A Dangerous Love 6: A Thug's Heart

by J Peach

  “Can you chill the fuck out fah a second? Damn!” Finally pulling away, I didn’t move from him like I really wanted. “I ain’t think yo ass was gon’ act like this about the shit.”

  “Blaze, I’m acting like this because you didn’t come and talk to me.”

  “How the fuck was I supposed to talk to yo ass about shit when yo ass was all over that fuckin’ nigga?” He snapped. It was typical Blaze.

  “Blaze, if you wanted to talk to me, you could’ve. Hell we talked the whole time you came over, so what are you talking about? How could you not talk to me? You just didn’t want to. Now isn’t the time or the place to have this conversation, okay? Let’s pay for this stuff and get to your moms.”

  Blaze let out a heavy breath then picked the bike up by the handle bars. “I’ight, man, let’s go.”

  If Blaze thought he could control me by using Blake, he had another thing coming.

  ***

  “So you’re telling me that little boy is yours?” Bianca pointed toward the kitchen were Blake was standing next to Brittany. She then looked at me before she once again turned her glaring face to her son. “Of course he’s yours! He looks just like yo dumb ass. Two years, Boon? And you said nothing!”

  “Ma, I didn’t know, still wouldn’t have if Peaches ain’t tell me.” Blaze explained but Bianca didn’t care whether he knew or not. She needed somebody to blame for keeping her grandchild a secret and Blaze was that someone.

  “So, I done practically missed everything. His birth, first and second birthday. How the hell you didn’t know you got some trick pregnant, Booney? You didn’t know because yo ass too busy stuck to these fuckin’ streets,” she fussed.

  “I didn’t know because the bitch ain’t tell me and I was locked up.” Blaze tried defending himself but that only seemed to make things worse.

  “Why was that, Boon? Why was yo ass locked up?” She yelled at him.

  I felt so out of place that I wanted to just run out, but every time I made a move Blaze was squeezing my damn thigh tightly, indicating that he wanted me to stay my ass right there.

  “His moms snitched on me but we got him—”

  “But I missed two years of his life. Booney, he doesn’t even know who I am.” She snapped just as Blake came running in the room. He came straight in and jumped on my lap. “I have a grandbaby.” Bianca mumbled, finally sitting down.

  “That girl getting on my nerves,” Blake said, tucking himself between me and his daddy. Gazing down at him, I laughed. “Hit her,” he pointed toward the door at Britt who was walking in the living room.

  I bent down and whispered in his ear. “I wish I could hit her but your dad will get mad. Tell him to do it.”

  Blake shook his head no, vigorously.

  “He’ll do it, tell him.” I nudged him forward.

  Looking at his dad, he mumbled, “Can you hit her?”

  “I’ll get her when you not looking, okay?” Blaze lied. He wasn’t going to do shit.

  Looking at Britt, Blake stuck out his tongue.

  “That little boy bad, I’m about to whoop his little butt.” Britt snapped, walking toward us.

  I wanted her to try. I was going to have a reason to beat her shit starting ass.

  “Man, you better sit yo ass down some damn where,” said Blaze.

  “No, Boon he just called me a bitch.” Britt said.

  Well, he didn’t lie.

  Feigning shock, I looked at him. “Blake, you didn’t?” I asked.

  “She was getting on my nerves,” Blake said. Those light brown eyes of his were wide as he pointed at her.

  “Well, stop getting on his damn nerves and he wouldn’t have to cuss at yo stupid ass,” said Blaze, defending his little man.

  “Yeah, stupid ass!” Blake jumped in.

  Blaze’s head snapped around and he voice deepened, sternly. “Boy, watch yo damn mouth before I wash it out with soap or slap you in it.”

  Now, it was my time to jump in. “You don’t have to cuss at him. He’s just a kid who doesn’t know any better. It’s other ways to get a point across besides threatening him.” I pulled Blake into my side, protectively. “Dang, Blaze, he's just a kid,” I emphasized once more.

  “Yeah, he's just a kid, but he's my kid? Wasn’t you just bitchin’ about not wanting to do this? So, shut the fuck up. I talk to him the way I do. Don’t fuckin’ tell me how to talk,” Blaze snapped, snatching Blake from me.

