by Tracy Kiser
“Yes, we.” Lana met her boyfriend’s gaze once again. How could she make him understand that she needed his help? Would he let her down? Her heart sped up, the beating in her chest resonating like drums. The electricity of her nerves shooting through her entire body. She felt like crying, but blinked back the forming tears. Lana knew that she had to stay strong. If this adventure was going to yield any positive results, she had to stay strong. “Aiden, you’re the only one who can help me. You’re great at the whole cartography aspect. Me and maps…yea, not good. I figured if we go back through the other entries we can figure out exactly where he was going. Then we’ll know where to start looking.”
Lana saw the hesitation still clouding Aiden’s green eyes. “This,” she began, laying her hand on the logbook, “is something that those coast guards never had. They never knew where to look for my dad. This is the key, Aiden, can’t you see that? This is what everyone needed to find him. And now, we have it. I know my dad sent it to me so that I would know where to start searching. You have to believe this, Aiden. You have to. I really need your help.” Lana fought hard to keep the tears back and the rasp out of her voice. Was Aiden really going to leave her alone in this endeavor? First Lana’s mother tells her she’s being crazy, then Danny doesn’t know anything so he can’t help, and now Aiden.
Aiden shook his head, “Lana we can’t waste time chasing ghosts,” he whispered. Aiden dropped his head. How could he say yes to help her when he feared that all of this would lead to a huge let down, perhaps the biggest let down of Lana’s life? Could he watch her break down when all of this turned out to be nothing but a dead end? Aiden closed his eyes and the image of Lana blinking back tears just a moment ago tore at his heart. Should he be there for her no matter what? Or tell her that this is a bad idea? Aiden knew Lana was stubborn. She’d probably try to do everything alone if he told her he couldn’t help.
“But he’s alive, Aiden. I know it.” Her voice broke through all the words that were tumbling around Aiden’s mind and he knew what he had to do.
“I can’t believe I’m going to do this,” he sighed, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, praying that he wouldn’t regret this. “You better know how important you are to me,” Aiden teased, attempting to lighten the mood so those unshed tears would disappear from Lana’s eyes.
“Really?” Lana nearly screamed, feeling as if she had just won the lottery. “Oh my God, thank you, thank you. I know we can do this.” Lana pulled the logbook close to her chest, inhaling the smell of the ocean that drifted from it. “We’ll start going through the entries tonight. Right now, let’s eat. I’m starved.” The joy coursed through Lana’s body. Aiden hadn’t let her down. How could she ever have thought that he wouldn’t help her do this? She knew that he believed in her and was so ecstatic at the thought of him helping her find her father. Lana smiled at the thought of her and Aiden having an adventure together and took a bite of her turkey and Swiss sandwich.
She smiled the rest of the meal.
She even left the deli smiling.
* *
“Look at this page,” Lana slid the logbook closer to Aiden. They’d been flipping through pages for the last hour and a half, laying on her bed. The couple had gone over and over almost every entry, attempting to collect the information that would lead them in the right direction. The letters on the pages were badly blurred in some spots. In other spots, it seemed as if the page had never been wet. Overall, they had only been able to decipher about half of what Lana’s Dad had written.
Aiden’s eyes skimmed the letters that lay just above where Lana’s finger indicated. “Wait, what is this?” Aiden leaned in closer as if when he lessened the distance from his eyes to the page it would all make more sense.
“That’s what I was talking about.” Lana tapped the center of the page. “These numbers don’t make any sense.” Lana studied the rest of the page, trying to determine what the number referred to, if anything. No, they have to mean something. Lana just had no idea what exactly.
“I don’t know what these mean,” Aiden said slowly. There were two sets of number scrawled in the top margin. If he could make them all out, then maybe he’d have a chance of figuring out why her dad had written them. But the numbers were small, almost illegible, and looked as if they had been written in more than a slight hurry.
