by Audrina Lane
Under the warming jets of the shower we spent ages just kissing and stroking each other with the shower gel, before James took the shower head off its hook and placed my hand with his onto it.
“I can’t” I whispered, suddenly so shy and unsure as I turned away from him.
“Ok” he responded as he turned me around towards him again, “I can wait as long as it takes because I love you”
“I love you too” I responded, so thankful that James was a true gentleman. We finished in the shower and he gently wrapped me in a towel and dried me off too, his touch so soothing and warm. Why did I have to go home again?
After breakfast we packed up my bag and then headed for the car and the drive home.
Arriving back home I didn’t want to get out of the car but I knew I had too as James had to get back for his afternoon shift. He carried my bag back upstairs to my room and we shared one last, long, lingering kiss as he held me tightly in his arms, how I was going to miss the feel of them. It was as though he could read my mind as he murmured
“I’ll miss you so much and will be back down to see you as soon as I have a free weekend so long as it doesn’t clash with your exam dates”
I nodded, unable to speak as my throat was already choking back the sobs that were forming at his imminent departure.
“I love you” I breathed softly into his chest where my head was resting.
“I love you too, Stephanie”
Then I walked with him back to his car and watched as his tail lights disappeared from view as he turned the corner at the end of the road. I ran back to my room and threw myself on the bed and cried for all I was worth, until my eyes were red and sore yet again.
Chapter 18
Charlotte put the diary aside and turned on her ipad to check Facebook and to download her clip from the dance finals for Mitch to see. It was a lovely surprise to see a message already waiting for her from Mitch, along with a clip of their dance routine to Skyfall and the comment ‘nice legs’. She responded with a comment on his routine saying ‘nice ass’ and a smiley face. Almost immediately a response came back asking if she could talk if he gave her a call on her mobile number. Lying back against her pillows Charlotte took a deep breath and then typed yes and waited for her phone to ring and to hear his deep voice again.
“Hi Charlie”
“Hi Mitch”
“So, did you get the chance to speak to your Mum yet about us meeting?”
“Yes and she said yes but she is going to come up to Birmingham for the day with my Aunt Sarah…she says she wants to meet you”
“Ok, I can go with that” he replied “If it means I get to spend the rest of the day alone with you”
“Yes…my Mum is cool I’ve told her not to embarrass me when she meets you”
“Well, if she is half as nice as you it won’t be too bad, does she work?”
“Yeah, she’s a DJ for a local radio station”
“Wow, that’s cool”
“Yeah…cool if you like old music” Charlotte replied, laughing and settling into the conversation and feeling like she had known Mitch for a lot longer than a few weeks.
He was so easy to talk too and he listened too instead of just talking about himself.
“What about your Dad?”
“My Dad died when I was 3 months old, so I never really knew him”
“Oh, that’s awful so no step dad then?”
“No, my Mum hasn’t even been on a date as far as I can remember, I think she misses my Dad too much, he was a Doctor and he got stabbed in the car park at the end of his shift…drug addict or something, it must have been awful for her”
“Gosh, that’s one hell of a thing to have to go through, I know my Dad comes home from work sometimes and can hardly speak after some of the fire’s that he has attended, he’s a fireman”
“That’s a cool job too” Charlotte replied. There was a pause as each of them considered their future lives and that of their respective parents.
“So how about next weekend?” Mitch said.
“I’ll ask Mum later and drop you a text if that’s ok?”
“Sure, hope it will be as I can’t wait to see you again, you looked fabulous in those tight dance pants you wore for Skyfall”
It was a good job Mitch couldn’t see the blush that was spreading over her cheeks.
“Thanks” she mumbled, suddenly shy at the compliment.
“I’ve gotta go now but will look forward to your text later, I hope we can get together then” he replied
“Catch you later then Mitch” Charlie finished
“Later, Charlie” he replied and then the line went dead.
She couldn’t believe the grin that spread over her face. He was so nice and gorgeous too and seemed to think she was too. Today had been a very good day. Luckily her Mum had already spoken to Aunt Sarah so by the time Charlotte headed up to bed she was able to tell Mitch yes for next Saturday. She had a week to prepare and of course shop and get her hair cut and lots of other things that she knew she would need to do to prepare for this meeting with her future, her destiny if she was lucky.
Monday dawned and Charlotte couldn’t wait to tell Julia about her weekend and the phone call from Mitch and the date next Saturday. As I watched my daughter with a new swing in her step I wondered what this next step in her life would lead too. I hoped that he was a nice lad and that he would treat her daughter with respect being a few years older than her. I was looking forward to a day of shopping, lunch and perhaps a film with Sarah in Birmingham next Saturday. In the meantime, work and chores were on the day’s agenda.
When Charlotte returned home she rushed through the house like a whirlwind
“What’s wrong?” I asked
“We need to find a song from the eighties to dance too as the stipulation for the Grand Finals in London is that on the Saturday we dance our 2 previous dances and then on Sunday morning we dance the new one but to make it easier for the judges we all have to choose music from the eighties so any chance we can go through your music?”
