Snow White: A Survival Story

by Anna J.

  Chancing a look on the other side, we breathed a sigh of relief when all we saw were live crabs clawing at the wall. I couldn’t believe it myself, because as dirty and dark brown as that water was, how could anything survive in it?

  “Yo, I dare you to grab one of them crabs out the water,” Gabriel said to Adam as we watched the crabs fight each other to stay on top.

  A part of me thinks that beside the fact that Adam stayed fly, the reason why Gabriel picked on him so much was because out of all of us, he was the shortest and he wasn’t really a fighter. Adam was too busy trying to stay clean to get into a scuffle. He was also an only child, so unlike most of the other kids that lived in the projects, he didn’t have any brothers or sisters to back him up in a tussle, so he tried to stay cool with everyone.

  “You know that water is too low for him to grab those things,” I said to Gabriel’s hating-ass self, taking a look at him for a brief second.

  “Naw, he can reach them. I’ll hold his legs,” Gabriel insisted.

  “What is you tryin’a do? Catch dinner, man?” Adam joked, not realizing that was a bad move.

  Shit got tense real fast, so I had to say something to keep it from being a damn fight. The thing is, I liked Adam just as much as I liked Gabriel, and I didn’t want to have to choose between the two of them.

  “Whatever, nigga, just come on. And tell your mom I want some extra Old Bay on them shits when she done cooking them,” Gabriel said, positioning himself by the wall to hold Adam over.

  “Yo, nigga, he can’t reach them shits. I don’t want no parts of it,” I said, jumping back from the wall. From what I saw, there was an abandoned car down there and some other nasty shit, but Gabriel was just trying to be a smart ass. Adam was too scared not to do it, so I walked back and stood next to the tree to watch these two idiots try to get some dusty-ass crabs from out the water.

  Leaning against the tree, all I could think about was how mad Adam’s mom was going to be when she saw how dirty his clothes would get from hanging over that wall. I could not believe his simple ass was going through with that shit, but Adam would have to learn to man up one of these days.

  It looked like it was going smooth at first, but after a while, Gabriel started looking like he was losing his grip. Adam was head first over the wall, and he was screaming for Gabriel to pull him back up. He couldn’t get a grip on the wall or the crabs, because the moss made it slippery.

  It felt like I was moving in slow motion as I ran over there to try to help, and just as I approached them, Adam’s feet slipped through Gabriel’s arms and he went face first into the water.

  “What are you doing?” I screamed at Gabriel as I looked on the other side.

  Adam was still lying face down in the water, and a dark cloud of red started to form around his head as he floated on the water. The tide looked like it was threatening to push his body downstream, but it appeared that his shirt collar must have gotten caught on the abandoned car, keeping his body where it was. Gabriel stood frozen with a scared look on his face, and I’m sure my fear matched his as well.

  “Gabriel, go get help! Go get help!” I screamed at him while I kept an eye on Adam’s body, making sure it stayed put. Gabriel stood frozen for a moment longer before he turned and ran at top speed up Gypsy Hill, the name we gave to 56th Street because of the steep hill that led to Bartram’s Garden.

  It felt like an eternity, and by the time Adam’s mom made it downhill, I knew it was too late. Adam was dead. The blood never stopped flowing, and the water just got redder as some of the other adults that came down to be nosey tried to keep Adam’s mom from jumping in to save her boy. Shortly after, we could hear police sirens approaching. I couldn’t stop crying as I was held by my own mother, who appeared out of nowhere.

  There were so many cops and news people by the water that we all had to step back to give them room. When they pulled Adam’s body from the water, his eyes were closed and he had a smile on his face.

  “Yo, nigga, wake ya ass up. It’s time to make moves,” Choice said, nudging my foot as he walked by. I sat up in the chair and wiped my forehead, not believing the amount of sweat that covered my face. I’d been having that nightmare for years, and I couldn’t believe I let myself get so comfortable as to fall into a dead sleep in front of these niggas.