“2-6-1-8-4 is that another 4? Point 5 something?” Aiden read off the first set. The water had almost completely erased two of the numbers. Aiden let out a frustrated breath. Lana just stared at the numbers. She felt like this was it. This was the part of the logbook that she was supposed to find. Now, if she could only figure out what they mean…
“This second set has the same number of parts. 7-0-2 eight? Maybe three? 4-9-6-8,” Aiden continued, as if saying the numbers out loud would reveal their underlying meaning.
Lana’s finger moved to the seven in the second set, “Is this a negative sign?” She turned to look at Aiden, shifting her weight on the bed.
Aiden shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea, could be I guess.”
“I don’t get it. These have to mean something. Let’s write them down just in case they pop up on another page.” Lana jumped up to grab a notebook and a pencil from her computer desk. She plopped back down onto the bed, causing Aiden to bounce up a little bit and the logbook to slide to the center of the mattress. Lana placed the notebook on her leg and began writing the numbers out as they appeared on the page, indicating the places where they were unsure of what the numbers actually were.
2 6 1 8 4 4 5 __
?
-7 0 2 8 4 9 6 8
? 3
“Okay moving on,” Lana turned on the next page, her eyes automatically rushing to the top corner. “I wish the dates were still readable on every page. Then we’d at least have a definite timeline.”
“Well we know when your Dad started the logbook and the date of the last entry. That gives us May, June, July, and August first. So everything in here he had to find out in those three months.” Aiden explained logically. Would three months be a long enough history for him and Lana to put all the pieces of this jigsaw adventure together?
“But could he really have found out something in three months to plan a trip that he believed was the most important one in his life? My Dad wasn’t the rushing type. He always planned everything down to a ‘T.’” Lana shook her head, her hair covering her face. She drew her hands up to move the fallen hair out of her face, resting her chin in the palms of her hands, feeling her elbows digging into the mattress. “There has to be more, Aiden. I feel like we’re missing something.”
Lana and Aiden continued to pore over the pages of the logbook. They were both growing more and more frustrated. How could this logbook not be of any help? They hadn’t discovered anything new since they began. The only thing they had were numbers scrawled across a piece of paper.
“Ugh,” Lana sighed. “I feel like we’re not making any progress.” Lana rolled over to look up at the ceiling. If she looked at that logbook for one more minute without finding any clue to where her dad might be then she was going to scream.
“Honey, it’s not like he’s gonna’ spell it out for us. Everything in here, your Dad wrote for a reason. And if your Dad is the one who sent this then he sent it for a reason. We just have to keep looking.”
Lana’s eyes lit up. “You’re right.” She sat straight up in bed, and turned slightly, resting on her hands and looking Aiden straight in the eye.
“I know,” Aiden joked, gesturing as if to ask Lana if she expected anything less from him. He started to laugh but was cut off by Lana, who was being more than slightly serious.
“No, not about that. You said everything in this book is from three months…” Lana began, swinging her hand toward the logbook, which had begun to lose its moldy smell.
“Yea?” Aiden asked, obviously not knowing where Lana was going with this conversation.
“Well, over half of the book is full.�
�
“Lana, you’re rambling,” Aiden laughed. He watched Lana’s thoughts turn inwards, her eyes not showing any hint at what she was trying to say.
She stood up and started pacing her bedroom. Her head hung down as she watched her own feet move across the carpet. Then her head snapped up to meet Aiden’s stare. “Don’t you see? There has to be more,” Lana said as she spread her arms apart as if to indicate how much more.
“More what?”
“Logbooks. My dad had to have more logbooks.”
“How are his old books going to help us?” Aiden asked, trying to imagine how long it would take them to go through hundreds of these logbooks.
“Okay, hear me out,” Lana began, stopping in mid-stride and turning her body toward Aiden.
“Listening.”
“If my Dad thought he discovered a new species, or a new species population then he’d have to write about it in an old logbook. I told you my Dad never rushed things – it’s one of the reasons he was such a great marine biologist. He must have been planning this trip for months, maybe years.” Lana moved closer to the bed and touched the logbook, running her fingers over the initials of her father. “And I think those numbers have more to them. We just have to find the book that tells us what they mean.”