“Yes, I’m sure I can help you with this”
“My dance teacher thought you might be able to come up with a couple of suggestions that I can take along with me to practice on Thursday.
“Well, we had better get started” I said, looking forward to an evening of reminiscence.
“Do you want something fast or slow?” I asked as we were both sat cross legged on the floor in front of my record collection.
“Slow, is generally better for us but I don’t really mind” Charlotte replied.
Eventually we had got a choice of four different songs, Hunting High and Low by A-Ha, Billie Jean by Michael Jackson, I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston and Take my Breath Away by Berlin. Strangely out of the four songs Charlie liked Take my Breath away the most, she looked up the video on You Tube and I could see that Charlie was taken in by the strong images of the woman with her singed black tipped hair as she stood on the broken fuselage of the planes.
“This song is from that film you and James liked?”
“Yes, it is, it still reminds me of our time together” I replied.
“You really loved him didn’t you Mum?”
“Yes, you never forget your first love” I responded “He will always have a special place in my heart”
“Do you have a copy of the film, I’d like to watch it with you” Charlie asked.
“Yes, I think so” I replied “But I’ll have to go and look for it”
“Ok Mum, I’ll go put some popcorn in the microwave then” my daughter replied, jumping up from the floor and heading to the kitchen.
When she returned I placed the DVD into the machine and we settled back, Charlie stretched out on the sofa and I took the arm chair. This was going to be hard, I always cried when I watched this film.
As the film started and the planes streaked across the screen I closed my eyes and I was back to being sixteen all over again. Charlotte was soon
sucked into the story of Maverick, Goose and the gang.
“Mum, did you name me after Charlie on the film?” she asked
“Sort of, at the time I hadn’t realised that I had, but both myself and Mark liked the name Charlotte” I replied.
As the love scene between Charlie and Maverick filled the screen I excused myself and headed to the kitchen to make drinks but in reality I couldn’t bear to feel the emotions spilling over as I remembered. I leaned against the island unit as the tears spilled down my cheeks. It was hard to lie to Charlotte about my true feelings for her Dad. Yes I had loved him but more as a friend than as a lover. He had never filled the gap that James had left; he had never unlocked my heart as James still held the key. I reached for some kitchen roll and wiped my eyes.
The credits rolled at the end and I watched as Charlotte looked over at me.
“Great film” she replied, “I think our group should definitely choose that song” she finished “I think we can come up with something spectacular”
“Well, I will look forward to the final even more if you do this song, it would make me so proud”
She walked over to me and hugged me “Do you miss Dad?”
“Yes, he would have been so proud of you, you were his princess”
“I wish I had known him” she sniffed, wiping tears from her eyes, partly from the film but partly from not knowing or having a father in her life.
“He would have been a fantastic Dad to you” I replied, handing her a tissue and also wiping my eyes too, the emotions of the evening were almost too much to handle.
As we both headed up to bed Charlotte turned to me.
“Thanks Mum”
“What for?”
“Everything, you’re the best” she finished. Then I watched her shut the door of her room
“Night, sweetheart” I finished, as I headed for my own bed and my own memories.
That night I dreamt about how I had first met Mark at the hospital and then when we had eventually become a couple. It struck me that I hadn’t really felt the same butterflies whenever we were together; I had just felt safe and no longer alone.
At the time I had equated this with being how love was really meant to be when you were older, but in essence I knew that I had never really loved Mark. He had been a good friend who loved me no matter that my heart was sealed off from him. James would forever be my true love for the rest of my life.
In her bedroom Charlotte reached for the diary and read about the moment when her Mum and James finally made love, the night of her end of year dance.
Chapter 19
Friday 1st July, 1988
At last my exams are over and I can breathe a sigh of relief and just wait for the results. But I had more pressing things to worry about; James was coming down and taking me to our end of year dance. It had taken me weeks to find the perfect dress, as I looked at it hanging on my wardrobe door. I had been to the hairdresser’s earlier and my hair was piled high on my head, curled to perfection with tendrils escaping down my cheeks, I just had my make up to do and my dress to put on before James came to collect me. He had been working today so was just able to get away in time to drive down and pick me up before the dance.
Sarah had been just as excited as she had been dating Chris since our weekend together in April and they made such a cute couple. James was picking us all up, me first and then Chris and finally Sarah. I had even bought new underwear as the dress was strapless; underneath it I wore a full petticoat that made the skirt stand out, beneath this a black satin strapless bra, French knickers, suspender belt and stockings. I couldn’t wait for James to see the whole ensemble later when he undressed me. Tonight was going to be the night, the last time we had been together in May things had grown even stronger between us as we had explored even further and I had let him stroke me and he had finally made me come in the shower under some guidance from my hand and the shower head. I couldn’t wait to feel that magical feeling as our two bodies became one.