  I jumped up out of my seat and disposed of my trash before I grabbed my cell phone from the table and moved toward the room. It took only two of us to carry the body out, and we made sure we wore gloves so that there wouldn’t be any fingerprints. We placed the body in the trunk and moved down toward Bartram’s Garden. I’d ditched so many dead bodies down there, but never in the water. Adam’s memory wouldn’t allow me to do it, and when Gabriel was murdered down there and strung up on a tree five short years later, I felt no sorrow, because he took his last breaths where Adam took his. It was all Gabriel’s fault, and even though I never snitched on him, I never trusted him again either.

  We drove deep into the woods with only flashlights on either side of the window because headlights would be too bright. Bird and I got him out of the carpet and propped his body up against a tree, where someone would find him stinking days from now. I took the gloves from my hands and Bird’s, and after dropping him and Choice off on the block, I disposed of that shit in the incinerator in the 46th Street projects. I took the gun to a friend of mine that worked at a steel mill. He would melt the gun down like he’d done for me in the past, and there would no traces of it ever.

  Driving back down the way, I parked the whip in front of Choice’s crib, where I still saw Vince’s shit parked, and I got into my own Jeep so that I could take it back on the block. It was one in the morning at this point, and I didn’t even bother to go into the room with Shanyce. Instead, after kissing my son on the forehead, I stretched out on the couch and lay there in the dark, too afraid to close my eyes this soon.

  I could live with the nightmares, but it was the dirt I did that caused them and in reality, I didn’t have too many choices. Once you commit one crime, you’re a criminal for life. This was the life I chose; it didn’t choose me. My only goal was to make it better for my son.

  Journey Clayton

  Snow Day

  I didn’t see Khalid for almost a week after that night because the next day, we were hit with a damn snowstorm that shut the city down for a week. For a child, that’s normally a good thing, because instead of sitting in school all day, we could be outside playing in the snow and making snowmen. Once I found out that Khalid was on punishment, that took a lot of the fun out of it, but when Vince told me that since I didn’t have school I would be spending my time cooking and bagging up product, that killed it for me.

  I didn’t even bother to go to the window when I heard other children outside playing, and when the healthcare worker called and said that she couldn’t come until later that night, I knew this was going to be a dumb-ass week.

  Despite the snow, Vince’s ass still showed the hell up, though, and just looking at him made me sick to my stomach.

  While he was in the room, I was in the kitchen washing dishes, but I knew he was up to something. Leaving the water running and taking my shoes off, I tiptoed over to the room to see what he was doing. Just as I suspected, he moved the picture my mom had of black Jesus from off the wall and pulled a latch that revealed a hole that had money and product stuffed in it. He wasn’t even smart enough to have a lock on it.

  I went back to the sink and continued washing the dishes, afterward setting the table so that I could start cooking things up.

  Vince sat in the living room and switched between watching me and watching the TV. I felt like I was under a magnifying glass as I cooked up mounds of the white powder that the streets called Snow White. I thought about Khalid briefly, but I thought more about the stuff that Vince had in the wall. It was weird that both he and Joey decided to hide their stuff in a room with their loved ones, but Vince didn’t exactly love me, so I guess that’s how it was going to be
. He did what he felt he had to do.

  He allowed me only two bathroom breaks, and around four, he walked me over to Bartram Village so that Ms. Toya could braid my hair again. This was only my second trip to her house, but I was already looking forward to my visit. Her phone conversation had me in stitches the last time I was there, and I was looking forward to hearing her cursing somebody out. I had some questions that I needed answered myself; I just had to find a way to slide them in there like it wasn’t me I was talking about.

  She was standing outside waiting when we walked up, and I came to the conclusion that her and my uncle Vince were still going at it, because she just snatched the money out of his hands and walked into the building, not even bothering to speak or anything like that. I didn’t even know I was coming today, because had I known, I would have at least started taking my hair out. I wasn’t mad, though, because that just meant I would be there longer.

