Panahasi

by Lynn Hagen

  Damn, the man sure didn ’t know how to play fair. But if it meant keeping them both alive, Deandre would punch the man again…and again.

  He was not going to be stuck here. He could see the illusions for what they truly were, rotting corpses coming out to play. Anytime fresh meat entered the city, the dead rose, seducing the unsuspecting to their grave.

  That sight made for one hell of a childhood for Deandre. And his fellow warriors wondered why he was a little off. “They are rotting corpses, Clay.”

  “He looked pretty damn hot to me.”

  Deandre narrowed his eyes. “At least wait until I’m not around

  before trying to fuck a corpse.”

  Clay shivered. “Are they really decaying demons?”

  Deandre nodded. “And you just tried to fuck one.”

  Face pale, Clay glanced back at the area where the corpse had just

  been. “Feel free to punch me anytime.” “Keep trying to fuck other peop le when I’m around and I can guarantee a solid punch or two.”

  “Let’s just get out of here.”

  Deandre led Clay down a narrow street, heading toward the entrance to the city. He knew the way. It was just a matter of getting the hell out of here before another zombie came along, or a demon who wanted to take their heads off. Or even a vampire who wanted to tear their throats out.

  Gods, it was good to be home.

  Not really.

  “Uh, I think a few zombies came out to play,” Clay said as he pointed to his left.

  Deandre looked, feeling a growl rip through him. Now the corpses were pretending to be the demon warriors. And they even threw in two wolves.

  He had had enough. There was no way he was letting them get away with impersonating his brethren. They had fought at each other’s side, bonded in the deepest sense, and now they were being made a mockery of.

  He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t see their true forms, but Deandre knew when he was being played with. He was going to kill these bastards.

  “Stay here,” Deandre snarled as he pulled his knife from his thigh sheath. “You want to play, boys?”

  “Deandre,” the zombie imitating Hondo spoke.

  “Shut the fuck up.” Damn, they even sounded like the warriors. Deandre didn’t stop to question why. He began fighting. He was sick and tired of being in this place and just wanted to go home— preferably with Clay.

  “Will you stop, you dumbass?”

  Deandre swung around, slicing a long jagged line down the zombie’s arm, watching as fresh blood spilled.

  Fresh blood?

  Since when did the corpses have fresh blood?

  Oh, shit!

  Hondo was going to kill him for this.

  The demon roared as he grabbed his arm. “You’re going to pay for that, you knuckleheaded dipshit.”

  “Enough!” Panahasi shouted. “He thought you were an illusion, Hondo. We have more important things to worry about than your tiny little cut.”

  “Tiny?” Hondo asked in exasperation as he pulled his hand away, blood dripping from his fingers. “Does this look tiny?”

  “My bad.” Deandre backed away slowly, spun on his heel, and then began racing toward Clay.

  “Your—” Hondo growled. “Don’t think I’ll forget about this.”

  “Let’s stop squabbling and get out of here,” Panahasi ordered.

  Deandre grabbed Clay’s hand, pulling him along. There was no way he was letting the promiscuous man out of his sight. He just might try to fuck another zombie. Deandre was going to have words with the man about respect. They may not be exclusive, and they may have just met, but Deandre planned on fucking this man, not the corpse.

  “Possessive much?” Clay asked.

  “Shut up and follow.” Deandre was mad. He wasn’t sure why, but he was. He had no rights to Clay, but damn, the man could have waited until Deandre wasn’t around before throwing himself at a dead guy.

  Talk about gutting his ego.

  The warriors halted when the ground began to shake. Something very fucking big was heading their way, and Deandre doubted it was a zombie this time.

  “Crypt,” Panahasi said.

  Deandre cursed. Of all the creatures to fuck with them, it had to be Crypt. The thing was gigantic in size, but had a pea for a brain. He may be dumber than dirt, but the thing knew how to fight. Crypt escaped the underworld, and was damn hard to recapture.

  But now?

  Why now?

  Not when he had Clay to protect.