“Makes sense. But where are we going to find the other logbooks?” Aiden asked.
“Attic? Maybe my Dad’s den?” Lana offered, “I just hope my mom didn’t throw them away.” She clasped her hands together and sent up a silent prayer that her mom would never do that.
“Would she do that?” Aiden echoed her thoughts.
“Ten years of searching, hoping, and waiting just to be disappointed. She might have.”
Chapter 7
Aiden and Lana stood in the attic with a single light bulb dangling over their heads causing the light to shift back and forth. They had searched through every dusty box that had been labeled with her dad’s name. So far the couple had found old records, t-shirts, some high school memorabilia, and a box of photographs. No logbooks. Lana swept her gaze over the attic that seemed to hold nothing but good memories.
“Lana, I don’t think we’re going to find them up here. We’ve gone through every box,” Aiden stated softly. He didn’t want to see the disappointed look in Lana’s eyes, but every time the light bulb illuminated her face, it was there.
Lana sat down on the floor and put her head in her hands. She didn’t know where to go from here. They were running out of options. Nothing about sailing had been stored up here. The only other place that Lana could think of was the den. The logbooks could be there, but if they weren’t… It’d be just another dead end. “They have to be here somewhere.”
Aiden went over to Lana and wrapped his arms around her, gently sitting down beside her. “Honey, we will find them. It’s getting late. Let’s call it a night. Tomorrow we can check the rest of the house.”
“You’re right.” Lana picked up her phone and pushed a button to light up the home screen. Her eyes read over the time. “It is nearly midnight.”
The two stood up and walked down the creaky attic stairs. Lana flipped the light off at the bottom step, the fear of failing her father beginning to creep over her.
* *
Lana lay in her bed, the blankets twisted around her legs, staring up at the ceiling. Her mind sped through the last two days on a loop. A constant replay of how she hadn’t been able to find anything that would help her. She knew that she had to find her dad’s other logbooks. Her mind jumped backward in time, bringing back memories that her dad had missed. He hadn’t been there to teach her to drive. Or to hold her hand when she broke her leg at age twelve from falling out of the oak tree in the backyard. He hadn’t been there to teach her to sail, like he promised. It had been Uncle Danny who had ultimately taught her, behind her mother’s back. That kind of secret was for a daughter and father to share. Not that she didn’t think of Daniel as family, she did, but she hated that her dad hadn’t been the one to show her how to tie a sailor’s knot.
Sarah had forbidden Lana to learn how to sail after Tom disappeared. Though, it seemed the only thing that Lana actually wanted to do. Maybe somewhere deep down inside, Lana had known that she would end up here. That she would need to know how to sail so she could save her father. So, with incessant begging and pleading, Daniel had given in and taught Lana how to sail. Daniel had also been the one who taught her how to drive. And he had been the one who held her hand in the hospital. All of the memories she should have had with her dad, Lana had with Uncle Danny.
But there was still time to make memories with her dad, if she could only find him. Lana sighed and pushed back the blankets that covered her, wriggling her legs to free them from the heavy quilt. The clock glowed two thirty a.m. casting a red light over Lana’s bedroom. She rose and put on her house slippers. Then she left her bedroom, no longer able to wait until daylight to continue the search for anything that could lead her to her father.
“The old logbooks have to be in the den,” she whispered to herself as she silently walked down the stairs, carefully avoiding the creak in the middle step.
* *
Lana flipped the light switch up and walked into the den, her eyes squinting from the sudden brightness. She slowly shut the door behind her, being sure to not make any sound that could wake up her mother. Her eyes adjusted and she breathed in the quiet night air. The room was just as her dad had decorated it. It had been his office and his sanctuary. She walked in front of the brown leather couch, making her way to the closet.
