

  Kitty lay curled around her pillow, glaring up at him, her eyes red from crying, and he felt like the biggest asshole ever.

  Then he recognized her nightgown and it wasn’t red lace. “You stole one of my shirts?”

  “You haven’t missed it.”

  “No, but I’ve been missing you.”

  She was up and out of the bed in a flash, stomping right up to him so she could poke him in the chest. She liked doing that. “Don’t lie to me, Taqukaq MacKinnon.”

  “You’re not skipping dinner, Kitty.”

  “You can’t tell me what to do.” She poked him with every other word.

  “We’ve got a deal.”

  Her eyes narrowed even farther and Tack wondered why Nevin Barston wasn’t scared as hell of this wildcat. “You can take your deal and stick it right up your as—”

  He didn’t let her finish, grabbing the hand pointing at Tack and using it to yank her to him so he could kiss her. She resisted for about two seconds and then she went up like dry tinder, throwing herself into the kiss with an angry passion that gave him hope.

  They were both breathing heavily when he pulled back. “We are going downstairs and having dinner with your gran and aunts. You can wear my shirt or put on some clothes. Either way, you are coming with me.”

  “Don’t you think they’ll know there’s something between us when I come to the table in your shirt and it’s only over your shoulder?” she demanded in a nasty tone that gave him an inexplicable urge to grin.

  “They’re going to figure it out when I tell them you’re coming home with me and not coming back until after work tomorrow.”

  “What?” Kitty demanded, her voice going high.

  “You heard me.”

  “But we’re a big secret.”

  “Not after tonight we aren’t.”

  “What if I don’t go home with you?”

  “Won’t matter. The secret’s already out.”