  Deandre had a feeling Crypt didn’t give a shit about Clay, or anyone else.

  * * * * Panahasi grabbed Drake and Casey by their scruffs when his wolf mates starting growling and lunging when they saw Crypt. They had no idea how bad a mistake that was. Crypt could crush them with one hand tied behind his back. The thing may be stupid as hell, but he had massive amounts of strength.

  “No,” he said to both of them. “Trust me, he’s not an illusion.” Panahasi knelt beside his mates. “I want you to guard the human with Deandre.”

  Drake nipped his chin, and then licked it.

  “I’m not calling you a coward, but Clay is only human. He needs protection. Who better than two of my best warriors?” Drake would bite him hard if he knew Panahasi was really too worried for Drake and Casey to fight, but Clay did need watching. That wasn’t a lie.

  He was damn proud of his mates when neither argued, but did as he said. Both wolves trotted to Clay’s side and then turned, taking up post.

  Panahasi turned back toward their very large problem. But as Crypt advanced, Panahasi caught movement. He would have shrugged it off as an illusion, but when the overwhelming blanket of despair surrounded him, he knew exactly who the shadow belonged to.

  Jaden.

  He was either here to watch the fight in the comfort of a shadow, or he was here for Panahasi. Either way, the man wasn’t welcome and Panahasi was going to let the other man know this.

  Panahasi gave his mates the signal to watch Clay as he slipped behind the building they were standing in front of. He wasn’t sure if Jaden was aware that Panahasi knew the man was here, but surprise was on his side if the man didn’t. Scaling the ironwork of the building, Panahasi jumped the last leg and landed silently on his feet, standing on top of the building. He wasn’t surprised when he saw Jaden twenty feet in front of him, a wicked grin on his lips.

  “I knew you felt me.”

  “Like a disease.” He moved to his right, his eyes roaming over the rooftop, making sure Jaden had no one else with him. Panahasi didn’t trust the man. Jaden was the father of deception, the inventor of lies, and the harbinger of death.

  Jaden took a step to match Panahasi’s, a twinkle of amusement in the depths of his inkblack eyes. “It is just you and I…brother.”

  Panahasi ignored the familial ties. He would never claim Jaden as his brother, even though it was true. He would rather die than claim that monstrosity. “Tell me, Jaden. Why now? After so many millennia, why are you coming after me now? And I know better than the reason being my mates.” Panahasi knew it was something deeper. If Jaden really wanted to kill Drake and Casey, he had ample chances. The thought made his demon roar in anger, but Panahasi knew it to be true.

  “Very perceptive, but your intelligence has always been up to par.”

  “Cut the shit, Jaden. You come into my territory thinking to beat me. Explain the madness behind your logic.”

  Jaden’s head bowed and Panahasi didn’t trust the vulnerable move. He was taking his eyes off of Panahasi, giving him a chance to strike. Panahasi was no fool. He stayed rooted to the spot. Jaden lifted his head, and for the first time ever, he saw sorrow in Jaden’s piceous eyes. But then again, the man lived off of deception.

  Panahasi trusted nothing he saw.

  “I am tired, Panahasi. I do not wish to kill any longer. I’m tired of the destruction, the massacres, and the bloodshed.”

  “Hardly. That waswhat you were created for.”

&
nbsp; “Was I?” Jaden asked, placing his hands behind his back. Panahasi’s eyes followed the move, wary of what Jaden may have hidden back there. “That is what we both were told. But if I am such pure evil, then why do I feel…lonely?”

  This was not what Panahasi had been expecting. It had to be a ruse. There was no way Jaden was laying his burdens at Panahasi’s feet. It was a lie, deception at its best. The man felt no remorse, no sympathy for what he did or regret for the lives he had taken.

  “So go find a friend.”

  “Always ready with a witty reply.” Jaden backed up, pulling a blade from behind him. “Let’s see what you will have to say when you kill me.”

  “Not going to happen.” He had mates to get back to. Panahasi had every bit of confidence that his warriors would get his mates out safely. He just wasn’t sure if he would leave here unharmed.