  I looked for Ms. Reid when I got inside, but she wasn’t there. I didn’t know if they shared a place or what, because it was a two-bedroom unit, but since it wasn’t my business, I didn’t ask.

  “Journey, your hair held up good,” Toya said to me as she unraveled my braids with a metal-tip rat-tail comb. It still looked cute because it was all crinkly when she unraveled it, but once she pulled that wide-tooth comb through it, I was back to having a wild bush.

  I climbed up on the drain board like before and covered my eyes with the towel so that she could wash and scrub my hair. I had my eyes closed and under the towel, so I didn’t realize that she had taken her shirt off until I lifted up to get down from the sink. My eyes popped wide open as I took in her curves and the small butterfly tattoo that sat to the left of her belly button on her flat stomach.

  Her breasts sat up perfectly in her navy blue and orange cream bra, and on the way back down, I could see the rim of her panties because her jeans were unbuttoned. When she turned around, I noticed she had on a thong again, and I knew I had to ask some questions before I rolled out. If I didn’t have anything else when I grew up, I had to have a body like hers.

  “So, what you been up to since the last time you was here?” Toya asked as she parted my hair into sections to dry it.

  “The same ol’ stuff. Going to school and studying with Khalid. He really liked my hair,” I said, blushing a little as I remembered the look on Khalid’s face when I walked up the morning after I got my hair done.

  “Ohhh, so you have a boyfriend?” Toya said in a singsong voice that made me giggle and blush even more.

  “Well, he’s not exactly my boyfriend, but we do spend a lot of time together,” I said to her shyly. I wanted to ask her so many things, but where should I start?

  “Khalid . . .” Toya said as if she was trying to place a face with the name. “That’s Street’s son, right?”

  “Mr. Joey, you mean?” I ask to make sure we were talking about the same person. I knew Khalid’s last name was Street, but I didn’t know that they called his dad by it.

  “Yeah, that’s him. Khalid is a handsome little boy. Y’all kissed yet?” she asked on the sly that made me blush again. I didn’t want her to think I was loose and that we were already having relations, but Khalid kissed me all the time, so I assumed he liked me.

  “Once or twice,” I responded shyly, giggling.

  “Let me tell you something about boys, Journey,” she said to me as she continued to part my hair into big sections to prepare me for blow-drying.

  “A kiss don’t mean shit. You’re too young right now to understand it, and it’s not to say that Khalid doesn’t like you, but a boy will kiss you just to trick you into thinking he likes you so he can get your goodies. You’re not having sex yet, are you?”

  “No! I never thought about it,” I responded, surprised by her mode of questioning. I knew I was about to learn a serious life lesson, so I paid close attention to what she would say next.

  “I had to ask. Shit, I been fuckin’ since I was like ten years old. True story. And I made some mistakes along the way, but understand that giving everybody your pussy won’t leave you with anything but a wet ass and dry pockets. You’re too young right now, but if you stick around long enough, I’ll school you on what’s really good, so that you won’t get caught out there.”

  “Wow. I’m not anywhere near out there, and besides Khalid, I don’t talk to any other boys.”

  “That’s cool, but what have Khalid given you for those kisses?” she asked before pulling the blow dryer comb through my damp hair. My hair was thick and nappy at the root, so I had to brace myself, since Toya was not gentle when she did my hair. I didn’t want to have to talk over the dryer, so I waited until she was done to answer.

  “He lets me wear his chain while we’re in school,” I finally responded to her question. It made me feel real special, because I knew Gina got jealous that she wasn’t the one with it on.

  “That doesn’t mean shit,” she said, crushing all of my hopes and dreams. “That just means he’s marking his territory so that no one else will step to you.”

  “Well, why would anyone else want me? No one else has said anything to me before.” I was completely puzzled now. Khalid and I shared so much, yet so little, because I was so embarrassed by my situation. I did wonder every so often what made him just approach me after all this time. We spent four grades in the same class and he never stepped to me before.