I was so caught up in my daydreams that I never heard the car pull into the drive and was startled from my daydreams as James walked into my room and quickly drew in his breath.
“Wow, you look amazing” he breathed as he crossed the room and paused to take me all in. Then I walked into his arms and we kissed so much that when I drew away I couldn’t help but laugh at my lipstick on his lips. I wiped it off and then paused to put some more on.
“Is your bag ready?” he asked
“Yes” I breathed, as we were heading back to his parents for a whole week, I could hardly believe it.
At the bottom of the stairs my Mum and Dad were waiting, Dad with his camera poised.
“I have to get a photograph of you looking so beautiful” he said “My little girl looks all grown up tonight”
James stood aside as my Dad snapped away “Can you take one of us together?” I eventually managed to ask. He nodded as James came and joined me and put his arm around my waist, he looked so gorgeous in his suit and tie, and he literally took my breath away that evening.
Once I had said goodbye we headed for the car and then once we had picked up Sarah and Chris we arrived at the hotel where the dance was being hosted. I felt so smug when we all entered the room and quite a few heads swivelled to stare at the four of us. I noticed the jealous glances of some of the girls in our year who hadn’t managed to get a date, or who were just dating guys in our year.
After getting drinks for us we got on the dance floor. I had never seen James move before but he was good, then later in the evening they started on the slow songs and the lights were dimmed. All of a sudden the lilting melody of Take my Breath away came through the speakers and a dedication
“To the most beautiful girl in the world, you know who you are” I stared up at James and he grinned down at me “It’s for you, baby” he said as he took me in his arms and we moved slowly to the rhythm, feeling as if we were the only two people on the dance floor, or even the world.
As it was getting late we headed to the foyer and said goodbye to Sarah and Chris. Once in the car James turned to me and said “We’re not going to my parents place, we are going somewhere special instead”
“Where” I asked.
“It’s a surprise” he replied as we headed off into the darkness.
I must have drifted off as the sudden stop of the car woke me up and I realised we were outside a large hotel.
“Wow” I breathed “This looks posh”
“You deserve it” James replied as he helped me out of the car and we went up the steps to the door. Once James had signed us in we headed for our room, opening the door I wandered in and once again I was speechless.
“This looks lovely, I bet it was expensive”
“Well, we have lots to celebrate but as it’s late I’ll explain in the morning” he said as he put our bags down and looked at the large four poster bed.
“I think you are wearing far too many clothes for the occasion” he murmured as I was again in his arms and the kisses began. Slowly he untied my dress at the back and then as it fell to the floor he drew in his breath once more as he removed the petticoat and drank in the sight of me in my new underwear.
“You truly look amazing” he said, as I grabbed his tie and pulled him close again.
Before I knew it we were lying on the bed and I was naked in his arms as his lips travelled down my body, they didn’t stop as they passed my belly button and soon he was kissing me in a place where he had never kissed me before. I gasped at the sensations rising through my body; this was much better than the shower head. Then he was heading back up my body to capture my lips in his and then to my ear “Are you ready?” he asked “Yes” I breathed as he moved over me and we continued to kiss as he slipped a condom on. I arched my body beneath him as he slowly pushed his hardness into me for the very first time. I caught my breath, as the pain shot through me but I didn’t let it show as James continued to kiss me and slowly move inside of me, the pressure was bu
ilding. Then all of a sudden I felt him shudder and then slow as he held me close. Where were the fireworks? The symphony of music that many books had led me to believe would happen at this very moment. Perhaps I had done it wrong?
James pulled me into his arms and kissed me again “That was wonderful, baby, I love you” he breathed “I love you too” I replied, hoping he wouldn’t catch the slight tinge of disappointment in my voice. But he was too sharp not to notice and he leaned up “Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”
“No, it was fine but where were the fireworks I read about” I asked, quietly.
“I think the first time is always like that, I know mine was” he replied “but then I wasn’t with a girl I loved as much as I love you” he replied.
“Will it get better?” I asked.
“Yes, I will make sure it does” James replied so solemnly that I couldn’t help but start to giggle.
“I love you James with all my heart and soul” I finally said as I kissed him again and then snuggled up into his awaiting arms.
“I love you too Steph” he breathed, as sleep took us and we drifted away.
Saturday 2nd July, 1988
We awoke suddenly to a knock on the door, I watched as James sprang out of bed and grabbing one of the hotel robes just smiled and opened the door. It was room service with breakfast on a tray, which the waitress left on a small table next to some French doors. Rubbing my eyes I smiled at this opulence as James carried over two glasses of orange juice and after putting them on the bedside table he slipped back into bed beside me.
“Morning baby” he murmured as I pulled him into my arms and the passion overtook us. This time James took much longer kissing and caressing me so that by the time he slipped in I was weak with longing and my whole body was on fire under his touch. We moved together, our hearts beating as one and I flew, high on this fantastic feeling of being with James.