  He could see the raw determination in the other man’s eyes, and knew Jaden had spoken the truth in some part. The man wanted to die.

  “I’m not helping you commit suicide, Jaden.”

  “We’ll see.”

  Panahasi knew he was about to be locked into the battle of his life. The man truly intended for one of them to die, who in turn would kill the other. He had explained this to his mates, and neither were too happy about the checks and balances of the universe.

  That, Panahasi couldn’t help. It was the way things had been since the beginning of time. That was one thing he could not change. He had the power to end the world, but not the man standing in front of him. How ironic.

  Jaden made the first move, lunging at Panahasi, knife clutched in his hand. The blade scored Panahasi’s arm, but not deep enough to spill that much blood. Jaden immediately backed away, twirling the knife in his hand and then moving around Panahasi like a predatory cat.

  “You will kill me. Whether you go first, or me, it doesn’t matter. Only the end result is what I’m after.”

  “I will bleed you to within an inch of your life, but not kill you.” His attention was split. Panahasi was worried about his mates, and he knew that was a weak point in his defenses. He had to trust that the warriors would take care of Casey and Drake, but Panahasi trusted no one fully when it came to his wolves. Besides, the biggest threat to them was standing on the rooftop, trying his best to end his life.

  Panahasi hadn’t worked out a plan yet to get Jaden into the underworld, and it looked like his time had run out. He would have to incapacitate the creature in order to get him down there. The warriors needed three for a safe passage into the underworld. Panahasi did not. All he needed was Jaden’s unconscious body.

  How he became unconscious was totally up to Jaden.

  Jaden lunged again, and Panahasi found himself fighting for his life. Punches were thrown, kicks and jabs were used, and Jaden even resorted to biting, but Panahasi refused to let the man stab him. His powers were useless, but Panahasi knew he had more than enough strength to hold his own.

  Jaden spun free, but instead of falling like he should have, he doubled back and plunged the knife he had into Panahasi’s gut. Panahasi used every ounce of strength he had to push past his pain. He had to knock Jaden out. That was the only way it would work.

  Until Jaden threw himself on Panahasi’s poisoned knife.

  “No!” Panahasi shouted. He watched in horror as Jaden fell to the ground, gasping for breath, and knew his nervous system was shutting down. The light began to slowly fade from his eyes.

  Panahasi turned, running for the ledge. He glanced over it to see his mates looking up at him, puzzled looks on their precious faces.

  “I’m sorry,” he mouthed to them right before he was sucked backward into a darkness he knew he would never escape from.

  * * * * A light so bright lit up the night that Drake had to cover his eyes with his paws. It was like a supernova as its illumination burst from the rooftop and shattered the darkness. And in that second, Drake knew what had happened. The small demon inside of him was being ripped from Drake’s very soul, taken away in the most brutal manner.

  Panahasi was dead.

  Casey and Drake howled, fighting with claws and teeth to get to Panahasi. There was no way he was gone. Drake wasn’t going to accept that Jaden had won. Hondo grabbed him, holding on to him with a death grip as he ran toward the entrance of the city, Wayland carrying Casey, his mate fighting just as hard to get free.

  The other warriors were still fighting Crypt, and Drake couldn’t find it in him to care any longer about the battle.

  As they exited the city, Drake gave up his struggle and fell limp in Hondo’s arms, knowing he would never get past the pain ripping his chest apart.

  Panahasi was gone, and Drake hadn’t even told the man that he had loved him since before he was born.

  * * * * Panahasi opened his eyes, a velvety blanket of darkness surrounding him. He was nowhere and everywhere. He could feel the void of the world in his blood, simmering just under his skin.

  “You killed Jaden.” The disembodied voice whispered through his mind. “Why? Did you not remember that his destruction was also yours?”

  “He forced my hand.” It was the truth. Panahasi would have never voluntarily left his mates. His chest felt as if a heavy weight were crushing it as he thought of Casey and Drake living without him. The warriors would make sure they were well taken care of, but it wasn’t the same.