She touched the knobs on the double doors and slid them open. The closet was full of coats and the carpeted floor was lined with her dad’s shoes. She had always wondered why her dad had kept his shoes down here instead of in his bedroom. Lana looked up at the boxes neatly stacked on the top shelf of the closet. She reached up and took down the first box. Within ten minutes she had all of the boxes arranged on the wooden antique coffee table in front of the couch.
Deliberately, Lana went through each container searching for any book that looked like it could have been her dad’s journal or logbook. Seventeen boxes later, Lana hadn’t found anything. She let out a deep sigh of desperation and looked over all of the boxes. At least her mother hadn’t thrown anything away. Not that the fact Sarah had kept everything had helped Lana’s search. She carefully re-stacked the boxes in the top of the closet and sat down on the leather couch, allowing herself to sink into the cold soft cushions.
Lana pulled her legs up, leaned back, and rested her feet on the antique coffee table. When her feet touched the wood she heard a small, metal clink. Lana’s eyes darted to the coffee table, examining it in a new way. Lana gently moved her feet. She heard the noise again, almost an echo in the small den. She put her feet flat on the floor and leaned up.
Lana placed her hands on the edge of the coffee table and gently moved the top piece. The coffee table was a large rectangular chest with faux drawers on both sides. The clinking sound rang through the silence, broken only by Lana’s breath. Lana slid her fingers along the underside lip of the top. Her hand stopped on something cool and smooth.
She felt a little piece of metal sticking out and pushed it with her fingers. She heard a click and the top lifted open with ease. The cool smooth metal was a latch. Lana lifted the top until it stayed, making sure that the lid wouldn’t slam close, and then peered at the table’s contents.
The inside was lined with leather books identical to the one she had received in the mail. Lana ran her hand over the spines neatly organized in three rows of ten books. The leather felt familiarly soft and worn beneath her fingertips. Lana’s heart skipped a beat and a smile spread across her face. She had found every single one of her dad’s logbooks, she hoped. Now she just had to find the one, or ones, that explained where her dad had gone on his last trip, and why.
* *
Lana woke up to the sound of knocking on her bedroom door. She felt her body lurch upward and her eyes poppe
d open. Her hands clenched into fists, holding on to the blankets.
“Honey, are you awake?” Her mother’s voice came from the hallway. Lana relaxed. She took a deep breath and released the quilt from her firm grasp. Lana shifted to a sitting up position and waited for her mom to enter her bedroom.
“You can come in, Mom,” Lana said finally. Wondering if she had left anything askew in the den last night. If her mother had gone in there and noticed that Lana had been going through, well, everything, then that would definitely start the questions.
The door opened and Sarah stepped halfway in. Lana held her breath, waiting for the accusations and the questions to begin.
“I’m taking the paintings to the gallery. Are you still coming to the show this evening?” Her mother was wearing a blue sundress. Sarah’s long brown hair fell over her shoulders in tumbling curls. Lana’s eyes widened at how beautiful her mother was.
Lana pushed herself forward a little more. “Yea, me and Aiden were going to come by for at least a little bit.” Lana had forgotten that her mother’s art show was tonight. She knew that it was coming up, but had become completely distracted with her father’s logbooks that she hadn’t realized what day it was.
“Alright dear, I have to set everything up but I should be home by four or so to get ready.” Sarah shifted, smiling at her daughter.
Lana was trying hard to keep her nerves in check. The butterflies in her stomach though, she had no control over how fast they flapped their wings.
“Okay, Mommy, have fun,” Lana smiled as she laid back down, waiting for her mother to leave the room. If her mother was going to be gone all day, then Lana had things to do. Very specific things. She shifted her head on the overstuffed pillow, facing away from her mother.
“Love you Darling,” her mom whispered, moving backwards out of the doorway.
“Love you too, Mom.”
Sarah backed into the hallway and closed the door to Lana’s room. Lana listened for her mother’s feet on the stairway. Clip, clip, clip. Lana shot up in bed, immediately reaching for her cell phone on her nightstand and dialed Aiden’s number. The phone rang repeatedly in her ear. She drummed her fingers on the blanket while she waited.