  “Blaze, you need to calm down,” said Bianca.

  “N’all, fuck that—”

  “Blaze, let’s go talk. Blake, go sit with your grandma.” Reaching into my purse, I grabbed the Android tablet we got from Toys R Us, handing it to him. “Go show her how to play the games and we’ll be right back. Okay, sweetie?”

  Blake pulled away from Blaze and came to me. “Can I come with you?” he asked while smiling. I picked him up then walked toward Bianca.

  “I’m not going anywhere I’m just going to talk to your dad for a minute. I’ll be right back,” I assured him while trying to hand him to Bianca but he had locked his tiny arms around my neck.

  “Come on, Blake. Come teach me how to play the games.” Bianca stood to get him but he shook his head no. He turned his head and buried his face against my neck.

  “Blake, baby, come on. I’ll be right back and grandma got ice cream.” Bianca shook her head no. “You can ride your bike,” I added.

  “I don’t wanna stay here,” he whined.

  “Blake, get yo ass down and go sit with my mom, damn boy.” Blaze snapped, trying to grab Blake. This time I did hit him. Blake’s head was tucked in my neck so he couldn’t see.

  “Yo son or not, I don’t care. You don’t have to talk to him like that or be rough with him. Whatever yo problem is you better calm yo’self down because you don’t have nann ‘nother time to try manhandling him or I’m gon’ hurt you— that I promise.” Pulling away from Blaze, I grabbed my purse, took out my brass knuckles and slipped them on. “Blaze, don’t play with me. Now go do something to calm yo’self down. Yo stupidity is not gon’ be shown in front of this baby.”

  Whether he was my son or not didn’t matter, Blaze wasn’t gon’ be a dick to him or me. And, I was not about to allow him to teach his son the wrong shit, by the way he acted in front of him. In fact, I told myself that this was the first and last time we were going to argue or fight in front of this child.

  Seeing that I was dead serious, Blaze left out the room like a big ass kid slamming the front door as he went.

  “Blake, hold my purse I’ll be right back, I promise. You got a juice in there and if you look real good you might find some candy at the bottom.” Finally managing to pry Blake off me, I handed him my purse but he didn’t want it.

  “No, I wanna go. I don’t wanna stay here!” He cried, wiggling in Bianca’s arms.

  “Go, he’ll be alright.” Bianca told me. I felt bad for leaving but Blaze and I needed to talk.

  “Okay, Blake, I’ll be right back, I promise.”

  Chapter 10

  Peaches

  I quickly left out the house just in time to hear Blaze starting up the truck. Hurriedly, I made it to the truck and snatched the door open. I looked at him as if he was crazy. “You was not seriously about to leave us here?”

  “Shid, I ain’t needed here. Yo ass got everything under control, right?”

  He was such a fuckin’ asshole! I snatched the keys from the ignition then I hit him.

  “You act like such a fuckin’ bitch sometimes. Yo dumbass do shit then get mad when you called out on it. Don’t every-fuckin-thing revolve around yo black ass. How the fuck you gon’ leave with yo baby in there, without saying shit, Blaze? Yo ass starting to act just like those clingy ass niggas I can't stand. But you slick with your shit.”

  “Peaches, shut the fuck up talkin’ to me and give me my damn keys. I ain’t tryna hear that bullshit, man. You walking yo ass around here pissed off because of a birth certificate? Fuck you, Peaches, boss. I thought
the shit was cool with all that shit you was saying back at club but now that the shit is done and he’s here it’s a whole ‘nother thing, right?” He snapped, pushing me back trying to take his keys.

  “Blaze, you put my name on his birth certificate without talking to me!”

  “Yo ass said we was doing this together, so why the fuck you mad?” Again, I hit him. “Peaches, keep yo fuckin’ hands off me before I slap the shit outda yo dumb ass.”

  “You ain’t gon’ do shit. I never said we were doing this together. I said you weren’t alone and that I’ll be here if you need me. Nothing about what I said should’ve made you think it was okay to go and put my name on a birth certificate. And on top of that you didn’t have the decency to even come and talk to me about it. Blaze, you just did it. How you know this is what I wanted?” I railed.