  Panahasi wanted to dance with them again. He wanted to laugh and make love to both men. He hadn’t even had a chance to answer any of Drake’s questions, and he was going to miss the fire in Casey’s eyes when the man’s stubborn streak shone brightly.

  “How?” the voice echoed in his mind. Instead of telling the primal source, he used images to show it the battle on the rooftop. He also showed the source his mates, their courage, their beauty, and now their lives without him.

  “You have mated?” Panahasi nodded, wondering but knowing that it wouldn ’t make a bit of difference. He was dead, but not. He could never truly die. He was life. But he would be stuck in this vacuum of a void for all eternity, watching, but never being a part of anything.

  The pain was so raw that Panahasi wished Jaden had really killed him. He didn’t want to live without his mates. His arms were already aching to hold them once more.

  “You love them.”

  “I do,” he whispered sadly.

  “Then why did you take Jaden’s life?”

  Panahasi opened his mouth to correct the source, when he closed

  it. He remembered the fight vividly, and he knew that in the end, he had purposefully held the knife out, knowing what Jaden would do. He had killed himself in his rage to kill Jaden.

  He was to blame for leaving his mates.

  “I was tired of the fight,” he admitted. “I wanted Jaden to leave my mates alone, even if I had to die to protect them.”

  The silence stretched on. Panahasi had thought the source had left him.

  “You killed yourself to keep them safe?”

  “Safe from the biggest threat known to them, yes.”

  Silence.

  “And what would you give to be able to see your mates?”

  It was a trick question. The way the primal source worded the question could be construed in so many different ways. “Anything,” he answered honestly.

  “Even if I sent you back in another body? Even if I told you that you could never interact with either shifter again?”

  The pain shot through Panahasi’s soul to think of seeing Drake and Casey but not allowed to touch, not allowed to talk. Always watching, but never in their lives. “Yes.” He would rather live in torture of seeing them, but never approaching them, rather than spend eternity in darkness and slowly forgetting their faces.

  “If you return, so does Jaden. Balance must always be kept.”

  “But what of his death wish?”

  “Gone.”

  Just that simple. Panahasi wished the primal source had intervened in the first place. None of this would be happen
ing if it had.

  “You would sacrifice everything, even your sanity, for just one chance at seeing them again?” The primal source sounded confused, as if it couldn’t grasp the concept of what being mated was all about.

  “In a heartbeat.”

  “Why?”

  It dawned on Panahasi that although the primal source was a sentient creature, it had no concept of love, happiness, or joy. It just was. How, he wasn’t sure, but he knew in that moment that it would never fully understand what being mated felt like, or the joys it could bring. The bond was strong, unbreakable, and the most sacred thing between the men who loved one another on a deeper level.

  “Because I love them. They are my soul, my heartbeat, and my existence. Without them, I am nothing.”

  “Interesting.”

  Silence.

  Panahasi sat, pulling up images of his mates. Although there were not as many as he would like. He smiled at the pool game he had thrown. Never would he tell Drake that he didn’t want to keep them on lockdown. That it hurt his heart to see them so miserable.

  A chuckle slipped from him as he remembered the shocked looks on Casey’s and Drake’s faces when he danced like a disco pro. They never had expected it.

  And Casey’s laughter…priceless.

  He wanted to feel the heat of their skin once more, the touch of their fingers, or the whispered words of encouragement as he slid deep inside their bodies. Panahasi ached on the deepest level to kiss both of them once more. To look into baby-blue or whiskey-brown eyes and see the love shining in them.

  “You truly do love them.”

  Panahasi wiped a tear from his cheek as he nodded. “More than my own life.”

  “What would you give to be back with them?”

  “Anything,” he said without pause.

  “We shall see.”

  Panahasi blinked and found himself back on the rooftop, Jaden circling around him. He wasn’t sure how it happened, but he was here. He had another chance. He threw the knife in his hand as far as he could. It made a clattering sound down below. “I will not kill you.”