  “That’s the thing. He saw something in you that maybe the other boys in your class hadn’t yet, and he stepped to you before anyone else saw it.” She said while combing my hair roughly.

  “He lets you wear his chain at school, huh? And that means what to you? See if he’ll let you wear it overnight, and then you’ll know what’s really good.”

  I sat there and took it all in, and for the very first time, I had doubts about where me and Khalid’s relationship was going. He was so attentive and carried my books and everything. He never allowed anyone to say anything sideways to me, even though I was sure they did on the low, but Khalid was like my savior, and it was safe to say that I almost loved him for that. So why would he try to play me?

  “So, is that why you wear thongs all the time? To keep your boyfriend from looking at other girls?” I asked innocently. I wanted a thong; I just doubted that Vince would let me have them.

  “Girl,” Toya burst out, laughing almost to the point where I thought she was going to fall out of the chair. “I wear thongs because bloomers are for old people. I’m only twenty-one, and my ass is like whoa in these jeans. I’m not about to let a panty line ruin it.”

  I laughed along with her as she continued to break down how boys work and how I had to always stay a step ahead so that a boy couldn’t play me. She told me that if I wasn’t gaining anything from giving a boy my goodies, then I needed to keep my goodies to myself.

  Suddenly, I knew that’s exactly how I would have to be with my uncle Vince from now on. I was tired of performing oral sex for him just for the benefit of my mother; it was time I came up on this deal as well. I needed a new coat, and by the end of the week, I planned to have one.

  I was definitely learning from Toya, and I knew she would be the one to help me out. I was confused about so many things, like why my uncle treated me the way he did, and what I felt for Khalid. I didn’t know if I would ever tell anyone my secret, but I knew I would eventually develop a plan to better deal with it.

  Vincent Clayton

  Soldier Boy

  Once again, it took forever for Toya to do my niece’s hair, because I know bitches just can’t sit down to get they hair done, they gotta gossip the entire time. I was pissed because I was out here in the damn snow, still hustling. Fiends don’t give a damn about no snowfall; they trudge right through that shit to get what they need. Who am I to deny them satisfaction? I really didn’t mind the cold, but this shit was un-drivable, so I had to walk every-gotdamn-where, which took extra long when you had snow up to your ass, and I wasn’t in the mood.

  I could have
gone home like three in the morning when the snow first started to fall, but I didn’t think it would be that bad, and I didn’t want to chance getting stuck out in Bala Cynwood if the snow got to be too deep. My dogs were in the crib, so I wasn’t worried about that either; I just hoped they didn’t tear up my shit too much before I got back.

  That was four days ago, and I was getting more aggravated by the day, so I was trying to keep my cool.

  In the four days that Journey had been out of school, she cooked up enough product to last us a couple of weeks, depending on the flow of business. As a reward, I took her to get her hair done, to teach her that if she wanted to keep getting her hair done and getting nice clothes, she would have to put in work. Nothing in this world came for free, and if I did nothing else, I would drill this in her head, even if it killed me. Shit, the only reason why she wasn’t on the block was because she was a girl. Let her had been my nephew instead, and he’d be right the fuck out here in the trenches, hustling like the rest of us. If Street was smart, his boy would have been on the block already, too, but I guess everyone has their values.

  When I went to pick up Journey, there was something different about her. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but something in her had changed. On the way over, she was barely making it through the snow and I had to help her up like a thousand times. On the way back, she flowed through like that shit was easy, and I was the one stumbling all over the place.

  “Journey, when you get upstairs, I left a small batch on the table for you to finish up. Have it done by the time I get back,” I said to her when we got in front of the door.

  She didn’t even reply. She just turned and sashayed her ass up the steps and let herself in. I noticed her little ass bouncing around in her sweatpants, and my dick got hard instantly. I knew Journey was going to have a hell of a shape when she got older, and if nothing else, I would be the first to tap that shit.