  “Fuck it, yo. You ain’t gotda worry about it no mo, boss. Yo ass ain’t got to never see his ass again. Fuck it.” Blaze tried getting his keys but I pushed him back. “Peaches, give me my shit. I’ll drop yo ass off—”

  “How you sound? I don’t have to see him no more, really? After putting my name on his birth—”

  “If you gon’ stand here and bitch about it, yeah fuck it. And fuck you. I put yo fuckin’ name on there thinking shit could be good and you could be his moms but n’all you don’t want that. So fuck it.” This man could be so fuckin’ dumb at times and right now is his biggest moment.

  “Blaze, when did we talk about this? Huh? When did we talk about me being his mom? When did we decide to put my name on his birth certificate? When did we talk about any of this?” He didn’t say anything so I hit him. “We didn’t, you just made the decision on your own and now you’re talkin’ ‘bout I ain’t gotda see him? I never said I didn’t want to be around Blake.

  “I’m pissed you choose this for me. What if I didn’t want this and just walked away? You don’t think, Blaze, you just do. To be honest I don’t want any kids right now. I don’t want to start thinking about having kids until I’m well off into my career. But even though that’s not what I want, I would’ve still be here to help you out if you needed me. Blaze, we’re not even together and you’re changing shit.” I had literally fallen in love with Blake from first sight. But I wasn’t planning on being his mom. Maybe the cool aunt or something for now, but not mom.

  I know in Blaze’s head he thought what he did was cool, but that was a decision we both should’ve been a part of.

  “Peaches, I ain’t gon’ ever trust no bitch the way I do you, especially not around my kid. When I had her changing the shit, I ain’t want Leslie name on it. I want him to forget about her completely so shid, yo name was the first I thought of.

  “You right, I should’ve came to you but I ain’t think yo ass was gon’ be pissed about it. I want you to be his moms. You good with him and he already likes yo ass. Us not being together don’t mean shit to me, but I want my little dude to have a strong female in his life and besides my moms, you it. You ain’t gotda want this at the moment but don’t just decide right now that this ain’t what you want. Shid you can still do yo thang and be his moms. Our shit ain’t gon change beside from you sleeping at the house from time to time. Peach, I want you around him, I’m sorry. I should’ve came to you about this. Believe me, this is about the only thing I really thought on before I did it.”

  Then he sometimes sound so grown and mature that I just want to hit him.

  Blaze was on some woman type shit with trying to trap me with this kid. Even if I did fall for Blake, I wasn’t ready to be a mom, taking care of a kid wasn’t on my agenda, which is why I took precaution to not get pregnant.

  I’d be lying if I said hearing Blaze’s explanation didn’t lessen my anger. It was the typical Blaze way of doing things but he needed to know he couldn’t keep making decisions that involved me on his own. He’d have to include me, by discussing things with me.

  “Yeah, I was mad because you didn’t come and talk to me about it first. Given I would’ve said no for the simple fact that we’re not together. I would’ve still been around Blake, though. Because in my head, my role was going to be the super cool aunt who had a thing with his daddy. And that’s because there’s so much more to being a mom, Blaze. Being an aunt, I could come and go as I please. Being a mom, I would have to be around on a daily basis. And I’m not sure I can truly commit to that. After graduation, I plan on going back to school and then with work it’s going to be hard to play mother.

  “That’s why I wish you would’ve talked to me. B, with my schedule this really won’t make me any different from his mom or grandma because he’s barely going to see me and I’m not spending the night at your house. You know that, Blaze. I’m not trying to go back there with you. You made this whole thing way bigger then it needed to be. All you had to do was let me be mad and think on this situation but being the stupid nigga you are, you just had to pick.” Shaking my head, I rubbed my forehead as it started to ache once again.

  “I said I was sorry. What else you want me to say? I don’t do shit like a normal mothafucka. That’s how I always done shit, though. You ain’t gotda do this by yo’self. You know I’m here no matter what?” Blaze said.

  “What?” I asked dumbly, completely lost as to what he was now saying.

  “I mean if you need help looking after yo shorty, I got you?” Blaze stated again.

  “Are you trying to be funny right now?” Blaze nodded his head. “Well, stop because you’re just confused me.” I balled my face up.

  “That’s the point. Peach, man, we might as well work this shit out. I mean we got a baby together. We can’t raise him in two different places, that shit ain’t right. So, tell dude we getting back together and come move in with me.” His face was so serious, his eyes locked with mine, no tell of a lie. Even so, I couldn’t tell if he was sincere or not.

  “Blaze, are you for real?” I questioned him.

  Just like before he nodded, licking his lips as he pulled me to him. “I'm dead ass serious, man. If we gon’ do this, that nigga can’t be around my son. And if he with you, then it’s gon’ happen so you gon’ have to drop that nigga, man. Friends or not.”

  “Nigga, you then lost yo gotdamn mind. Blaze, I’m grown. You don’t tell me who I can see or be friends with. What the fuck is wrong with you? Nigga, this ain’t that. If Ron and I are going be together, that’s between us. You have nothing to do with that.

  “You can’t control me with Blake because at the end of the day you gon’ come calling me before I call on you. Baby, that’s a promise and I wouldn’t bring Ron around Blake without talking to you first. So, this thing, what you’re doing, stop it.

  “B, you had your chance with me and you blew it three times for nothing so from this point on if it don’t involve Blake, my personal life is just that— mine. We have to tell King about him. I can’t keep Blake a secret from King, hell none of my girls. You can trust them.” Blaze didn’t say nothing for a few seconds, so I took that as a sign he had nothing else to say. “I’m going back in.” I moved away from him and started walking back to the house.

  “Aye, hold off on telling King and if you tell yo friends I’m trusting yo judgment on them,” he said.

  I turned to face him. “They wouldn’t say anything. As for King I can tell you now he didn’t put a hit out on you. Like he said, what would he gain? Think about it, Blaze. What would he? He have just as much as you do, if not more. You both work different cities in this state—hell in different states.

  “Plus, with the way you two go at it, King makes it obvious he’s not scared of you. He has pulled his strap on you so many times so if he wanted you dead, believe me King would’ve killed you by now. No matter how much y’all fight or threaten each other, King is loyal to you as a friend. That’s how we were raised.

  “Why do you think I’ve stuck with yo ass so long, still sticking by you? Just like King you’re a lot of things but you’re honest. Sometimes—anyways. But that’s what I respect a
bout you, Blaze. Just think about it, that night we met outside of Voodoo and you asked King was I his girl, he could’ve lied and said yeah or told you I was just a friend like he tells everybody else. Instead he told you who I was then brought you to my house.

  “If King didn’t trust you, ain’t no way in hell he would’ve done none of that. He wouldn’t play with my life, let alone let us date. I’m twenty-four and you’re my first boyfriend, again that’s saying a lot. Sam, I can’t speak on because I really don’t know too much about him besides he seemed cool. But he lie like a bitch. I'm not saying he ain’t loyal to you, I’m simply saying I don’t know him like you do. Y’all been boys for a while so you should know who’s real or not. Then, you gotda think what would King gain from your death? Just like with Sam, what would he gain if you’re dead? Think about it before you get trigger happy and start shooting.” We just stood there in silence for a while both lost in our own thoughts.

  Not saying King had more than Blaze, really. But when our dad died, he left the both of us a large amount of money. Plus, King already had money so that was just added to what he had. The money they gave me I never touched, I wanted to be successful on my own without having to use what they gave me unless it was an absolute emergency. But even then I’d still go to King first if it was ever that serious.

  So, money was never an issues and the only other reason King would snake on Blaze would be for his territory. Which wasn't likely to happen because King took over our dad’s cities and got in good with his connect. It just wasn’t a move King would make.

  Sam on the other hand, I really didn’t know too much about. Yeah, he was a liar, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t true to Blaze.

  As if he could read my mind, Blaze said, “Oh, the whole Sam being a liar thing was a misunderstanding. We were drunk when he was telling me, his words got slurred and I started to hear what I wanted to. He didn’t say y’all fuck’d. He told me what happened in the truck and said he wanted to fuck. I somehow twisted those words and beat his ass then did what I did to you. And before you go off, I apologize, Peach, for that shit I did to you. Well, for choking you. I ain’t sorry I slapped yo ass. That shit was foul as fuck and you know that.”